“So, you both lost the baby?” Jake asked, seeing as he was listening intently.

“Yeah. It was hard on both of us, but sometime passed before we realized that maybe it wasn’t time.” I looked around and saw a few people walking past. A girl past me, she wore a red shirt with a black pencil skirt and she winked at me, causing me to stiffen and look away.

“So, then what?” Jake asked.

“We went back to normal; small tours and concerts here and there with other bands. It was still a good two years before Selfish Machines was released but we knew our fan base grew a lot. By then, Julie and I were like any other normal married couple. It still scared me that I could lose her any given day but I kept my cool. I knew she wasn’t leaving me anytime soon. Then, a year later, she had her usual check up and when she got out, she ran at me full speed.” I chuckled, thinking back to that day.

“She was grinning like a mad man and she jumped up at me, in the middle of the waiting room. That’s when I hear the words, ‘ready to be a dad again?’ I was beyond ecstatic and I couldn’t believe it. We got another chance to be a family again.”

“But what about tours? Didn’t you do a solo tour at one point?” Jake asked. I nodded and thought back to the tour and concerts during her pregnancy.

“Yeah, but they didn’t turn out like we wanted it to. At one point, I was even ready to quit the band.”

(September)

This is bullshit.

I glared at Vic as he glared at me. The venue was practically screaming for us to go on and here we were, outside yelling at each other. “What part of, ‘my wife needs me’ do you not understand Vic?” I growled.

“The part where she clearly told you that Casey was watching her!” Vic yelled.

“Vic, I know what I’m doing! I need to watch her!” I yelled.

“Michael! She is fine!” Vic yelled, making sure to get it through my head, of course, me being stubborn, I didn’t listen. “Casey is with her, you need to keep your space! You can’t be with her all the damn time! We all love her and want her to be fine, but we need to go out and perform!” Vic yelled.

“Fine, then I quit the band!” I yelled, turning around and walking away. I heard Vic calling me but I ignored him, just walking away from the venue. I reached a bench, sitting and just thinking. All this was going crazy. Julie was only three months pregnant; Dr. Evans said that we need to keep a close eye on her and I have been. But the band is getting in the way. I can’t take care of her and be in it. Quitting is the only option left.

“Hey man.” Jaime walked over. I ignored him as he sat next to me. “Listen, we all know what you feel. We know we can lose her at any given time, but we need to be strong for her. Before you, she was fine, and she still is. Just because she’s married now, doesn’t mean she needs to depend on you for every little thing.” Jaime spoke.

“Hime, she needs me.” I whispered.

“And she needs us. Just like we all need her.” He answered. “The band needs you like she needs you. Casey is with her, he’s watching her. She’s doing fine. Now, let’s go and kick ass, then you can go and be with her.” I knew Jaime meant well, but he just didn’t understand.

“What if I lose her?” I asked, tears welling up.

“That’s why you’re acting like this.” Jaime sighed. “You won’t lose her. Julie promises you every day that when you come back, she would be waiting for you with your child.” Jaime answered, patting my back. “Come on, the fans must be going crazy.”

Notes

Sorry I haven't been updating like I should. I started college and my English teach is such a little shit for handing so much fucking homework. :( How does another update tomorrow or Tuesday night sound? :)