A Match Into Water

I froze in thought as I didn't know what to say.

What do I do? I don't know whether to tell him or to spare him the pain and keep for myself.

I don't want to drag him through hell with me. He doesn't need to know what is going on in my head. The thoughts and memories.....they horrify me and I hate myself. God knows what it would do to someone who loves me.

I took a deep breath as I prepared myself for what I was going to say to him.

"Erm nothing"

As soon as I spoke I knew how fake my reply sounded and mentally kicked myself.

Vic cupped my face with his hand rubbing my cheek as he spoke .

"Beautiful I know there is something wrong. You can't hide it from me"

A tear escaped my eye as I started to think and remember.

Vic wiped away the tear while looking into my eyes.

"See your not alright baby"

I snuggled into Vic's shoulder as I cried harder as my thoughts spiralled out of control it's like being sucked into a black hole, there is no way out.

Vic didn't bother to question me further as he could see how upset I was.

Even though I was laid in Vic's arms where I was safe from everything it didn't seem to work this time.

As I laid in Vic's arms I slowly began to drift off to sleep.

*Vic's POV*

I don't know what was wrong with her, she has been like this for a few days but lately she has been getting worse....a lot worse.

I don't understand why she wont speak to me anymore. Does she still trust me?

My mind started to go into overdrive as I began to think negatively.

VIC PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER!!!!

I needed to be strong for Alisha, she is falling apart and I need to be there to support her....even if I don't know what is wrong with her.

I looked down to see Alisha blissfully sleeping in my arms. She looked so peaceful, it reminded me of when I was in my coma and I saw her dead.

I clenched my eyes tightly shut trying to prevent the tears from falling as I remembered the pain I felt.

I soon broke out of my trance as I noticed Alisha pulling faces as if she was in pain whilst she was sleeping. Her breathing became faster as she began to sweat a little, she must be having a nightmare. She began to shake and I became worried as she started shouting quite loud.

"No! Stop it.....get off me now!!!!"

"Let go off me, please!!!"

She started to cry.

"WHY?!?!? WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?!?!"

At this point I had enough, I'm not going to lay here while my girlfriend lays in my arms hurting and crying. It was time to wake her up.

I tapped her softly and spoke in a soft tone of voice so I wouldn't scare her.

"Baby come on wake up"

Alisha's eyes snapped open and I saw the true fear in her eyes.

She pushed herself away from me causing her to fall onto the floor.

The tears fell fast from her eyes as she backed away from me and sat curled up in the corner crying clutching her knees to her chest.

I cautiously walked towards her and held out my hand for her to get up.

She hesitantly took my hand and I pulled her up off the floor and walked her over to the bed.

"Now baby please tell me what's wrong, its tearing me apart to see you hurting" I was precautious with what I was saying as I knew she might just get up and walk out with the way she was feeling.

"Alright I will tell you" she let out a sigh.

*Alisha's POV*

I could see I was torturing my boyfriend.

"Well your like my drug. However like every drug the relief begins to ware off after a while the pain returns well that's what is happening here.....the pain, memories and thoughts have been slowly coming back. I haven't slept properly for 3 months now, I'm too scared to sleep then when I do fall asleep I wake up due to the nightmares. The worst thing is, is that my dreams are like reality and reality is a dream" I began to blubber once again.

"Baby why didn't you tell me? What are your nightmares about?" Vic went to hold my hand but I couldn't stand the thought of being held or touched so I pulled away.

"I don't want hurt you....well there erm about..."My voice trailed off as I began to think about it.

"Come on baby you can tell me and you could never hurt me" Vic looked into my eyes.

"Well I hope I never will. I get nightmares about my rape....its awful I relive it every night. It's even worth that I think its reality. I don't feel safe that's why I cant sleep" I looked to the floor as I knew that would get to him.

Vic began to cry..."Baby you should have told me. I could have helped you I would have made you feel safe....I'm sorry"

I'm so ashamed. I made someone who I love cry at what I have done?

Notes

So what do you think???

I know it a bit shit, sorry.

Feedback please :3