One Hundred Sleepless Nights
Calls
I took a sip of some natural tea that Katelynne has brought me because it apparently helps morning sickness. It's not working though. I'm at hers. Seeing as I'm not fit for work with all these emotional breakdowns she's been having me around a lot. I think she's trying to convince Kellin to let me model his new collection.
Katelynne is sitting across from me. Suddenly she starts to frown deeply, like she has a huge bomb to drop on me. I doubt it would beat mine. But she's looking very serious and motherly, like she's twenty years older, not two.
"I have something to tell you," she breathed.
"What?" I asked seriously.
"I've spoken to Mom and Dad," she explained.
"What's happened?"
"Well, they've finally agreed on divorce,"
"That's final," I said.
"Yes," she nodded. "Dad's left. No one knows where he is,"
"Not for sure," I said.
Him leaving isn't a surprise. He flew to Thailand for three weeks when he discovered Katelynne would be a single mom. We both knew he was tucked up in bed with his Thai girlfriend in the expensive apartment he pays for. The only thing his 'lover' and I share is our age.
"Is Mom okay?" I asked gently.
"She's not mad at you anymore, or even disappointed. She just doesn't want to see you in the state she's in," Katelynne explained carefully.
"She's drinking again, isn't she?" I asked, already knowing.
I really predicted this well.
"Yeah, but not as bad as before,"
"That still means she's drinking herself senseless," I stated.
"Please, Zee," Katelynne tried.
"I'm sorry,"
"Don't be. This was all coming. You just fuelled it,"
"I'm sorry for being as stupid to sleep with him," I muttered.
"Don't talk like that. You're not the only one who did it, you need to remember that," she reminded him.
"I don't need you to make me feel better, Kate. I just need you to be there," I explained. "And not tell Kellin," I added.
"Not until you're ready," she smiled.
"Thank you," I said and hugged her.
There was a beep of a horn outside and I looked out. It was the cab I ordered. I smiled at Katelynne and she looked out.
"Call me tomorrow," she ordered.
"I will," I nodded.
We walked to the front door and Katelynne opened it. I waved to her and headed for the cab. Once I was inside I gave the driver my address and he pulled out onto the road.
After ten minutes I got a call. I looked at my phone and saw a number I didn't recognise. I frowned but answered it.
"Hello?" I asked.
"Hi, it's me," a male voice said.
"Sorry?" I asked.
"Vic," he replied and I stiffened.
How did he get my number? He doesn't have a reason to call me. We had sex and then kissed at my party. That was it. He has someone else now, he doesn't need to contact me.
"Oh, hi," I muttered. "I'm actually really busy now," I said and saw the cab driver look at me in his mirror.
"Zandra, we need to talk,"
"We don't," I said and laughed shrilly. "If it's about what happened with us at my party. I won't tell your girlfriend," I promised quickly.
"Just listen to me, please," Vic sighed, annoyed.
"Okay,"
"We slept together and then we kissed. I don't get it. When I think about you I couldn't care less. You don't mean much to me,"
"Well thanks," I snapped dryly.
"Let me finish," he begged. "But when I see you I can't help myself. Things just happen. That's why I try to ignore you, I don't want to. Then I walk away and I go back to feeling nothing. It's just when I see you," Vic explained. "Do you get me?" he asked.
"No," I said quickly.
"You must feel the same,"
"I'm sorry, I don't, Vic," I told him firmly.
I wasn't sure if I was lying or not. I don't spend my time pining after Vic, not really. Yes, I've been thinking about him a lot recently. He's the father of my baby and he also doesn't know. I'm bound to think of him. I've fantasised about him being there with me. But I also have the same daydreams about Austin. They don't mean much.
"You're lying. Why did you kiss me then?" Vic demanded.
"You kissed me!" I exclaimed.
"And you kissed back," he countered. "You didn't care about my girlfriend then,"
"I don't have to listen to this," I said angrily.
"No, you'll just hang up. We'll see each other again, then what?"
"Vic, you can't lecture me. You ignore me for over a month. So because you start having wet dreams about me don't you dare think you have the right to call me up and talk all this shit to me!" I screamed. "I can't run away from this, it's following me. So just leave me until my life has some small sense of normality to it," I begged desperately.
Then I hung up. I threw my phone down onto the seat and wiped my eyes. I grabbed at my hair and took deep breaths.
"Are you okay?" the cab driver asked cautiously.
"I'm fine," I told him steadily.
Katelynne is sitting across from me. Suddenly she starts to frown deeply, like she has a huge bomb to drop on me. I doubt it would beat mine. But she's looking very serious and motherly, like she's twenty years older, not two.
"I have something to tell you," she breathed.
"What?" I asked seriously.
"I've spoken to Mom and Dad," she explained.
"What's happened?"
"Well, they've finally agreed on divorce,"
"That's final," I said.
"Yes," she nodded. "Dad's left. No one knows where he is,"
"Not for sure," I said.
Him leaving isn't a surprise. He flew to Thailand for three weeks when he discovered Katelynne would be a single mom. We both knew he was tucked up in bed with his Thai girlfriend in the expensive apartment he pays for. The only thing his 'lover' and I share is our age.
"Is Mom okay?" I asked gently.
"She's not mad at you anymore, or even disappointed. She just doesn't want to see you in the state she's in," Katelynne explained carefully.
"She's drinking again, isn't she?" I asked, already knowing.
I really predicted this well.
"Yeah, but not as bad as before,"
"That still means she's drinking herself senseless," I stated.
"Please, Zee," Katelynne tried.
"I'm sorry,"
"Don't be. This was all coming. You just fuelled it,"
"I'm sorry for being as stupid to sleep with him," I muttered.
"Don't talk like that. You're not the only one who did it, you need to remember that," she reminded him.
"I don't need you to make me feel better, Kate. I just need you to be there," I explained. "And not tell Kellin," I added.
"Not until you're ready," she smiled.
"Thank you," I said and hugged her.
There was a beep of a horn outside and I looked out. It was the cab I ordered. I smiled at Katelynne and she looked out.
"Call me tomorrow," she ordered.
"I will," I nodded.
We walked to the front door and Katelynne opened it. I waved to her and headed for the cab. Once I was inside I gave the driver my address and he pulled out onto the road.
After ten minutes I got a call. I looked at my phone and saw a number I didn't recognise. I frowned but answered it.
"Hello?" I asked.
"Hi, it's me," a male voice said.
"Sorry?" I asked.
"Vic," he replied and I stiffened.
How did he get my number? He doesn't have a reason to call me. We had sex and then kissed at my party. That was it. He has someone else now, he doesn't need to contact me.
"Oh, hi," I muttered. "I'm actually really busy now," I said and saw the cab driver look at me in his mirror.
"Zandra, we need to talk,"
"We don't," I said and laughed shrilly. "If it's about what happened with us at my party. I won't tell your girlfriend," I promised quickly.
"Just listen to me, please," Vic sighed, annoyed.
"Okay,"
"We slept together and then we kissed. I don't get it. When I think about you I couldn't care less. You don't mean much to me,"
"Well thanks," I snapped dryly.
"Let me finish," he begged. "But when I see you I can't help myself. Things just happen. That's why I try to ignore you, I don't want to. Then I walk away and I go back to feeling nothing. It's just when I see you," Vic explained. "Do you get me?" he asked.
"No," I said quickly.
"You must feel the same,"
"I'm sorry, I don't, Vic," I told him firmly.
I wasn't sure if I was lying or not. I don't spend my time pining after Vic, not really. Yes, I've been thinking about him a lot recently. He's the father of my baby and he also doesn't know. I'm bound to think of him. I've fantasised about him being there with me. But I also have the same daydreams about Austin. They don't mean much.
"You're lying. Why did you kiss me then?" Vic demanded.
"You kissed me!" I exclaimed.
"And you kissed back," he countered. "You didn't care about my girlfriend then,"
"I don't have to listen to this," I said angrily.
"No, you'll just hang up. We'll see each other again, then what?"
"Vic, you can't lecture me. You ignore me for over a month. So because you start having wet dreams about me don't you dare think you have the right to call me up and talk all this shit to me!" I screamed. "I can't run away from this, it's following me. So just leave me until my life has some small sense of normality to it," I begged desperately.
Then I hung up. I threw my phone down onto the seat and wiped my eyes. I grabbed at my hair and took deep breaths.
"Are you okay?" the cab driver asked cautiously.
"I'm fine," I told him steadily.
@Eyes_like_a_car_crash
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1/6/15