Shattered

Six days passed by. The entire time, I came out of my room only once when Alan lured me with the promise of a few crackers. It was all my stomach could handle before throwing up whatever I ate.

The pain in my stomach had all but disappeared. I don’t think it ever really went away, but instead my body had grown so accustomed to it, it became a dull throb in the background. The bruise on my back had refused to vanish and I kept an ice pack on it every day.

Today I was feeling good enough to come downstairs for a while. I think Alan would be disappointed if I didn’t. I didn’t want any more punishment. I feared five of the boys. Knowing what Austin did when he snapped, I didn’t want Aaron, Alan, Tino, or Phil to snap like him.

Walking wasn’t so much of a chore, so when I woke up this Thursday morning, I crawled out of bed and went to the door. The clock chimed seven in the morning. Maybe I could swallow some breakfast and water without puking.

As I gave a silent prayer that no one was downstairs, my hope deflated when I saw Tino and Phil in the living room. I snuck past them, tugging on the edge of old black shirt nervously. I was thankful that the green shirt had gotten burned, not my faithful black one that had survived many a torture session. Sure, it had a few rips and burn holes, but it had served me well. The jack and beanie had evaded burning.

It was all I had to remind me of home.

“Hello, Kynder.” Tino welcomed me, looking straight to my eyes. I looked up long enough to answer.

“Hello, sir.” I responded quietly. It was enough to be just heard over the TV. Phil looked up sadly before staring back at the screen. Were they thinking of ways to punish me? Were they thinking about everything I did wrong?

The paranoia in my brain kicked into overdrive. I couldn’t help it.

Marching sullenly into the kitchen, I found Aaron, Alan, and Austin standing there. Alan was on the phone with someone while Aaron looked over a checkbook and discussed with Austin. I had gone unnoticed so far. I hoped it to stay that way.

“Yeah, sure. Does Sunday sound good to you? Seven o’clock is open for us. Yeah, she’s broken. Minor injuries-no don’t worry about that. We can discuss amounts when you come. Sure, sounds good. I think so, I don’t know if she’s been around others. Okay, bye.” Alan clicked off the phone. Austin looked up to me, seeing me lurk in the shadows. I ducked my eyes to meet him.

What had I just heard? They were obviously talking about me. Amounts is money. Money means business. She means me. Money and men means….

I was getting sold.

“Kynder.” Austin cleared his throat. I looked up to him for a moment as the other whipped around to face me. My throat was choked up. If I got sold, that meant that I could go to another time with more abuse and agony. At least here, Alan and Aaron had hadn’t been so bad.

“Yes, sir?” I whispered softly, ducking my head submissively and preparing for the worst. It never came.

“Did you sleep well?” He asked awkwardly. I could’ve sworn that his voice broke.

“Yes, sir.” I responded again. Those two words were all I said anymore. There was little variance. The silver chains around my neck seemed to pull the weight of the world on my shoulders. I was getting sold, I would be moving out, I wouldn’t be coming back here. There might not be any more Jack and Alex phone calls to think about, no more movie nights with Austin-

No. Nothing.

“Kyn, come here.” Alan commanded. I quickly limped over to his side. The muscles in my legs felt like they were lead every moment I lifted my leg. The skin hadn’t turned purple, but was lightly colored black and grey. Accents of lash marks covered my calves.

“Hold out your arms.” Alan said. I did as he said. He flipped them over to inspect the lashes that hadn’t quite healed. They were looking much better. Alan had stopped asking how my stomach was feeling after I had said, “Good, sir.” For the fifth time. He knew I wasn’t going to answer anything else.

I knew that if I answered any different, there would be consequences.

“They look better.” Alan murmured, gently tracing each red line. I flinched each time and squeezed my eyes shut. Aaron and Austin watched on in silence.

“Good. Kynder, you are to stay down here today, okay?” Alan told me. It was a command, but his face was soft and not rigid with anger. I nodded silently and stood still.

“Should I tell her?” Aaron asked Alan softly. Austin ducked away, looking suddenly interested his fingernails.

“Sure.” Alan responded with a look of misery. Aaron stared at me and I forced myself to hold the gaze without shaking in fright.

“Kynder, you’re being sold. Ronnie Radke is going to come by on Sunday to pick you up.” Aaron told me gently. I knew this was coming, but I tensed up. No, I don’t want another Master who would beat me each morning and every night! I must’ve looked distraught since Aaron looked down at me.

“Kyn, are you okay?” He asked softly. I glanced to Austin, who stared at me with tears filling his eyes. Somehow, from that one glance, I knew. I knew what he did.

Austin was the one that made the deal and sold me. He wanted me gone.

“Kyn?” Aaron repeated. Biting my lip nervously and forcing to keep my voice together.

No, no I’m not okay.

“Yes, sir.” I responded softly. I was heartsick and woebegone. I think my voice cracked because I could see Austin look away. Alan made a motion to excuse me from to the room.

He really wanted me gone. He didn’t want to see me again.

My heart was fractured before, but this statement pulverized it.

Notes

NO NO NO....AUSTIN STOP THIS IS A BIG MISTAKE!