Fight Back

Date: 13th October 2014. Weight: 8st 8lbs. Stage: Three. Estimated time of survival: Your guess is as good as mine.

Sometimes you just look back at your life for no apparent reason. I was doing that now, not everything, just my school life. I remember starting high school and being so scared. Then I looked next to me in homeroom at Hope. I don't really know how or why we became friends, but we did. We were for a long time. She knew that Alex was ill and cried with me when he died. But I never did tell her I was diagnosed, it just didn't feel right. And I guess being diagnosed with something like Infirma changes you, and it certainly changed me. It made me push Hope away. It turned me into this and the sad thing is that I can't go back.
I frowned and pulled a light worn denim jacket from the back of my chair in bio. I was due to go for my check up with Phil. I stood up and jumped back a little. Hope was standing close with her arms crossed.
“Yes?” I asked.
“Nothing.” she shrugged.
“No, what?”
“We're not close any more, are we?” Hope asked.
“Not as close.” I agreed.
“Things changed after...” she trailed off.
“Alex died.” I finished and tried to get her to look me in the eye. She didn't.
“Yes, I'm sorry."
“Why? Its not your fault,” its my parents fault, I finished in my head.
“I wish we were closer."
“Things change,”
“You've changed, Helena. We never talk any more.”
“I never used to talk." I retorted sharply and turned my back to her.
“What happened to us?”
“We grew up." I snapped.
“Helena please?”
“Hope! Just leave me alone!”
“Helena?" Hope asked faintly. "We have a free period. We could study together."
“I need to be somewhere." I hissed and turned to walk out of the class.
“You never told me."
“I don't tell my dad and Evelyn where I go so why the hell should I tell you?” I said nastily and left the room before Hope could stop me.
I knew Phil would be waiting for me, already looking concerned. Before I could reach our room I felt a vibrating in my pocket and reached for my phone. I saw the home number flashing on the screen and rolled my eyes. My family were the last people I wanted to speak to. “Hi." I said tiredly.
“Hi Helena," Evelyn replied cheerfully. “How are you?”
“Fine,” I said coldly and heard her cough nervously. Dad stopped ringing me like this half way through the day last year. But Evelyn can't seem to understand I like things that way.
“Good. Well, your dad and I have received some good news and it couldn't wait until this evening.”
“Really?” I said disinterested.
“I know you'll be over the moon.” she gushed. I highly doubt that. The only good news they could give me is that they've disowned me for the last three years of my life and I don't think there's any chance of that happening.
“Really?" I repeated.
"Your Dad and I, well we've just been to the hospital. They gave me a new chart.” she explained and I shuddered.
“Is there any point to telling me this?"
“I was ovulating this time last month."
“I don't feel comfortable discussing this.” I informed her.
“I'm pregnant!” Evelyn squealed and I had to grab the handrail to stop myself from falling.
“You're what?” I asked faintly.
“I'm pregnant, Helena."
“Are you stupid?!” I yelled loudly. “You know what this means?!”
“Sorry?” she asked quietly, I heard sniffling, I think she may be crying.
“You realise the child will have it too. Dad wants to pass on his DNA to kill another child. Is this some sick hobby he has? He's fucking sick!" I hissed lowly.
“Helena please, don't use that language." she snapped.
“I don't want to be involved.” I spat and ended the call angrily.
I turned towards the corner of the wall and slammed my clenched fist into it. I could immediately feeling the hot throbbing in my hand. “Shit.” I growled under my breath and felt blood drip down my wrist. This isn't supposed to happen. Phil will kill me.
By the time I'd reached the nurses, I was holding my jacket under my arm so I didn't leave a Hansel and Gretel trail of blood behind me.
“Pippa! What the hell did you do?!” Phil exclaimed urgently and came to my aid.
“I had an accident." I tried and saw his disapproving eyes as he guided me to the examination bed.
“What really happened?” he asked, going to work on my hand.
“I found out the wicked witch of the west is pregnant."
“How did this lead you to bleed all over the halls?”
“It led me to punch a wall.” I stated plainly. Phil looked at me and frowned.
“You can't be doing things like this, we don't know what the situation is with your Infirma. And I told you I don't know your platelet count."
“I was just so angry, that he would even...” I said and looked up at him. “They want another child to someday die, like Alex and I aren't enough for them." I said and Phil nodded in understanding.
“You sure you were angry and not upset?” Phil asked gently.
“Does it matter?”
“Yes."
“Both.” I confirmed while he applied strips to my knuckles.
“Do you want to talk about it, Pippa?"
“No." I replied gruffly and let him drop my hand gently onto my lap.
“Okay then, lets get you weighed.” Phil smiled and set a pair of heavy hospital scales onto the floor.
After I was successfully weighed, measured, checked over and had a blood test I was free to leave. Phil always likes to make sure I sit for fifteen minutes before leaving, so he didn't cause me to pass out and it all be his fault. I don't think he'd be bothered about me suing him for it, it would just be the fact that he'd feel guilty.
“What are you doing for the rest of the day?” Phil asked casually.
“I have team building with my class." I groaned. It was like scouts on steroids.
"Since when do you have team building?"
"Since that big fight between my year last term. Where everyone started shouting at each other and threw pens and rulers."
"Where you gave the supply teacher a breakdown?"
"That's the one." I nodded. "So I'd rather crawl away to die than have team building."
“Don't you like it?” he inquired after frowning at my choice of words.
“It may have escaped your notice Phil but I'm not a team player."
“Is that so?” he laughed. “Do you prefer working in pairs?”
"Not in team building."
“Why not?”
“We get paired based on our seating chart in History because Miss Levy runs it, and I'm next to Mike Fuentes.”
“Which one's that?” Phil asked and pulled a face.
“Looks wise or in means of my code?” I asked. Whenever I used to speak about people at school to Phil I'd use code names instead of their real names, just in case he ever met them.
“Your code." he frowned.
“He was Nathan.” I said and Phil raised his eyebrows.
“Wasn't you rather fond of Nathan at one point?” he asked innocently.
“Not any more.”
"Why not?”
“He's arrogant, self centred and conceited." I rushed.
“Enjoy your class.” Phil grinned.
“Can't we swap? You go to team building and I go to the hospital?” I asked hopefully.
“No.”
“Oh, well then, I best go." I said.
“I need to talk to you,” he said once I'd hopped off of the examination bed. “Its about your family.” he said and I groaned. “They're going through a lot Pippa, what with you and then getting over Alex I think you need to give then the time of day for once."
“They have a watch for that." I mocked.
“I'm serious Pippa, they're really worried and I think you should try being a little nicer.”
“Nicer.” I echoed.
“Just try please.”
“No!” I spat and jumped back. “I'm worried! I have three years to live and then I'll die, just like that. They're worried! Well oh no!” I glared at him, anger running through my diseased blood.
“Please.” he tried but I pulled away from his reach. I turned the handle of the door and left him alone. I felt so angry, I didn't really know why. I knew I was over reacting and I knew that my family loved me. But right now I hated them, I hated everyone. I wanted to scream at the world until I had no air left in my lungs. I was a bitch and I knew it.
I ran outside and wanted nothing better than to run home to my bedroom and cry. But then I saw my class all heading to the gym. They all saw me and Miss Levy nodded. That meant I wouldn't be able to skip. A perfect end to a perfect day.
I decided to follow them, putting distance between myself and Mike. I followed the group to the football pitch at the back of the gym. Everyone sat on the floor and waited.
“Today you'll be getting in your usual pairs, you'll be working on trust and the forming of close friendly relationships.” Miss Levy announced and there was a small part of me that contemplated suicide for a moment. The only thing I wanted to get close with Mike was a hammer.
“Dread head." Mike's voice said curtly from next to me and I turned to face his stupid smile.
“Idiot.” I said in greeting and he nodded happily.
“To start,” Miss Levy called to the group. “I want half of the group to practice falling, the lighter of the two to fall back and the other to catch them, to build your trust in each other. And the other half, one of you will be blindfolded and the other must guide them to the fence past the pitch!”
“Do you trust me?” Mike said brightly and stood up holding his hand out for me. I got to my feet on my own.
“No,” I replied coldly and glared at him.
“What?”
“Why are you being so painfully nice? I prefer you being an ass, then I don't feel like such a bitch." I stated plainly.
“But you are a bitch.” he said dryly.
“And you're apparently not a gentlemen.” I said sarcastically.
“Turn around and bend over.” Mike whispered huskily in my ear and I elbowed him in the ribs.
“I hate you.” I muttered and put all my weight on my heels, getting ready to fall back. I wasn't comfortable putting all my trust in a boy with the attention span of a toddler. I started to fall and flailed my arms when I felt air behind me. My head hit off of the floor and I sat up, looking where Mike was now flirting with a supermodel-esque girl. “Freak!” I yelled and walked over to them.
“I'm sorry, you're calling me a freak?” Mike asked.
“Yes.” I hissed.
“Yet you're probably the kind of person who has days of the week on her underwear.” he joked.
“Shut up.”
“Does that response mean you can't think of a retort?”
“It means you're a pri-”
“SWAP!” Miss Levy's voice stopped me and I looked to the other half of the group walking over to our area. I headed over to where there was a pile of black blindfolds.
“Here." I picked one up and threw it at him. He caught it with ease and put it on so it fit snugly over his eyes, blinding him.
“I have practice with blindfolds." he said before stopping to laugh at his own joke. "Guide me then.” Mike called and I grinned mischievously. I wanted to get my own back on the idiot.
“Walk to the right.” I ordered and he until we were standing at the edge of the pitch. “Keep going.” I said and we past the benches and the flimsy fence that lined the pitch. “Nearly there." I said and watched as Mike tumbled down the slope.
“What on earth!” Miss Levy exclaimed and came running to us. “What happened?” she asked and went to Mike who was now rubbing his head.
“The freak pushed me!” Mike yelled.
“Liar!” I screamed down to them. “You walked!”
“Only because you were meant to be guiding me, you psychopath!”
“Enough!” Miss Levy growled. “Both of you see me after the session.” she ordered and left us.
“Why are you doing this?” Mike asked coldly.
“Because you deserve it.” I spat spitefully and turned my back on him. And the truth was that he did deserve it. I wanted to make him hurt.

Notes

Hey! I've been getting a great response from this! What did you think? What do you want to happen? Any questions? What's up with Pippa's bloods? And Evelyn is pregnant! :)