“Where are you going?” I asked. I masked my sadness because it would be selfish of me to be sad—she deserved this opportunity. I just hoped it wasn’t too far away.

“New York,” she murmured quietly.

“Oh,” I said. The word didn’t come out in a coherent way, though; it was more like a gasp of air, painfully choked out.

She bit her lip regrettably and nodded. “It’ll be good for you,” I said softly with a positive smile. She nodded again and blinked. Her eyes were watering but I could tell she was trying to hold it back.

“Don’t cry, baby,” I whispered a little hoarsely. Even though we weren’t technically together anymore, we still loved each other; it was complicated. It was hard to suppress that I was sad she was leaving, because no matter what she would always be in my heart.

I put my hand over my chest. Alyssa was still somewhere in there—I could feel it. My feelings for her were long buried but for some reason I could sense them sprouting again.

“Helloooooo. Vic?” I blinked and saw Kayla waving her hand in front of my face.

“Oh, shit,” I laughed a little, shaking my head. “I zoned out.”

“You’ve been doing that a lot lately,” she pointed out.

I yawned and nodded. “I’m tired,” I said, sticking my tongue out at her.

“I bet you are,” she said, stepping closer and hooking her arms around my neck.

I rolled my eyes and squeezed my arms around her, lifting her up as I fell back on the couch so she was sitting on my lap. “You wear me out, babe,” I laughed. She grinned and pulled her leg around so she was straddling me. She gripped my face in between her hands and kissed me hard. I chuckled a little when she pulled away.

“That’s exactly what I meant,” I said. Kayla snickered and traced her fingernails down the side of my face. Before she could go any farther—and I could see in her darkening eyes that she wanted to—I grabbed her hand and held it in mine between us. She stuck her bottom lip out and pouted.

“What?” she whined.

“Not now, Kay,” I said, smiling at her so she didn’t take it the wrong way.

She pouted again and groaned. “Okay,” she said, dragging out the word as she collapsed into me, resting her head on my shoulder. I laughed a little and patted her back.

“What do you want to do today?” I asked into her shoulder.

“You don’t have any band things today?” I shook my head.

“It’s all been taken care of. We’re done for a while,” I said, squeezing my arms around her. We were all exhausted—we had just finished the year off with over six months straight of touring. A few weeks before our one-year anniversary, I invited Kayla on the tour with us so we could spend it together; then, she ended up staying with us for the rest of them. I was glad that she was able to visit new places with me—plus, she was always respectful of my space, when I needed to go off on my own she understood. It would have been difficult if Kayla couldn’t have joined us, but since she was at most of the tours we didn’t have to worry about any relationship strains. Things were easier—unlike with Alyssa, when she couldn’t be with us on tour even in the beginning of our band’s career.

I frowned and shook my head, stopping myself from thinking about her in the company of Kayla.

I ducked my head and kissed the side of Kayla’s neck, the closest exposed skin within my reach. I felt her mouth stretch into a smile against me. She moved the palm of her hands up my chest and to the top of my shoulders and around my lower neck. “You’re so tense,” she murmured, gently kneading the muscles. I rolled my head around in relaxation as she massaged my shoulders. She continued to work the kinks out of my shoulders but then she nuzzled her forehead against mine.

“We should go to the beach,” I suggested. She rested her palms against my collarbones, her fingers curling over the tops of my shoulders and her thumbs on the base of my neck.

“That would be nice,” she said softly. She slid her hands up and wrapped her arms around my neck. I held mine hooked at the small of her back. “I should probably go relieve Jen at home tonight, though,” she said thoughtfully.

“Still on cat duty?” I laughed, shaking my head. Kayla had a small cat—Lilly. But while Kayla was on tour with us her roommate Jen was taking care of her.

“Yeah,” she laughed. “I miss that kitty,” she frowned.

“Well, we can pick her up later.”

“What do you mean, pick her up?” she canted her head to the side. I rolled my eyes.

“Oh, come on, Kay, like you don’t practically live with me already!”

She shrugged her shoulders. “I guess you’re right. But Jen—”

“Will be just fine,” I interrupted. “She’s probably prepared, anyway. How many days out of the year did you even stay there?” She laughed. “Exactly,” I said, proving my point. “Besides, we’ll be saving the environment.”

“How so?” she smiled.

“Less fossil fuel burning, because we won’t have to drive as much,” I reasoned.

“Oh, well, that sells it then!” she exclaimed. I chuckled and went to stand up, expecting her to slide off my lap but instead she clung on.

“Oh my God,” I laughed, shaking my head.

She giggled and unhooked her arms from around me, setting her feet down on the floor.

“Beach?” she asked, hooking her arm through mine. I smiled and nodded.

The house that Mike and I owned was only a block away from the beach. It was technically winter, so the air was crisper than usual but it wasn’t that cold. It was pretty windy, though; every time it gusted, Kayla’s hair whipped around in her face.

“Should have worn a hat,” she regretted, releasing my hand to hold her hair down with both of her hands. I laughed and took my hat off, running my fingers through my hair. I picked her hands up from the top of her head and gently smoothed out her hair, before placing my hat on her head.

“There,” I said.

“You’re too kind,” she smiled up at me. “But now you’re hair is doing the same thing!” she laughed.

“Anything for you, baby,” I said, sticking my tongue out at her. She laughed again and held my arm securely, resting her head on my shoulder.

We walked down the beach quietly, taking in the salty, San Diego air that I missed a lot while we were traveling. Although it was nice to see new places, it was also nice to be home and settled.

“Are you sure you want Lilly in your house?” she asked.

I smiled reassuringly and nodded. “Of course. You love Lilly. I don’t want to keep you away from her. And I love you,” I said simply.

“Aw,” she said softly. She squeezed my arm and turned her head, kissing my upper arm. “We love you too!”

I grinned and we turned around, heading back in the direction of my house. Hopefully Mike didn’t pitch a fit over Kayla living there more permanently, but I didn’t worry too much about it because Kayla was a lot more respectful than the tons of girls Mike had coming in and out—when he was even home. He spent a lot of time up in Los Angeles.

“Here,” she said, putting my hat back on my head. She ruffled out her own hair as we returned into the house.

“Mike?” I called. I heard him grunt from the living room so as Kayla freshened up a little more I wandered in there to see what he was doing. “Hey,” I said, sinking into the couch opposite him.

“What’s up?”

“Kay and I are going back to her place. But, actually, I wanted to ask you something.”

“Go on,” he raised his eyebrows.

“Do you care if Kayla, like, moves in more permanently?” I asked, scrunching my mouth a little as I waited for his reply. I had insinuated it so casually to her before, but officially moving in with someone seemed like a serious “next-step.” Mike’s face expressed that very clearly.

“So you do want to get serious with her?”

“Of course I do.”

Mike nodded slowly. But his mouth was in a thin line, his eyebrows furrowed. “Are you sure Kayla is the type of girl—”

“Uh, yeah? It’s been nearly a year and a half, Mike. She’s always with us anyway. What difference does it make?”
Mike raised his hands. “I’m just saying. I know you love her and all and she says she loves you, but—”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I furrowed my eyebrows and frowned.

“Do you think she really loves you, or do you think she only loves you because you love her? Or do you only love her because she’s the next best thing to Alyssa?”

“Stop fucking with my head, Mike. You’re pissing me off,” I growled, standing up.

“I’m just putting my opinion out there, Vic. You guys get along great but what happens when she finds out about your problems? I don’t see her being as understanding as Alyssa.”

“Would you stop fucking bringing her up?” I yelled. “You’re so fucking annoying, lately.”

“Just think about it, Vic. Don’t be stupid. You know that Kayla came from the crowd that just likes being taken care of—”

“She’s not that shallow, you dick,” I snarled. I was moments away from slapping him across the face, but I held it in because Kayla was going to be down soon. I didn’t want her to hear.

Mike just shrugged his shoulders passively. I gritted my teeth but instead of blowing up on him I just walked away. Kayla was just coming down the stairs as I reached the bottom of them. “Hi,” I smiled.

“Hey.” She extended her hand and I took it. When we got into my car I sighed, rubbing the back of my neck.

“Hey, listen…” I started slowly, biting my lip. She looked at me expectantly. “Mike is being an ass about everything, I don’t know why…”

“I understand,” she said. “I don’t think he likes me, to be honest.”

“He does!” I rushed. “He’s just… really protective.”

“That’s backwards.”

“How so?”

“Well, you’re the older brother. He doesn’t need to worry about you,” she said. I just shrugged my shoulders as a response, biting my lip. “Don’t worry about it, Vic. I should probably be a little more independent now, anyway. I don’t want you to think I’m mooching off you or anything,” she said. I snickered internally at the way Kayla had just proved Mike wrong.

“You’re not,” I smiled.

She shrugged her shoulders. “We have all the time in the world, right? No need to rush it,” she said. She didn’t look hurt at all that I had essentially revoked the offer not even two hours after making it. I felt relieved, now; although, I wasn’t exactly sure why. “Besides, it wouldn’t be fair to Jen,” she added, and I nodded in understanding.

When we got to her apartment, Kayla was about to explode with excitement. “You really love that cat, don’t you?” I laughed, shaking my head as we exited the car.

“Yes! I didn’t realize how much I missed her until now!” she clung onto my arm as we walked up, taking the two flights of stairs up to her hall. She jammed her keys into her apartment door and pushed it open, sighing as she entered her place. “Jen?” she called.

“Hey, Kay!” her roommate called, her footsteps approaching. She came into view with a large smile across her face. “Hey, Vic,” she greeted me, and, much to Kayla’s annoyance and my amusement, she batted her eyelashes and bit on her lip a little.

“Hello, Jen,” I laughed.

“Where’s my baby?!” Kayla demanded.

“Calm down,” Jen laughed. “She’s in your room.”

“Aww,” Kayla cooed, immediately dancing over there.

“So,” Jen said, crossing her arms over her chest. “How was tour?”

“Long, tiring, and awesome,” I said, leaning against the wall.

“How was Kayla?” she asked.

“Very well behaved,” I chuckled.

“Kayla is always usually on her best behavior,” Jen said, nodding. Then, she pointed at me. “I think you need a little naughty in your life,” she said with a smirk.

I raised my eyebrows at her, but luckily Kayla reemerged, saving me from any potential awkward conversation or situation. She was coddling a white and brown cat in her arms, rubbing her face against the back of its fur.

“Hi Lilly,” I grinned, gently scratching the cat under its chin. Kayla lifted the cat’s paw, so it was waving.

“Say ‘hi Vic,’” she cooed. She giggled as the cat continued to purr.

“And you think I’m the child,” I laughed, petting Lilly. “Alright, I should probably get out of here,” I said after a few minutes.

“You’re not staying?” Kayla looked up.

“Nah, I need to make up with Mike. I don’t like not getting along,” I admitted.

“Aw,” Jen said. She twirled some of her long, black hair, contrasting with her pale skin. Kayla shot her a look and I laughed a little.

“Okay, that’s okay. Talk to you whenever, then?” she said. She shifted her sleepy cat to her left arm and leaned into me with her right as I gently kissed her. “Bye,” she said with a soft smile. I petted Lilly again and grinned all of them, waving bye.

“See ya, Vic!” Jen said. I saw Kayla roll her eyes and push her friend a little playfully, and probably a little seriously, too, and I chuckled, walking out of their place.

As I jogged down the stairs, I checked my phone, seeing I had a few texts from Tony. I decided to call him.

I held the phone up to my ear as it rang. As I neared my car, I spotted two teenage girls, staring at me with wide eyes. As soon as I saw them, they started waving excitedly. I chuckled and waved at them, but only for a second because Tony answered the phone.

“Hey Vic,” Tony said.

“Hey, I saw you texted me. What’s up?” I asked. I opened my car door and the girls were still staring excitedly at me, one even had her phone out, I guess taking a picture. I smiled and waved again, settling into my car. I decided to wait for a second—see what Tony wanted—and then I would maybe go and talk to them.

“Er, I just needed to talk to you about something. Mike let me in. No rush or anything, but when will you be home?” he asked. I furrowed my eyebrows.

“Uh, I’m on my way home right now,” I said, starting the car. I felt bad—the girls looked a little disappointed—but I grinned and waved again, looking as apologetic as possible as I pulled out of the lot.

“Okay, I’ll see ya soon, then.”

“Wait, Tony. What’s going on?” I asked worriedly.

“I’ll just talk to you in person. Don’t stress,” he eased.

“Uh, okay then,” I said. “Be there in a minute,” I sighed, hanging up. I bit on my lip in concern for the rest of the drive, wondering what this was about. I tried not to think to much about it, because thinking too much only caused my head pain. Stress was the last thing I needed. The past few years have been pretty uneventful for me, mental health wise. I was just concerned how much longer it would last, if it would last at all.

I shook the thought out of my head as I pulled into my driveway. I swallowed nervously and cut the engine, and then I jogged up to the front door.

When I walked further into the house, I spotted Tony leaning across the counter, typing on his phone. “Hey,” I said breathlessly.

“Oh, hey,” Tony said, lifting his head up and smiling at me.

“What’s going on?”

“Vic… um, it’s mom… she’s not doing well, dude,” he frowned, his shoulders slumping a little. Mine did, too, and I grimaced.

“No,” I said softly. “What’s wrong with her?” I asked. I walked into the kitchen, leaning my back against cabinets. Tony was still standing on the other side of the island counter.

He sighed. “She’s had this muscle disorder thing, and now it’s starting to take its effect on her now that she’s a little older. She’s very frail. She can hardly use her hands and she definitely can’t drive anywhere. I’m afraid she’s going to fall and break her hip. And of course she’s having heart problems, too,” he said. I frowned again. Mrs. Perry was basically my mother; she let me in while my own parents pretended that I was dead. They—Tony, Mrs. Perry, Alyssa—were my family. A knot formed in my throat. I used to be in the state where I needed them. I hated that I had become so disconnected from them, besides Tony of course.

“Do we have to research some nursing homes or something?” I tried. I didn’t like the idea, though. Mrs. Perry would hate to live in one. She needed family. That was the problem.

Tony shook his head, probably thinking the same thing as me. “Are you going to quit the band?” I asked bluntly. I bit my lip. “I mean… we could always go on a hiatus—”

“Don’t be an idiot, Vic! This band is keeping both of us alive,” Tony said, his voice slightly elevated. I nodded and sighed. He was right. The only reason, I realized, why I was eventually able to move on from Alyssa was because I had the band, the music, the fans, the life.

“Then what do we do? We can’t just leave her,” I sighed.

“Well, Vic… the main reason why I’m here is to give you a heads up about something.”

“Yes, and you did…” I said slowly. Tony shook his head.

“No, something else.” He bit his lip, his eyes regretful and also sad. “It’s Lissy. She lost her job in New York, so she offered to move back here to take care of mama…” he said carefully.

I stared at Tony vacantly. He looked at me with concern. We were both probably feeling the same things right now. The fact that both of us haven’t seen her in years was pathetic. She was family. But it hurt me more, knowing that the reason why Tony kept his distance from Alyssa was probably because of me—and the reason why Alyssa kept her distance from her brother was probably because of me, too.

“I know,” Tony sighed. “I feel bad, too,” he said quietly. I nodded.

“So she’s coming back?” I asked, feeling suddenly very weak in the knees. I gripped the counter for support.

“Yeah, man,” he sighed again heavily. “She’s coming back.”

I blinked a few times; a shiver ran through my body. Of course I knew it wouldn’t be forever until I saw her again. But that didn’t mean I was ready to see her now. “Oh.”

Notes

Hello again! I love you guys, you guys are so awesome in your comments and stuff, it makes me smile! <3 Thank you for everything

Soo what do you think? About Vic’s thoughts? Mike and his fighting? Kayla?
Oh and, Alyssa coming back?!?! Wooo! Yay, but what kind of problems will that cause?
Leave me your thoughtssss :)

PS

Check out Scarlett's oneshot!!!! It's so good it will leave you speechless, I bet. Takes Me Back. Comment on it and stuff! It's incredible :')