|June 2014|

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I balled my knees up to my chest as I leaned against the chair next to the air vent, Comatose by Northlane blaring through my ears from the Beats headphones. We still had an hours’ time before we reach our destination.

I felt the air shift as he sat in front of me, legs crossed, a bowl of Ramen Noodles in hand. I removed the headphones to hang around my neck and took the fork and ate a bite.

“How ya feeling?” he asked.

“What’s there to feel? You forced me here.” David chuckled.

“I didn’t force you. I just want you to be okay.” His smile faltered as he stared at me. I took a deep breath.

“Honestly, I’ve been worse.” I could feel the vibrations as the song changed to Genesis.

“So, you took my Beats.” I shrugged my shoulders. “It’ll get better. It always does.” And with that, he got up and left the back lounge. The song once again changed to I Shook Hands With Death and I just lost it. I buried my head in my knees and cried.

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I laid in the bunk, just thinking about how this summer is going to be. It’s been the first time in a while I’ve been away from Beau. After the….accident, and that one week away, I couldn’t be separated from him. I had to be near someone otherwise I would lose my sanity.

I panicked and had cut all my ties from my old life. I haven’t seen Austin since that hospital visit.

Miley packed her stuff and moved in with her boyfriend, Oli, in Sheffield UK. Ryan nailed himself in jail and afterwards moved across the country to be with his brother.
Kyle left to be a father.

David and Lynzie had called quits on their relationship and she moved back to Colorado.

David and I sold the house in L.A and I moved in with Beau. David moved in Luis, one of his band members.

And now, here I am on tour with him. Of course I have no band to tour with anymore. He brought me along because he was worried for my sake. Beau wanted me to go because he was worried about my health.

So here I am, Warped Tour 2014. David wouldn’t let me see who was playing this year. All I know is that Taylor will be there and that’s about it.

“David,” I whispered to the bunk below me. I heard him roll over and grumble.

“Yeah.”

“Do you think there’s any way we can move past? Will we ever move back to L.A. What’s going to happen after Warped?” I asked all at once. I didn’t think things would be like this.

In the beginning, I always thought it would be Austin, Matthew, and I.

Not Austin and Emily, Beau and I, Matthew and Max live in heaven. I knew God and I have strange relationship, especially because majority of my life, I didn’t know what to believe in. but now that I do, I didn’t think he would do the unimaginable and take away my only child.

A child that I wasn’t ready to have, but was prepared to love.

“I don’t know. Life is just going to have to play out and we’ll figure out then.”

Notes