One Hundred Sleepless Nights

I'm feeling a strong wave of déjà vu. No I haven't locked myself in a bathroom again. I'm back at the charity show for take two. Apparently someone promised all the fans another show. I personally only think of bad things can come out of this show. After how the last one went - the Oli situation and major on stage brawl - I can't think positively about this evening.
A load of tattooed, probably drunk and possibly hairy - in all the right places - men have gotten themselves rather cross. I don't think it's the best idea to confine them in one place. Fights are bound to happen. Brawls are bound to break out. There's bound to be unrest on the stage floor. Not that Vic will get involved, he couldn't hurt a fly. His legs are more toned that mine (not hard, I know). The only person Vic's going to be wrapping his legs around is me.
Everyone else seems completely oblivious to the tension. The fans are screaming and throwing bras on stage - damn you, All Time Low. The bands are playing and socialising. The backstage people are backstaging. I'm stood at side stage watching, keeping my eyes peeled for anything exciting that might send me into an early labour.
"I'm going on." Vic told me. I turned and saw him read with his guitar around his body.
"Okay." I told him.
"Don't I get a kiss?" he teased.
"What is it with boys wanting kisses?" I playfully groaned. I reached up with difficulty and pecked him on the lips. Vic wrapped his arm around me and gave my ass a quick squeeze before he lined up.
"Where's my kiss?!" Mike complained. I rolled my eyes and reached up to peck him on the cheek. I looked behind him and saw Jaime pouting at me. I went to kiss his cheek and he grinned at me.
"You want one to?" I asked Tony. He shrugged at me and I sighed as I kissed his cheek.
The boys ran on stage and I went back to stand with the crew. The crew being Jemma, Katelynne and Alan. Alan threw his arm around me and I leaned into him. He peered down my shirt and Kate hit him on the nose.
"What was that for?" he grumbled.
"Eyes, Ashby." she snapped. Before she went back to laughing with Jemma. If you can't hang, that's all I'm saying.
"Zee, when you have the baby will your boobs stay humongous?" Alan asked seriously.
"I don't think so. The milk will come out."
"How?"
Oh fucking hell. "It comes out the things!" I exclaimed. I felt a cramp in my stomach but this conversation is much too fascinating for me to interrupt.
"But if the baby doesn't want it will your boobs stay big and then the milk will turn to powder and be in there forever."
If I was drunk I may have laughed.
"I've never thought about it, Al'. I'll ask my midwife."
"Okay, thanks." he nodded knowledgeably.
I felt another cramp and gasped. Not now. I took hold of Alan's hand and squeezed hard. He squeezed back and didn't seem to notice how much it hurt. It didn't feel like the baby was kicking, it was a different pain.
Suddenly I felt everything below my hips tighten. I didn't know what was happening. I let go of Alan's hand and just clung onto him instead. He held my waist and seemed to be smelling my hair. He's about as much use as a chocolate tea pot.
"Fuck!" I exclaimed. "Kate!" I yelled.
"What's wrong?" she asked lightly.
"The baby... Hips... Ouch..." I gasped. Everything was tightening and loosening over and over again. Fuck. Is this labour?
"What do you feel?" Kate asked urgently.
"Tight. Cramps. It hurts."
"Shall I get a doctor?" Jemma asked calmly.
"Shall I get hot towels?!" Alan yelled. I was bending over and breathing deeply. Alan was doing the same. Bless him.
"Zee, can you breathe through it? Do you need to go to a hospital?"
"I don't know! Am I in labour?!"
"I don't know. Are you?"
"I'm in labour!" I yelled in a panic.
"What about your lady juice?" Alan asked.
Oh Christ, he means my waters.
"They don't always break." Katelynne told us.
"I'm having a baby!" I exclaimed again.
"Let's take my car." Jemma suddenly said.
Kate came to my side and took my arm. She started leading me through people. I looked back at Vic and saw he was performing.
"Shall someone get Vic and 'him'?" Jemma asked.
"No, he's busy." I eventually said. I've already partially ruined one show. I'll be damned if I ruin another. And he can't be that mad when he finds out, can he?
Alan clung onto my other arm somewhat weighing me down. Kate led me outside and Jemma went ahead to start her car. We walked to Jemma's car and only then did it click that she only had a two seater. You have got to me kidding me.
"How's this going to work?" Kate asked her.
I'm hoping that I've absorbed some of my baby's Mexican blood. Maybe then I'll be able to figure out how to fit four and a half people into a car made for two. Jemma got in first seeing as she was driving. Then Kate sat in the front seat with my heavy, pregnanted body on her lap. Alan went to the trunk.
As we drove every now and again I would feel everything tense up. Then it would relax again. Jemma was speeding. Kate was texting away manically on her cell phone like a wild texting flea and I could hear Alan hyperventilating from the trunk. So now didn't seem like a good time to tell everyone that the contractions didn't actually hurt.
We pulled up outside the hospital in the spot ambulances are supposed to park in. Kate practically carried me before we could hijack a wheelchair. Then I was wheeled to the maternity ward, Alan now calmer and flirting with everything with tits and an ass.
Kate went up to the desk and I was told to sit down quietly for a few minutes. Then I was called and Alan and Kate wheeled me through. I was told to change and drew the curtain. I put on the gross paper gown and lay back on the bed.
A minute later a nurse came in to see me. She smiled brightly which seemed totally out of place in a building where there's most likely been more deaths than births. "Legs up and I'll examine you." she said lightly. I coughed uncomfortably and did as told. Alan had his hand clasped over his eyes as Kate watched on anxiously. "Just as I thought." the nurse chuckled.
"Am I having the baby?" I asked urgently.
"You're not in labour. What you felt were Braxton Hicks. It's the uterus contracting ready for labour. Very common, not to worry." she explained and snapped the gloves off.
"So I can go?" I asked.
"Oh yeah, just get changed." she smiled and disappeared out of the door.
"Just as she thought." Alan echoed.
"She could have told me." I grumbled. Instead I changed into this paper monstrosity just narrowly beaten by tweed on plaid with floral shoes in mid October.
I got myself changed and went back out to Jemma. She looked like she was about to say something but Kate cut her off by breaking a heel on her shoe. This time Alan rode in the wheelchair.
We went outside and back to the car. After a quick argument with the ambulance drivers we drove back to the show. Jemma parked up and we all piled out of the tiny clown car. I walked ahead and went back to the green rooms.
I saw the comedy drummer from Oli's band that must be shit on principal. He came over to me, this time without any sound effects. "You're the pregnant one?" he asked.
Really? "That's me." I confirmed.
"Vic is looking for you. He's next door." he explained. I nodded in thanks and ventured next door. I hope Vic isn't mad with me, I've had a long night. I spotted him on his own sat on a couch looking at his phone over and over again. I probably should have called. I sat down next to him. Vic's head snapped sideways to look at me. First he broke out into a relieved look, then a grin, then he looked cross with me.
"Why didn't you fucking tell me, Zee?!" Vic demanded angrily. Oh no. "I was right out on stage, you could have yelled!"
"I didn't want to bother you when you were working." I replied calmly.
"But a phone call! A text! Just to know you and my baby were safe and okay! Is that so much to ask?"
"I didn't want to worry you," I sighed. "You were never supposed to find out."
"So my baby goes to hospital and I was never supposed to find out? Learn some responsibility, Zee. I have a right to know. It's the welfare of my unborn child!" I looked down. I didn't want him glaring at me. "You're not six. Look at me when I'm talking, Zandra!" Vic spat. Shit, he never calls me Zandra.
"Well sorry!" I exclaimed. That came off as angry, it wasn't supposed to be. "I didn't need you there." I defended. Angry is all I know how to do. I'm not someone to sit and talk about my feelings and calmly express my woes through a lot of cheesy metaphors.
"Well then," Vic eventually said. "You won't need me now!" he growled and got up. Then I watched as Vic stormed out of the room. Damn it.
I looked up and saw Austin's grinning face. I sighed and looked back down. "What's up?" I asked.
"Guess what!" he asked excitedly.
"If it involves my impending doom then please just tell me. I'd like it sooner rather than later." I told him dryly.
"No," he frowned at me. "I'm back together with Jemma!"
"That's great." I forced a smile.
"I know, we're going back to mine," he winked. "Goodnight Zee." he added and kissed my cheek.
"Goodnight Austin." I replied and hugged him tight. Austin was nearly out of the room when he turned back.
"By the way, Vic's next door. He looks really sad."
"Okay." I sighed. I got up and ignored the heavy feeling in my chest that told me I should run away. I went next door and peered inside. There was a party going on. But Vic looked more depressed than a depressed person at a depressed convention. I went inside and joined him on the couch. He nodded to let me know he knew I was there.
"Sorry." I mumbled.
"I'm sorry too." he sighed. "We need to stop fighting, Zee."
"I know, Vic." I agreed heavily. I leant against him and Vic opened his arms for me. He held me and was kissing my hair gently. Being with Vic was soothing. Nothing could hurt me. "I love you, Vic." I admitted as he held me close to him, so I could hear the steady rhythm of his strong Mexican heartbeat.
"I love you too. I really love you." Vic replied easily. But I knew he was telling the truth, I just knew. Call it pregnant woman intuition.
"It's not working, is it?" I asked grimly.
"No." Vic finally sighed. "You know what we have to do?"
"Yeah and I hate it."
"Me too." he admitted.
"Friends for the baby?"
"Friends for the baby." Vic confirmed.
It's not like we have much choice.

Notes

Hey! I'm back! Did you miss me? Did you miss Zandra? What did you think? Please tell me, I feel a little rusty. Was it... funny? I hope so. I know a few people have asked for this chapter!