My sobs had calmed and I was now just lying in Tony’s bunk, alone, in the dark. I couldn’t help but wallow in the irony of this; months ago I would have been perfectly fine with that, being alone in the dark, now though, now I just felt cold and lonely and broken. I took in a deep breath as I felt the sobs trying to climb their way back up. I sucked them down, closing my eyes but the only thing I could see behind my eyelids was Tony’s heartbroken face. I was truly a monster.

The bus stopped then and I about jumped out of my skin when the curtain to Tony’s bunk was suddenly pulled back.

“Oh, sorry,” Vic said quietly when he realized that he had scared me. “But uh, were here, at your apartment, Tony said to drop you off here.”

“Oh, okay, thank you,” I whispered, and tried to hide my wincing when I sat up, my bruised torso a painful reminder of what I needed to do next.

Vic nodded and then led the way for me as we made our way through their large bus. Walking toward the front of the bus I couldn’t help but wonder how well known Tony and his band were; I had never heard of them before he mentioned it but I knew that this bus had to have cost a pretty penny. We came to a stop in what appeared to be a front lounge and I couldn’t help the relief I felt when I didn’t see Tony anywhere. As much as I wanted to see him, to say goodbye one last time, I knew it was better this way, better for the both of us. Jaime was sitting on the couch, talking on the phone when we came in and I just managed to get the last of his conversation.

“…just pulled up in front of her place…alright well just hurry up I guess…yeah, yeah don’t be such a dick Mike…see ya.” Jaime looked up at us then and when he saw me he gave me an apologetic look. “That was Mike,” he explained. “He fell behind at some point but he said he’s about ten minutes away.”

“That’s fine, but um, I’m going to go wait outside, if that’s alright.” I mumbled, starting to walk toward the door and grabbing my bag off the counter when I saw it as I walked by.

“Tone’s in the back, you want me-“ Vic started but I cut him off.

“No!” I nearly shouted. “I mean, um, no. No thank you.” I muttered, wondering if I looked as guilty as I felt.

“Okay,” Vic said and I noticed him and Jaime share a confused look before Jaime pointed toward the door and I quickly opened it, stepping out into the cool early morning air.

I took a deep breath in, smelling the ocean off in the distance, I really missed San Diego. The sun was just starting to rise, coloring the area around me in a golden haze as I took a seat on the curb, just trying to control the panic rushing through my veins. There were so many things on my mind I didn’t even notice that I had been sitting there, my head in my hands while my elbows were on my knees, for what must have been ten minutes because there was suddenly a shadow over me and I looked up quickly to see Mike staring down at me, holding out his hand.

“Here,” he muttered coldly and I realized that he was handing me my car keys.

“Thanks,” I mumbled, taking them from him and trying to avoid his icy stare.

He just scoffed and began to walk away. I heard the door to the bus close and looked up to see Jaime and Vic walking toward us and Mike stopped walking; I stood up then, hoisting my bag up on my shoulder.

“We ready to get going?” Mike asked, not attempting to hide his annoyance.

“Uh, yeah,” Vic said and then he turned his attention toward me, his face slightly confused before he smiled sadly. “Are you going to be okay Effie?”

I forced a smile. “Yeah, I will be. Thank you. Um, seriously though, thank you guys, for everything, I don’t deserve your kindness.”

“No shit,” I heard Mike mutter as he began to walk toward the bus.

“Ignore Mike,” Jaime said, giving a glare at Mike's retreating figure. “We might not know exactly what’s going on but you definitely deserve more than you think you do Effie, hopefully we’ll see you around?” he said, giving me a hopeful expression.

I just smiled, not wanting to get into the reasons why he was wrong, so, so wrong. “Thanks again, really.” I said then and turned, heading for my apartment building.

“You’re not going to say goodbye to him?” I heard Vic ask then and I paused, turning slightly and giving him a sad smile, knowing exactly who he was talking about.

“It’s better this way, really,” I said, though I wasn’t sure if I was trying to convince them or myself. “But um, could you just do me favor? Tell Tony thank you. And that I’m sorry.” I nearly whispered the last part and I wondered if they even heard me but something about the look on their faces made me believe that they did.

Jaime nodded. “Of course.”

“See ya around Effie,” Vic said then and I couldn’t help but hope for his sake that he was wrong.

Just as I was turning I caught sight of a lanky figure leaning against the side of the bus. I paused slightly, watching as Mike smoked a cigarette, his attention on me, watching my every move. Something about the way his gaze was studying me caused an uneasy feeling to form in the pit of my stomach. I quickly composed myself and began to head back toward my apartment, trying to ignore the daggers I felt being shot into my back as Mike continued to watch me.

---

Visiting Lucky again had been hard. Not nearly as hard as it had been seeing Tony again, no, nothing close to that, but it had still been hard. I could tell he was worried about me, his eyes nearly bulging out of his head when he first caught sight of me. He thankfully didn’t push the matter of my health, seeming to realize that I was on a tight schedule because he simply handed me my check then pulled me into an unexpected hug before I left.

“Please be safe,” he whispered and once again I was left speechless by how much someone seemed to care about me.

I had just nodded limply and gave him a small smile before I left, just as he was turning up the music, an old rock song quickly filling the vacant bar as I closed the door, making me smile slightly. I could still here the beat of the music as I walked down the small alley beside the bar, heading toward my car in the back parking lot. Just before I made it out of the alley, I suddenly got that uneasy feeling I had unfortunately become accustomed to since leaving San Diego in the first place, I paused, panic once again beginning to paralyze me where I stood.

“What are you hiding?” a voice said behind me.

I jumped and let out a shriek of terror, somehow remembering how to move as I whipped around. The scream I had released had been almost ear shattering, loud enough that I knew Lucky would have come running out of the bar if his music hadn’t been so loud, that being said though, my scream seemed to have no effect on Mike as he stood in front of me, a hard stare on his face as he glanced around, probably making sure that no one heard my scream.

“Oh my God, what the hell?” I gasped, my voice squeaking slightly as I spoke, still recovering from him nearly scaring the shit out of me. I was panting, my hand holding my heart as I stared at him, wide eyed.

He chuckled darkly. “Well, I guess that’s as good a confirmation as anything.”

“Excuse me?” I muttered, anger creeping into my voice as I stared at this man, my breathing finally returning back to normal.

“You’re terrified Effie, you’re on edge, as if you’re expecting something bad to happen, as if you’re waiting for someone to find you.” He gave me a knowing look, raising his eyebrows, his expression begging me to deny it, which of course I did.

“What the hell are you talking about?” I spat, crossing my arms across my chest.

He rolled his eyes, annoyed. “Alright, go ahead, pretend you have no idea what I’m talking about, but we both know I’m right.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about and even if I did it would be none of your god damn business.” I sneered, surprising myself at how well I was handling this.

“It’s my business if it involves one of my best friends,” he retorted, his eyes growing darker.

I just scoffed, rolling my eyes as I turned, beginning to walk away from him.

“I know you love him, I know that you pushed him away intentionally, because you believe whatever it is your running from will hurt him or something,” he began to say but I ignored him, pushing through the emotions that were slowly bubbling to the surface. I was nearly to my car, him following me, when he said something that made me stop in my tracks. “And I bet whatever it is has something to do with that five grand you have stashed in your car.”

I whipped around, my eyes once again going wide as I stared at him. He smirked then, knowing he had me.

“How did you even find that?” I asked angrily.

He shrugged impassively. “I can be quite determined when I need to be. I’m also fairly certain that whatever it is your hiding was what made you freak out in the diner, you had a look of pure terror on your face as you dropped your phone. Not to mention the way you look, you apparently can’t sleep anymore, you don’t eat, and I couldn’t help but notice the way you keep hugging your sides, wincing in pain when you move and I’m almost positive if I were to look under your shirt I’d find bruises of some sort.”

I walked forward then, pushing Mike backwards as I angrily lead us back into the alley, the shadow of the building shielding us from the wondering eyes of the passersby’s. He allowed me to push him, walking backwards until we were in the shade.

“Listen, this has nothing to do with you Mike. Just forget about me and forget what you think you know.” I said harshly.

He just shook his head, giving me an annoyed look. “Believe me, I want to forget about you but unfortunately Tony is in love with you, and he hasn’t been the same since you left. As pissed as I am at you for hurting him I know that he would never forgive himself if something happened to you, and I know I would never forgive myself if I could have done something to help you either, so here I am, against my better judgment trying to help you.”

I couldn’t help but flinch at his words but I kept my face, shaking my head. “I don’t need your help, I don’t need anyone’s help, I can take care of myself.” I spat, glaring at him.

He scoffed then and something changed in his eyes. Before I even realized what was happening his hands were on me, pushing me back against the brick building behind me, pinning me in place as he leaned down over me, his hot breath hitting my face.

“I know that Tony suspects something but he is too in love with you to push you to tell him what’s wrong, I however, am not as soft. I couldn’t give two shits about you Effie. You’re just some bitch who broke my best friend’s heart. That being said, you are going to tell me what I want to know, before I make you.” He practically growled, his cold eyes staring down into mine and I realized then that even if he wasn’t pinning me against the wall, I still wouldn’t have been able to move with the way he was looking at me.

Mike continued staring down at me, his face hard, his eyes filled with hatred. His words had been menacing, laced with the threat that he promised but as crazy as it seemed, I knew that he wouldn’t hurt me. He was simply doing what he said Tony couldn’t, he was pushing me. Pushing me out of the well-kept front I had been playing, or at least trying to play, since running into Tony again in the first place. He was breaking down my already crumbled walls. He was going to get what he wanted which meant I was going to tell this man, practically a stranger, my biggest secret I ever had.

And I did. I told him everything. I told him how my parents had tracked me down, demanding the money I didn’t have. I told him how ever since my Dad had beat me in my apartment that I had been driving along the west coast, returning to my old homes, my old jobs, collecting as much money as I could, in the short amount of time I had been giving. My dad wanted his first payment by the end of the month, which was only six days away and it would take me at least two days to get from San Diego to Seattle. I had been driving almost nonstop this last week, running my jeep and body nearly useless.

Mike had been surprisingly quiet while I talked; only butting in at one point to ask why I was so adamant about keeping Tony away from me. That was when I told him about how my Dad threatened him, even how he threatened Darlene and Lucky, how he had been watching me for a while now. By the time I was done explaining everything to him we were sitting in my car as a few tears escaped down my cheeks, though I remained silent. Mike was silent as well and with every passing second I felt my heart beating nearly out of my chest, convinced that Mike was able to hear who loud it was racing.

“Of course Tony would fall for the crazy one,” he finally said, and for the first time since that first day I met him he smiled at me. He meant it as a joke but I didn’t take it as one because he was right, I was crazy, and Tony was only going to get hurt because of me. “So why haven’t you gone to the police?” he questioned, realizing his joke fell through the cracks.

I gave him blank expression. “Look, I don’t know how much Tony told you about me but I ran away from home when I was thirteen, there is a missing person’s report for me in Florida.”

“Yeah, but Effie, your parents abandoned you, a thirteen year old girl, I’m sure they would get in a hell of a lot more trouble than you would.” He tried reasoning with me. “And why Florida?” he asked suddenly.

I just shrugged, shaking my head. “That’s where I’m from, where it all started.”

“Really? Huh. You know that was one thing that bothered Tony the most, there was still so much he didn’t, well, still doesn’t know about you.” He said, glancing over at me with a puzzled expression.

“It’s better that way, he shouldn’t know me, he shouldn’t want to know me.” I whispered, leaning back in the seat.

Mike sighed. “Who’s Tonya Lawrence?” he asked then, his question surprising me.

I huffed angrily. “Jesus Christ what the hell did you do, tear up my floor boards, how did you even find that?”

He rolled his eyes. “I told you, I was determined, besides, I found her business card right in your cup holder smart ass.”

I sighed loudly. “She’s an attorney in Miami, she’s supposed to be looking into this settlement bullshit for me but she hasn’t returned any of my calls yet.”

He nodded. “So what’s your plan then, until she does?”

I just stared at him before I rolled my eyes. “I already told you, my dad wants ten grand by the end of the month, and until Tonya gets in touch with me I’m going to Seattle to give it to him, to at least buy me more time.”

“What makes you think your dad is just going to back off with that ten grand, besides, when did you find five more grand, I know your check from Lucky wasn’t that big.” He looked at me skeptically.

“One, I don’t, but I just have to believe that he will and two, there’s more than five grand in this car, you obviously didn’t find it all, plus I had more stashed in my apartment here and if I add in Lucky’s check it brings me to around seven and a half which I’m hoping he’ll accept.” I couldn’t help the worried look that came across my face as I felt about the consequences of me being short on my dad could be.

“How do you even have all that money lying around like that?” he asked, his face and voice coated in shock.

“I’ve always been good at keeping my money, I’ve been living on my own since I was thirteen, you learn how to ration and plan to last you til the end of the week. Once I became old enough to work I started hiding my money, leaving it in motel vents or in hidden floorboards in the closets of apartments I used to live in. Sometimes it works out for me, there was a stash I had in Oregon that was from four years ago that was still there, but other times it doesn’t, it’s all about luck I guess, and let me just say, I’ve been to every state in the United States, I could have easily gotten the ten grand if I had more time.” I sighed, disappointed in myself, how could I let things get this bad, how could I put Tony in danger like this?

“You know, you’re playing with fire Effie,” Mike warned me after a moment of silence.

“With all the hurt I’ve caused the people I care about, maybe it’s time I start to get burned,” I said softly, turning my gaze out the window, Emily’s and Tony’s faces filling my thoughts. “Please don’t tell Tony,” I begged, turning toward him.

“Effie, I can’t not tell him, he’s in love with you, I know he still loves you, despite that big ass lie you told him yesterday. He deserves to know, especially since you’re doing this to protect him, which let me just say, Tony doesn't need you protecting him, he can take care of himself. And this just proves how much you care about him, like I said, I know you still love him.”

“Mike, please,” I pleaded. “He won’t let me leave if he finds out, I need to go, I have to. Please.”

Mike groaned, leaning back against the seat and pinching the bridge of his nose while he seemed to think about it. “When are you leaving San Diego, and don’t you dare try and bullshit me, I’ll be able to tell.” He turned toward me, giving me a glare.

I just rolled my eyes and despite my better judgment I told him the truth. “Tomorrow morning, probably around seven, I want to drive as long as possible so I’m going to try and get some sleep tonight, though I probably won’t get more than an hour.” I sighed.

Mike sighed. “Look, I’ll make you a deal, I won’t tell Tony until an hour after you leave, I can’t control what happens next and I won’t try and stop him if he goes after you.”

I took in a deep breath, leaning forward in my seat, resting my forehead against the steering wheel. An hour wasn’t much but with the way I drove, I knew that I could definitely put some distance between us, even if he did come looking for me, which I doubted he would, I broke his heart yesterday, he wouldn’t have any clue on where to find me, I made sure to leave that part out when telling Mike. I also decided right then and there that I would be leaving at six, not seven like I had told him, I couldn’t risk it, I needed to get to Seattle, I needed to make sure Tony would be safe.

“Alright, deal,” I sighed, agreeing unwillingly as I leaned back up, looking over at him.

“Hopefully I’ll see you again Effie,” Mike said then, surprising me as he started getting out of the car.

He closed the door on me without another word and I watched as he walked through the parking lot before getting into a white Cadillac a few cars over and he started it up, driving away. I broke down then, my sobs echoing throughout my car as I turned the key, starting it. I couldn’t believe what was happening, I couldn’t believe that I had told Mike everything and more importantly, I couldn’t believe that the last memory I would have of Tony would be the way he had looked at me, nothing but hurt in his eyes as I told him I didn’t love him, that I never would. As I told the biggest fucking lie of my life.

---

I pulled the door shut to my apartment, placing my key in the lock and turning it, jiggling the handles to make sure it was locked. I wasn’t sure why, it wasn’t like I would ever be coming back here but it was just a nervous habit I had, locking everything away, hoping no one would come searching, picking the lock and opening it up, finding what I had left behind. I suppose it was a metaphor for how I had lived my life, constantly hiding myself away from the world, not letting anyone in, not opening up, even if the key fit into the lock and the gears would turn, there would always be something holding them back, a missing tooth on the key, a broken gear that wouldn’t allow them all the way in.

I was a broken lock, leaving the only person who had ever been able to turn the key all the way, to actually get me to open up, behind.

I blinked back the tears as I made my way down the steps of the apartment building, wincing slightly as I saw the sun peeking up from the horizon as I stepped outside. It was six oh three and I needed to be getting on the road, I needed to put distance between Tony and I because I couldn’t let him stop me.

I was digging through my bag, searching for my keys, which I had stupidly put away, as I was making my way toward my jeep. Just as I pulled them out I looked up, my jeep in front of me but I came to a sudden stop as I saw the two men standing in front of it, leaning against the driver’s side door, both of their faces hard, their stances tense as they both had their arms folded across their chests and I knew immediately what was going on. I purposely kept my eyes of the first man’s gaze, afraid of what I would find in it and immediately zoned in on the second man’s. I started seeing red as I stared at him. I wasn’t usually a violent person but I didn’t let that stop me as I tossed my bag on the ground.

“You lying bastard!” I screamed and immediately lunged for Mike, my fists ready to swing.

Tony was faster though and he quickly grabbed me from behind, pulling me away from Mike before I could get in a good swing. Before I had time to shout some more I couldn’t control the strangled gasp that escaped my lips as Tony’s arms tightened around me, squeezing my already bruised ribs.

“Ow, ow, let go!” I cried, tears immediately pooling out of my eyes, it had been a little over a week since my father had attacked me but the bruises were just starting to heal, the color still a deep red on my skin.

Tony immediately let me go and I stumbled forward, placing one arm across my stomach while my other arm caught me and held me up against the side of my jeep. I was panting, gasping as the tears started to fall as I tried to breath against the pain.

“What’s wrong?” I heard Tony ask, his voice shocked.

“Lift up her shirt,” Mike instructed and I turned to glare at him in-between my panting.

“Don’t fucking touch me,” I growled, glancing at both of them. “Why are you even here, you said you wouldn’t tell him.” I said pointedly, looking at Mike.

He just scoffed. “You also said you weren’t leaving until seven, I guess we both lied.” He countered, raising his eyebrows, once again asking me to deny it.

I just sighed then, knowing that he got me once again.

“Effie?” Tony asked as I stood straight, taking a deep breath despite the pain as I looked toward him.

“You shouldn’t be here,” I said quickly, cutting off whatever he was going to say, and I realized that I had said the exact same words to him all those months ago, and the truth in them still held strong, making me frown down at my feet. “And I don’t care what you say or do, I’m leaving, I’m going to see my father.”

“We know.” Mike said and it caught me off guard as I looked up at the two men, both looking at me while I avoided their eyes.

“Then why are you here?” I asked, confused.

“We’re coming with you,” Tony said, his voice fierce and I knew that there was no way I would be able to talk my way out of this.

Notes

so I wrote this after working a miserable twelve hour shift so my apologies if it's awful but I really wanted to get an update in before I crashed for the night and I realized that it's a bit long so once again, my bad guys...

oh, and have I mentioned how much I love working with @Lost in Neverland, she is seriously amazing and I love the way this story is turning out because of her...*wink :)

and also, thank you guys for commenting and rating, I'm glad you really like this story because it is definitely fun to write so please, keep the good vibes coming, even if we are breaking your hearts (sorry about that lol) but on to you lovely @Lost in Neverland, good luck babe!