I Never Meant To Be Your Pain

I lie in the middle of Tony’s bed, snuggled into his soft blankets and pillows as he took off his shirt and searched his dresser for pajama bottoms. I studied the colorful tattoos that covered his chest and back, laughing at the turtle on his arm.
“Thanks for letting me crash here, Tone.” He looked at me over his shoulder and smiled.
“Of course Ava; you’re always welcome here.” I looked up to the ceiling.
“So I’m guessing Gabe and Jace told you what happened?” He was quiet as he turned off his bedroom light and crawled into bed next to me. He propped his head up on his hand and looked down at me.
“I know you’re mad at Gabe, and what he said came out wrong; I agree with you there. But he didn’t mean it like that.”
“What else was it supposed to mean Tony? He basically called me a slut.”
“He just gets worried about you. Drugs mess you up, leaving the opportunity open for anyone to take advantage of you.”
“Those pills messed me up last night and I was aware enough to scream when you tried to change my clothes,” I pointed out.
“The point is, Gabe doesn’t want anything happening to his little sister.”
“I’m old enough to protect myself.” I looked up to Tony who was frustrated with my stubbornness.
“Have you given anymore thought about going on tour with us?” he asked softly, changing the subject.
“Yeah,” I sighed. “I don’t know if I can do it.”
“It’ll help you quit…”
“I don’t know if I’m strong enough to quit, Tony.”
“You are, I know you are. I’ll be there to help you.”
“Withdrawals aren’t fun. I’m going to look like a crazy freak in front of all the guys. They don’t even know about my addiction… what if they find out and don’t like me anymore? They’ll look at me differently.”
“The guys aren’t judgmental like that and you know it. Maybe they wouldn’t be happy about your addiction but I’m sure they’d be willing to help you just as much as I am.”
“When do you guys leave again?”
“A few days... We’ll be gone for a week or two.”
“Did you talk to the guys about it?”
“No, I wanted to know what you were going to do.” I ran my hand down his arm and laced my fingers with his, laying my head down on his chest. He brushed my hair back and kissed my forehead.
“What if I break?”
“Then we’ll go in the back lounge and we can watch a movie or something to help you calm down.” I snuggled in closer to his chest and closed my eyes. I hope he was prepared for what was going to happen when I broke. I don't think he had a clue what was coming.

Notes