Fight Back

Date: 9th September 2014. Weight: 8st 10lbs. Stage: Three. Estimated time of survival: I don't know any more, my bloods still haven't been resolved.

The early bird gets the worm. I'd always agreed with that statement. I decided I should make an effort. I set my alarm early and was the first to be ready in my house. I spent a while just letting the warm water beat down onto my back. The water calmed me and I only stepped out when I heard Sasha's sleepy voice.
The first thing that put a damper on my day was how cold the air was when I stepped out of the shower and back into my room. Next I found Sasha using my moisturiser, which was right next to my pills that she has carelessly thrown to the side. Meaning I could have lost them. Then I had the mission of trying to fit my hair into one single rubber band.
Now I'm sitting in Mrs Telle's office, waiting for my pills that have to be taken before I eat my lunch. She was busying herself but placed a glass of water and a digestive biscuit in front of me with a plastic cap of assorted tablets. “Here you are.” she told me and noted down the time on my medical card.
“Thanks.” I said airily and stood up. I left her office and made my way to the cafeteria to get my lunch. Inside it was getting busy. People were scattered and were talking quietly. Two tables away from where I was sitting I saw Mike and his idiot friends. I felt Mike looking at me. But my eyes shifted to where Hope was sitting with the girls in our year. I could join in but I'd already shouted at her this morning for not asking permission to go through my bag when she wanted a pen. Instead I got my lunch and sat alone at a table near the door.
Things never used to be like this. I used to get on with everyone, the girls didn't know me enough to not like me. But now I can feel their eyes on me. Not just the girls, Mike was glaring into the back of my awful hair.
“Oi! Dread head!” Mike called.
"Leave her." his brother - Vic said.
"Shut up." Mike said brightly. I turned to see Mike standing directly behind me.
“You have the step of a mass murder.” I commented and looked calmly up at him.
“I want an apology for the other day.” Mike demanded.
“What happened?” I mocked.
“You kicked me in the balls, I could be sterile." he said and I brought my hand up to my lips as I laughed. “What are you laughing at?” Mike snapped.
“I just don't see how you being sterile would be such a loss to the world." I smirked.
“And what's that meant to mean?”
“That I can't imagine someone desperate enough to willingly reproduce with you.” I said silkily.
“Girls want me,” Mike countered. “I'm more desirable than you.”
“Well,” I started. “I have to give you that, but the minute you open your mouth it destroys that handsome, charming front you try to hold.”
“Why are you like this?” he asked desperately.
“Because this is how you treat people every second of every day.” I replied nastily.
“I do not!” he spat back.
“You're arrogant, conceited, egotistical and lack the most basic of knowledge.” I rushed.
“If this is about me teasing you, I'm sorry. But now, you should be under the doctor for your tongue.” Mike hissed and I stopped for a minute. That comment hurt me, it was like Mike had wrapped his hands around my throat.
“You should be sorry!” I growled. “For thinking every girl is lining up to be used by you and every person you deem not fit or worthy of your respect should crawl away to die!”
“You don't know me,” Mike countered. “Don't judge me like this.”
“So, you don't think you're superior to people not in your group of friends or your girl of the moment. Think you're better than me?” I asked viciously, getting pleasure from watching his face turn angry.
“Just what are you getting at?” he demanded, biting the inside of his cheek.
“That you have a serious superiority complex.” I replied simply.
“Shut up!” Mike spat.
“I think you have a complex, Fuentes.” I said and laughed. He looked back at me astounded and muttered something under his breath. “I need to go to history.” I said plainly and headed out of the cafeteria.
I walked out into the corridor and felt someone brush against me. I saw the dark frizzy curls belonging to Hope and heard a huffing sound coming from her. I don't think she's talking to me. But it wasn't her I was interested in, it was the painful pulsing of pins and needles that I had in my arm. My initial thought was a stroke, just what I need. But by the time I had reached the classroom and sat at the table at the back of the room it had passed. I almost considered ringing or texting Phil, but he'd probably insist on coming down here and looking me over, and I really can't be bothered for that today.
Then to make this horrific day even better Mike Fuentes sat next to me. He leaned back on the legs of his chair and grinned. It seemed to annoy me how he had the ability to bounce back like that. I wanted that ability. He was looking at me and letting the back of his hair brush the wall behind us.
“What?” I asked and he smiled smugly. I raised my eyebrows and watched him do the same. “What Mike?” I repeated.
“Just wondering.”
“Right.” I interrupted.
“About you." Mike continued and I sat back.
“About me?” I asked puzzled.
“What happened this summer to convert you into such a cold bitch?” he asked.
“Cold bitch.” I echoed.
“Yeah, last year I actually considered asking you out one weekend.” Mike started and laughed for effect. “Not now, you were hot last year – not Jessica Alba hot – but, pretty hot."
“You really are full of yourself.” I muttered.
“Now you'd have to pay someone to say yes." he went on.
“I'm sorry, how is your relationship going?” I asked and a blush warmed Mike's cheeks.
“I'm not in one." he admitted casually.
“No one saying yes, Fuentes?” I mocked.
“They will,” he shrugged. “I can get someone any day of the week, you on the other hand...”
“Why?”
“You're ugly, Dread head.” he said, but not nastily, he was stating a fact. I knew why he'd said it, he was trying to get me mad. But I felt the same, I wanted to make him feel shit and get under his skin.
“Is that you talking or your Mommy?”
“Excuse me?” he asked.
“Well you are a Mommy's boy. You're dying for your mothers approval. That's all you seek in life, right? In fact, you just want to be the pride and joy of your entire family to beat your brother. Shall we list what we know about your family?” I asked and saw him flush from anger. I smiled in satisfaction and continued. “Completely clueless about the things you do - or the people for that matter, and lets not forget dull and narrow minded.”
“Narrow minded.” Mike echoed faintly.
“Tell me, is it cramped in your narrow mind?” I whispered softly in his ear and his chair legs snapped sharply to the floor. “And lets not forget the long list of problems that come with the Fuentes'.”
“We have no problems." he countered, but it was faint, nervous.
“I think you do,” I replied brightly. “I do believe your parents are struggling to keep your house, your elder brother is still in denial that his fiancée is screwing his best friend, your Uncle was sent to prison for attempted murder on your Aunt when she clearly tried to take her own life, and your brother has an ongoing self injury problem.” I ticked off on my fingers.
“What – how do you know that?”
“You really should hold your conversations somewhere private in future." I smirked.
“You listened in on my private things?” Mike asked coldly.
“Don't flatter yourself, I wouldn't go out of my way to eavesdrop on you. You probably scream all of this out when you climax."
“Then why did you listen?” Mike demanded.
“In your words from last year, I'm nothing but a extra in everyone's life.”
“You. . . . remember that?” he stuttered.
“Why wouldn't I? According to you I have little else to fill up my life as its so boring.” I said spitefully.
“So this is it? You're still pissed at me calling you boring? You kicked me in the nuts for Gods sake!”
“Again, don't flatter yourself,” I said and thought for a minute. “I do want to help you actually?”
“You? Help me? Yeah right.” he said sarcastically. I bit my lip and smiled deviously.
“I think that you're one of the most arrogant, self obsessed, conceited, ignorant idiots that has ever walked the face of the earth and I'm going to be doing my bit for the human race-”
“-Lets hope you don't protest and get the media's attention, the camera would crack.”
“And deflate that giant ego of yours.” I continued.
“And just how are you going to do that?” Mike laughed.
“By doing this.” I shrugged and he grinned.
“This? By entertaining me?”
“Nope,” I replied. “You're loving the attention and company now, but day after day all I'm going to do is get under your skin.”
“Good luck with that.” Mike mocked.
“I'm going to watch you falter and doubt yourself until that confidence has all but vanished.”
“Why?” Mike asked plainly.
“Because everyone deserves that one person in their lives that makes them want to give up and bawl their eyes out. That's who I am to you, I'm going to be that one person that makes you feel worthless, I want you to feel shit about yourself for once in your life.” I hissed with relish. I don't know when I decided this really, but I might as well do good with the last three years before the Infirma killed me. I have my illness to make me feel shit.
“You're a horrible, vile bitch. You know that?”
“Thank you.” I smiled.
“Mike, Helena? How are you doing?” Miss Levy, our teacher asked.
“Fine.” I lied and looked up to her wrinkled face. Poor Miss Levy. I felt sorry for her, having to teach History for all of her long life. At least I won't have that problem.
“You haven't even started, come on.” she urged, looking disappointed then walking away.
“You're so convincing, Dread head.” Mike gushed sarcastically. I shifted in my seat and looked away from him. I could feel him looking at me before he poked me four times in the arm.
“Yes?” I asked.
“So, after all we've been through you've decided to just ignore me now?”
“Not ignore,” I reasoned. “You just relish in attention you don't deserve, so now I refuse to give it you. You're addicted, and I'm forcing you to go cold turkey if you will.”
“I'm sorry?” he asked.
“Like I said, I don't want to feed your ego, which by the way, is already larger than your parents debt.” I said silkily and turned my chair forty five degrees to the left so I was facing the wall.
“Oi, Helena?" Mike asked and I started to hum loudly.
It felt good to know I had this control over him. I felt powerful. If my disorder can control me then I can control one person in my life that was attempting to break me, and make my life even worse. I feel strong now. I would control this one aspect of my life, just because I could.

Notes

Hey! What did you think? Do you like Mike and Helena's relationship? What do you think will happen? Do you think Helena is a bitch? :)