I'm Sorry

I woke up alone in my room. Actually I was alone in the whole bus. " where is everybody? " I asked myself. The whole venue was empty. Every bus was empty. Am I dreaming? I started to breath hard. What if something bad happened and I was left behind? What if everybody left me because no one likes me? What if? What if? What if?! Behind every ' what if? ' my breathing shortened. I started to cry. Suddenly all the buses were gone and I was alone in a room. My childhood room. I stared at my 15 year old self as she slashed at her skin. She took a lighter and put it against her leg and held back a scream. The girl choked on her tears and her scorched skin burned in pain. A figure came into the room. No. He walked right through the door. " hello hazel " he said. The girl cried more. Then I noticed him. " Cody? " I asked but he couldn't hear me. It was him. That guy from my childhood who was always there. Who always embraced my scars and burns. I used to love him but I always hated him at the same time. He was my demon. I remember his nonexistent self caressing me and kissing the top of my head. He whispered in my ear and the blade slid across my skin. Once, twice, three more times. " stop " I cried " STOP " I yelled at my young self. The dream shattered and I was in a new room. " h..hello? " I asked. Tears made tracks in my cheeks. I'm all alone. No. No I see someone. " hello Haze. " Cody said to me. " CODY! " I yelled, running at him and punching his chest multiple times. Anger pulsed through me. " why Cody. Why are you killing me? I hate you Cody! You destroyed my life " I yelled. " shhhh, love, your fine now " he ran his pale, long finger through my dyed hair and sniffed in my scent. " I've missed you so much Haze " he whispered " Im sure you haven't. You're the one who left remember? And you hurt me so much " I replied soberly. " why'd you hurt me Cody? " I asked. He sighed " it's...complicated " I sighed " what do you mean? " he chocked on his words " you....needed to be hurt. You had to many problems in your life. You needed hurt. You needed pain. Your the one who did this. I just helped along the way. " he whispered in my ear " go away Cody. Let me go " I said. He smiled " that's all I needed to hear, love " and his body shattered. I screamed as I woke up. " hazel? Haze are you okay? " I heard Alan's voice ask. He was in my room. " why...why are you here? " I asked my best friend. " I was in here with your band and you were having a bad dream so I stayed. I started to cry silently " c'mere Haze " and he took me in his arms. He laid down on the bed next to me and I fell asleep in the comfort of his arms.


I woke up with a sigh and saw Alan next to me. I smiled and gave him a hug. I quickly got dressed and walked into the main room. No one was awake yet cause everyone had slept in. I went into the bathroom and searched in the back of the cabinet. I finally found a. Little box in the back that was locked with a key. I took my necklace and pulled it from under my shirt. I took the little key that was attached to it and unlocked the box to reveal my old lighter and tons of new razors. I took the lighter and put it against my upper arm. It burned into my flesh and I nearly screamed. I put away the lighter and put some medicine on my burn. I then cut below the burn multiple times. Slice for not being able to control myself. Slice for not being able to understand my feelings. Slice slice for just being me. I put away the razors and the lighter and I locked the box. I cleaned my arm and put on my bracelets. I walked out of the bus and walked around the new venue. Someone tapped my shoulder and I turned around quickly. Austin smiled down at me. " oh....it's just you. " I let out a long breath. He started to stare at my arm but when I glanced at it he looked away. He cleared his throat " so what's up? " he asked me. I sighed " Austin....I wanted to apologize for yesterday. " he smiled " it doesn't matter. " he said but I could see the hurt in his eyes. I smiled, knowing exactly how to make him happy again. " Hey Austin...look this way " I whispered in his ear. As he turned around I kissed him. He was in shock for a few second but quickly recovered and kissed me back. " hey Austin guess what? I like you " I said as our kiss ended. He smiled and I leaned into his embrace.

Notes

Sorry it's so short but look! They finally got together.