“I’m not fucking mad!” I shouted, slamming my fist down on the counter.

“Clearly,” Tony muttered, crossing his arms as he leaned against the doorway, blocking my path.

I sighed. “Tony, just please, leave me alone.”

“No. Not until you let me explain.”

I laughed darkly, unamused. “Explain? Explain what? I saw the pictures Tony; I think I have a pretty good idea of what exactly happened.”

He sighed and closed his eyes. “Rori, please, just let me explain.”

I shook my head as the hot tears began to form behind my eyes but I wasn’t going to cry, I wasn’t going to let him see me cry. “I told you when this first started Tony. One time, that was it, it was only going to take one time for me to leave and I meant it. I don’t care who she is or what happened, how fucking drunk you were, I’m not going to stay and pretend like nothing happened.”

“Nothing happened Rori!” he yelled but it wasn’t angry or loud, it was desperate and sad. “I wouldn’t do that to you, just please, let me explain.”

“You kissed her.” I stated flatly, staring down at the counter.

“She kissed me. I didn’t kiss her back Rori; it might have taken me a bit to push her away – long enough for someone to take a picture – but I was so shocked Rori. I just wasn’t expecting it. I’m sorry.”

I scoffed. “You’re sorry. Sorry for what Tony? That it happened? That you didn’t realize that it wasn’t me kissing you? Or are you sorry that I found out because someone sent me a picture over twitter? You didn’t fucking tell me! I had to find out from one of my fans! Why wouldn’t you tell me?” my voice broke at the end but I was still holding back the tears.

“I was scared,” he finally said, leaving his post in the doorway and coming closer to me. “I love you so much Rori and I’m terrified that one of these days I’ll fuck up and do something that I will regret and you’ll leave because of it. I can’t lose you, I just can’t.”

“So you thought not telling me was the best option? Did you honestly think that I would never find the photo?”

Tony sighed. “No, of course not, I just, I was going to tell you, I just wanted it to be in person, so that I could explain it. This wasn’t the welcome home I was expecting.” He muttered with another sigh.

“And you think I was? Tony, my god, I can’t even.” I sighed. “Tony, I trust you. I really do, I’ve known you too damn long to not trust you. But you have to trust me too. If you had just called me and told me what happened the night that it happened, I mean don’t get me wrong, I would probably still be pissed, but at least I would already know what happened before I found the damn photo. Do you know what ran through my head the moment I saw that? I thought that my mom was right.” I said quietly, this time I couldn’t control the tear that escaped and I closed my eyes, shaking my head.

“Please don’t say that,” Tony whispered, coming closer to me and he placed his hand on mine that was still braced against the counter. “Please don’t say that. I love you Rori and I made a mistake, I should have told you right away. I know that now and it’s been eating away at me but Rori, I promise you, it meant nothing. I pushed her away, I didn’t kiss her back, you are the only one I want.”

“I’m going to bed,” I said quietly and pulled away from him.

He sighed as I walked away from him and made my way down the hallway. I heard his footsteps following me as I entered our bedroom. I went over to the dresser as Tony took a seat on the bed and I felt his gaze on me the entire time as I grabbed some pajamas.

“You’re not sleeping in here, are you?” he guessed with a sad voice.

“I just need to think,” I answered quietly as I headed back out the room and down into the guest bedroom.

I closed the door and flopped down on the bed, finally shedding the tears that I had been holding in. I brought my hands up to cover my eyes as I lay there, just trying to process everything. I knew that Tony meant what he said, that it didn’t mean anything, that it was just some girl who made a move on him but I couldn’t get it out of my head. It wasn’t the first time a girl pounced on him, hell it had happened many times, but he always told me, or I was there when it happened. If it wasn’t for the fact that we were now engaged, if it wasn’t for my mother’s hurtful words repeating in my head, I knew that we wouldn’t be fighting like this right now.

I sighed as I let my arms fall down to my sides. I couldn’t do this, I couldn’t handle this. I loved Tony and I knew he loved me. I knew that the only reason he didn’t tell me was because he knew it would just confirm what my mother said. But my mother was wrong. Tony was nothing like that, he wasn’t my father and I wasn’t going to let my mother or some blonde skank who can’t keep her hands to herself ruin what Tony and I have worked so hard for.

So I got up and made my way toward the door, opening it and walking straight into our bedroom. Tony was now lying in bed, shirtless with his hands behind his head as he stared up at the ceiling. I didn’t even think twice as I climbed into the bed and snuggled into him. His arms wrapped around me instantly and I knew that we would be okay.

Tony and I would be able to get through anything.

I wiped furiously at my eyes as I lay awake in this bed, this bed that felt cold and lonely. Why was I even in here? Things were going so well; I was finally starting to remember. I wasn’t mad at Tony and as I laid here in this bed, I realized that the only time I ever came in this room was when we used to get in a fight or when I just needed time to think and I didn’t have time to go to the beach or to the park. I also realized that I had never once actually slept in the room for a full night. I always went back and made up with Tony because I couldn’t stand being away from him when he was here, only a few rooms away.

So I got up and left this room, this room that somehow seemed to solve my problems and I made my way back to the bedroom I shared with Tony. The door was opened slightly but the lights were off so I pushed it open quietly, just in case Tony was already asleep. I didn’t hear his snoring though and I knew that he was a pretty obnoxious snorer so I was pretty sure he wasn’t asleep. I closed the door and made my way over to the bed –which was a pretty hard thing to do in the dark now that I thought about. I finally found the bed though and climbed in, feeling Tony’s body as I laid down.

He shifted when I got in and as my eyes adjusted to the darkness he turned around so that he could face me. He didn’t say anything and he didn’t make any moves to reach out for me so I knew I had to be the one to make the first move. I laid on my side so that we were facing the other and I finally found the courage to speak.

“I’m sorry,” I said quietly, scooting a little closer to him.

“It was too much, wasn’t it?” he asked softly, a hint of sadness in his voice.

“No; well, I mean kind of but that’s not,” I took in a deep breath and let it out as a sigh. “I’m just scared Tony.”

“What are you scared of? Remembering me?” he asked, a hint of confusion in his voice.

“No,” I whispered. “I’m scared that I won’t remember you.”

“Rori,” Tony said with a sympathetic sigh. “You will remember. The doctors said there is no reason for you not to. There was no permanent damage done from the accident, it was just a rare case. You will remember and I will be right here until you do.”

“What if it takes a long time Tony? I remember enough to know that you leave for tour on August 6th. I remembered that we’re supposed to be getting married on August 3rd. I remember so much of our life yet I can’t just put it all together for it to make sense. It’s frustrating and annoying and I just –“

“Rori, Rori, hey, calm down okay? There is still plenty of time. I don’t want you to feel rushed or anything because I will be right here until you remember this life, your life, our life. I will never leave you, I promise you that. But right now though, just relax. I know that you’re exhausted and that you haven’t been sleeping well so please, before you give me a panic attack, get some rest okay?”

“I’m really sorry Tony,” I whispered sadly.

I truly was. I didn’t feel sorry for myself anymore, I didn’t care if I didn’t know who I was I was just sorry that I was putting Tony through this. He was a great, sweet guy. He had been there for me when I needed him and now I wasn’t there when he needed me.

“Please stop apologizing,” he pleaded. “Rori, none of this is your fault and I just wish you would realize that.”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Yes. You are allowed to ask me anything, anytime you want.” He said with a small laugh.

I smiled slightly. “Please be honest; why doesn’t my mom like you? Why did she stop talking to me when I told her we were getting married?” I had to know, with the flashback I just had in the room, the curiosity was eating away at me.

Tony sighed deeply and took a moment for what I assumed was to gather his thoughts.

“A lot of it has to deal with your Dad. You see, not only was he a drunk, he was a drunk who liked to play guitar for a local band down at the bar. When he died, it was around the same time that I started to get really serious about the band and we played a lot of local gigs. Of course, I started drinking, nothing bad just getting drunk every now and then, you know, typical teenager stuff. You didn’t mind it because you knew that it was nothing like what your dad would do. Your mom found out though and she hated it, she didn’t want you to end up like her, with a dead beat for a husband.

“Around the time that you tried to…hurt yourself, we had gotten into a pretty big argument, me and you. I called you up one night when I was completely shit faced and had you come pick me up from this party because I was, well, shitfaced. It was about a week after your dad died and after you picked me up you said something about how you wished I wouldn’t drink so much. I flipped out of course and you ended up dropping me off at Jaime’s house because you were so pissed and I was drunk and fucked up and didn’t care.

“I felt like a total and complete ass and I stayed outside your window the whole next day until you let me in so I could talk to you. You forgave me, something I really didn’t deserve, and I told you that I was done drinking. Then, in true Rori form you freaked out again because you said that you didn’t want me to stop because you felt like you were controlling my life and that’s not what you wanted to do. You knew that I wasn’t your dad and I could control myself but I still argued and we ended up fighting again and you told me not to call you because you just needed time to yourself, to think about everything and I shouldn’t have listened to you but I did.

“I didn’t realize that you were pushing me away because you how your dad’s death affected you though. You were really good at hiding your feelings – even now people don’t understand how none of them noticed it. When you called me that night, it was the first time we had talked in two days. You weren’t answering any of my calls when I tried to reach you before and your Mom always told me to go away when I came over because she knew you didn’t want to see me and she was still pissed that I was drinking. But anyways, after that, your Mom never really looked at me the same.

“She blamed me because she thought that if I had never started drinking in the first place then you wouldn’t have pushed me away and I would have been there and none of that would have ever happened. It didn’t matter that the night you did that that she was down at the bar - like a true hypocrite - drinking her sorrows away when she should have been there with you because unlike everyone else, she saw the way that you were isolating yourself and she did nothing, she was too busy feeling sorry for herself.

“That night at the hospital she confronted me and told me that I wasn’t allowed to see you anymore. She said that I was just going to turn out to be a deadbeat guitar player with no future, just like your dad. She said I was only hurting you, keeping you around, and that I would drag you down with me. She started telling you that you weren’t allowed to see me either and that you needed to forget about me. You didn’t listen to her though and that’s when your guys’ relationship really started to take a turn for the worst. You believed in me, you believed in us and you wouldn’t let me stay away from you, even if I wanted to.”

Tony stopped talking and we laid there in silence. I was speechless, my mind spinning in circles as I tried to wrap my head around everything my mother said and did. How could she have been so heartless? Tony was nothing like my father and he would never be my father. I glanced back up at Tony and that was when I saw the tears coating his cheeks and I reached up, brushing them away with my fingertips.

“She was wrong Tone. My Mother was wrong and she should have never said any of that.”

“I know.” Tony said quietly, leaning into my hand that was now cupping his cheek. “I never really took what she said to heart because I knew that I wouldn’t end up like that. I would never hurt you like that; I care about and love you too much to ever do that to you. Once the band got big though, your mom started to twist things around again. She would tell you that I was just using you and that when I went on tour I was constantly cheating on you and that I didn’t love you anymore. She said that the only reason I kept you around was because I was too afraid that you would try and hurt yourself again if I left you. When you told her that we were getting married, that was when she completely lost it. She said she wasn't going to watch you fail and that when things came crashing down around you that you would deserve it for not listening to her.”

“Oh my god,” I whispered, shocked. I was horrified, I knew nothing about my mother and I couldn’t believe that I actually felt comforted by her presence before.

“I’ve never cheated on you, you know. I know she said something like that at the hospital the other day but I swear, Rori, I love you and even though I might have had a few crazy fans overstep their boundaries, I never reciprocated it.”

“I know Tone, I wasn’t too worried about it to be honest.” I said with a small smile.

“Why not?” he asked curiously.

I bit my lip as I blushed. “Well, I mean, I kind of figured that if you really didn’t care about me, you would have left by now.”

“I will never leave you,” he whispered fiercely, grabbing my hand and holding it tightly in his.

“And I will come back to you, I promise.”

“I know you will,” he said with a smile and I couldn’t help but smile back before I yawned.

He chuckled. “I think you’ve had a pretty long day; maybe you should get some sleep?”

I giggled. “Sounds lovely.”

I yawned again and I snuggled closer to Tony, placing my head on his chest. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close and I briefly remembered him kissing the top of my head before I drifted off into a peaceful slumber.

---

I woke up the next morning still lying on Tony’s chest. He was snoring loudly in my ear and I wasn’t sure why but it didn’t bother me. I chuckled and untangled his arms from around me before I climbed out of the bed, trying not to wake him. I quickly changed and then headed out into the kitchen, deciding that I was going to try and make some breakfast – even if Tony said I wasn’t allowed to cook. After searching in the pantry and fridge for nearly ten minutes though, I quickly realized that there was no food in the house that would make a decent enough meal.

I glanced over at the clock to see that it was just past ten in the morning and I decided that I would run to the grocery store so that I could restock the place. I grabbed my purse and keys off the counter and I checked back in on Tony to find him still sleeping, still snoring like a freight train so I just let him be and headed out the door. I got in my car and headed for the store, thinking back to everything that happened last night.

I felt horrible, stupid, because I probably scared the shit of Tony when I went and “slept” in the guest bedroom. Then, he told me all that stuff about my mom and I just felt angry. I was angry that my mother had done all that, said all that, and then acted like it never fucking happened. More importantly, I felt awful because I had forgotten Tony, the person who had been there for me for everything and who loved me unconditionally yet I had remembered my mother, who was basically the exact opposite. My life was seriously such a fucking mess.

I sighed and before I knew it, I had spent almost four hours at the grocery store. Is that even possible? Jesus Christ I had serious problems. When I finally made my way up to the checkout line – with an overflowing cart of food – I started to dig though my purse, searching for my phone only to realize that I had left it at home, still charging on the nightstand in the guest bedroom. Of course, just my luck. I finished checking out and then made my way back outside to load up my car. The drive back home was quicker than I expected and I got an uneasy feeling in my stomach when I pulled into the driveway to see a bunch of cars I didn’t recognize.

I grabbed my purse and started to head inside, deciding that there was too much stuff for me to carry in by myself and I was honestly curious as to what was going on. I opened the door and heard what sounded like worried voices coming from the kitchen and living room area and I hesitantly made my way over there, realizing that there was a crowd of people in my house that I probably wouldn’t remember but I couldn’t exactly hide from. I took a deep breath before I rounded the corner and my eyes widened at the scene in front of me.

Everyone was huddled over in the living room and I mean everyone. Sam was there, and Mike and I even recognized Vic and Jaime from all the pictures in the hallway. There were two other girls that looked vaguely familiar but I couldn’t put a name to their faces. My nerves spiked at the sight of all these people in my house but it wasn’t until I looked over at the couch that I really started to get anxious.

Tony was sitting down on the couch, his elbows on his knees and his head cradled in his hands. Everyone went silent as they finally noticed my presence and Vic reached over and nudged Tony on the arm. Tony’s head snapped up and it was only then that I noticed he looked panic stricken and I was almost positive he had been crying.

What the hell happened?

Notes

Rori's mom is a bitch, this chapter sucks, and I don't even know what happened.....

What do you think happened guys; why is everyone at the house, why is Tony so upset??