|June 2014|

Garret snuck me back on David’s bus later that day and gave me enough time to grab clothes and shower on the TWA’s bus (Of course after promising to hang with Telle) and ran to make it on time to the merch selling.

“Cohuetta! You can go!” I called to him as I ran for my dear life. I saw his smile widen as he got up and ran to me, meeting me half way for a hug.

“Oh thank God! The torture!” I took a seat next to Adrian and held a high face because in about two hours, I would see Beau and everything will be right.

“You’re awfully happy for someone who went missing last night. Is everything okay?” Adrian asks as he cuts open another box of Breathe Carolina muscle-tees.

“Yeah. I just had a talk with someone who actually understands. I’m going to start doing vocals if anyone needs them.” Adrian smiles.

“I’m glad you’re back on track.”

---

The heat started to become unbearable at the end of hour one. Our little fan barely could keep
up with the heat.

I prop up my legs on the table and leaned my head back, blowing air. Adrian handed me a pair of sunglasses and I took them, putting them over my eyes and closing my eyes, enjoying the small, pathetic fan breeze.

“What I wouldn’t do for Cohuetta's shift.” I felt a shadow stand over me, blocking the sun.

“How can I help you,” Adrian spoke.

“Hi, I’ll take a muscle tee, number 10 in an extra-large and my girlfriend.” I snap my eyes open.

“Beau?” I sit up, my feet getting caught in the table cloth and fell on the ground.

“Lights?” their voices rang. I curse myself and my dumbass feet before crawling under the table and to the other side, standing up and brushing the dirt off. Way to make that first impression.

I see Adrian handing Beau the muscle tee and next thing you know, arms were wrapped around me. instantly, I felt at ease. It was like being wrapped in a shelter blanket. I was thankful for the relief and release, because for once I wasn’t focused on my chronic sadness and discontent with my life.

“I miss you.” I mumble into his chest, tighten my tiny arms around his big frame.

“I miss you too.” I felt the weight of the t-shirt being placed on top of my head as he breaks away from the hug. His eyes bore through mine, grey versus blue and then, his lips are on mine.

“Come on guys. 20 year old, still here.” His kiss wasn’t as lustful and eager as I wanted it to be, but rather soft and as sweet as sugar. It made me crave him more. “Come on guys,” I lifted my arms, snaking them around his neck and entwining my fingers in the ends of his dark hair as I deepened the kiss by grazing his bottom lip with my tongue. He granted me entrance to his mouth, and I explored as I wished. A moan surpasses Beau’s lip. “Oh this is fucking gross,” I heard the scrape of his chair. Beau smiles against my lips before pulling away.

“I don’t think I want to tour with Northlane.” He mumbles against my forehead before pecking my lips.

---

I continue writing down lyrics and random things that pop into my head and some random doodles. My feet were firmly placed in my brother’s lap while I leaned against my boyfriend like a pillow. His hand holding my free hand while his thumb traced circles, not once breaking the conversation he was having.

He was impatiently bouncing his leg, his free hand resting on top of his knee and his fingers drumming a beat on it. To this, I couldn’t help but crack a small smile. I thought the action was cute, he wants us to be alone. I chuckled and stopped writing.

Beau turned to me and interlocked our eyes, his gaze intent on mine. His cloud-grey eyes seemed to stare straight past the surface of my ice-blue ones, looking farther into me than he should for someone who doesn’t want sex; a thought that I couldn’t begin to fathom. He broke the stare by looking down at my lips, then back to my eyes, before laughing in time with a joke then back to Luis.

After everyone went to bed, I still remained in the couch, playing the guitar while Beau sat next to me, going crazy over some game.

Crazy basketball fanatics.

“Beau, seriously, shut up, I’m trying to write,” I grumble while sitting up some so I can give the guitar more room, but Beau bounces all over the couch.

“Go in the back,” he says, not taking his eyes off the TV. The louder I play, the louder he turns the TV up.

“I would, but everyone is asleep!”

“Not my-SCORE‼!” I sigh in defeat and throw the guitar on the other couch, throwing my notebook down and going to my bunk. All I ask is for quiet when I do get the inspiration and I can’t even do that.

I throw off my shirt and pants and exchange them for some panties and a tank top before climbing under the thin blanket of the bunk. I sigh and cozy myself in when I felt his presence behind me.

“I have a feeling I know who you wrote that song about.” He said in a sad voice. I didn’t respond. “Come on, I’m sorry.” He mumbled into the back of my neck.

“You should be.” He pressed his lips into my hair before combing his fingers through it. I turned around to snuggle up to his chest, sighing and running a finger down his bare chest. I want Beau, I want him in the most romantic way possible. “Remember how we first met? Before Warped?” I asked.

“While at a Taking Back Sunday concert, I asked a friend of yours, Lynzie, if we could meet. I guess it really didn’t go far.” His finger started tracing the back of my arms. “What does that even mean? What language is that even in?”

“It’s Latin for Now and always have the blessing of the father and remain blameless until the end. I got it after my dad died.” He lifts the bottom of my shirt and traces my ribcage, already having the tattoo memorized. His fingers traced the flawless cursive permanently etched into my skin.

“In this fearsome pilgrimage unearth a crusader’s heart,” He sits up a little to meet my gaze.

“What if I were to tell you, I am writing a song about my undeniable love for you?”

“I would tell you not to waste your time.” I climb over his lap so I was straddling his hips. I ran a hand through his hair, admiring every single feature on his face.

“What if I were to tell you, that one day, I want to have kids with you and I want you to be my wife one day?” he leans in and presses a kiss to my neck

“I would tell you not to get your hopes up.”

“What if I told you, you had no choice and that we’re going on a date on my last day here?” I giggle at his tactics. That’s another thing that attracted me to him, his sense of humor and his big commitment of never giving up (on anything. *Cough cough* basketball even though I can beat his ass at it).

“Then I would say, I have no choice, apparently,” I bit my lip as his hands traveled up my shirt, the coolness of his hands feeling like fire against my skin.

His eyes roamed over every aspect of my body, throwing my shirt down, out of the bunk. He leaned in until our lips were inches apart before trailing his hand down, his fingers feeling like feathers as they lightly go down to my hips, where they rested.

No matter how many times he touches me, it’ll always feel like the first. The first kiss, the first time we held hands, and it ignites something deeper inside me each and every time.
My breath hitched in my throat as I let my hands grip at his hair. His lips touched mine ever so lightly. His touch drives me crazy, it makes me feel like I still have one thing anchoring me down to this world.

“Beau,” I whispered against his lips. I could feel his arousal growing against my inner thigh and it only made mine grow.

“I want you,” he whispers. He leaves a trail of kisses down my neck while his hands work at unclasping my bra. I moan at the relief of the straps coming undone. “And I don’t think I can wait anymore. I’m going to make the most of my time here. I’ve waited ten months and I won’t wait another,” As his lips attack mine in slow, soft, open mouth kisses, his fingers work delicately to pull my panties down, never once breaking the contact of our lips.

I let my shaky hands slide down his boxer briefs, feeling his shoulders relax without the waistband restraining him. He stopped kissing me to move his mouth over to the side of my neck, close to my ear as he breathed heavily. I sit up ever so lightly and literally gasp at his size.

Beau chuckles at me, and uses his hands to lift me up. Grabbing his size, I lower myself onto him. I tipped my head back at the feeling, letting out a soft moan before he put his hands on my hips and I started to move up and down. I started off soft and slow, before Beau started to rock his hips to meet mine.

I felt his fingernails dig into my hips as a reaction to the pleasure, and the feeling of the slight pain mixed with how amazing he felt was overwhelming and tipped me closer to the edge.

“Lights,” he moans, sliding his shaky hands up to cup my face as he pressed a sloppy kiss on my lips. “I’ve told you once, but I’ll say it again, I love you,” He rolled over so he was hovering over me and I took the time to stare into his eyes. They twinkled with a brightness that was never there. “I love you Elizabeth ‘Lights’ Summer Schmitt and I want you to know that.” I didn’t respond, only letting my fingers tangle in his hair.

He placed gentle kisses alongside my neck as he slowly pushed his way inside of me. A small gasp escaped my lips as my fingertips dug into his shoulders.

“Beau,” I whisper, digging my nails a little deeper. “You’re wrong about who’s the song about.” I turn my head, but his fingers were placed under my chin to turn my head to face him, never once wavering his pace. “Keeping my eyes on you, because you’re who I wrote the song about,”We said nothing. He buried his head in the crook of my neck, lacing our fingers together and pressing them down on the mattress.

Got me on my toes,

Notes