I'm Sorry

Alan and I started to play video games after I brought over my computer with my Nintendo 64 emulator. We were fighting between games when the bus door opened. " LEGEND OF ZELDA!!! " I whined " NOOOO MARIO!! " I pouted and started to sniffle. " NO! Don't cry my little kitten. We can't have that now! " he poked my nose and I giggled. Someone cleared their throat to the left of us. I looked up to the bus door where a tall guy stood with multiple tattoos and deep chocolate brown eyes that melted my heart. Wait, what am I talking about. I shook my head to clear my thoughts. " hey Austin! " Alan said happily. Austin. What a perfect name to fit a perfect person. " who's this? " Austin asked. I looked up with fear in my eyes. They were talking about me. I definitely don't like being the center of attention. " I'll just leave Alan " I said in a stuttering voice. I grabbed my stuff up quickly and walked towards the door " Wait! " Austin said in a relatively loud voice . I flinched and ran out the door before anyone could say anything else.

*** Austin's POV ***

" why'd she leave so quickly? " I asked Alan. He sighed. " Hazel has a couple....problems....with other people. " he said. I gave him a confused look " what do you mean by problems? " I asked but Alan wouldn't reply. " Alan....I will hide your cat stuffed animals if you don't tell me. You already started so you might as well tell me everything. " I said. He looked up " it's really not my place to say.... " he trailed off. " Alan! " I complained. " okay, okay, sit down. " I sat on the couch next to him. " firstly, her name is Hazel Starkey Hendrix " he started. Hazel. Hmmm....it fits her. " she has been battling depression since grade school... " I paused him " how do you know this? " I asked " I went to school with her before I moved to your school. " he stated quickly. I prompted him to move on. " I don't know everything, she has a lot of secrets. I do know, though , that she has social anxiety, she has panic attacks often and she doesn't sleep well but I don't know why. She also has trust issues. She is 21 if you were wondering and she is the lead singer of Drop Dead. " he finished. I soaked up all the information as if I was a sponge. " so you don't know everything huh? What more could there be. That's already a lot of things " he sighed, "I don't know but I do know that there if definitely a lot more. "

––– back to Hazel's POV –––

I went back to the bus and walked in slowly. " what's wrong haze? " Kyle asked quietly. I flinched as the sound of his voice " n...nothing. " I said and quickly ran past him, I made it to the only private bedroom we have which is currently mine. I barely ever use it but I need it right now. I locked the door and started to cry. Giant tears crawled down my cheeks. Austin sounds exactly like.......but it couldn't be him...could it? No....no it couldn't be him. He's in jail. He's rotting to death in a cell. Somehow, that gives me a little bit of comfort...but not enough. I reached into my back pocket and took out the razor. i pulled down my jeans and started to cut my skin. * slice * for being fat. * slice * for being ugly. * slice * for failing at life. * slice, slice * for being insecure and retarded. I stared at my legs and the torn skin. I loved staring at the cuts. They showed that I can feel pain. I'm not an emotionless person. I have feelings. My mind took me back to that one day in high school...

* flashback *

" hey babe " Lex whispered in my ear as the final bell rang indicating the end of high school for all the seniors. " hey " I purred, burying my face in his jacket. " wanna come to my house? " he asked. I nodded and he lead me to his house. We got inside and he kissed me like crazy. He trailed kisses down my neck and down towards my breasts. " um...L...Lex?? " I said in a stuttering voice. He usually stopped but this time he didn't. " I hate you, you fucking slut. " the blood drained from my face. Lex and I have been together since middle school. " w..what are you gonna do Lex? " I asked, worried. He smirked and started to unbutton my shirt " I'm gonna rape the fuck out of you " he whispered. I shivered. He pulled off my shirt and slipped my shorts off my waist and down my legs. He stared at my body as if I was a delicious ice cream cone. He licked from my neck down to the waistband of my panties. It felt so good but I knew it shouldn't, cause he's gonna rape me. He threw me over his shoulder and ran upstairs. He threw me on the bed and ripped off my panties. He took off my bra and bit at my nipples. He forced a pill down my throat that would keep me from getting pregnant. " your gonna take one of these everyday and your gonna like it! " he growled as he threw the pills aside. I've never been in his room. I looked around. Sex toys everywhere. And he's gonna use them on me. He took a pair of handcuffs and put them on me. He attached the handcuffs to a bar on the ceiling. " first I'm gonna fuck you into tomorrow. Then, the torture begins, love. " I shivered. He slammed into me and I screamed out in pain. He kept going until I climaxed. He kept going until he climaxed as well and he came inside of me. I started to fall asleep. I'm...so...tired... " NO!! " he screamed. He slapped me and splashed freezing water over me face. I woke up immediately with a gasp. He took another sex toy. A dildo. And stuck it into my ass. I screamed out in pain. He stuck himself inside of me and thrusted over and over and over again. I screamed repeatedly and also moaned out in pleasure. This shouldn't be making my feel GOOD! He came inside the me again after my second climax. He just kept fucking me until I finally passed out.

––– the next morning –––

I woke with a start. Lex was in front of me. " torture time " he said with a devilish grin. I shivered. He took a leather riding crop and flicked it at my breasts. I screamed out in pain but then felt pleasure. I moaned and he flicked my butt " NO! NO MOANING! " he yelled but I couldn't help myself. I moaned again, so loud that I'm sure the neighbors could hear. He took a piece of cloth and gagged me. I started to cry. He got up and stripped of his clothes. He took the handcuffs off the bar and attached them the the bed posts instead. He laid me on his legs and smacked my ass really hard. I cried out but the sound was muffled by the cloth. I could feel him chuckling as I cried in pain. He smacked me again and again and again until my butt was raw. He then slammed inside my ass making his hip bones touch my skin. I cried in pain again from the contact. He came inside me and turned me around. He stuck three fingers inside me. Then four then his whole hand! He paused for a minute as I took this in. He then got up and grabbed six huge metal balls attached to one long string. He stuck three into my butt and three into my vagina. He then laid me over his leg again. He smacked my butt and the balls moved around inside of me causing an amazing sensation. I moaned loudly and turned around, I couldn't take it anymore. I need him, even if he raped me and is torturing me. I slipped out of the handcuffs and grabbed him. He couldn't seem to resist either. He took the balls out of my vagina but left the balls in my ass. He ungagged me. He kissed me so hard that my lips got swollen. I could feel his erection. He was about to push into me but he pushed away. " no.. " he growled " no getting distracted " he said. He put the handcuffs on me again, tighter, but he kept the gag off so he could hear my screams. He continued to torture me.
This continued for two months until, finally, the police found me and sent Lex to jail. I haven't been the same since.

* end flashback *

I took a towel and put it against my leg. I put pressure on the cuts until they stopped bleeding. I put gauze over my cuts and slipped on my pajama pants. I then laid down on the bed and cried myself to sleep.

Notes

Hey! Sorry it's so nasty ( and on the second chapter! How dare I!!) but I needed to show you guys a little but of hazel's torn up past. ily my cupcakes!