A Match Into Water

I picked up the phone and text Vic.

Im just going to come out with it....it's easier that way.

-My baby <3

Hey I'm fine I didn't cut or anything bad I was doing something else. I was taking a pregnancy test. The results are half between negative and positive on both however it's a week too early for a test anyway....I'm so sorry!! <3

After I pressed send there was no going back, I pressed it and began to cry.

I couldn't help myself I pulled out the blades and cut. I cut all my stomach resenting myself for that bastards baby that could be growing inside of me.

But it's my baby too, I began to think about what I would do if I was pregnant.

The options are raise it myself, abort it or give it up for adoption...

I don't know what to do.

I had a text back from Vic....

-My baby <3

Wtf. Why didn't you tell me?! Alisha this is serious, now you have to tell me who it is <3

I burst into tears clutching my phone to my chest.

I took a deep breath as I began to type back "Because I knew you'd hate me. I can't I'm sorry I'm not ready to tell you that. I think I'm pregnant Vic" I sobbed my heart out as I knew he'd probably leave me.

The reply was instant.

-My baby <3

No you can't say that anymore you have to tell me. Well you can't keep it.

I noticed straight away that he didn't put a heart.

I can't tell him I can't.

I don't want to have an abortion because the baby would have done nothing wrong and it would still be mine but on the other hand it would be a constant reminder that I was raped.

I began to have an panic attack.

I text him back "I don't know what I want to do yet. I'm having a panic attack I can't do this right now"

Vic didn't text me back after that. I spent the night alone in my room crying hating myself for everything I had done.

I hate myself so fucking much. I've ruined everything.

Notes

Updated again....trying not to cut so I'm writing instead.

So Vic didn't take it well but is it to expected or should he empathise with Alisha?