Call Me Crazy (Tony Perry/OC)

Olivia’s Point of View
I had practically been on my own this entire week. Mom was engulfed in work and didn’t realize I had been lying miserably on the couch for the past three days. Sierra had called me a few times and came over once she realized I was hiding something from her. I didn’t end up telling her though.
She ended up telling me I was being selfish and that I should just tell her so she could help me if I needed it. She pestered me with a thousand questions, like if I had been eating, if I was suicidal, if someone died, everything. I said no to all of them obviously and she got angry and left.
I had been doing absolutely nothing for the past week and I had barely left the house. I left once or twice to do groceries but that was it. I hadn’t heard from Tony, and I wasn’t completely sure if we had broken up or not, and I don’t know if I was going to hear from him again. I was slightly worried that he just left after that, but I was also worried at what he was going to suggests we do. Break up, abortion, adoption?

Tony’s point of view
I feel terrible; I haven’t seen or heard from Olivia since I had freaked out when she told me she was pregnant which was three days ago. I haven’t been able to eat, I haven’t been able to sleep, and I was terrified. I wanted just to hold her in my arms and tell her it’s okay, and tell her I love her, and show her how much I did. I was terrified of what she could do to herself of the baby. I know that she’s had thoughts like that before, and she had told me that she hadn’t had them in years. I was on my way over there right now. It was raining, but I still decided to walk. I had thrown a beanie over my head, and pulled my hood over top of it, shoving my ear buds into my ears.
When I had gotten to Olivia’s place, I saw that her bedroom light was on, and her moms car was gone, probably because it was noon on a Monday, so she was probably at work. I knocked on the door, hoping that it was loud enough to hear.
I heard shuffling coming from the living room, and it sounded like footsteps trudging towards the door. I watched the door, waiting, hoping the Olivia would open it. I saw the curtains beside the door move a bit, revealing a little bit more than half her face in the window. The curtain fell back to how it was, and I heard the lock on the door unlatch. The door opened slightly, only enough to reveal half her face. The deadbolt was still hooked so that was as much as it allowed opening.
Her face was blank and I could tell by her swollen eyes that she had been crying. She was wearing sweatpants and a camisole with a black cardigan over it.
“What do you want,” She sneered, her expression still blank.
“I want to talk to you, please,” I pleaded. I shifted my weight from foot to foot, hoping she would abide.
False hope is the worst type, though. She shut the door. I turned around and started walking down the front steps when I heard it open again.
“Don’t leave,” She scoffed. “I was unlocking the deadbolt,” She turned around, leaving the door open. I hopped back up the steps and hurried inside. I slipped off my hood and shoes, and followed her into the living room. She sat on the couch, and her knees were pulled into her chest. I felt my heart ache when I saw how upset she looked.
“How are you?” I asked, quietly.
She let out a spurious laugh. “How am I? Do you want my honest answer?” Her lips were pressed in a thin straight line. “I—I’m a fucking mess,” She pulled at the sleeves of her cardigan uncomfortably. “I don’t know what I’m doing.” She looked towards the ceiling as a tear welled up in her eye and fell quickly down her cheek. She wiped it quickly, probably hoping I wouldn’t see it. But I did, I could see it before it was even there.
She looked back down towards the ground, wiping the last of her tears before she let out a sigh. “I haven’t told my mom yet. I’ve barely talked to her. Or talked to anyone, in that matter,”
I nodded slightly, keeping my lips closed. My expression was straight—I was hoping.
“So, why’d you come here?” She stuttered. I felt my stomach drop.
“I missed you,” I shrugged. In my head I could picture it, a blush creeping up on her face, a smile on her lips and her saying that she missed me too.
Like I said, false hope is the worst type.
“Are you kidding me?” She let out another laugh and stood up. “Last time you were here, you just got mad and left. I wasn’t even sure if we were breaking up or not; you just fucking left! After everything! I told you fucking everything, and you fucking left! Do you know how that made me feel?” I didn’t know what to say or do—so I just looked down.
“Yeah, exactly. I felt like shit. I felt stupid. I felt used,” She yelled. “I felt... so fucking worthless,” I felt my heart shatter into a million pieces when I heard those words leave her mouth. “Do you know how worthless I felt?” She pulled up the sleeves of her cardigan to show a mass of red lines covering her skin, the skin white around them. The wrist that didn’t have the carvings on it was bruised.
I looked at her bruised wrist and pointed to it. “Did I do that?” I whispered.
“The day after you promised,” She bit her lip and looked down. “After you promised no one would ever lay a hand on me,”
“I—I’m so fucking sorry, for everything, I love you so much, pregnant or not, and I don’t want you to ever feel worthless ever again,” I felt tears fill up my eyes and I know she saw them because I saw her pull her sleeve back down as if she almost regretted that she showed me. I stood from my spot, stepping towards her and I wrapped my arms around her almost as tight as I could. I felt her arms wrap around my waist and her face was tucked into my chest, just like it was supposed to be.
I pressed my face against the top of her head, feeling her tears soak into my shirt. I kissed the top of her head, over and over again.
“I love you so fucking much,” I heard her choking up and it broke my heart even more.
“I love you just as much,”

**

An hour later, I was sitting on the couch with Olivia’s head in my lap, my hand running through her hair. We were watching a movie, but I hadn’t bothered paying attention to it. I was paying attention to her.
“I have to tell my mom still,” She muttered, breaking the silent with a sigh.
“We can tell her later tonight, if you’d like,” I offered.
“Okay, she doesn’t get home for another hour,”
“That’s fine, just more time I get to spend with you,” I leaned down pressing a kiss against her lips. I heard her quietly giggle as she kissed back.
“You’re so cute,” She giggled.
We finished watching whatever we were watching, and then we put on Star Wars. I love this girl so much.
An hour and a half into the movie, Liv’s mom opened the front door and came inside. “Olivia! I’m home!” She walked into the living room and saw us on the couch. “Aw, you guys are so cute! Stay like that, I need a picture of this!” She ran back towards the kitchen and came back a minute later and took a picture of us lying on the couch how we had been for the past few hours.
“What’s for supper?” Livi asked, when her mom sat down on the couch across from us. I felt her tense up, so I squeezed her hand, reassuringly.
“I was thinking we could order pizza,” She shrugged. “Would Tony be staying too?” I didn’t say anything, but I saw Olivia nod so there’s that, I guess.
“Okay, well, I’ll go order it now, it should be here in about half an hour.” She got up with her phone and went to the kitchen, dialing the number and placing the order.
I squeezed her hand again, and she looked up at me. I sent her a smile and she blushed, looking back at the TV. Her mom went upstairs to her room and we stayed downstairs. Fifteen minutes later, Olivia’s mom came back downstairs out of her work uniform.
We finished the first Star Wars movie, so we started the second. Not long into it, the doorbell rang and Mary was calling us for supper. We sat at the table and I could tell Olivia was getting nervous again.
We each had a slice of pizza on our plate and we had started eating. After about fifteen minutes, Livi put what was left of her slice down on her plate.
“Mom,” She started, I could hear the anxiety in her shaky voice. “I have something I have to tell you,” She squeezed her eyes shut and I grabbed her hand.
“Yeah?” Her mom asked, confused.
“I’m pregnant,” Olivia blurted out. She looked at her mom who looked back at her in shock, almost choking on her food.
“You’re what?” Her moms voice raised slightly, and very tense.
“I’m pregnant,” Olivia whimpered, her voice quiet. She sniffled, taking in a deep breathe through her nose.
“What are you going to do?” Voice lowered once again, Mary asked.
“I’m not completely sure. I’m almost positive that we would have so much trouble raising he or she on our own but we haven’t talked about our plan yet,” She bit her lip looking down. “I was thinking about getting an abortion,” She whispered.
That’s when I choked on my food. “You what?” I butted in, turning my head to look at Olivia who was still facing down.
“I don’t know,” Olivia mumbled, not looking at me.
“We’re not going to abort him or her. We can’t do that,” I shook my head. I saw her eyes welling up with tears.
“I’ll leave you two to discuss this, but that does not mean that this conversation is over,” Her mom said, calmly before taking our plates off the table and bringing them to the kitchen.
“What are we supposed to do? I can’t raise a child; I’m not even 18, yet!” She cried. “I still live with my parents! I only just have enough to move out, yet!” She covered her face with her hands and I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into my chest. She curdled into my chest, her hand gripped firmly on my t-shirt.
“I’m going to help you,” I whispered, resting my chin on her head. “I have money saved up, I’m positive you can stay here still while we plan everything out, don’t worry about it,” I hushed her, rubbing circles in her back. She pulled away after a minute or so.
“Olivia, I see that you’re upset, so I guess Tony can stay the night. But I mean it when I say no funny business,” Her mom said sternly. We went upstairs after a few minutes went by and Olivia and I changed into pajamas.
She crawled into bed, almost instantly slouching into the pillows. I laid beside her, facing inwards, towards her. She tilted her head up, looking at my face. She tucked her arms under her head, her cut wrist facing upwards. I lightly brought my hand up and ran a finger over the jagged, swollen lines. I felt her tense up and took in a rapid breath.
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered. She nodded, trying to convince me that it was okay, but it wasn’t. “No, it’s not” I shook my head. Sitting up, I looked over to the wall where a picture of us together from two years ago on the beach hung on the wall. “I hurt you, and I made you hurt yourself, it’s not okay.” I quivered.
She sat up beside me. “I forgave you. All you have to do now is forgive yourself.” She sighed, lying back down, turning to face the wall to go to sleep. I laid back down, flat on my back and faced the other wall.
I didn’t get much sleep that night.

---

When I woke up the next morning, after my nearly sleepless night, I noticed that Olivia wasn’t in bed. I pulled the blankets off of me, and changed into my clothes and out of my pajamas. I walked downstairs where I saw her sitting on the couch, wrapped up in a blanket, looking at the TV with a blank expression.
“Good morning,” I said, yawning, as I sat beside her. She smiled and lifted the blanket over me so we were both underneath. “How’d you sleep?”
“Okay,” She shrugged. She leaned over, wrapping her arm around mine and leaned her head against my arm. “Got sick this morning, twice,” She muttered.
“I’m sorry, baby,” I whispered, kissing the top of her head.
Mary walked into the living room, putting in one of her earrings. “Have you told your mother yet, Tony, that Olivia’s pregnant?” She asked.
“Not yet,” I said, shrugging.
“Well, tonight I was thinking we should go out to dinner and tell her, just the three of us and your mom,” She suggested. I nodded and so did Olivia. “I’ll call her just to confirm,” She walked out of the living room and back into the dining room.

---

At around 2pm, I went home and we were meeting up at a restaurant called Baci Ristorante. It was supposed to be very fancy, so I had laid out a pair of dress pants and a dress shirt. Olivia told me she had picked out a dress from her closet. I made sure my mom knew too.
When we got to the restaurant, we met up with Olivia and her mom when we entered. We were seated at a table in the corner of the room, by a window. It was dark outside, but there were fancy lights up and down the street.
I was sitting beside Olivia and our parents were sitting on the other side of the table. We talked for a bit and ordered our drinks when the waitress came over. When she came back with our drinks we ordered our food.
When the food got here, fifteen minutes later, we started talking.
“We have something to tell you,” I said, sitting up, taking Olivia’s hand in mine. No one noticed because they were under the table. “Olivia’s pregnant,”
I looked at my mom who quickly swallowed her bite of food and coughed. “I’m sorry, what?” She stated sternly.
No one said anything, we just kept looking at her. “You’re fucking kidding me right?” She let out a forced laugh. “She’s not even an adult yet! You’re both still living with your parents! What were you two thinking!” She yelled. The restaurant went quieter, only my moms voice audible.
“Now, now, Claudia, I know it’s upsetting but—“ Olivia’s mom tried to reason with her before she cut was cut off.
“No, this is not upsetting, this is outrageous! You better be kidding!”
I looked over at Olivia who had tears running down her face and was looking down. I looked back towards my mom to see her face still red.
“How did I know this was going to happen,” She muttered. “Such a slut, knew it from the start,” She said even quieter. I stood up out of my chair.
“Don’t you dare fucking call her that,” I seethed, my teeth girtting together. “She’s not a fucking slut,”
“Don’t come home tonight,” She seethed back. “Or ever,” She grabbed her coat and her purse, throwing out a couple twenties for dinner. “Thanks for dinner by the way,” She spat, leaving the restaurant.
I sat back down at the table in shock of what just happened. I felt Olivia grab my hand that was gripping the side of my seat.
“You can stay at our house for as long as you need, Tony,” Olivia’s mom said. I muttered out a thank you,quietly as a waiter came by to see if everything was okay. “Everythings fine, thanks. Could I get the bill please?”
After we got the bill, we went back to Olivia’s house, in her moms car. “I can bring you over tomorrow to pick up some of your stuff if you want,” She whispered in my ear, in the car on the way back. I just nodded.
Olivia’s Point of View
I knew that Tony’s mom never liked me in the beginning, but I didn’t know she hated me that much. I felt so bad for Tony, though; he no longer had a place he could really call home.
“Is it alright if I go take a shower?” He asked quietly, running his hand through his hair. I nodded and made sure he knew where the towels were, even though he probably already did, seeing as he’s been here a thousand times before.
After Tony got into the shower, I pulled out a book that I hadn’t completely finished and started reading it from the beginning again. I heard a quiet welping sound coming from the bathroom and when I went closer to the door, I realized that Tony was crying which tore my heart in two.
I didn’t know what to do, so I just stood there until I heard the water turn off. I ran back towards the bed and pulled the blankets back down after I changed into pajamas. I laid down in bed face down, and sighed as my muscles relaxed.
I heard the door open back up and I heard Tony slowly walk towards the bed. I felt his side of the mattress weigh down, so I knew that he had either sat down, or laid down. I lifted my head and looked over and saw him sitting at the edge of the bed with his elbows on his thighs and his hands blocking the sides of his face.
I scooted over and sat beside him. He looked over and took one of his arms and wrapped it around me, pulling me closer. I leaned my head into his shoulder with my arms around his waist.
“I heard you crying in this shower,” I whispered. I noticed that after I had mentioned that, he looked away, and towards the floor. “It’s okay, I’ve cried nearly every day in the shower for the past week,” I let out a huffed laugh.
“I honestly don’t know what I’m supposed to do now,” He looked back over. “I feel so lost—like I don’t have a home, like I don’t have a place I belong. It doesn’t even feel right to breathe, right now. I don’t want to and I don’t know what to do.” He put his face back into his hands and went into the same position as before.
“I-I didn’t tell you this, but it’s happened a few time in the past while, before I found out I was pregnant,” I picked at my fingernail nervously. “I, uh, the other day when I showed you my, uh, arm...” I trailed off looking towards the ground. I felt Tony shift uncomfortably beside me. “It wasn’t the first time in years, like I told you,” I blurted out fast, closing my eyes.
“What do you mean?” He said, sternly. I could hear him trying to steady his voice, trying to keep calm.
“I’ve cut more times than just the one time this week,” I pulled my feet up from leaning off the edge of the bed up to my chest. “I haven’t only been a mess this week, or the week before, Tony. I’ve been a mess almost my entire fucking life,” I whispered. I felt tears prick around my eyes. “When I told you I had stopped, I didn’t. I just told you that so you would quit asking,”
“It’s okay, if you’ve done it before. I understand, I have scars for the same reason. I’m not encouraging it, I’m just trying to say, that it does get bad, and it does get good. There is an in between; a balance between the two. You can chose to see more bad, or you can chose to see more good. I want you to know that I’m here for you,”
“I don’t know what I would ever do without you,” I whispered, wrapping my arms around his waist and pulling closer.
“Let’s go to bed, it’s been a long day,” He lifted me up and lightly put me down on my side of the bed. He pulled down the blankets and tucked me back under them. He did the same to himself and turned off the lamp on the side of the bed before wrapping his arms around my waist and falling asleep.

Tony’s Point of View

I woke up the next morning and realized that Olivia wasn’t there. I pulled the sheets off and walked downstairs, where I saw her lying on the couch, watching TV.
“Hey,” She said, yawning when she heard me coming.
“Good morning,” I smiled, sitting next to her. I started watching the same show as her and then I felt her tense up beside me. She stood up and ran to the washroom. I followed quickly behind her as she leaned over the side of the toilet and gripped the side of the bowl. I pulled her hair back into a pony tail with my hand and rubbed her back as she got sick.
“Fuck my life,” She whispered, coughing and hen spitting into the toilet. I flushed the toilet and grabbed a hair tie from the counter, and pulled the pony tail into it. She leaned back and I still had my arm wrapped around her back. “I hate this, why couldn’t you be the one carrying this child?” She complained. I laughed and stood her up and we walked to the kitchen.
“What time are we going over to my place?” I asked, trying not to sound nervous.
“Whenever you want,” She smiled. We sat back down on the couch. It was around 10 am, and my mom went to work around 9, so we could go anytime, and she wouldn’t be there.
“We should probably go around 11,” I said. Olivia nodded. She leaned her head on my shoulder and I pulled her closer to me by her waist. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and I pulled it out.
From: Vic
yo wanna practice today? you can bring your lady friend again if you want

To: Vic
eh i’ll see... shit went down yesterday at home and i have a bunch of shit to sort out, maybe around like 5 or 6 if that’s okay?

From: Vic
sweet that sounds great.. you don’t have to if you don’t feel up to it though, no pressure

I slipped my phone back into my pocket. Olivia wanted to go upstairs to get ready so I went with her and laid on her bed while she did. I watched her as she pulled on a pair of leggings and a baggy shirt to go over top. She put her hair up in a bun and did her makeup quickly. We went back downstairs and we grabbed her car keys and we headed to my house.
I’m not going to say I’m not nervous, but I’m terrified. It was a two minutes drive because I lived on the next street over. I knocked and after I was sure there was no one home, I opened the door and went inside.
We went upstairs to my room first and I grabbed clothes from my closet, shoving them into a suitcase. I cleared off my desk, throwing my belongings into the same suitcase and then zipped it up. I grabbed the rest of my stuff and put it into an old backpack for school.
The last thing I decided to pack was my guitars. I had two of them, and I shoved my miniature amplifier into my bag. I threw the backpack over my shoulder and grabbed a suitcase and one of the guitars. Olivia grabbed the other one and we started walking downstairs. I went into the laundry room and grabbed the rest of my clothes, and back into the living room. I took another look at everything around me before we left.
I wasn’t sure if I was just feeling guilty or not, but I wasn’t sure how much I was going to miss this place. I turned back and looked at the kitchen, where on a normal night, my mom would be coming through the side door, home from work and call my name and see if I was there. I would call back and tell her I was and then she would ask how my day was. We would have this short argument about what we would have for supper and then when it was over, we would let it drop and just eat what was made. I would make supper every second night, even though I wasn’t the best at it. We split up chores and stuff like that, just how we would if we were the same age and arguing because it wasn’t fair.
I turned back around and exited the house after Olivia and shut the door behind me. We went to the trunk and opened it, putting my stuff inside. I moved around to the passenger side of the van, and got in. We left my old house, and we went to hers.
When we got there, I grabbed as much stuff as I could carry, which was the same amount as I carried out of the house. Olivia grabbed the leftover stuff and we carried it inside into her room.
“So, what do you want to do for the rest of the day?” She asked, sighing and sitting on her bed. I sat down next to her and shrugged.
“Vic wanted to know if I could go over to practice and he offered that I could bring you but I don’t want to make you feel awkward again... I could tell you were last time,” I laughed.
“I didn’t feel awkward, I was so happy. I don’t know, just seeing you that excited and happy made me excited and happy. Is that weird?” She put her head on my shoulder and I wrapped my arm around her.
“That’s not weird at all, babe,” I chuckled. I nudged her softly to the side and she nudged me back.
“I don’t mind, I want to go,” She shrugged.
“Okay. What time do you want to go around?”
“Whenever is fine with me,” She looked up and smiled at me. God, I love her smile.
“Okay, I’ll text Vic and ask him.” I replied, leaning down and pecking her lips.

To: Vic
yo you still up for a practice?

From: Vic
yeah of course anytime is fine

To: Vic
okay sweet we’ll be over in 20

“Twenty minutes fine for you?” I asked. Olivia nodded. I got up, going to my guitar cases and making sure that I had my picks, capo, and other equipment that I needed. I grabbe the case and brought it downstairs. I brought it out into the van and waited for Olivia. When she got down, I took the keys from her, and got in the drivers seat. She sat down in the passenger seat, and did up her seatbelt. I started the van and buckled up, before I pulled out of the driveway. I stopped to get gas, because the tank was almost empty and I went in to pay.
I got back to the van and I drove us to Vic’s house, with the radio playing Fall Out Boy’s “Out From Under the Cork Tree” CD. When we pulled into the driveway, Dance, Dance came on, and knowing that that was Olivia’s favourite song, we sat in the driveway listening to it.
When the song was over, we got out of the van and went to the front door, holding hands. Olivia knocked with her free hand and Mike opened the door.
“Why did you guys just sit in the driveway instead of coming in?” his eyebrows rose.
“We were listening to Fall Out Boy,” I shrugged, laughing. He let us inside and we went downstairs to the basement where Vic was on his phone, sitting on the couch, listening to music.
“There’s no simple way to let you know, funny how she always cried out daddy, I got a big surprise she said, I’m in trouble now, and it cannot wait. She’s ten days late, boy, your life got complicated—oh hey, guys! Didn’t hear you come down,” He laughed, taking his feet off the table and standing up. He was singing the verse to a familiar song; Ten Days Late by Third Eye Blind. “Jaime should be here in a few,”
I felt the tension coming off of Olivia; she was obviously uncomfortable because of the song choice.
I heard her phone go off and she pulled it out of her pocket.
To: Olivia
Can you please go do some groceries so we can have chicken stir fry for dinner?
“Uh, my mom just texted me and I have to go, but text me when you’re done and I’ll pick you up after,” She nodded, speaking quickly.
“Are you sure?” Vic asked, looking up from his phone.
“Yeah, my mom wants me to pick up food for supper, so maybe if I’m done I’ll swing by for a bit later, but yeah, I have to go,” She said awkwardly, waving bye. She rushed up the stairs and a few seconds later I heard the door open and close.
“Is something up? She seemed really upset,” Mike asked, taking a seat on his stool by his drum set. He adjusted the snare and then the symbols.
“Yeah, its personal though, I don’t know if she wants everyone to know. Sorry,” I said, frowning.
“Don’t worry about it, I just hope she’s okay.” Mike said, shrugging.
“No, she’ll be okay, it’s just kind of hard, you know?” The brothers nodded and went on to setting up their equipment. I hooked my guitar up to Vic’s Marshall amp, that he had gotten recently. After that we had started practicing some of the songs we had left to record.
Olivia’s Point of View
I felt my hands get really sweaty against the steering wheel and I took one off to pull my hair out of my face. I had gotten all the groceries and I was on my way home, seeing as my mom was still out. I didn’t want her to see me this upset. I brought the groceries inside, putting them away quickly.
I went out to the backyard and grabbed a rock I found sitting on the ground. I picked it up, and threw it at the fence as hard as I could. I put my hands over my face and sniffled. I brought my hands back down and walked back into the house.
It was about I wrote a quick note, leaving it on the kitchen counter. It said:
Groceries are put away, I`m just gone to Sierra`s for a bit. I`ll be back sometime tonight, don`t wait up for dinner. Save some and I`ll eat it after
I went upstairs grabbing my phone charger and my wallet. I went back downstairs to the van and started driving. I plugged my phone in so I could listen to the music on it. I was listening to Of Mice and Men and no matter how loud their music got, it always had a way of calming me down.
Before I knew it, it was 7pm. I had left Vic`s at around 4, and left my house at 4:30. Did I know where I was? Nope. Did I care? Quite frankly, no. I had turned back a while ago, to head back home but I had got lost. I know that I’ve been here before; I just don’t remember how to get back. I pulled into a quiet parking lot of a busy restaurant, but off to the side, so that there was no one near my van. Locking the doors, I took off my seatbelt and moved into the back, where my pillows and blankets and emergency bag were for in case I slept in here.
I felt that feeling in my stomach that I was so familiar with, that it didn’t scare me anymore. It was the feeling of emptiness. I looked through my purse and found my makeup bag, which had my eyeliner sharpener in it.
I need this, I thought. I looked down at my phone and saw that Tony had texted me three times and called me six times. I had two texts from my mom and another 6 calls from her too. All the texts were them asking where I was, and if I was okay, and if I was safe.
I turned my phone off, throwing it back into the front, hearing it thud and hit the ground. I took a little took hit from underneath the seat, and found a screwdriver small enough. I twisted the little screw inside the sharpener and felt the cold metal fall into my hand after a minute. I threw the screw to the side, and pulled the metal blade from the piece of useless plastic. I threw the plastic away too, holding the cold metal in my palm. I felt my hands shaking and it was noticeable when I looked down.
I couldn’t stay still. I need this so bad, I thought. I had hit rock bottom. I felt my eyes tear up as I pulled down my jeans and then took them off. I saw a lot of familiar scars; some newer than others. Some were faded, some were just healing from a few days ago. I brought the metal down to touch my thigh, and then I jerked my arm to the side, cutting through the skin, bringing blood to the surface. I felt myself sobbing and wailing and I hope that no one was outside to hear me.
I did that over and over again, until I felt light headed; that’s when I knew I should probably stop. I pulled a patch of gauze out of the first aid kit I had beside the tool kit. I put it over the cuts. Almost instantly, the blood soaked through. I started to panic, freaking out that I was going to die.
I knew that I couldn’t call Tony, who knows what the hell he would do. I couldn’t call my mom either, and I didn’t know what else to do, so I took out my phone and dialed the number that I had gotten earlier this week.
“Hello?” He answered the phone.
“Vic, I need your help,” I breathed out, feeling more and more light headed. “I’m in Escondido, and I don’t know what way to get back home, c-can you come here? God, I think I’m bleeding to death,” I sobbed, trying to calm myself down.
“Wait, what do you mean you think you’re bleeding to death? Does Tony know what’s going on?” He panicked. I heard him yell at Mike to get in the car. I could hear him getting into his car, rushing to turn it on.
“No, and I can’t tell him. God, Vic, he’s going to kill me, I fucked up so bad this time,” I cried and cried and I couldn’t stop.
“He won’t kill you, I promise. Do you know where in the town you are?”
“I’m parked in the parking lot for Cenote Grill,” I whispered, trying to breathe calmly. I had found thicker gauze in the first aid kit and wrapped multiple layers around it and it seemed to be working better than before. I was feeling more light headed by the second. I still had to change the gauze a lot; I had cut deep. There was blood dripping down the side of my legs, on my hands, on the blankets that were laid out, and there were gauze pads soaked in blood everywhere.
About half an hour later, I was still on the phone with Vic and he said he was coming down the street and he would be there in less than a minute. He pointed out that he saw my van and parked next to it. I noticed that the blood had went through the gauze and was soaking the pieces.
I was still crying when I reached to my purse and grabbed the keys, unlocking the doors. He asked where I was after looking through the windows. I told him that I was laying in the back and that I had unlocked the door and then I felt a cold gust of wind, after the door had opened.
I heard him gasp probably at the sight of everything, and I suddenly had no strength to hold my head up, so my neck arched to the side, leaving my head slouching. He had knelt up, leaving his feet hanging out of the van. He got more gauze out of the box which happened to be the last piece that I had in here. He cut it into two with the pair of safety scissors I had, and went to go replace the gauze.
I sucked in as he took the piece of gauze off of my leg. I heard him gasp again and mutter something along the lines of “oh god,” I felt my chest contracting and I felt so much pain that I felt like I couldn’t breathe. He placed the gauze on my leg, covering as much as he could with it, before moving onto the next piece.
“I’ll be right back, I promise,” He muttered, before rushing out and going to his car.
“Why is there blood on your hands? What’s going on?” Mike asked, his voice scared and almost angry.
“I need you to drive Olivia’s van to the hospital,” He panicked again. I heard the car door shut and I heard mine open. Mike got into the front seat and Vic got back into the back with me. I heard Mike shifting in his seat to get the keys, and I heard him ask what the hell happened. I heard Vic trying to muster up how to explain.
He passed him the keys and then told Mike which directions to go to get to the hospital. Vic was sitting beside me trying to talk to me, trying to get me to calm down.
“I-I’m so tired,” I whispered, my chest heaving up and down. I yawned stiffly and uncomfortably shifted my weight.
“Stay awake, stay with me,” He said, putting his hand on my shoulder. “Hurry up, Mike,” He directed.
“I’m going as fast as I can,” He muttered, speeding up noticeably. He pulled a sharp right turn and I felt myself falling over until Vic put his arms under my side and made sure I was still sitting up straight.
I felt the car turn off and I heard Mike get out and I felt Vic move and open the side door. I winced as he slipped his arm under my legs and another around my shoulders. After he moved away from the van, Mike leaned in, grabbing my phone and my purse, making sure my health card and wallet was inside.
Vic ran inside and I heard him yelling for help. A nurse ran over with a gurney. I was put down on top of it. The nurses started asking them a bunch of questions and I was brought into the intensive care unit.
Vic and Mike were forced to go to the waiting room and there was no doubt about whether or not Tony was called. I knew for a fact that they told him, I could tell someone was going to tell him. The nurses asked me a bunch of questions from how old I was, if these were self inflicted, stuff like that.
“Am I going to die?” I cried, when I heard nurses and doctors running around the room.
“No, sweetie. We’re just trying to make sure you’ll be okay. Now, by any chance are you pregnant?” She asked, looking at a machine weirdly after hooking me up to it.
“Yeah, I am,” I felt my chest contract again and I yelled out in pain. I felt myself getting more tired and tired, the pain getting worse and worse until I completely blacked out.

Notes