“Vic!” Mike laughed, grabbing my shoulder and preventing me from exiting the bus.

“What?” I laughed back, unsure as to what we were laughing at, though.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” Mike asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I already took them!” I exclaimed. He rolled his eyes and laughed again.

“By something, I mean someone,” he clarified. I widened my eyes.

“Oops,” I laughed a little. I turned back into the bus, jogging back to the bunks where Kayla was still sleeping. Everyone else was already out and about. Kayla could probably sleep through a nuclear war.

“Babe,” I whispered into her ear. I sat down on the edge of her bunk and turned towards her. “Kaylaaaaa,” I sang. I poked her cheek and her eyes fluttered open. She groaned.

“What?” she asked gruffly.

“You’re a little ray of sunshine today,” I said, pinching her cheeks sarcastically.

“You know I’m not a morning person,” she huffed. She hoisted her upper body up and leaned into me for a hug. I chuckled and rubbed her back.

“It’s the afternoon,” I teased.

“Eh, same difference,” she shrugged her shoulders, pulling away.

“Well, we’re home now, anyway. I almost left without you,” I stuck my tongue out at her. She laughed mockingly.

“Thanks for waking me, asshole,” she grumbled. I laughed again and ruffled her hair, standing up.

“You coming?” I asked, seeing that she had plopped back down.

“Maybe.”

“The bed inside is a lot more comfortable. I might even cuddle with you if you’re nice,” I said. Her eyes opened and she giggled a little, rolling out of the bunk. She grabbed her few belongings that we hadn’t packed up yet and jumped up, kissing my cheek, before walking off of the bus. So sassily she swayed her hips as she exited, not a care in the world that she was literally only wearing my t-shirt and her pajama shorts. I chuckled and rolled my eyes. Just like the day I met her—she hadn’t really changed at all.

She had a fierce attitude and then a sweet personality. A little over a year ago, I met her at a club one night after a show. Needless to say we hit it off immediately and we couldn’t keep our hands off of each other since.

I grabbed my stuff and hopped off of the bus, nodding goodbye to our driver before entering the house that I shared with Mike and whoever we happened to be seeing. Mike was on and off with a girl, while Kayla was the first long term relationship that I have had in a while.

I put all my stuff down, deciding to unpack later. I kicked my shoes off and found Kayla already curled up in our bed. That girl sure liked her beauty sleep—she was definitely beautiful, though. Her hair was like silk and her skin was like velvet. Her eyes held a fiery gaze and burned holes into my skin—somehow that was a good thing. She was six years younger than me but I didn’t think the age gap was too bad—I was nearly thirty one years old but she gave me so much fresh energy.

I ran into the room and dove onto the bed, causing her to yelp in surprise. “Hey.”

“Hey, dumby,” she stuck her tongue out at me. I chuckled and adjusted myself, laying on my left side so my chest was pressed against her right side. She turned her head to the right so her face was pressed into my arm.

“Take a picture with me?” she asked into my shoulder. “You’re so cute right now,” she giggled, lifting her head back up and then poking my cheek. I turned my head quickly to try and bite her finger, but she had already ripped it away quickly.

“Aggressive much,” she laughed. I grinned and snuck a kiss on her lips. I buried my head into her neck when she lifted the camera to snap a picture. When I heard the shutter sound, I pulled away to look at it. It was cute—Kayla smiled so widely that her eyes were squinted and just the back of my head was showing, my curly hair messily sprawled around her. “Do you want to post it or me?” she asked.

“You go ahead,” I laughed. She smiled and started typing away at a caption—Finally home! Snuggle time! I grinned and wrapped my arms around her thin frame, pulling her into me.

“Your fans hate me,” she laughed after a minute.

“Hate is a strong word.”

“Fine. They strongly dislike me.”

“What kind of shit do they say?” I asked, cuddling closer to her. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. A lot of it is just, ‘he’s my idol, don’t hurt him.’ Those kinds of things,” she said, shrugging her shoulders. I nodded, resting my chin on her shoulder as she scrolled through her instagram comments for me to see. I hardly looked through my own comments on there, so I didn’t know what people were saying. I expected that Kayla—like any band member girlfriend or boyfriend—would receive an ounce of both love and hate from the fans. It was just part of the job.

“The feels man. The feels.”

“SO FUCKING CUTE!”

“I think she tries too hard. Kinda annoying tbh.”

“Yeah I don’t like her. Not a good vibe.”

“Leave her alone! If Vic is your idol then you should respect who he dates. None of your business either.”

“Hey you’re really pretty please keep vic happy we love him and don’t want to see him hurt thanks.”

“Am I the only one who liked him better with Alyssa????”

“Who’s Alyssa??”

My eyes widened at the comments. A lot of them were normal fan banters that we could both easily brush off, but I definitely wasn’t expecting that.

“Yeah who’s Alyssa? I didn’t hear about her.”

“Rumor has it that vic used to date tony’s sister!”

“Tony has a sister??”

“That’s so fucking awkward hahahahah.”

“Who’s his sister?”

“GUYS!!!!!!!!!! It’s a rumor chill out. That was like so long ago too.”

“Where’s the respect? He’s in a committed relationship now leave it alone.”

“^^^^^^^^A million times this. Smh.”

“Well that is some drama,” I said, chuckling a little nervously. “Sorry you have to deal with that, Kay—”

“Who’s Alyssa?” she asked with a frown. I rolled my eyes.

“Are you really thinking that much into their comments? They don’t know what they’re talking about. I love ‘em, but they just don’t know,” I said firmly.

“But does Tony actually have a sister named Alyssa that you used to date?” she pressed.

“God, Kay, just leave it alone!” I groaned. “You shouldn’t even be looking at those. It’s just gossip. You’re sounding just like them.”

Kayla dropped her jaw and sat up angrily, slapping her hand down on the mattress after moving away from me. “You don’t get to tell me what I should and should not be looking at. If I want to look at the comments I fucking will, and if I have an issue with something I’ll fucking address it!”

“You never know when to leave things alone,” I sighed roughly, sitting up, too.

“You’re hiding something and I don’t like it!” she accused with a yell.

“Drop it, Kayla!” I yelled back. “It shouldn’t matter to you. I’m with you now and that’s all you should care about,” I growled, frustrated that she was pressing so hard on the topic.

“You’re not going to be with me in a minute if you stop being such a fucking asshole,” she said lowly and angrily. My angry facial expression softened and my shoulders sunk.

“I’m sorry, okay? It just struck a nerve,” I said quietly, rubbing my face with my hand. I tried not to close my eyes because I had a feeling I would see Alyssa—I didn’t think of her often and I felt guilty for that fact. It was surprising, too, considering she was Tony’s sister. But we hardly saw her anymore—I haven’t seen her in legitimate years.

“Hey, it’s okay, Vic,” Kayla said softly. “Don’t cry,” she cooed. She touched her palms to my shoulders, pulling me into her. I rested my head on her shoulder and she rubbed my back supportively.

“I don’t now why they suddenly found out about her,” I murmured. “She meant a lot to me ten years ago,” I mumbled. She still does.

“I understand,” Kayla said softly. “I’m sorry I got angry. It was silly of me. You would have told me if it was important,” she said.

I sighed. But it is important, I thought sadly. She is important.

Kayla didn’t know about Alyssa. She didn’t know about my life ten years ago. She knew I grew up with problems, but, in her eyes, who didn't? She thought that the two pills I took every morning and night were for anxiety; she thought that I wouldn’t be able to go on stage without them. I guess she knew that I struggled with my confidence sometimes and was constantly stressed about what people would think about new songs, which was why I took forever writing them, making sure they were perfect. But she had no idea about the mental illness that remained dormant in my mind yet still lurked at every corner and could strike at any time.

“Yeah, I would have,” I sighed. “We’re just both tired. It was a long tour,” I said, blaming my sensitivity and our brief yelling on that. She nodded and rubbed my back. I pulled away and smiled softly. I didn’t mean to start to tear up, but even Tony hasn’t mentioned his sister in so long, it was a shock to start thinking about her again. And of course I felt guilty, too—you would think that every morning and night, when I took my pills, I would think of her at least once. But ten years is a long time and people change without even meaning to. People move on and lives go in different directions.

I only hoped that while I wasn’t thinking of Alyssa, she wasn’t thinking of me, either.

Notes

Omg GUYS!!!! Your response already has been wonderful I can't even asdfghj

THANK YOU. Even though you all hate me right now, I love you guys

Thanks for reading, stay tuned for more very soon!!

xoxo,
Claire