Dear Austin...

When I finally woke up, there was a pain in my side, but other than that, I felt drowsy. The room I was in was a quaint little hospital room with Winnie the Pooh wallpapers. That was my favorite cartoon as a little kid. I still loved it, even then. Pictures of 'relaxing' scenes were hung around the room. But they couldn't hide the machines I was hooked up to.

On attempting to move my arms, I found them near impossible to move. The sedatives I was hooked to were keeping me drowsy and not moving. The room was devoid of life, even through my drugs I could see that.

The bandage around me was constricting, but at the sound of a door opening, I turned my head to the noise, hoping to see a certain person. Instead, a doctor in blue scrubs walked in.

"I see you're awake." He noted cheerily. Pulling a chair around, he checked the readings on the monitor and asked a few questions about the pain, how I was doing, and any other little details. I answered them, but as he left, I couldn't help but want him, and my family.

The door opened up again. Three bodies poured through the door at once. They seemed to melt together and then separate. They instantly warmed the room up. Lily-Pearl was the first to come to my side and throw her arms around me. I winced a little but didn't complain. Although it took all my energy just to lift an arm, I ruffled her hair a little. With both hands, my little sister clasped my fingers. It was just like when she was a tiny child.

"R!" My mom was next to hug me tightly.

"Ouch mom." I sighed a little. She shook with the sadness at seeing me shot, and tenderly rubbed my cheek affectionately, to make sure I was still alive.

"I'm so glad you're better, Rae." My mother smiled through the red, puffy cheeks. Alan was the next to come up and gently wrap an arm around me in a semi-hug before letting Austin come over. For this, I managed to sit up.

"Rae, don't hurt yourself." He warned. I shook away the comment and winced as I pulled both arms up to wrap them around him. When he was as close to me as Austin could be, I dug my face into the side of his neck. I was alive, and so was he. This wasn't heaven, but reality.

"We're going to get food. We'll be back soon, okay Rae?" My mom asked. Alan and LP took my mom out of the room so Austin and I could be alone for a few minutes.

"Rae, you shouldn't be here..." Austin started. I could see where he was going with this.

"Austin, it's not your fault. I'm not dead, and the good news is, you aren't either." I told him. He pulled up the rolling chair that the doctor had used and sat next to me. His tall stature let him lean over so he rested his chin on his folded arms on the bed. His brown eyes started to tear my heart apart. He thought this should've been him.

"You shouldn't be in the bed right now." He broke out. I reached on hand over to stroke his cheek softly.

"I'm not dead. I'm just broken." I commented softly. His hand took my own and rubbed it with his thumb. I stared him dead in the eyes. We sat in silence for a moment.

"You're perfect in my eyes." He attempted to smile. The drugs in the medicine started to kick in again as the machine started another round of sleep. He stood up. My sleepy eyes followed him. Leaning over, he kissed me again. This spark was enough to wake me up again. One of his hands lightly stroked my cheek while the other supported him so he didn't hurt me. When he stood up finally, I started to feel another round of artificial sleep kick in.

"Austin don't leave." I begged him. He took a chair, pulling it up to the side of the bed and held my hand. I faintly remember asking him the same question before, when there was bright lights and lots of commotion. I didn't hear his answer last time.

"I never will, sweetheart." He pressed my hand against his cheek. I gave it a faint squeeze before falling fast into a deep slumber.

Notes

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