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Wonderless

Let love bleed Red

Its been two weeks since the incident with Mike happened, Kellin had stop cutting since then. After that lil pep talk with Jesse, Kellin tried to forget about Vic and really tried to move on. He even took all of Vic’s stuff out and hid them in boxes just so he wouldnt have to be reminded everyday. It was hard to do when the memories just keep flooding back and he was crying the whole time.

The first week he was ok and was really looking forward to a new beginning but then the next few days Kellin felt so lonely, sure his friends would stop by here and there, but every single night was a sleepless night, he misses Vic, He misses how they would cuddle and sleep together, arms wrap around his waist, He misses their long walks, talks and even pointless fights, he just misses Vic in general. His thoughts soon went back to what had happened with him and Mike. He misses Mike too, he grew fond of the friendship they had formed and whenever he remembers what happened with Mike he feels sad like, the one person he taught
would understand him and could relate to him the most just left him. He feels so alone, he taught that he would finally be happy but that happiness was taken away on a short notice. Just when he taught he would start to feel ok again and maybe start to move on, he keeps remembering the past happenings.

"Should've known better, Should've known better" Kellin kept telling himself. Kellin started to get worse. He’s become so depressed, He fell victim to his lil friend called blade. So desperate to start feeling something, he resorted to cutting again, but who could blame the poor man, He is so lonely and the world kept kicking him down, he’s bound to feel tired on all of this. He
close his eyes and took a final deep breath before finally deciding to just end it. End it all since he’s got nothing left going for him.

He took out a piece of paper and a pen and wrote a final letter to his love. It didnt make any sense to him because Vic is never coming back he said to himself but still he had tiny hope plus, nothing is really making sense to his life anymore he taught to himself. After writing the letter he placed it on an envelope and place it on top of the desk in their room before going to the
bathroom.

1........2......3.......4.......5 for every cut he makes on that beautiful skin of his, he finds comfort, whenever he closes his eyes he sees him, the memories they made over those short three years and all the things they could have become, thats the only time that they could ever be together and he doesnt feel so alone anymore. His cuts gave him a sense of euphoric feeling. He wonders if he’ll ever feel that way again with someone.

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Vic, over the past few months keep having those dreams about this man, he didnt know his name but he has develop a sense of feeling towards the guy even though he thinks they haven't even met before. If its just a crush? He’s not really sure. His favorite part of the day? Its sleeping, cause then that's the time he would see him again, sometimes he taught about never wanting to wake up. He feels like he’s in a relationship with the boy in dreamland. Little did he know that it wasn't all just a dream but its the memories he shared with his real boyfriend, Kellin.

"Should’ve known better Should’ve known better" Vic taught to himself. Vic did not only enjoy the.dreams he was having,He became more concerned about them too, he started questioning his sexuality.
"Am I gay?" He kept asking himself. He doesnt want to be. He doesnt want to be judge by the family he has now.

He decided to test his sexuality by calling Tay. Remember her? Yeah... So Tay has a thing for Vic and Vic would like to take that to his advantage.
They went to rent a room for this afternoon’s events. Tay didnt even complained. After they went to the room, Vic started kissing Tay at first it was just a sweet innocent kiss but then it became needy and then clothes fell to the floor and the rest you can figure out.

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11..... 12.... 13..... 14...... 15...... Kellin kept dragging down the blade to his wrist.

"For everytime I opened my eyes and your’e not here Vic"

16......17........18.......19.......20...... he is loosing a lot of blood and fast. There’s too many cuts some deep, some not.

"if your dead like they say you are then I’ll join you soon enough " he said like he was talking to his boyfriend in person.

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With every thrust Vic makes he feels nothing. He feels a little guilty doing this, although he’s not really sure why? Because he’s pretty much convinced that this boy he keep seeing was only just a figment of his imagination. He just shrugged it off and tried to have a good time with Tay, but whenever he closes his eyes he visions Kellin, well that made him like what he was doing... A looot more....

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"I never want to love someone as much as I loved you Vic" Kellin whisphered.

Kellin kept dragging the blade in his wrist until he cant even make a steady move his hands were shaking so badly.
27...... 28...... 29....... He cant even hold on to the blade anymore he dropped it in the bathroom floors. He needed a second to take a breath.
He picked up the blade again and attempted to make one last cut, this time he was planning to go much deeper but due to the amount of blood he has lost he just dropped the blade again.

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Vic came down from his high and he was pretty sure that he was convince he likes girls. ... For now atleast.....

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Kellin could feel his vision getting blurry by the second, he closed his eyes and he felt a pang and before he knew it he collapse on the floor in his own little puddle of blood. He fought so hard to keep his eyes open but all he saw was lights fading into darkness.

THE END