What have I done? It was a one time thing, I was drunk and so was he. This can't be right, maybe there's been some kind of mistake. The test is broken or faulty. But there's the line. Glaring back at me. I can almost hear it hissing 'you're knocked up!' at me. I don't want to believe it. But it's obviously correct, I'm just in denial.
I can't be pregnant. I can barely look after myself. I still send my ironing to my big sister's for Christ's sake! A little sad for a twenty five year old, I know. But I don't even have a proper job. I'm a model, so obviously my career is over. Who's going to hire a pregnant model?
I don't want to move from this toilet seat. I'll just stay locked in this bathroom, even if that means risking starvation. My death if I left would be so much more painful.
If I don't die Vic will. Kellin is bound to kill him when everyone finds out . . . I can't even say it. Vic is the father. If my brother in law doesn't kill him then Alan will. Even Austin might consider it. Then they'll both get sent to prison.
Sleeping with Sirens and Of Mice and Men will both break up. The left over band members will all turn to sex, drugs or drink to numb their pain and it'll be all my fault. I'll get so much hate mail.
Then there's my sister, Katelynne. She'll have no husband because he's too wrapped up in being a convict behind bars. Copeland and the boys will have no father figure resulting in rebellion before their thirteenth birthdays.
My parents will be so horrified that they'll start talking again just to shout at me. My dad will finally move to Thailand with his girlfriend. Mum won't be able to pay the bills and hit the bottle.
Austin will come with me to my appointments and be my birthing partner and visit me in my trailer. Then he'll be disowned by his friends for associating with the girl that slept with Vic Fuentes and got him killed.
As for Pierce the Veil, they're finished. Whether is grief, brothels, drugs or rock 'n' roll.
This is worse that Jerry Springer. We should really have used a condom.
An hour later I leave the bathroom. I've spent all of my time hoping the test will change and I've taken one of Katelynne's 'emergency' tests. As I open the door I know I have to tell someone, I just have to. But who do I tell? Not Kellin. There's only one person that will listen and not kill me before I finish the conversation. Austin. I know I should tell Vic first. But I can't, not yet anyway.
I don't want him to know. I've never really spoken to Vic much. Which is why it would be a mystery to most people how I have come to carry the man's child.
I was at Kellin's birthday party. He has a lot of friends that he doesn't see much and decided on a huge venue at a expensive hotel and inviting every person he's ever met.
I got out of my cab and walked inside feeling depressed. That day I had my seventh and final date with my then boyfriend, Stephen. After a lovely lunch I received a phone call. He broke up with me, or more accurately his sister did. He didn't even have the decency to do it himself.
I had called Katelynne earlier, before I paid a gang to throw a brick at Stephen's windscreen. By the time I had talked to several groups of people I had deduced that she had told everyone to avoid the Stephen subject.
But when I got to Vic after Kellin left us he broke the rule. He mentioned Stephen and I told him what happened. By this point we were both drunk and he was starting to feed me lines. He told me how 'I deserve to be happy' and 'Not to worry about that asshole'.
Normally I would have left him and silenced him. But I didn't. I let his lines work on me. I don't know why.
Vic is handsome, sure. But he's not irresistible. His hair is long and wavy, his skin very tanned and he has perfect legs. I wouldn't walk on hot coals for him though. Plus, whenever I've met him I've felt a bad vibe coming from him. I think he feels the same. There's a mutual slight dislike between us.
I remember his modest flirting turn to blatant. We walked outside so I could have a smoke and before I knew it we were kissing. His lips were on mine and moving hungrily. I just remember what a good kisser he was. Really good.
He told me he was staying at the hotel and if I wanted to go to his room. For some reason I said yes. He was already unzipping my dress before we made it through the door. Vic pushed me down onto the bed and we were pulling our clothes off. I just let Vic take the lead.
After it was quiet and awkward. Neither of us spoke and we just lay there for fifteen minutes before I gathered up the courage to see if Vic was asleep before I got dressed and snuck out.
We haven't spoken since. I think it'll be significantly harder to keep this up seeing as he's the father to my unborn child. Ugh.
I sat in Katelynne's living room with Copeland on my lap. I didn't even realise I was holding her until she hit me with a book. Katelynne walked in and took her from me. "When are you going home?" Katelynne asked.
"Don't you want me?" I asked seriously.
"Of course," she laughed. "I was just wondering whether you were staying tonight so I could get the room ready,"
"Is that okay?"
"I love the company. Kellin is recording all weekend. I'm happy to have you here,"
"Thanks Kate," I told her.
I feel like crying.

Notes

Hey! So new story . . . Again. What do you think? Do you like Zandra? Will she tell Vic? Will she tell anyone? Will the chain reaction of the destruction of her entire family happen? What do you think? :)