Darling, you'll be okay

The blood rushed down the drain. The pain sent adrenaline through my body. The razor fed my addiction. All I wanted was to feel.

"Lena!" My mother knocked on the door.

"Just a minute!" I screamed back. I scrambled to get dried off and dressed. I threw a long-sleeve hoodie on to cover the scars. I reluctantly opened the door. "Yes mom?"

"Lena, it's time to go," she glanced down at my clothing choice. "It's spring. Do you really wanna wear a hoodie?"

"I'm cold-natured, you know that," I lied. My mother would have a fit if she knew that I sliced my wrists open. I could imagine the pain written all over her face.

She rolled her eyes, but did not argue with me. We were going to be late to my little brother's baseball game if we didn't hurry. Rylee would not be happy about that. Baseball is a passion for him.

I was the only one wearing black. And the only one with long-sleeves. "Emo!" Some kid cried out as I walked past. Wow. What an ignorant little bastard.

One of my brother's friends stopped me as I sulked away from the rude kid. He was about 8, the same age as my brother.

"Don't listen to him," my brother's friend said, "my sister had those marks on her wrist too." I looked down and realized that my wrist was exposed. "Mom told me that Mandy went on a long vacation. She said Mandy was happy where she is. Mom says that people with those marks are angels and that sometimes they get to go home sooner than everyone else. They get to go see God and the other angels first! She said that's where Mandy is. And one day, I get to see her again! I can't wait to see her again. But please promise me you won't go on vacation anytime soon. I like you. And Rylee wouldn't want me to tell you this, but he likes you too."

For several nights, I thought about what that little boy had said. Thomas was a wise little kid. And it almost stopped me from slashing my wrists, but the numbness was too much, and the pain made me feel relieved. I regret letting Thomas down. Every day. But this was not something I could control.

And so the blood ran down the drain once more.

Notes