Forgive Me- Part 3

Amelia's POV

Should I call him? Will I even wait long enough for him to pick up this time? What will I say if I do? Screw it. I pick up my phone and dial a number that is imprinted to my mind. Like every other time I called however, the second it begins to ring, I start to freak out. Oh god why am I doing this?

"Hello?" The familiar voice asks. Oh god. No, I can't do this.

"Umm," is all I can say.

"Wait. Milly? Is that you? Where are you? I want to see you. Mil-" I hang up. Why did I even bother calling. I knew I wouldn't be able to speak to him. But he said he wanted to see me... Does that mean he doesn't hate me? Bloody hell! Why couldn't I just speak?!

My legs feel weak beneath me and I slide down the kitchen cupboard until I'm sitting on the floor. I miss him, so much. I need him back.

Tears being to flow from my eyes as memories of him flow through my head. The first time I saw him; dripping wet on the side of the road. The first time I slept with him and the way he didn't care in the slightest about my scars. When I first moved to San Diego and how being there with him immediately felt like I was home. Him helping me through the death of my father, not making the pain disappear but making it bearable. The night we conceived the two beautiful children I have today...

I suspected for a long time that I was pregnant. We had sex in Australia and it didn't occur to me until I started feeling queasy constantly that we didn't use a condom. I wasn't sure though so I didn't say anything. I wasn't drinking at the party because I did suspect that I was pregnant but it wasn't until I was staying with Vic and Mike and I couldn't keep anything down that I decided to go get a test. Surprise, surprise; it was positive.

Honestly I often wonder how things would be today if I hadn't ran. If I'd just been open and talked to Jaime about my suspicions. Would we still be together? Did I destroy what we had? Why didn't I just tell him from the start? None of this would have happened. This is all my fault.

The tears begin to flow faster and I'm struggling to hold in my sobs. I don't deserve to cry, not when it's my own fault.

"Mummy?" A soft voice calls from the doorway to the kids’ room.

"Yes?" I ask not looking up. I hate them seeing me like this. I need to be strong for them.

"Do you have an owie?" Cale asks as he wiggled his way into my embrace. "Do you want me to kiss it better?"

"That's very sweet of you honey, but you can't kiss this owie better"

"Why not?"

"Because it's my heart that's hurting."

"Because of Daddy?" I didn't even see Casey walk in. I just nod with a soft smile and open my arm for her to join us.

"Was he mean to you?" Cale asked

"No honey, I just miss him."

"Why don't you see him?"

"I don't know..." And I really didn't. Why, in four years did I never contact him? I always wanted to. Why don't I now? Why can I never bring myself to do what I really want to do? Why can't I just let myself be happy? I need him here. I need him to be with me, to help me raise our children; to love me like he used to. I just need him.

Notes

So this is finaly starting to pick up pace and stuff is starting to happen aka THEY'RE INTERACTING... kind of....

Any way, leave me some comments and such because I love hearing from you guys!!

Love you all!

xox