Crooked Young
Chasing Hearts
KARINA'S POV
I never did stay at Mike's that night. After sharing a joint, and playing some random video game, his brother drove me home. Sneaking inside my house was difficult, and the first two attempts were painful, but I managed eventually.
Sitting down at the lunch table, I shot Elise a silly face before opening my sandwich. Meg hadn't turned up for school - I texted her to make sure she was okay, but got no reply.
"So, I was talking to this guy," Elise began excitedly. "Basically, he's in college and he's super hot and we're going out on a date this Saturday!"
"Age?" I requested, laughing a little.
"Twenty fucking three," Elise said, jaw whacking the table.
Shaking my head, I let a smile split my lips as she began to talk about this guy. Apparently he was called Tom, and he met her since her mom hired him as Elise's tutor. It was like one of those student teacher fantasies, apparently.
As she began to describe his physique in great detail, I zoned out and let my eyes wander in search of Tony. I hadn't seen him around all day but, when I passed Mike in the hall, he assured me that he'd turned up.
"Karina!" Elise yelled, pulling my attention back towards her. "Have you even been listening to me?"
I gave her a sorry smile, taking a bite of my sandwich. "I can't find Tony, have you seen him today?"
"Yeah, third period," she nodded. "Are you guys, like, having problems? Is the sex life good?"
Putting my face in my hands, I hid my bright red cheeks as I told her that we weren't, and that it was none of her business (although, just for the record, it was great).
"Well, chill out then," she said obviously.
Just as I went to reply, I felt my phone buzz in my pocket.
From: Tony
Can you meet me at the bleachers now? We need to talk.
"No way," I breathed, eyes widening. I dropped my phone on the table and slid it towards Elise, the look of shock not leaving my face at all. "El, what the fuck?"
Noticing my worried demeanor, she picked up the phone and read the text, and then read it a few more times just to be certain. "Aw babe," she cooed, handing me the device back, "maybe it's nothing?"
"You sound so certain," I said sarcastically, wrapping up what was left of my sandwich. "Do you mind if I go? I don't want to just desert you."
"Fuck off," she laughed. "I have tonnes of friends."
"El, it's early afternoon. The strip club doesn't open until-"
"Go, Kat," she laughed, giving me a reassuring, slight smile. "It'll be okay."
Nodding, I lifted my tray and left the table. After binning my garbage, I (as slowly as possible) headed outside. The sun was beaming, as usual, and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. It was a beautiful day, but I had a feeling that it was soon going to go sour.
Approaching the bleachers, I could see Tony in the shade sitting on top of his bag. I wanted to turn and run. I wanted to avoid the "it's not you, it's me". I just wanted to get out of there. When I was a few meters away, his head lifted, and he looked at me with sad eyes. He wreaked of sympathy, and I hated it. I didn't want his sympathy.
"Hey," he said, standing up.
"Hi," I replied shortly. If he is going to break up with me, he better do it fast. If he is about to tell me that he fucked some bitch at one of Mike's "friend of a friend" parties then I swear to God I will chop his balls off.
I was pulled out of my thoughts by the feeling of Tony's arms around me. "I've missed you," he whispered, voice wavering.
Pulling away, I looked at his face to see not sympathy, but something much heavier. "Look, I have something to tell you," he said, taking a step away as if I was uncomfortable. "I, um, before I say anything, I just want you to know that I really- I've really never felt so much for anyone before you."
Pursing my lips, I prepared myself for the blow. For the gut wrenching blow that was sure to knock tears out of my eyes. Tony looked at the ground, and then at the sky, and then at the school building beyond me, and then back at the ground.
"Last night, I got a call from Meg. She was really upset, which scared me because I thought she might..." He stopped abruptly, seeming having an internal battle with himself. "I thought she was going to kill herself, Karina."
He paused, running his shaky hand through his hair.
"I, uh, I drove over to her house to, y'know, to check on her. She was okay, which was good, but she'd hurt herself. I calmed her down and helped her clean herself up, but she didn't want me to go. I stayed and she put on a movie," he informed me, voice steadily growing more uneven. "And then she got upset again so I tried to tell her it was okay but she didn't stop and then all of a sudden she just leaped on me and kissed me and I didn't know what to do because she's had such a hard night but I didn't like it and I'm with you and-"
Feeling like an idiot, I fought back my tears and took a few baby steps away from Tony. My heart was breaking, both from the fact that Meg was apparently severely ill and that she and Tony had kissed. My boyfriend and my best friend had kissed.
"Karina, please," Tony begged. "Please believe me. I didn't kiss her back, I swear. You know how I feel about you."
Turning around, I looked at the distance back to the school building before comparing it with the space between me and Tony. I need to get away from here. I need to get out. He can't see me cry. He can't see me weak. Figuring I had a chance of outrunning him, I quickly darted in the direction of the building. I just wanted to run away from my problems, like I always did.
Pounding my feet against the concrete, I raced towards the end of the bleachers. I'd accidentally let one tear slip, but promptly wiped it away. My legs were wobbling below me, not willing to hold my weight anymore. It wasn't just my weight, though, it was the weight of the world.
Toppling down, I gripped on to the grass below me. I knew I probably looked quite stupid, but I didn't care. I felt like the world was crumbling around me. The green blades became warped as tears filled my eyes and, faintly, I could hear Tony shouting my name. I curled up in a ball, not caring what anyone thought, and cried into my hands.
"Karina," Tony panted. I felt his hand gingerly touch my back as he kept saying my name, softer and softer each time.
"Leave me alone," I grumbled, trying to sniffle away my tears.
"Not a chance," Tony replied, his hands running up and down my back soothingly.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I inwardly told myself to stop crying. Imagine Meg killed herself, Karina. You could have stopped it. You could have helped her. You could have saved everyone from the years of grief. Just imagine. Its all your fault she's like this already. You were never there for her.
"I'm sorry," Tony said in a strained voice, pulling me out of my thoughts. "Please, just do this for me. No, she won't hate you. What? No, I've told her already."
Confused, I lifted my head up to see Tony on the phone, a look of great frustration in his eyes. I watched for a moment as he argued with the person on the phone - whatever it was, it was urgent.
"Thank you," he said after a moment, exhaling with great relief. He wordlessly handed me the phone, leaving me to guess who it was as I lifted the device to my ear. At first all I could hear was rustling, until...
"Karina?" Meg squeaked hesitantly.
My jaw dropped. I didn't know what to do: I didn't know why he called her, or what he was trying to achieve, but it was just making me feel worse.
"Listen, I am really sorry about, y'know..."
"Kissing my boyfriend?" I replied bitterly. "Or wait, are you talking about the fact you were close to killing yourself and you didn't bother to tell me? I thought I was your best friend, Meg? I thought I was the person you could trust, that you could tell anything to?"
"I-I'm sorry. But I want you to know that Tony didn't kiss back," she bubbled, sounding hurt by her own words. "He pushed me off and shouted at me. He left right away, Karina, I felt so bad. I'm so sorry."
Hearing her cry caused a wave of guilt to come over me. I'd just screamed down the phone at someone who was having a very hard time, and had said some pretty bad things to her whilst doing so.
"Okay," I said calmly, pushing aside my thoughts that were drowning in self pity. "I forgive you."
Glancing over at Tony, his eyes instantly met mine. He looked terrified. I gave him a weak smile before telling Meg that I had to go, and that I would call her back later.
"So?" Tony questioned. "Do you believe me?"
I handed him back the device, "yeah, I just- I just can't believe I've been such a shitty friend. How could I have not known? I must have been missing so many-"
"No no no," Tony rushed, wrapping his arms around me. "You're a great friend, to everyone. I've talked to her a lot about it and there was nothing you could have done, I promise."
Leaning my head against Tony's chest, I sighed tiredly. I didn't want to go to my last few periods, I just wanted to sleep. I wanted to forget about everything and just sleep.
"Come on, we can go get some lunch at McDonalds then find somewhere to park so you can sleep for a while," Tony said in my ear, practically reading my mind.
"Can we go to that little forest place where we went the other weekend?" I questioned, my words followed by a massive yawn.
Tony chuckled, pressing a kiss to my head before pulling away. "We can go anywhere you want."
"Look, Tone! Tone! I'm a walrus, look!"
Averting his eyes from the beautiful horizon, Tony looked at me and then at the fries I'd wedged on front of my two front teeth. He burst out laughing, showing me his perfect smile, and leaned over the centre console.
"Can I have one?" He pouted.
"A walrus never gives away their teeth," I state certainly.
Smirking, Tony jolted forward and grabbed both the fries out of my mouth. Tossing them carelessly aside, he placed his hands on my face and pressed a gentle kiss on my lips.
"Great," I mumbled, putting my hands on his chest. I wanted to teasingly push him away, but I didn't have the strength. He was too addictive. "Now I'm a walrus with no teeth. Thanks a lot, asshole."
"Karina," he laughed softly, resting his forehead against mine.
"Mhm?" I hummed, subconsciously tightening my grip on his shirt as he drew little circles on my neck with the tip of his finger.
"I love you."
I never did stay at Mike's that night. After sharing a joint, and playing some random video game, his brother drove me home. Sneaking inside my house was difficult, and the first two attempts were painful, but I managed eventually.
Sitting down at the lunch table, I shot Elise a silly face before opening my sandwich. Meg hadn't turned up for school - I texted her to make sure she was okay, but got no reply.
"So, I was talking to this guy," Elise began excitedly. "Basically, he's in college and he's super hot and we're going out on a date this Saturday!"
"Age?" I requested, laughing a little.
"Twenty fucking three," Elise said, jaw whacking the table.
Shaking my head, I let a smile split my lips as she began to talk about this guy. Apparently he was called Tom, and he met her since her mom hired him as Elise's tutor. It was like one of those student teacher fantasies, apparently.
As she began to describe his physique in great detail, I zoned out and let my eyes wander in search of Tony. I hadn't seen him around all day but, when I passed Mike in the hall, he assured me that he'd turned up.
"Karina!" Elise yelled, pulling my attention back towards her. "Have you even been listening to me?"
I gave her a sorry smile, taking a bite of my sandwich. "I can't find Tony, have you seen him today?"
"Yeah, third period," she nodded. "Are you guys, like, having problems? Is the sex life good?"
Putting my face in my hands, I hid my bright red cheeks as I told her that we weren't, and that it was none of her business (although, just for the record, it was great).
"Well, chill out then," she said obviously.
Just as I went to reply, I felt my phone buzz in my pocket.
From: Tony
Can you meet me at the bleachers now? We need to talk.
"No way," I breathed, eyes widening. I dropped my phone on the table and slid it towards Elise, the look of shock not leaving my face at all. "El, what the fuck?"
Noticing my worried demeanor, she picked up the phone and read the text, and then read it a few more times just to be certain. "Aw babe," she cooed, handing me the device back, "maybe it's nothing?"
"You sound so certain," I said sarcastically, wrapping up what was left of my sandwich. "Do you mind if I go? I don't want to just desert you."
"Fuck off," she laughed. "I have tonnes of friends."
"El, it's early afternoon. The strip club doesn't open until-"
"Go, Kat," she laughed, giving me a reassuring, slight smile. "It'll be okay."
Nodding, I lifted my tray and left the table. After binning my garbage, I (as slowly as possible) headed outside. The sun was beaming, as usual, and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. It was a beautiful day, but I had a feeling that it was soon going to go sour.
Approaching the bleachers, I could see Tony in the shade sitting on top of his bag. I wanted to turn and run. I wanted to avoid the "it's not you, it's me". I just wanted to get out of there. When I was a few meters away, his head lifted, and he looked at me with sad eyes. He wreaked of sympathy, and I hated it. I didn't want his sympathy.
"Hey," he said, standing up.
"Hi," I replied shortly. If he is going to break up with me, he better do it fast. If he is about to tell me that he fucked some bitch at one of Mike's "friend of a friend" parties then I swear to God I will chop his balls off.
I was pulled out of my thoughts by the feeling of Tony's arms around me. "I've missed you," he whispered, voice wavering.
Pulling away, I looked at his face to see not sympathy, but something much heavier. "Look, I have something to tell you," he said, taking a step away as if I was uncomfortable. "I, um, before I say anything, I just want you to know that I really- I've really never felt so much for anyone before you."
Pursing my lips, I prepared myself for the blow. For the gut wrenching blow that was sure to knock tears out of my eyes. Tony looked at the ground, and then at the sky, and then at the school building beyond me, and then back at the ground.
"Last night, I got a call from Meg. She was really upset, which scared me because I thought she might..." He stopped abruptly, seeming having an internal battle with himself. "I thought she was going to kill herself, Karina."
He paused, running his shaky hand through his hair.
"I, uh, I drove over to her house to, y'know, to check on her. She was okay, which was good, but she'd hurt herself. I calmed her down and helped her clean herself up, but she didn't want me to go. I stayed and she put on a movie," he informed me, voice steadily growing more uneven. "And then she got upset again so I tried to tell her it was okay but she didn't stop and then all of a sudden she just leaped on me and kissed me and I didn't know what to do because she's had such a hard night but I didn't like it and I'm with you and-"
Feeling like an idiot, I fought back my tears and took a few baby steps away from Tony. My heart was breaking, both from the fact that Meg was apparently severely ill and that she and Tony had kissed. My boyfriend and my best friend had kissed.
"Karina, please," Tony begged. "Please believe me. I didn't kiss her back, I swear. You know how I feel about you."
Turning around, I looked at the distance back to the school building before comparing it with the space between me and Tony. I need to get away from here. I need to get out. He can't see me cry. He can't see me weak. Figuring I had a chance of outrunning him, I quickly darted in the direction of the building. I just wanted to run away from my problems, like I always did.
Pounding my feet against the concrete, I raced towards the end of the bleachers. I'd accidentally let one tear slip, but promptly wiped it away. My legs were wobbling below me, not willing to hold my weight anymore. It wasn't just my weight, though, it was the weight of the world.
Toppling down, I gripped on to the grass below me. I knew I probably looked quite stupid, but I didn't care. I felt like the world was crumbling around me. The green blades became warped as tears filled my eyes and, faintly, I could hear Tony shouting my name. I curled up in a ball, not caring what anyone thought, and cried into my hands.
"Karina," Tony panted. I felt his hand gingerly touch my back as he kept saying my name, softer and softer each time.
"Leave me alone," I grumbled, trying to sniffle away my tears.
"Not a chance," Tony replied, his hands running up and down my back soothingly.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I inwardly told myself to stop crying. Imagine Meg killed herself, Karina. You could have stopped it. You could have helped her. You could have saved everyone from the years of grief. Just imagine. Its all your fault she's like this already. You were never there for her.
"I'm sorry," Tony said in a strained voice, pulling me out of my thoughts. "Please, just do this for me. No, she won't hate you. What? No, I've told her already."
Confused, I lifted my head up to see Tony on the phone, a look of great frustration in his eyes. I watched for a moment as he argued with the person on the phone - whatever it was, it was urgent.
"Thank you," he said after a moment, exhaling with great relief. He wordlessly handed me the phone, leaving me to guess who it was as I lifted the device to my ear. At first all I could hear was rustling, until...
"Karina?" Meg squeaked hesitantly.
My jaw dropped. I didn't know what to do: I didn't know why he called her, or what he was trying to achieve, but it was just making me feel worse.
"Listen, I am really sorry about, y'know..."
"Kissing my boyfriend?" I replied bitterly. "Or wait, are you talking about the fact you were close to killing yourself and you didn't bother to tell me? I thought I was your best friend, Meg? I thought I was the person you could trust, that you could tell anything to?"
"I-I'm sorry. But I want you to know that Tony didn't kiss back," she bubbled, sounding hurt by her own words. "He pushed me off and shouted at me. He left right away, Karina, I felt so bad. I'm so sorry."
Hearing her cry caused a wave of guilt to come over me. I'd just screamed down the phone at someone who was having a very hard time, and had said some pretty bad things to her whilst doing so.
"Okay," I said calmly, pushing aside my thoughts that were drowning in self pity. "I forgive you."
Glancing over at Tony, his eyes instantly met mine. He looked terrified. I gave him a weak smile before telling Meg that I had to go, and that I would call her back later.
"So?" Tony questioned. "Do you believe me?"
I handed him back the device, "yeah, I just- I just can't believe I've been such a shitty friend. How could I have not known? I must have been missing so many-"
"No no no," Tony rushed, wrapping his arms around me. "You're a great friend, to everyone. I've talked to her a lot about it and there was nothing you could have done, I promise."
Leaning my head against Tony's chest, I sighed tiredly. I didn't want to go to my last few periods, I just wanted to sleep. I wanted to forget about everything and just sleep.
"Come on, we can go get some lunch at McDonalds then find somewhere to park so you can sleep for a while," Tony said in my ear, practically reading my mind.
"Can we go to that little forest place where we went the other weekend?" I questioned, my words followed by a massive yawn.
Tony chuckled, pressing a kiss to my head before pulling away. "We can go anywhere you want."
"Look, Tone! Tone! I'm a walrus, look!"
Averting his eyes from the beautiful horizon, Tony looked at me and then at the fries I'd wedged on front of my two front teeth. He burst out laughing, showing me his perfect smile, and leaned over the centre console.
"Can I have one?" He pouted.
"A walrus never gives away their teeth," I state certainly.
Smirking, Tony jolted forward and grabbed both the fries out of my mouth. Tossing them carelessly aside, he placed his hands on my face and pressed a gentle kiss on my lips.
"Great," I mumbled, putting my hands on his chest. I wanted to teasingly push him away, but I didn't have the strength. He was too addictive. "Now I'm a walrus with no teeth. Thanks a lot, asshole."
"Karina," he laughed softly, resting his forehead against mine.
"Mhm?" I hummed, subconsciously tightening my grip on his shirt as he drew little circles on my neck with the tip of his finger.
"I love you."
Notes
HI YES HELLO HOW ARE YOU ALL
THIS STORY ONLY HAS A FEW CHAPTERS LEFT
IM REALLY EXCITED FOR THE SEQUEL
I THINK YOU GUYS WILL LIKE IT
also yes the title is the BC song.. its been stuck in my head all day and i just think its hella catchy. Its just really clean and chilled and ughhh yes.
THANK YOU FOR ALL THE SUPPORT, LOVE YOU GUYS <3
OMFG <3
7/6/15