Sunday, December Twenty Third, 12:02…

“We’re here!” Rian announced as he stopped the bus at the back of the familiar bar. I saw a few trucks parked in the back, but nothing else unfamiliar. The landscape was a painful reminder of when I had first come here, when I had first tried to escape. It seemed like forever ago since it had happened.

Zack squeezed my hand firmly as he pulled me up. I was handed my backpack by Alex, slinging it over my shoulder. We silently exited the bus, all streaming down the steps towards the backdoor. Zack tightened his grip against me as we patiently waited. All too soon, the door opened.

“Hello, boys. You’re earlier than expected.” A woman chuckled. Jack grinned.

“We didn’t make as many detours as we had hoped.” He shrugged. The woman let the five us in. We went into a room very similar to the one at the Wanderer’s Paradise, or whatever last bar I had been in. We all sat around a table. My eyes darted nervously from corner to corner, making sure we were safe. We could never be too careful…

“Okay, so we just had a few questions to ask one of you while we wait. We’re going to contact the next bus to check in on their location.” The same woman came back in.

“We can go.” Jack, Alex, and Rian offered. They all followed the woman to another room, the wooden door closing behind them. Zack and I were left alone in the room. I tapped my foot anxiously against the floor.

“Rory, Rory, sweetheart, look at me.” Zack tilted my chin to him. His gaze caught mine.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered. He cupped my face in his hands, pressing his lips carefully against mine. I melted into him, starting to feel at ease.

“Don’t be sorry. I want you to get better, okay? The memories won’t go away, but you know what? They don’t have to control your life, do you hear me?” He whispered. I nodded, our foreheads touching. Memories may stick with us, but they don’t have to rule our lives.

“But they’re terrible and I can’t escape my mind.” I whimpered. He stroked my cheek, kissing the corner of my mouth.

“Our minds are us, but calm down for a moment. Breathe with me. In…out…in…out…” He whispered, leading me in some calming exercises. I instantly felt soothed. He caressed my cheek again, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear.

“I want you to do this if you ever feel anxious, okay? Sweetheart, you’re going to be alright. I love you, you know that, right?” He whispered. I nodded.

“I know.” I murmured, my eyes fluttering close. He pressed his lips against mine one more time, his bittersweet memory was on my tongue. The boys came back into the room as we broke away.

“You’re all cleared. The other bus will be here in a couple of days.” The woman nodded and went back out to the front as the bell rang. The others thanked her and turned to us. Zack and I stood up. I gave them each a hug, quietly saying goodbye to them. Alex ruffled my hair affectionately.

“Be safe, Rory.” He smiled. I nodded weakly.

“I will.” I responded. The others went back to the bus as Zack was the last to hug me. I latched onto him like I would never let go. When we finally parted, he handed me a slip of paper.

“It’s my number. Don’t hesitate to call me, for any reason.” He murmured, kissing my cheek.

“Thank you, Zack. Really, for everything.” I mumble. He squeezed my hand before moving back out to the bus. I ran out just in time to wave goodbye. As I reentered the building, I slid the paper into my pocket with the other one. Two numbers. Two guys.

I felt heavy inside. My brain felt like it was going to explode. I was without Zack. The realization hit me. I wasn’t with Zack. He was the only thing that was protecting me from all the other people that were going to harm me. Ricky wasn’t here. He was back in who knows what state, maybe searching for me, maybe forgetting me.

The room spun as I lay down. I had to close my eyes. Zack wasn’t going to be here to protect me. What was I going to do? My chest clenched up, tears threatening to spill. This wasn’t like me at all. What happened to confident, determined Rory? Where had she gone? Now, I just felt like curling up into a ball and disappearing forever. I felt like the world was crashing down on my shoulders.

What was happening to me?


A few days later, December Twenty Fifth….

It was Christmas morning. I should be spending this time with my family. Instead, I was silently laying in a bed that didn’t belonging to me, trapped inside my head. Over the course of the past few days, I felt dead inside. I heard the words between the woman and the man that ran the place. Words like ‘skittish’, ‘silent’, and ‘ill’ passed between them.

No, I couldn’t be ill.

I wasn’t ill. I was strong. I had to be strong, even though it was harder than moving mountains with your pinkies.

Shivering, I curled closer under my blanket, shivering as a cold gust swept the building. Blinking my eyes open, I saw the dark room. Christmas lights were hanging in the main parlor of the bar. It was deathly silent.

I sat up, blinking my eyes, looking around.

And I saw Zack.

He sat in the corning, giving me a sad look, a sad smile. I waved a little bit. When I blinked, he was gone. No, I should’ve known it wasn’t him. It was just….just a hallucination.

Over the past few days, I had a few of those. It thought I saw things or heard things that weren’t there. It was like I was trapped inside my head, and the more I was silent, the less hallucinations there were. I had fallen all but mute, with simple answers being the most of my vocabulary. After a few hours of Zack leaving, I talked with the woman, but she wanted to know how the trip went. As I talked, I swore I heard Zack laughing in the background. I swore I heard Jack and Alex teasing each other. It was all driving me nuts. So I stopped talking. The startling noises stopped. The hallucinations were less frequent. Now, I was alone in my thoughts.

As soon as the latest memory of Zack disappeared, I silently sighed, getting out of bed, wrapping a blanket around my shoulders. Although I didn’t really want to move, I knew I had to. It was Christmas. I might as well go look at the tree.

Silently padding out to the bar area, I went to stare at the four foot tall Christmas tree. It stood proudly in the corner, the lights emitting a soft glow that reflected off the ornaments. I sat down beside it at a table. The clock struck the hour, but I didn’t care. I was just numb all over.

“Hey.” A voice whispered. The woman, Mary-Ann was her name, came and sat opposite of me. She handed me a mug of hot chocolate. She made the best warm drinks. I smiled at her gratefully.

“I know that it’s kind of rough being alone on Christmas Day and that you’re already going through a hard time, but I got you a present to cheer you up.” She said softly, patting my hand.

“You didn’t have to do that.” I whispered. She shook her head.

“Oh, it’s not a big deal. The surprise really wanted to do it anyways, so I couldn’t say no, could I?” She smiled. I blushed and looked down, taking another sip of hot chocolate. It slid down my throat, warming me up. We sat in silence for a moment. Something rolled outside the dark bar. A truck turned off. I wonder who that could be.

“Look like he’s here…” Mary-Ann smiled. I set my drink down, trying to peer behind the blinds. My face twisted up into curiosity as I stood up. Someone came through the door.

“Well hello there, Rory.” Jason smiled at me. I broke out into a wide grin as he came up and gave me a warm hug. He held me tightly against his chest

“Hello, Jason.” I whispered. He took my hand, squeezing it gently. I knew I could trust him. He was the one person who had helped me plan my escape.

“Merry Christmas.” He responded happily. Mary-Ann got up to go get him another glass of hot chocolate. We sat side by side at the table next to the Christmas tree.

I opened up, talking with him anxiously. I knew that it might be dangerous for me, but I felt…safe…around him. It was like he was one of the few people I could talk to and not have the hallucinations or feel anxious. He was like Zack, or Ricky, someone I could trust.

I needed to find more people like them.

We kept on talking and talking, about nothing and everything. Mary-Ann looked at me in wonder. As soon as we took a break, she just shook her head.

“Girl, I haven’t heard you speak that much. Jason, you work wonders with her.” Mary chuckled. I looked down, not wanting to let them see me blush. The clock rang out eight bells before falling quiet. The sun was just rising in the east, finally shedding blue in the sky. We resumed quiet conversation until there was a noise in the back.

“What was that?” I asked nervously. Jason patted my knee. I jumped.

“Don’t worry Rory, it’s just the boys. They’re early. I wasn’t expecting them this early in the day.” Mary soothed me. I nodded quickly, starting to shake. My nails bit into my palms, trying to calm me. What did I have to worry? They’ll protect me, help me…won’t they?

“Mary was telling me that these boys were really easy going, don’t worry.” Jason whispered. I started to hole up into myself again, mentally building a wall. I couldn’t be hurt again. I had to do anything to protect myself. Jason took my hand, squeezing it. A set of footsteps started up behind us. They were whispering and I listened in. I don’t think they knew I could hear them.

“So her name is Rory?” A man asked. A man. A man. Will he hurt me? Will he abuse me and violate me? Was he just posing as helpful so that he can actually hurt me?

“Yes. Please be gentle. She’s very skittish and she’s been pretty quiet. You’ll find more details in the folder.” Mary responded. There was no more comments as I turned around.

“Rory, this is Austin Carlile. Austin, this is your Wanderer, Rory.” Jason pulled me to stand up to meet the man.

Austin Carlile. Yes, I know him. He’s the lead singer of the band Of Mice and Men. I love their songs all of them. I used to think that despite having a lot of tattoos and being six foot four, he was a gentle giant.

All I saw was a scary man in front of me. He could easily step on me, crushing me under his heel. But what was the worst part?

Ryan was tall. He was powerful. He has tattoos. He used and abused me.

This man, Austin, was tall. He looks powerful. He has tattoos. Would he hurt me? Yes, I already knew this. He would hurt me and he would make it endless pain.

Jason pushed my limp body forward towards Austin. He grinned down at me, removing his aviators and hooking them on the neckline of his shirt. I tried to stop shaking, all my nerves set on fire. Austin held out his hand. I slowly took it.

“Hello, Rory. I’m Austin.” He introduced himself in his sweet voice. I bit my lip, trying to find a word to respond with. I removed my hand slowly.

“Hi.” I whispered, dropping my gaze to the floor. I couldn’t look up at him. All I saw was Ryan. Jason wrapped an arm around my shoulders. I leaned into his side, trying to do anything to hide from the scary man.

“Don’t be afraid. He’s one of the nicest guys you’d ever meet.” Jason whispered to me as Marry gave Austin a little signal.

“He’s Ryan.” I whispered softly back, eyes wide and pleading. Please, if I have to walk for a few weeks, that’ll be fine. I just don’t want to go with this man.

“Rory, you’ll be joining Austin and the band for a few weeks. Austin, can I talk to you for a minute? I think we need to go over her folder.” Mary-Ann insisted. I watched as Austin smiled at me before following the woman to walk away. As soon as he was out of the room, I stopped shaking.

Jason rubbed my shoulder soothingly, whispering positive things into my ear. He said it would be fun. He said that they were going to take care of me. Could I really believe that? I could only nod. I couldn’t speak.

How would this encounter end?

Notes