Don't Rain On My Parade

| Taylor's POV|

"Mom!" I call as I walk into my house from my date with Tony. My hair dripping wet from our splash war at the beach. My wet dress and underwear in my hands and Tony's clothed on my body. "Im home!"

"In here!" My mother calls from the kitchen.

"Hey." I walk in to see her reading a food magazine and her feet proped up on the counter.

"How was it?" She asks. "Oh my." She looks up from the magazine to see wet hair and clothes in hand.

"Pretty good." I smile remembering when we were behind the theater and got caught.

"Tell me everything." She say putting her elbows on the counter and her chin onto her fist. Shes acting like a teenager and its kinda weird. Normally she would be yelling at me for being dripping wet on her kitchen floors.

I told her about dinner and the movies and the beach, leaving out the whole kissing and behind the theater parts. I walk over and grab one of our hand towels from the counter and pull all of my hair to one side to attempt to dry it.

My mom gasps. "What the hell is that?!" She points to my neck.

"What? Eww, is it seaweed?!" I run over to the mirror we had on the wall. "Shit." I whisper to my self as I see the purpley red mark on my neck. A hickey. Damn it Tony.

"I didn't think you would actually do it! The condom was a joke!" She yells at me throwing her hands into the air. I hate when she does this. She assumes shit and makes me feel like I'm the biggest fuck up in the world. This happens on a weekly basis.

"Mom! We didn't use the condom!" I pull it out of my wallet and throw it onto the counter.

She gasps again, pulling her hand on her chest for added effect. "Unprotected sex!! Taylor Smith, I honestly expected more from you!" You know I'm in trouble when she uses my last name. She's still pissed that I never changed it to hers after dad left.

Of course. I just make it worse by opening my God damn mouth. "Mom! We didn't. Have. Sex."

"Right," she scoffs. "And that hickey isn't a hickey, you fell into a door knob!"

"Wow, you really don't trust me? I say I didn't have sex and you don't believe me?! And you wonder why I'm so fucked up!!" I hit my fingers off my forehead and with that I run up stairs to my room. I knew I was being a bit harsh, but she never believes me. It's not like I did something to lose her trust. I've had enough.

I grab my towel and razor from my sock drawer and rush into the bathroom, slamming the door. I take off Tonys clothes and throw them across the room and turn the shower on really hot. I lay down in the tub with the razor in my hand.

I push down hard and drag the blade across my skin adding another line to the collection on my wrist. The crimson blood surfaces and rushes down my wrist into my hand. I furiously add another as a tear slides it's way down my cheek.

A little voice comes into my head. It starts to beckon to me. Nobody cares. It says. "Shut up." Nobody cares. "Shut up!" I yell. Just as a drop of blood gets to the tip of my finger and drips down slowly, it hits the bathtub floor and I start to have an anxiety attack. I've have only a couple small ones before but this one hit me like a ton of bricks.

I start to feel like I can't breath. I'm hyperventilating. That's when everything goes black. ~

I wake up in a bright room. My vision blurry. I look around, my eyes try to focus. I look over to my arm to see an IV in it. A hospital? I'm in a hospital? Why am I here? I can't remember what would have put me in her when all of a sudden I have a flash of realization. I was in the tub, cutting again and I blacked out.

"Sweety?" I hear my mom's voice coming from my right side. I moan and close my eyes again feeling drowsy.

~(Dreaming)~

Im at my front door. Everything is black and white. I turn the knob, push the door open and go in. In the distance, I hear sobbing. It's coming from up stairs. I walk over to the staircase and cautiously make my way up. Everything was dark other than a sliver of light coming from the bathroom.

I slowly walk closer to the light. The sobs growing louder and louder. I push open the door and see my mom on her knees, crying.

I walk to her side. "Mom?" She doesn't respond. "Mom , what's wrong?" I ask again. I glance into the tub. My limp body is laying there covered in the crimson red blood. The blood had been the only thing colored.

I look at myself in the tub, blood covered. Then I look down at my own hands. They were also covered with blood. All of a sudden, everything goes red.

I 're-appeared in an ambulance. I was looking at my body, covered in blood like before, lying unconscious. The only colors black, white, and red again but you could still tell I was very pale.

Just then, my body gains consciousness and sits up right, head tilted back, and let's out a blood curtailing cry that was filled with so much emotion. I'm terrified at just the sound of it. A mixture of fear and pain.

My body gets pushed down by all the nurses in the ambulance. I start to flail violently, still letting out a hysterical cry. My eyes wide and blood shot. I looked as if going insane.

I can't look any longer. I place my hand over my eyes. "It's just a dream. It's just a dream." I repeat to myself. "This didn't actually happen. Everything's just a dream." I try to steady my breathing. My hand still over my eyes.

Everything goes silent. I pull my hand from my eyes and see a big field of flowers. All red roses. All the color was restored. The sky blue and the roses red and their stems a bright green as if in a painting.

"Hello." I turn around to see Tony. He's in a fancy suit and tie and was holding a red rose.

"Where are we?" I ask in a whisper. I was so confused. He didn't answer me and he falls back into the ground and disappears. All of the roses around me shrivel up and grow wilted. All color drips away like water color on a canvas. Storm clouds roll over head. I gulp hard and the ground beneath me drops like a trap door. ~

I wake up with a flinch of my legs. "Taylor?" I hear someone on my left side. They reach up over and grab my hand.

"Tony?" I ask softly, my throat dry.

"Yeah it's me." He whispers. He kisses my hand. "I was so worried."

"im sorry." I look over and see a tear drip down his cheek. I've never seen Tony cry before. "Don't cry. I'm fine now." I gave him a weak reassuring smile. I look down at my arm where I had cut. There was a large gauze pad covering it.

"They were really deep." Tony cooes. "Tay, you have to promise to stop." He sniffles.

"I don't want to make a promise I know I'll break."

"Try. Promise to try to stop. For me. And for you. I can't stand seeing you like this. " He kisses my hand again and I wipe away one of his stray tears with my thumb.

"I promise I'll try." I whisper. He wraps his pinky around mine.

"Pinky promise?" He asks with a smirk.

"Pinky promise." I agree. "Hey, does Jaime know where I am?" I ask. He chuckles then points to Hime, passed out on a chair, his neck in a very weird position. "Wow. How long have you guys been here?"

"We got here at two."

"Am?! What time is it now?" I didn't realize it was morning already.

Tony checks the clock. "Four am."

"Shit. I've been out that long?"

"The had to give you some meds to knock you out because you weren't 'cooperating'." He air quotes with his fingers. I think back to the dream I had just had. That couldn't have been real. Could it have been? "They also didn't want you to wake during the stitches." He points to my arm.

"Stitches?" I ask concerned.

He nods. "You should get some more rest." Tony says leaning over and kissing my forehead.

"You should to. You look tired. Goodnight. Err, morning?"

He chuckles. "Sweet dreams." He kisses my hand and I fall into a deep sleep.This time, no nightmare.
~

I wake up, sunshine spilling through the shades. I look over to see Hime with a coffee in his hands watching tv. His feet on another chair. "Jaime?" He looks over to me.

"Your up!" He rushes to my side. "How ya feeling?" His voice worried.

"Been better." I sigh. He chuckles. "where's Tony?" I look around the room.

"He left a few minutes ago to get some coffee. Should be back soon. Just as he says that, the door opens and Tony walks in with a coffee in one hand and the other behind his back.

"Good! Your up." Tony smiles brightly. Closing the door with his foot.

"Yeah." I yawn.

"I got you something." He pulls his hand from behind him, he holds in front of him a red rose. Just like the ones in my dream. I start to replay it in my head. All that blood, all that crys of pain, and all the red roses.

I try to thank him but no words can escape me. I start to not be able to breath. I was having another attack. "Taylor?" Tony sounded concerned as he dropped the rose and came to my side. The beeping on the heart rate monitor starts to grow rapidly fast.

My eyes start to go blurry and I can faintly hear Tony call my name, as if I was underwater. I black out.

~(Dreaming)~

I open my eyes. I look to my left and to my right. I was in a cushioned box. Sitting up, I look to my hands that held a bouquet of red roses. My body had been clothed in an old flower print dress.

I look to my right. A crowd of people all in black with their heads bowed. A funeral. I was at a funeral. My funeral. I jump out of the coffin and run to the large doors, bouquet still in hand.

I throw open the doors and rush out into a field of red roses. The same one as in my other dream. I run through the field, my feet and ankles getting cut up with the thorns. I run. And run. And run.
~

I wake again. Nurses hovering over me looking at me. "Are you alright?" one of them asks. My whole body is shaking and I can't stop it.

Does it look like I'm alright? I think to myself. Another nurse puts something into my IV bag and seconds later I feel numb and my body stops shaking.

I see some male nurses pushing Jaime and Tony out the door. I reach my hand out for them. I need them right now. I'm terrified out of my fucking mind and I need with me but the nurses pushes them out the door and draws the shades on the window to the hall so they cant even peer in.

"Please." I whisper. Hand still reaching for the door. None of them hear me. I look down to my left. A single red rose lay on the ground. "Please."

Notes

Hey guys!! Hope you like this chapter!
Im so sorry I haven't been updating very often.
Its just I haven't been feeling well, mentally or physically lately. :(
But I would still love love love to hear what you think!
I know it's not to to close but how should I end the story? I suck at endings so I need some help please.

So please vote/comment/&subscribe <3

Stay Beautiful ;)