I woke up just as exhausted as I had been when I went to sleep. I might have slept for twelve hours the day before but unfortunately that was not enough time to make up for all the sleep I had lost since waking up in the hospital almost a week ago. I couldn’t help but shudder as I thought back to that night. The pain was unbearable, the beeping coming from the machines was annoying and obnoxious and the thing that had rendered me nearly paralyzed with fear was the fact that I had no idea where I was, who I was, what the hell had even happened.

Have you ever just felt so lost and confused that the only reaction you have is to burst into hysterics and cry and scream and yell and panic because nothing in your life makes sense? I have. That’s exactly what I did and even though some parts of this memory were extremely hazy and blurred I remember how I had been quickly surrounded by doctors and nurses and there was more yelling and more panic and I eventually saw someone stick a needle in the IV I was hooked up to and before I even knew what was happening I suddenly felt this overwhelming calm come over me and then the next thing I knew I was surrounded by darkness.

The next time I woke up, or at least the next time I remembered I woke up, I was laying in the same bed and I saw my mother sitting in the chair off in the corner. I didn’t panic as much because I finally saw that my mother – whom I remembered – was sitting in the room with me. Something still felt wrong though and I couldn't quite place what it was. I remember that my hand had felt cold, such a weird feeling to have when you’ve just woken up from a medically induced coma but I remembered that feeling and I couldn’t help but wonder why it had bothered me so much. There was a lack of warmth in my hand that I was certain I had felt when I was under, almost as if someone had been holding my hand. Now though, my hand felt cold and my mother was too far away and too preoccupied with her schoolwork to notice I had woken up, let alone be over here holding my hand.

I wasn’t sure who had been holding my hand but I was more than positive that someone had been and I wanted to feel it again. It took my longer than it should have to realize that other than my mother, I still had no idea what was going on. That was when I panicked again and I was once again surrounded by doctors and before I knew it I was in the dark, again.

“Rori?”

I jumped at the sound of my mother’s voice and glanced over at the door.

“What are you doing hunny? We have to leave in twenty minutes.” She said, furrowing her eyebrows as she saw me sitting on the edge of my bed still dressed in my pajamas.

“Oh, right, sorry,” I muttered and stood up.

She smiled at me and then nodded her head before she gently closed the door, leaving it open just a crack and I let out a low growl and swiftly made my way to the door to close it completely. I sighed and turned around, running a hand through my long hair before I made my way over to the closet. I had found it strange that when my mother had first brought me here that my clothes had been stuffed in a rather large suitcase but now it made sense; all my clothes had been at mine and Tony’s house and this was a bag that he had probably packed for me.

I frowned at the thought and started to dig through the bag. I pulled out some jean shorts and put those on; replacing the cotton ones I had worn to bed before I started looking for a shirt. I let out a frustrated sigh, not finding anything that I wanted to wear before I just decided to flip the bag over and dump the contents on the ground. Much better. I sorted quickly through them all until a black shirt caught my eye. I picked it up, thinking it be just a plain black tee but when I turned it around I couldn’t help but smile and I found myself drifting away to another time I had worn that very shirt.

I tapped my fingers on the counter impatiently as I watched the bag of popcorn slowly start to rise up as it spun around in the microwave. I was making faces in the reflective glass of the door, just trying to pass the time and I sighed and rolled my eyes before I leaned back into the counter and crossed my arms and let out a small groan, tipping my head back and closing my eyes. I heard a small chuckle and lifted my head back up and turned around, seeing Tony standing in the kitchen doorway, leaning against the doorframe with an amused smile on his face.

“How long have you been there?” I questioned, squinting my eyes at him.

“Since you put in the popcorn,” he answered with a smirk.

“What have you been doing?”

“Just watching you,” he said with a shrug.

I let out a small scoff and rolled my eyes before I turned back around. I heard him laugh and then he came closer, opening one of the cabinets and pulling out a large bowl just as the microwave dinged.

“Finally,” I muttered and went to open the door.

“You know, it almost seems like you’re excited to watch this movie,” Tony noted with a smirk, handing me the bowl.

“Ha!” I snorted and shook my head. “You wish; I’m just excited for the popcorn.”

“Oh come on Rori, you don’t have to lie to me anymore, I know you secretly love Star Wars,” he said playfully, raising his eyebrows.

I giggled. “Trust me, I don’t.”

“Oh yeah? Your shirt seems to suggest differently.”

I glanced down at the black shirt I was wearing; the words Star Wars sprawled across the chest in the signature font, and smiled. “Well, you see, my very sweet and very Star Wars obsessed fiancé got this for me and I would hate to hurt his feelings if I didn’t wear it.”

He grinned. “So that’s your excuse?”

“Yup,” I answered, popping the p and giving him a cheeky grin before I grabbed the bowl of popcorn and headed for the living room.

He laughed again and he started to follow me. We both sat on the couch and he pulled me close to him, wrapping his arm around me as I started the movie. I sighed in content and snuggled into his side as I set the popcorn between us. It was about halfway through the movie and I had quickly gotten bored, of course, and was sitting there, playing on my phone while Tony watched his movie.

“What is Sam’s name in your phone?” he suddenly asked.

“Huh?” I mumbled, turning to see him staring at my phone curiously as I replied to Sam’s message.

“Does that say Big Booty Judy?” he asked with amused confusion.

“Yes, it does, how did you even know it was Sam though?” I laughed.

He smiled. “I remember you called her that one time and I’m pretty sure you don’t know any other Judy’s so it was just a guess.”

“Yeah, apparently people used to call her that in high school because she has a big ass and now I make fun of her for it.” I explained with a shrug.

He chuckled. “I will honestly never understand you two.”

“What?” I laughed. “Just because I have her as a weird name in my contact list? I barely have anyone’s real name as their contact name. Yours is Han Solo.”

“It is not,” he uttered in amused disbelief, the movie in the background now forgotten.

“Is so,” I argued and exited it out of my message with Sam so I could pull up his conversations.

He laughed. “Why is my name Han Solo?”

I shrugged. “You’ve called me Princess Leia before and you’re the Han Solo to my Leia.” I couldn’t help but bite my lip as I felt my cheeks heat up.

He looked at me, raising his eyebrows. “I knew you liked this movie.” He smirked.

“Ugh, shut up,” I muttered, pushing him away and starting to get up.

He quickly grabbed my hips and pulled me back down and into his lap. “No, don’t leave,” he whined and nuzzled his face into my neck.

“You’re being mean,” I pouted and leaned away from him.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered into my neck and I held back a shiver. “You’ll always be my Princess Leia. That’s not your name in my phone though.” He said and placed a kiss at the base of my throat.

“No?” I asked, knowing it had been that at one point.

“Nope,” he answered and shook his head, causing his stubble to tickle my chin.

I giggled, pushing him away slightly. “Then what is it? It better not be Rori.” I said giving him a look.

He laughed. “Of course it wouldn’t be your name,” he said sarcastically before he smiled and bit his lip. “It’s actually Fiancée.”

“What? Really?” I asked, surprised.

“Of course, Rori, I’ve been wanting to ask you to marry me since I could remember. As unmanly as it sounds, I’ve always known that you were ‘the one.’ I love you, always have and always will. I can’t wait to call you mine forever.” He spoke softly, placing gentle kisses along my jawline as he spoke.

“So what will my name be when we get married?” I whispered, pulling his face toward mine and kissing his smiling lips.

“My wife.”

I sniffled as the tears fell from my eyes and I quickly wiped them away. I tugged off my oversized sweater I had worn to bed and put on the Star Wars shirt and I smiled. It was a sad smile though. I hated this, absolutely hated that I couldn’t remember being with Tony. Instead I was left with flashbacks that may as well have been something out of a romantic movie because as much as I wanted to admit that I was remembering the feelings I had for him, I wasn’t. I would come back from these loved filled memories still having no feelings at all for the attractive tattooed man that for up until about a week ago had been my entire world. Right now he was just some man who found me on the beach.

It was so much worse than that though because I knew he meant something to me. I could feel it, in my bones. Whenever we were together, I felt this urge, this tug, this pull to want to be even closer to him. I wanted him to hold me and wrap his arms around me and never let me go. I wanted to want him. Even though I didn’t know him, as impossible as it sounded, I knew that he was the one. He was mine, he was my person, my soul mate. It didn’t make any sense at all but even if my brain didn’t remember him, my heart obviously did.

I was in love with someone I didn’t even know. Tony was like this dream to me and all I wanted to do was wake up and remember him, to remember what we had, to feel that love that I could feel in my flashbacks.

I stood up, hearing my mother call my name again and I kicked at the pile of clothes on the floor in frustration. I felt the hot angry tears behind my eyelids but this time I kept them away, not wanting to freak my mother out when I went downstairs.

It wasn’t fair. I just wanted to remember.

---

“Hey mom,” I said nervously as we stepped out of the elevator and began to walk down the hall, toward the Neurology department of the hospital.

“What’s wrong hunny?” she asked, hearing the tone in my voice.

“I, um, I forgot to tell you something,” I said and chewed my lip nervously.

“What do you mean Rori?” she asked in confusion.

“I’ve been seeing Tony,” I blurted out in a rush.

“What?” she asked with a deadpanned expression that was quickly turning to anger.

“He helps me remember,” I explained in a hushed tone, feeling like a kid once again as she glared down at me, clearing not happy.

“The last thing you need to remember is that wretched boy,” she muttered and let out a heavy sigh.

“He’s my fiancé Mom!” I argued, raising my voice.

“You don’t even remember him!” she practically yelled.

I couldn’t help but flinch at her words. “I’m trying,” I whispered, staring down at my feet.

She sighed. “I’m sorry sweetie, I shouldn’t be yelling at you.” She apologized but I could still hear the annoyance in her voice. “I just don’t think you seeing Tony right now is a good idea.”

“And why is that?”

I quickly turned around at the sound of Tony’s voice and my eyes widened when I saw him standing behind us, glaring at my mother. His posture was stiff and rigid, his lips set in a hard line as he crossed his arms across his chest. From what little I had remembered of Tony he was always sweet and kind and quiet but right now, he was far from that. He was angry and hurt and frustrated and it was all directed at my mother.

I swallowed loudly as I glanced between the two, trying to prepare myself for the shitstorm that was quickly blowing in.

Notes

My apologies for the lack of updates but I was at a little stump and I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do next with this so hopefully the updates will be a little more frequent now that I have a general direction of where I want to take this story but with that being said, my life is a little hectic right now I'm working weird hours and I'm also trying to lose weight so I've been going to the gym a lot so I really only have time to write on my days off so the updates might not be in such a timely manner so once again, I'm sorry but thank for waiting it out with me and I hope you guys are still enjoying this :)