Ashlynn

I felt the early morning sun hit my closed eyelids, burning into my eyes and giving me my wakeup call to start the day. I groaned, tossing my arm over my eyes to block out the blinding light. I flopped over in my bed, squinting my groggy green eyes open just the slightest to look at the time on the alarm clock on my nightstand: 9:31.

I huffed, trying to remain as still as possible, as if to try and convince my body that I was still asleep and didn’t want to start my day that I had been dreading since I walked through the front door last night.

I had some explaining to do, and I was laying in fear as the realization hit me.

I pulled back my covers, deciding that I needed to be an adult and face what I needed to.

I didn’t exactly know what I wanted all to confess to Delaney; the bare minimum, most likely. I would be forced to talk about Eli, and maybe even where I had truthfully been yesterday when I left. I didn’t have the slightest idea how I would even begin to explain things, but I silently prayed that maybe, just maybe, Delaney would be too hungover to try and hound me for answers.

I mustered up enough courage and got out of bed, pulling on a pair of yoga pants and a white tank top and tossing my hair up into a crazy-looking messy bun because my hair was insane from sleeping on it. I grabbed my glasses off my nightstand and went into the bathroom to brush my teeth and rinse out my bed-breath with mouthwash before making my way out of my bedroom.

The house was eerily quiet once I emerged. I was used to a bunch of ruckus because the guys were always over, and when they weren’t at least the television was on or Delaney’s phone was playing music from the dock in the living room. But the only sounds I heard were soft snores.

I padded softly into the living room, groaning silently when I saw the mess of pizza boxes and empty liquor bottles.

I stifled a laugh when I looked to the sofa, seeing a sleeping Mike laying there with his mouth hanging open, a small trail of drool exiting the right side of his mouth. He had fallen asleep without a pillow or blanket, so he was just laying there with one of his arms dangling off the side and his long legs stretched out awkwardly.

I decided that I would clean up a little bit as a favor to Delaney, eliminating one of the things she would need to worry about when she awoke.

I picked up all of the empty liquor bottles, making sure that the glass didn’t clank together and wake Sleeping Beauty on the couch and Sleeping Beauty in the bedroom.

I picked up the pizza boxes after I had disposed of the empty alcohol bottles, and I tossed those in the trash as well. I cleaned up the coffee table, and set all of the rolling papers and the plate of leftover bud neatly on the side nearest Mike, since I assumed they were his.

After I had cleaned everything up to the best of my capabilities, I decided that I would cook up some breakfast that would help Delaney and Mike with their hangovers, hoping they would wake up once they smelled the food.

I retrieved all of the needed ingredients for omelets out of the fridge, and I chose to make some pancakes to go with them as well.

I cooked up some veggies to make into the omelets and while those were simmering, I made the batter for the pancakes.

Just as I had started to beat the eggs in a mixing bowl, I heard a stir come from the living room. A few moments later, Mike was stumbling into the kitchen, squinting his eyes at the sunlight that poured through the blinds much as I had done earlier.

“It burns! Oh, my retinas!” Mike shielded his eyes from the sun and I couldn’t help but to laugh.

“There’s orange juice in the fridge and I think there’s Excedrin in the cabinet above the sink.” I motioned towards the cabinet before giving Mike a soft, apologetic smile because I could only imagine the headache that he had at the moment.

“Thanks girl,” he said, dragging out ‘girl’ to make it sound obnoxious. He went straight for the pills and I chuckled.

He sat down at the table while I flipped the omelets and started pouring batter into small circles in the greased frying pan that I had on the burner.

“So, how was last night?” Mike asked me, and I was a bit caught off guard by the question.

“What do you mean?” I turned around, a spatula in my hand as I cocked my head to the side slightly.

“You know what I mean,” Mike chuckled and I furrowed my eyebrows.

“No…?” I searched my brain for what he could possibly be speaking of, and then it hit me: Tony.

Realization soon flooded over me, but I tried my best to remain composed in front of Mike.

“I know that you and To-” Mike started, but was cut off when Delaney’s bedroom door opened suddenly.

I shot him a look that told him to keep quiet as Delaney stumbled out of her bedroom, groaning as she walked mechanically into the kitchen.

“It feels like a sumo wrestler is sitting on my brain,” Delaney grumbled, dragging her slipper-boot clad feet as she walked over to the cabinet to retrieve medicine for her headache. “Whatever you’re cooking smells amazing,” she spoke, her voice sounding funny because she hadn’t yet swallowed the pill. She got a water bottle out of the fridge and trudged to the table, punching Mike in the shoulder as she passed him to sit down.

“Hey!” Mike yelled, rubbing his shoulder. “What was that for?”

“Fuck you and your faded fortnight,” she grumbled and I tried my best to stifle a giggle.

“What’s faded fortnight?” I asked as I grabbed a few plates out of the cabinets and set one in front of Mike and one in front of Delaney, laying mine down on the countertop next to me.

“Mike’s stupid and incorrect way of talking about the nights we get together and drink and smoke for hours on end.” Delaney rolled her eyes and Mike pouted a little.

“How the fuck was I supposed to know that a fortnight was two fucking weeks?!” Mike threw his hands in the air in defense.

I just shook my head and laughed lightly as I scooped an omelette out of the pan and walked skillfully over to place it on Delaney’s plate. I did the same with Mike’s and my own before piling the pancakes onto a platter and setting them in the middle of the kitchen table.

There was an awkward silence as we all ate, the only sounds that filtered throughout the room being the scraping of forks and knives on the glass plates.

I thought about what Mike had said and I tried to piece together how he could’ve possibly found out when Tony and I weren’t public about anything at all. I thought long and hard, wracking my brain for possible explanations but coming up with none. My thoughts were broken when Delaney let out a chuckle.

“What?” I asked, cocking my head to the side.

“You have a really serious pancake eating face,” Delaney commented and Mike cracked up from my left side.

I grimaced and looked back down at what remained of my breakfast. After a few more minutes of silence, I decided that I was going to slowly retreat from the awkward air that hung thickly in the room and start my day so Delaney didn’t have the time to question me on my whereabouts last night.

“I’m going to hop in the shower and probably head into town for a little while, maybe go to the gym,” I announced, pushing back in my chair and getting up from the table. I brought my dishes to the sink to rinse them before putting them in the dishwasher.

I heard a soft whisper and a thud before I heard Mike whisper-shout, “OW!”

“Uh, when do you think you’ll be home tonight?” Delaney asked, her tone was somewhat nervous.

I shrugged my shoulders in response, not knowing where my day was going to take me.

“I’m not sure, why do you ask?” I crinkled my forehead, wondering silently why it mattered how long I was going to be out for.

I thought back to what Mike said to me before Delaney woke up, and suddenly, I began to panic. What if Delaney knew? What if MIke told her something? What if she logged into her old Instagram account and saw pictures of me in her feed that Tony had posted?

“I was just curious, cause all the guys and I were supposed to go out tonight and I was wondering if you wanted to come along.” A small smile tugged on the corners of Delaney’s lips, almost as if the smile were forced.

When did my cousin and I become like this? I had the overwhelming urge to leave and never come back again because of how strange this all was. What was the big deal?

“Uh, sure. Thank you for inviting me. What time?” I asked, leaning against the counter. I noticed that Mike had grown silent in his seat - something that was not normal. He was awkwardly pushing around a green pepper that had fallen out of his omelette with his fork.

“I’m not sure yet, I’ll text you and let you know.” Delaney shrugged her shoulders, giving me a soft smile before I nodded and headed into my bathroom.

Once in the confines of the shower, I let the panic tears slide.
**

“So what makes you think they know?” Tony spoke as he put a giant box of Ho Ho’s in the cart. So much for the gym.

“Well first off, they were acting super strange last night when I came home,” I answered as I pushed the cart down the aisle.

“Did you have your shirt on backwards again?” Tony questioned, snickering to himself.

“Fuck off,” I slapped him on the bicep, stifling a laugh, myself. “It was one time, and luckily, she didn’t notice,”

“Dick game so strong it makes her forget how to put on clothes!” Tony joked, his tone loud in the nearly empty grocery store.

“You’re so embarrassing!” I whisper-yelled at him as an old woman grimaced at us from the frozen food section a few feet away. “You’re making old women look at us strangely,”

“At least I know how to put my clothes on.”

“I was tired!” I shouted in defense.

“Okay, whatever,” Tony rolled his eyes before kicking me in the butt jokingly. “But in all seriousness, what makes you think they know?”

“I was making them breakfast this morning because they were both hungover and passed out-” I began, but Tony cut me off.

“Faded Fortnight,” Tony nodded in understanding, tossing a bag of Doritos in the cart as he did so.

“Yeah, whatever that is. But Mike woke up before Delaney did and we were talking a little bit, and out of no where he asked me how last night was,” I explained, thinking about the situation again in my head. It was so peculiar, it had to mean that he knew.

“That could mean anything, Ash. He knew you weren’t home, maybe he just wanted to know how your night was because you were out,” Tony shrugged.

“You’re being too calm about this! I know he was talking about me being with you last night because then when I asked him what he meant, he started saying ‘I know that you and To-’ but then his sentence cut off because Delaney walked out of her bedroom,”

“It’s just Mike,” Tony said cooly.

I furrowed my eyebrows at him, suddenly confused as to why he was being so at ease with the situation. I felt agitation pricking in my veins.

“Just Mike,” I snorted. “Even though he’s one of Delaney’s best friends and could tell her about what’s going on at anytime. It’s okay, it’s just Mike,” my tone was escalating quickly and I felt bad for my sudden bitchiness, but the way Tony was blowing off the situation as nothing was creating a rise in my chest that I couldn’t conquer.

“Why is it such a big deal if Delaney knows?” Tony asked, and when he did, I stopped in my tracks.

Why was it such a big deal if she knew? I was an adult, surely I was capable of creating my own relationships and having my own opinions. I didn’t need Delly’s approval, I didn’t need to keep my love life a secret. But for some reason, keeping it a secret felt necessary. With everything that my mom said at lunch yesterday, Delaney must be moving on a preconceived notion that I’m a whore that sleeps around. I didn’t want her to think that I was sleeping with her friend when I had just met him, although that was the truth. I didn’t want Delaney to think badly of me.

“Earth to Ashlynn?” Tony waved his hand in front of my face to snap me out of my reverie. “You’ve been staring at a bag of trail mix for like two minutes straight without responding to me. Do you want the trail mix that bad? We can get it if you want…” Tony chuckled and I shook my head at him.

“I don’t want the trail mix,” I said lowly, hardly audible.

Tony sighed deeply before pushing the cart forward, an awkward silence filling the air.

A few minutes passed by before anyone said anything.

“Look, we don’t have to tell her if you don’t want to,” Tony stopped the cart, turning to face me. He pulled me in closer to him by grabbing my wrist gently. “I just don’t want you guys to get off on the wrong foot if she finds out,” Tony elaborated.

“Let’s just...let’s just not worry about this right now. If she asks me, I’ll be honest. Until then, I don’t think I should feel obligated to say anything.”

I thought about it, and as the words came out of my mouth, I knew they were true. I didn’t have to be the one to speak up first. I wasn’t necessarily keeping any secrets from her if she hadn’t asked me specifically what was going on. But then I thought back to when we were in Ikea, when she asked if any guys were in my life at the moment and how I tensed up and said no, because just that morning I had slept with someone I had just met. I didn’t know it was going to be one of her closest friends, I didn’t know that things would end up to be this way, they just did. I thought back to yesterday when Delly was taking a picture of my hair and Tony had texted me and how quick I was to grab my phone and tell her to ignore it. I was keeping secrets from her, I was just trying my hardest to convince myself that I wasn’t hiding anything.

There were a lot of things that I hadn’t been honest with Delaney about. In fact, the only things she really knew about the person that I am today as opposed to the person that I was a few years ago is that now, I had a track record of sleeping with my coworkers, I had picked up and moved away without so much as a text, I had gotten a few more tattoos, and that I wasn’t on the best terms with my family members. Looking at it, it’s like Delaney hardly knows me at all.

I swallowed the lump that was forming in my throat, daring me to release all these demons that I had tried so hard to cage. Coming to terms with the fact that you aren’t a very good person is an ego-shedding task. I looked back to everything that has happened within the past two years of my life and I can’t pinpoint a single thing that I had done good. The amount of bad things that I had done were innumerable, and suddenly, they were unattainable as they all came flooding back to reach the front of my brain where I was soaking in all that was circulating in my head at that moment. So there I stood, frozen in the cereal section of the local Trader Joe’s, tears slipping silently from my eyes while standing next to the only person that had made me feel alive in the past few months. I came to the realization that not only did Delaney not know the person I had become, but Tony didn’t either. Hell, I didn’t know the person that I had become. I had just stomached all of the pain for so long that I let it turn me into something that I wasn’t.

“Ashlynn, why are you crying?” Tony’s voice broke me apart from my thoughts yet again, but I couldn’t seem to form words to respond to him with. The only thing that I thought to do was look into his eyes. The coffee brown irises that had captivated me from the start, the milky pools that enveloped me and made me feel like I was actually something in a world full of chaos. Once I looked into his endearing gaze, my thoughts completely shattered. I had felt so up in the clouds and away from the Earth for a few moments, getting so transfixed in my own thoughts that they caused me to float away. But when I looked into his eyes, I felt my feet touch the ground again. I felt calm.

Without so much as a second thought, I wrapped my arms around his neck and brought his body closer to mine. I squeezed as tight as I could manage, clutching onto him for dear life. Hesitantly, he wrapped his arms around my body, holding me close. I buried my head into his t-shirt, breathing in deeply, capturing his scent so that when he wasn’t around, I could think of how he smelled so I could have a tiny bit of comfort. Tony made me feel safe, he made me feel secure. Even on that first night at the bar, he had taken me away from reality. The only thing that tamed my thoughts was him, and the only thing that I felt sure about was him.

“Oh, hi,” he chuckled into my ear, nuzzling his nose into my neck. “What was that all about?” he asked, all the while still holding onto me tightly.

“I was just thinking, I guess,” I managed, breathing in deeply.

“About Delly?” Tony asked me, softly rubbing my back.

“About a lot of things. But it doesn’t matter. None of it matters, because you’re here.”

It was corny, I’ll admit. Standing in a random aisle of a grocery store, clutching onto him like my life depended on how strongly I could hold him. But it made sense. It made sense in all of the ways that it didn’t make sense, kind of like how the sky is blue. No one knows why the sky is blue, it just makes sense for it to be because that’s all that we are used to.

Tony made me feel like nothing else mattered except for what was happening right at that moment when I was surrounded by nothing but his presence, his embrace, his warmth.

And if that was running from my problems, then I never wanted to face them.

Notes

Sorry for the lack of updates for this! We try and do one every week, but we try to make sure that we have a prewritten chapter for each character before we put another chapter up on the site. We've been busy, but we're working around it!

Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy this! Tell us what you think (: A new chapter will most likely be posted next week sometime. We have big things in store for this!

-Jolee