A Light in the Dark

I’d be lying if I said that Tony’s lips didn’t feel good while moving against mines.

I hadn’t realized that I was pulling him closer, our tongues struggling for dominance. My head kept screaming for me to push him away, to make him hate me so I could keep him safe, but my stubborn, selfish heart couldn’t resist Tony’s allure. He clouded my thoughts, making it difficult to pull away from his addictive kiss. His tongue traced my bottom lip, eliciting a moan to escape my mouth. His hands wandered down the length of my body, gently stroking at the skin being revealed because Tony was slowly lifting my shirt. I wanted to melt in his arms and be kept safe with him forever, but I couldn’t. I quickly pulled my face away just in time to stop Tony from revealing the bruises that marked my skin. My breath trembled when I thought of my father.

“Dad?” I gasped.

And just like that my father moved with such swift speeds and tackled me to the ground. His hands pinned my arms to the floor.

“It’s nice to see you again, Effie.” My father sneered.

I was about to scream for help, but my father’s hand clasped around my mouth.

“Listen to me Effie!” My father shouted sternly. His eyes—much like mines—bore into my gaze as I felt sheer terror zoom through me. I tried to scream again and this time my father didn’t tell me to hush. Instead, he punched me in the gut making me cough in pain. I pretty much just had the wind knocked out of me. I thrashed trying to get free, but my father hit me again in the gut. I coughed and gasped at the pain radiating on my skin.

“Now listen to me, and listen to me clearly Effie.” My father instructed with an impatient voice. “What did you do with your sister’s settlement?” He asked.

Settlement? I had no idea about a freaking settlement. I laid there—pinned to the floor—with a confused expression on my face.

“Answer me!” My father shouted making me cringe slightly.

“I—I didn’t receive uh—a settlement.” I stuttered out.

My father slapped me harshly across my face. My cheeks stung with pain, throbbing violently from where his hand had hit me.

“Don’t lie to me!” My father shouted.

I used to like the downpour Seattle had. The rain was somehow soothing to me, but right now I wish there wasn’t such a thing as rain. All of the thudding from the rain hitting the roof drowned out my father’s shouts, so I knew no one could hear the ruckus going on in my apartment.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about!” I yelled back.

My father got off of me and started pacing back and forth. “You’re so useless.” He muttered under his breath, making me wince due to his hurtful words. It seems as if nothing changed since they’ve been gone from my life.

“In your sister’s death there was a settlement for one million dollars. You had one too, but your mother and I figured you had already used it. We’ve spent these past few years trying to track you down so we can get the settlement that unfortunately has now gone under your name.” My father explained with irritation leaking in his voice.

I was at a loss for words because I hadn’t received a settlement, nor did I ever get any notification of there even being a settlement whatsoever.

“I never received a settlement.” I replied. “And why the hell would Emily’s money go under my name?”

“Because, you both were in the accident and the money was supposed to compensate for the loss of your sister. Believe me, I tried to get the approval from the courts to have the check written to your mother and I, but unfortunately you needed to be present at these hearings.” My father elucidated, making me narrow my eyes at him.

“Sorry to disappoint you father.” I said condescendingly then added “But I never got a settlement check, so you can shove it up your ass.” After all these years and the prick decides to show up at my place requesting money I don’t have. He can kiss my ass, that ungrateful jerk.

“You best watch your tone young lady because one way or another you’ll pay up.” My father snapped.

“And who’s gonna make me, you?” I challenged.

“Well it’s either you pay up or we’ll pay a visit to your friend. What was his name—oh, right Tony.” My father retorted and I felt my very breath get caught in my throat. I tried to play it off coolly though.

“I don’t know any Tony’s.” I lied while trying to keep my face impassive.

My father scoffed bitterly. “You think we didn’t find you in San Diego, because we did. We were just waiting who we should go after just to motivate your stubborn ways.” My father spat. “We thought maybe that guy Lucky would be good, or that nice waitress Darlene. But then that young sweet man Tony showed up, and that’s when I knew he’d be perfect for the cause.”

I couldn’t hide the fact that I was worried for both Tony and I, mainly Tony. I tried to end things quickly with him, to sever any emotional ties I had with him, but now this? I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if Tony got hurt because of the demons hidden in my closet.

I sighed before saying “I don’t have a million dollars. I’m just a bar keep.” I reasoned. Even with the decent pay and the generous tips, I never once made it close to making a million dollars.

“That’s not my problem, now is it?” My father remarked. “You’ll just have to pay us in increments until your bill is paid in full. If not, I’ll pay a visit to your friend and kill him merciless.” He added with an evil flicker in his eyes.

I was breathing heavily, nearly hyperventilating because I had put Tony in danger. I was about to kill another thing I loved so dearly.

“Do we have an understanding?” My father questioned while cocking an eyebrow at me.

“Yes.” I whispered while a tear trailed down my cheek.

“We can’t.” I said while pushing Tony away. However, we were in his bunk so there really wasn’t much room to have between us. Every fiber in my body wanted our kiss to last forever, but I needed to keep my priorities straight.

“Why not?” Tony challenged.

“Because I’m no good for you, I’ll just end up hurting you Tony.” I snapped. The sad thing about my statement was that I would just end up hurting him; intentionally or unintentionally it was bound to happen

“I’m a big boy, I can make my decisions.” Tony replied; his stare holding mines. He was so stubborn that it frustrated me. “I love you, Effie and nothing can change my mind.” Tony insisted.

What I needed to say would probably hurt him, but it had to be said because he had to let me go. I didn’t deserve his love. Tony deserved someone who wasn’t a fractured mess, who’s past wasn’t tainted with empty promises and broken dreams. Tony deserved the best, and I knew I wasn’t it.

“Well, I don’t love you.” I replied; my voice was convincing enough that Tony looked at me through pain stricken eyes. “I never loved you Tony, don’t you get it?” I said in a clipped tone.

I could feel the tears trying to make them known, but I pushed my real feelings aside. I needed Tony to hate me in order for him to let me go. He needed to forget about me.

“You’re lying.” Tony whispered, but I knew he believed the lie I created.

“No, I’m not. You just can’t accept that I was and never will be yours.” I remarked. My voice sounded as if there was poison dripping from it. My stare was hard and ice cold when I looked into Tony’s eyes. I almost crumbled because the person staring back at me looked ultimately pained, as if I had just cut his heart out.

Tony didn’t say anything. Instead he got out of the bunk and left me by myself. It was then—after a minute or two passed—that I allowed myself to cry. I silenced my sobs by pressing a pillow to my face, but it didn’t matter because I had just shattered my heart into a million pieces. The way Tony looked at me would haunt my dreams forever.

Notes

Well, this story took a somewhat sad turn. Sorry. x

I hope @lostinthemusic doesn't hate me for it haha. Not gonna lie though, after reading the last chapter I was waiting for an update until I realized that it was my turn to write and literally was like ahhhh shit! Haha

Hope you're all enjoying the story!!! :D