I cant cope anymore, I cant its too much.

I know that I could text Vic and he could help me but I'm not off loading my shit onto him. I have done this alone for three years I can go today. I remembered it was school, it was a Thursday.....I wish it was the weekend or at least Friday that way I could be locked away all weekend and not have to face anymore shit in the hell hole that normal people call school.

I looked at my clock and realised it was only 6:00am so I decided to get up and take a long bath. I scrambled past my mirror not wanting to take one single peek as I knew I would just imagine that man swarming my body, touching me, undressing me and taking advantage. I shivered as I tried to put the memories and thoughts out of my mind.

I walked into my bathroom lit my candles placed my IPod on my side and pulled out my razor knowing it was the inevitable due to what today was, I put it on the side of the bath. I sat in the piping hot water for about 10 minuets just thinking about my past. I broken out of my trance as another song began playing, I grabbed my blade and began to engrave the crimson red colour onto my wrist watching every drop of my blood fall into the water and discolour as it did. I did one then another then a few more, before I knew it I had done over 100 most of them wasn't too deep. However I know I had gone overboard as I saw my bath water wasn't pink but ruby red I admit I panicked a little bit so I glanced at my wrist realising that I had cut through my tendon in my left wrist what the fuck was I going to do now?!? I cant move my hand at all!!!

I panicked and got out the bath pulling the plug out with me I watched as I saw my blood run around the plug hole and down into the drain. I wrapped some tissue round my wrist and arm so the blood didn't drip everywhere I ran into my room and locked my door. Scuttled past my mirror once again then began to rummage round my bed side cabinet draws to find a new bandage and began to dress my arm I picked up my skin coloured one so it wouldn't be too noticeable for school.

I peered at my clock looking at the time it was nearly eight I was going to be late! I ran round my room and managed to get ready just in time I ran out of the house to catch the bus, I was going to be ok. I arrived at school and walked into class, I saw Vic's smile as he saw me he waved motioning me to go sit next to him so I did.

"Hey girl! How you doing?" Vic sounded so happy I couldn't say oh shit really, I've cut over 100 times this morning and sliced though my tendon.

"I'm fine, you ?" I decided to spare him the worry and disappointment.

"Yeah I am great better now I've seen you and know your fully recovered" he flashed me a smile and gave me a hug.

"Good! I am good as new" I replied thinking about my wrist, I placed my hand on the table.

*50 minuets later*

We had to do some group work with some cards and do a bit of writing as I pulled my left arm off the desk I noticed a blood red stain on the desk. I wasn't the only person who noticed, Vic noticed also. He pulled out a wipe from his pocket and wiped the table he whispered telling me to pull up my sleeve and show him. I didn't, especially not here. I saw him squeeze my hand however I felt noting off it I only saw. The bell rang and we both got up as we walked put of class Vic pulled my into the toilets and demanded that I show him my arm, I pulled up my blazer sleeve and saw that my skin coloured bandage was no longer a tan colour but red. I had bled that much it has come through he told me to take it off so I did he wasn't happy with me at all he handed me another bandage.

Then he pulled me to the hospital....yet again. This time there was no commotion it was an in stitches applied then out thing....it seemed too good to be true.

Moments later my phone rang I answered only to realise that it was the hospital. They had referred me to C.A.M.H.S (child and adolescent mental health service) I knew it was too good to be true! I began to breakdown bursting into tears I hung up then collapsed on the floor Vic spun round to see me sitting there on the floor with my head in my hands crying he came over bobbed down and said

"What's wrong?" I was so angry because of him I'm not a mentally ill teenager that needs help.

"You have made everything so much worse! You've fucked everything up!!! I have to go mental health meetings now, well fucking done Vic!" My face began to go red from anger as the tears fell down my face.

"But...I.....I....I never knew they would do that I was just making sure you was safe" His eyes filled with tears and they began to fall. He held out his hand so I could get up.

"Fuck off, I don't need your help or anything from you!" I got up off the pavement as I pushed his hand aside and began to walk away leaving Vic there like he left me.

"Alisha, come back please!?!" I didn't even bothering turning around. I just pulled put my head phones and began to play my music as I wiped away my tears.

Notes

Ooooo what's going to happen next?

Will Alisha forgive Vic or will he be another memory to Alisha?

I hope this chapters not too short!

My updates maybe a bit slow as I'm going though some hard times at the minuet so I will apologise for that now just in case.

Feedback is always welcome!