Forgive Me- Part 3

Amelia's POV

My heart shattered when I saw Jaime walk through those doors, when I saw him standing there with Cale defending me. But seeing him now, in front of me begging for forgiveness and I say no? I honestly have no idea why I just said no but almost out of nowhere my body filled with anger that I didn't know I had. How could he have done that to me? Why didn't he believe me? Why did he make me leave? I had to raise our children on my own; I had to explain to them why they didn't have a father. I had to live with the pain of knowing that no one would ever be good enough to fill the gaping hole that was left in my heart when he shattered it. He held the missing piece and it wasn't complete without him, but the fact that he made me, the fact that I was forced to live with that pain, the constant sadness and feeling that something was missing. I just couldn't forgive him. But looking at him, the sadness in his eyes as he pleads; it almost seems real.

"Milly, I came to apologise, I came to beg you to come home but you were already gone" he says, voice breaking as he speaks

"What?" I manage to whisper

"I knew that I was being a fucking idiot and I wanted you back, so much. But I was about to head over when Vic called saying you'd run off... When I got there, there wasn't anything left. Except for the pregnancy test."

"You weren't supposed to see that. I thought I got rid of it..."

"Well you didn't, and I've spent the last four years looking for you and my kid, constant yelling at myself for being such a jackass" is he telling the truth? How can I trust this?

"Jaime-"

"Look" he says thrusting two photos into my hand. "That's how far I went to find you. I went to Australia, I went to Canberra, but you weren't there. You never fucking left San Diego. You've been here this whole time. But even though I knew that there wasn't anything I could do."

"You really did that?" I whisper, not looking up from the photos to meet his eyes.

"I was being an idiot mil, I know that. I never wanted you to leave, I was just scared and self-conscious, and despite everything we've been through I couldn't believe that you would actually want to be with me..."

I don't know what to say. I've been waiting four years to hear this and I have absolutely no idea what to say to him and even if I did I don't think the words would form in my mouth. I am shocked out of my mind by the shrill ringing I Jaime's phone. I think he is too because he just stares at it for a moment before answering.

"Hey man, now is not a great time" Jaime says into the phone. "Yea I'm here. Nah she's colouring. Okay I'll be there soon. See you"

"You should probably go." I whisper. I flicker my eyes up to meet his but regret it instantly. He looks completely broken.

"Milly please. Even if you don't love me anymore, even if you hate me with everything you are. Please let me be a part of their lives. Please"

I look at him for a long moment before letting out a long sigh. "I'll call you..." I say immediately making his eyes light up. He steps towards me and pulls me into a tight hug which I instinctively return.

"Thank you Milly. Thank you so much." He whispers into my ear making my pulse speed up. I hated that he could still do this to me. That after everything that's happened, everything he did I still want him. But do I really want to put myself through that again? What guarantee do I have that it's not going to happen all over again? And if it does happen again it's not just happening to me. Not anymore, we have two children to think about. Could I put them through that? I pull away and force myself to smile at him despite my endless worries.

"We should probably go get the kids. Plus it sounded like you needed to head off"

He looks disappointed at my words but nods without dispute and begins to walk towards the class room. When we enter the kids ignore me and immediate run to Jaime; I'm not going to lie, a pang struck through my heart when I saw him holding them. It was exactly how I imagined it to be. The image that I had always wanted is right in front of me and I am turning it away, closing myself off once again. How can I let myself do this?

Jaime says goodbye to Casey and Cale then unexpectedly turns to me once more. I knew what he was going to do but for some reason, I couldn't bring myself to pull away and now I am completely consumed by the feeling of his lips on mine. My arms automatically twine around his neck, pulling him closer. I need him, but he pulls away. I take a minute to compose myself and when I look at Jaime he has the biggest smirk on his face, as if he just won and honestly I think he did. He turns away from me slowly then takes Ruby's hand and leads her from the school, but not before throwing me one last glance and smirking when he realised how closely I was watching him.

The second he was out of eye shot I snapped back into reality and went to collect the kids. When I get over to them, Tess has a cheeky grin on her face.

"What?" I ask her

"You still have feelings for him"

"No, of course not" I reply a little too quickly.

"Oh yes you do! I saw that kiss. You so like him"

"Even so; I can't do anything about it"

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want a repeat of the past"

"You know... things are probably different now. You're both probably very different people than you used to be."

"I know."

"So why not try?"

"Because if things aren't different, and things happen again. Imagine how the kids would take it."

"But imagine how great it would be for them if things did work out"

I think about her words as I make sure the kids have everything they need to take home. Both of them are watching me like hawks. I know what they are hoping. They're hoping that their family will be whole and that Daddy will join our family and we'll all live happily ever after.


Sadly however, ever afters are harder to come by in real life than in fairy tales.

Notes

Here you go guys!! once again, I'm sorry at how slowly these are coming up and I will try to get it more constant. Please bear with me :)

Love you all!

xox