*Jaime’s POV*

“Mike, stop being a dork.” I groaned. We were at an arcade/pizza parlor for lunch while Tony was attempting to woo a blue haired season back at his house. I think Vic was making it hard for him.

Then again, Tony is only ATTEMPTING to woo her. I never said it would work. The Turtle had zero social skills around girls.

Meanwhile, I was watching Mike challenge a little eight year old girl to skee-ball. It was like bowling, but you had to get the ball into little holes for points. The tattooed man was furiously attempting to launch round projectiles as targets that most normal people would hit.

Needless to say, the little girl was winning.

Mike had the aim of a goat… a very, very clumsy goat.

My friend was very frustrated as the fourth ball had missed them middle fifty point ring and the buzzer went off on the other girl’s side. She had scored another hundred points. The game rightfully declared her the winner. The child’s mother actually seemed sort of impressed as she gathered up her bundle of tickets. Mike looked deflated.

“Do you want some of my tickets?” The little child asked the drummer. I mean, the kid was holding somewhere in the range of a pile of tickets that probably weighed as much as Mike. That kid was loaded.

“I’m fine Rena, but that was a good game!” Mike chuckled sadly. The mom quietly guided her kid away from the loser. I think she was whispering something about not talking to tattooed goats.

Seriously, that man had the coordination of a goat.

We’ve been over this.

I saw the wistfulness in his eyes as sat back on the opposite side of the booth. He took a slice of cheese and munched on it. A string of gooey substance dangled from his mouth.

“You should pick on someone your own size.” I shook my head at him. A small smile tingle at my lips.

“Shut your face hole and let me eat my processed cheese.” He grumbled and shot me a glare. A small pile of tickets about the size of a mouse was at his side.

“Whatever you say, goat boy.” I shook my head. Mike gave me a questioning look and shoved the entire slice in his face. I took a sip of the cherry coke and stabbed the straw to the bottom, as if I was attempting to mutilate the ice. They slid out of my stabs and taunted me as their rattles echoed in the plastic cup.

“What are you trying to do?” Mike asked me. His forehead wrinkled up in curiosity.

“Stab ice.”

“Good luck trying to do that with a straw. And you call ME the goat, asshat.” Mike grumbled. I rolled my eyes and abandoned my futile attempts to gulp down more pepperoni pizza.

“So why did you bring me here?” I questioned after a minute. Mike grinned and peppered his cheese with more grated cheese shoved in a jar.

Mike had pulled me into this pizza parlor about an hour ago because he said that we had secret matters to discuss. I mean, when I thought about secret matters, I would expect him to go to a park, or in a dark alley, or maybe a cave. Anywhere but a pizza parlor and arcade with screaming children around us.

“Well, Turtle, we have a very important thing to discuss.”

“Which is…?” I asked. He paused a moment. The suspense was building. Was the end of the world approaching? Was Pierce the Veil breaking up? Did we get deported back to Mexico!?!?

“MIKE!” I yelled. He had slurped his coke. I frowned.

“Oh, sorry. We’re here to talk about your love life!” He told me. I groaned and hit my head against the seat’s back a couple of times. Maybe Mike wouldn’t notice if I passed out and missed his whole “important discussion”.

“Seriously? I’m with Olivia!” I sighed. Mike clucked his tongue at me and shook his head.

“But you love Ding.” He told me.

“But I’m with Olivia!” I protested.

“Ding.”

“Olivia!”

“Ding!”

“Olivia!”

“But Ding!”

“Ding?” I asked.

“You said it! You love her!” Mike exclaimed, extending a finger and nearly hitting me in the nose. That butt-queef…

“It was simply a sound, not her name!” I sputtered. Mike had a smirk on his face as wide as Olivia’s ego.

“May I point out that the fact that you like her is so noticeable, I’m not sure why it’s not on national TV already.” Mike stated. Around us, the same girl with a mountain of tickets was currently buying a Guitar Hero guitar set and some other assorted items. I watched her until Mike flicked my nose.

“Hey!” I protested. Mike furrowed his brow.

“Focus, Himes! I’ve got a plan to get MD to fall in love with you!” Mike exclaimed. I could literally feel all color escape my face. Mike’s plans usually involved getting drunk, buying fighting roosters, sending the person to Djibouti on a cargo plane filled, and spicy tacos.

Lots and lots of tacos.

“Dude, I already had to return the plane ticket to Djibouti last time, I don’t-“ I started. Oh, trying to return that plane ticket had been a huge headache. At least the plane hadn’t taken off already…

“No, I didn’t buy it already! It’s on hold!” He argued.

“Okay, then what’s the plan?” I questioned, starting to feel a little better about it.

“Here’s the plan of attack: Olivia is still going on tour with us, right?” Mike asked. I nodded. The girl had kept pestering me about a month ago to let her come on part of the tour with us until I had said yes. She had thrown fits and nearly broken my great grandmother’s lamp.

Poor gram-gram.

“Well, we just take MD along with us as well! Tony was planning on asking Autumn to join us for a few weeks, and so MD will have someone else to go with, and she’ll fall in love with you, the sexican the hair of a homeless man. Vic came up with part of the plan.” Mike folded his arms and had a triumphant look on his face. I could almost see the movie play out in his mind.

“Wait, did Vic call me a homeless man?” I asked, a little hurt. Mike stuck his tongue out.

“No, stupid. I did! I figured that Vic implied it, so I just added it in.” He stated firmly. With a sigh, I rubbed my forehead with the growing headache.

There is a reason that every time I hang with Mike, I take Asprin with me.

“Back to the basics, so you want me to bring MD along so that she’ll fall in love with me?” I asked. Mike nodded.

“Exactly.” Mike affirmed and fingered the tickets in his tiny stack. The little girl at the counter who was loaded in tickets glanced back at us. I smiled but she looked away quickly.

Did I really have the hair of a homeless man? Man, it must be bad…

“No.” I shook my head at the drummer. He looked shocked.

“No!? Why?” He cried out.

“Because, MD doesn’t love me.” I stated. I felt the lump rise at the back of my throat. I knew MD doesn’t love me, not after what happened with Olivia. I mean, I kind of secretly hope that she likes me, but you know….it’s probably not true.

“What! Yes she does!” Mike slammed his fist on the table. The cheese spilt.

“Great! You upset the cheese!” I sighed. Mike made a quickly apology to the cheese before sweeping the remnants off the table.

“MD does love you! I can’t believe you don’t see the way she looks at you or how she always steals sips of your drink when you aren’t looking and then she’ll blame it on me!” He exclaimed. I blushed a little and looked down at the empty space next to me in the booth. If MD were here, she would probably be slurping down my cherry coke right now.

“I’ve always been wondering why my drink doesn’t seem to be so full! Wait, did she steal my blanket to?” I asked with a little bit of a laugh. The item had been missing since a week ago when Mike, MD, and I were all at my house watching a movie. It would be pretty adorable to see her cuddled up in my blue blanket that was always so soft and fuzzy. It was my favorite blanket and I wouldn’t mind if she had taken it…

“No, I took your blanket, but that’s beside the point!” He hurriedly excused. My eyes went wide!

“I want my blanket back!” I pouted. Mike waved it away. I’ll get him back later…

“Anyways…MD does love you and you obviously love her! Just dump Olivia and get together with Willow.” Mike stared me down. I shook my head and looked back to my grease covered food.

“No, MD wouldn’t say yes.” I mumbled.

“MD wouldn’t say yes, or are you just too scared to ask her?” Mike taunted. I glowered.

“Am not!”

“Are to!”

“Am not!”

“Excuse me?” The little girl came up to Mike’s side, pulling on his sleeve. She looked a little scared since he had been yelling. Mike looked just as scared. He was probably afraid she would whoop his ass at skee-ball again.

“Oh, hey Rena. Did you want to play another game?” Mike asked. I saw the mother off in the corner. The woman’s arms were filled with the Guitar Hero boxes, a bunch of candy, and her purse. She looked happy, though.

“No, Mr. Mike. I just wanted to give you this.” The little girl had a stuffed golden retriever puppy tucked under her arm. The fluffy tongue was lolled in a frozen happiness. That must’ve been one of her prizes from the thousands of tickets she had acquired.

The eight year old produced a slightly bigger stuffed animal. It was an adorable Rottweiler with glassy eyes the color of soft amber tree sap. Mike’s eyes went wide as he gently took the stuffed puppy from her.

This guy that has tattoos on both arms, a shining medusa piercing, looks threatening in his beanie and evil dead finger inks, a Medusa piercing, and had just been yelling at me….was just approached by an eight year old girl and given an adorable stuffed puppy.

Faith in humanity: Restored.

“A-are you s-sure?” He stuttered out, looking down at Rena’s soft eyes. She nodded. The mom smiled at the exchanged.

“I got something and you didn’t get anything and I felt bad ‘cause you were really good, so I wanted to get you a stuffed puppy.” She said softly. His lips quivered and he gave her a big hug. Her pale little arms gave him a hug back. She looked pretty happy as he stroked the dog’s stiff head.

“This is wonderful! I love him!” Mike exclaimed loud enough for people to look over at him. They probably thought the tattooed goat had gone psycho. The little girl giggled.

“Jaime! Jaime! Do you see this!?” Mike cried out and pointed at the puppy. It was like it was Christmas all over again.

“Yes, I do see it.” I laughed. Rena smiled.

“This dog….is so AWESOME! I love him! He’s going to live at my place.” Mike stated firmly. I just laughed and couldn’t wipe that smile off my face. The mother of the little girl touched her shoulder, urging her that they had to go. Rena gave Mike one last hug. Mike held her tightly.

“Bye, Mr. Mike!” Rena waved as she trotted off with her mother and prizes.

“Bye, Rena!” Mike waved. He set the dog down next to him. The Rottweiler looked just as happy as his owner. I just sighed as Mike bounced up and down in uncontained joy.

“I got a dog!” He pointed. I nodded and rolled my eyes, going to grab another slice of pizza.

“That’s great Mike.” I rolled my eyes and sipped my drink. After another couple of slices of pizza, Mike grabbed his tickets, shoved them deep in his pocket, took the stuffed dog, and stood up.

“Where are you going?” I asked. The man fished a shiny key out of his pocket and started towards the door.

“I’m going to go talk to MD!” He chuckled as my eyes widened. I was helpless to the will of the man and his stuffed dog.

Notes