Wonderless ♡

"Well who is she?" I repeated as calmly as I could and he just stared at me, guilty

"Well if you're not going to answer that then atleast... Do you have a kid?"

We were both silent for a moment that seemed to last forever

"I can't say no" was all he said and I ran my fingers through my hair and stood up. My hands were shaking as I grabbed my phone

"Zoey wait" he pleaded

"I regret everything. I take it all back." Was all I said before I ran out with tears filling in my eyes.

I rarely cry, and definitely never over a boy. This was fucking bullshit. I just wanted out. By the time I was outside he tried to call me, I ran to find Angelica before he could find me. I found her on the bus lying on Mike.

"Hey how was- woah what's wrong?" she asked giving me a hug as I cried in her arms "I need to leave"

"Okay let's go" she said as we walked quickly a few blocks away

I probably looked ridiculous crying in public hysterically.

We found a huge park and sat down on a bench as Angelica told me to take deep breaths. I took my time and wiped my eyes.

"Are you ready to talk?" she asked

"I fucking hate boys" I complained and she smiled and put her arm around me

We sat in silence for about half an hour when I started to calm down, I looked at her and she just smiled like she always did, making me feel comfortable.

"I read his emails, which I know is stupid and invading his privacy, but they were from a girl and she was talking about a baby. When I asked Vic he said he couldn't say it wasn't his" I frowned"and I just had to find out after we slept together and I said I wanted to be his girlfriend"

"Ah, Mike briefly told me about that" she said "apparently it was a one night stand and she's known to lie and be a little bit crazy. Vic doesn't believe it could be his so he kind of ignores it"

"I wouldn't care if he had a child, I just wish he'd tell me before we dated" I said

"I know babe, it's fucked up" she frowned "so what are you going to do?"

"I wanna be the way I was. Not giving two fucks and just having fun, not having feelings anymore" I said

"Then we'll go out tonight just you and me" she smiled "we'll look hot and I'll make sure Vic isn't around"

I smiled a little "really?"

"I know it'll make you happy" she said as her phone vibrated and she got up and answered so I was out of hearing distance

When she came back, she sat down beside me again "so game plan. We'll go when the guys are about to go onstage so they won't see us"

"Okay" I said "sounds good"

"And you can drink and kiss me as much as you like" she added and I laughed

We stayed out until about 6pm then we went back to the bus and got dressed up, by 8 we were out and about trying to find a good club. The last one we got to at about midnight and I was on the dance floor with Angelica when to my surprise I saw Alex.

We all hugged and Angelica said she was going to get a drink. I was going to follow her when Alex took my hand and shouted over the music "Mike's here!"

"Oh okay!" I yelled back

We were dancing with his arms around me when he suggested we go to a booth and I agreed. We went to the back and sat down together and started making out. Finally, I was starting to feel like my old self again. I knew it wouldn't last.

I checked my phone to see a few missed calls from Vic and a message from Ange saying she was heading off with Mike, but that Alex will look after me. I smiled and showed Alex the message and he winked at me and smiled.

I was having fun with Alex and drowning the depression with alcohol until 2.30am.

"Wanna get out of here?" Alex asked and I nodded.

The fresh air felt so good after being in a stuffy warm club. Alex had to hold my hand because I couldn't walk straight, even then I still fell down anyway. We got to the hotel and Alex had to carry me to the bed because my heels were killing my feet.

"They weren't lying when they say you go hard" he laughed

"Fuck being soft!" I said in my drunken-loud way

"Alright you should get some sleep" he said

"But I don't wanna" I complained "I need luuuurvin'"

"Loving?" he grinned

"Oh my god Alex, I need it soooo bad" I exclaimed "like when I'm on my own my loins are like ALLLLLLLEX! ALLLLEX!"

He shushed me by giving me kisses but I kept talking.

"I'll do anything you want, like anything, except butt stuff I don't like that" I said lying down and trying to make a bed starfish with my arms and legs

"I'm pretty sure if we have sex, that's me taking advantage of you" He said

"Nah it's good" I said nodding and undressing myself "guys tell me all the time I have a great body"

I'm not going to lie. I did some embarrassing things that night whilst being intoxicated. Basically everything.

Alex and I were kissing on the bed when his hand was on my breasts.

"Fuck me" I said quietly

"Oh I want to" he laughed

"Alex I've been in love with you for a very long time. I need to do this for science and my personal satisfaction" I said and he grinned "well you are pretty hot"

"Exactly" I pouted "Come on, like all your songs are about sex"

"Hey, not all of them" he argued "some are about partying"

I started to rub his shaft until he gave in and slept with me.

I woke up with Alex spooning me, and trying to remember what happened. Honestly I couldn't remember it well because I was basically numb all over. I could remember kissing him though, I felt like it was an achievement in a video game and know I've unlocked something really awesome.

Even though being with Alex made me happy, I started to feel guilty. I started thinking about Vic and sighed, reaching for my phone. He left me a text at 4am.

"I was stupid to think a girl like you could fall for a guy like me"

I bit my nail and turned to Alex as he woke up.

"Hey" I said "I hope this doesn't ruin our friendship"

He shook his head "I only sleep with girls who I think can handle it, no dramas"

"So did Ange call you last night?" I asked

"She said to come out because you were going too" he said "and well I had no plans, who wouldn't go out with a babe"

I smiled "you're not like the other guys I've slept with"

"I'm a great man, a sensitive man" he said putting his hands behind his head

"Do you ever plan to settle down?" I asked

"Not yet, I haven't met that girl that changes everything" he said "but one day I'll have to grow up"

I felt like Vic was that person for me. He made me want to stop fooling around and behave. What the fuck have I done?

I got dressed and gave Alex a hug before leaving his hotel room. I went down the street and got myself a hot chocolate before returning to the tour bus. I changed into comfortable clothing and tried to call Vic but he didn't answer which had me nervous.

How the heck was I going to explain to him that I slept with Alex in a I-wanna-piss-you-off way?

"Zoey" I heard and turned to see Jaime

"Hey" I smiled as he gave me a hug

"I was just out the back practicing guitar, uh can I talk to you?" he asked

I was surprised at first "of course"

"I know boys are shit" he said and I smiled "but Vic will try really hard to make you happy. Like looking at him now, well minus last night, he hasn't been this happy I don't think ever"

"What do you mean?" I asked

"Vic was really depressed a few years ago, he's much better now, kind of content, but then you came and he's kind of blossoming into this flower" he said and I laughed "really that's what you're going to say?"

"I can't think of another word for blossoming into this flower" he smiled "my point is, he feels horrible for yesterday, I think he even cried on stage last night"

I immediately frowned

"but Jessica is a psycho bitch, and Vic is too nice to tell her to fuck off" he said "I'm telling you now either that so called child isn't real or isn't Vic's"

"I just think if you tell someone you wanna be in a relationship mentioning this situation would have been pretty crucial to discuss" I said

"I think from Vic's point of view, he didn't want to unless it was confirmed his" he said and I nodded

"I understand you're pissed off, but he'll talk to you about it if that's what you want" he said

"I just tried to call him but he must be asleep" I said

"I think Mike slept in his room with him last night" Jaime said "I'll give him a call"

I sat there daydreaming and thinking until Jaime got off the phone

"Vic's asleep, he just had a bad night as you'd probably know" he said

"Well not really" I said and he looked at me confused

"I slept with Alex" I said

"Everyone sleeps with Alex" Jaime said rolling his eyes "how was it?"

"I couldn't feel anything I was numb from... Nothing" I smiled

"Oh Zoey" he laughed "so what are you going to do?"

"I think I need to meet Jessica and find out for myself" I said "should I go talk to Vic?"

"Hm, I think you should, but he'll tell you not to get involved with her" he said

I sighed deeply as my phone rang, I was hoping for Vic when I saw Mom's name instead.

"Hi Mom" I said as Jaime gave me some privacy

"Hello darling" she said "I hope you're alright"

"I'm great" I lied "miss you alot"

"Oh we miss you too" she said "just wanted to call to see if you could send a message for me"

"..Like a text message? Mom we're been over this, there's a little send button"

"No, no! A personal message to Victor" she said

"What? Why?" I asked

"We received some lovely flowers from him the other day, I forgot to call then" she said

"Oh he sent you flowers?" I said

"Your father was jealous it was from my secret admirer, but the card wrote to us both which he was happy about" she laughed "please tell him thank you"

"That's great Mom" I smiled "I'll uh let him know for you"

"Okay. Stay safe. Love you"

"Love you too, let Dad know I said hello" I said

"Of course, bye now"

"Bye"

I hung up my phone and ran my hair through my fingers. I had to go talk to Vic.

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