"Let me explain..." Vic started as soon as he sat down at the table. Jaime and Mike were off having a smoke and drinks with a few girls that approached them after their set so it was just Fae and Vic sitting at the large table. "I know you've never liked me but-"

"I've never had anything against you. What I had a problem with was how you treated Julie" Fae explained, interrupting Vic.

"That is completely understandable" Vic looked down, he was too embarrassed to look Fae in the eyes. "Can I explain to you why I wrote the song?"

"Yes, that would be a good place to start." Fae crossed her arms across her chest and leaned back in her seat. She wanted to look stern and intimidating, this was the only way she knew how. Being tall and blonde didn’t make it easy.

Still looking down, Vic started his explanation. "I loved Julie. I really did. I fell in love the moment I first met her but it terrified me. I had never felt such a connection to someone before and that scared the hell out of me."

"You had a really fucked up way of showing it."

"I know...but I was seventeen when I met her. At that age I thought with my dick, not my heart."

"What does this have to do with you telling the entire world about your past with Julie?"

"When you two left it really fucked me up. I didn't leave my house for days afterwards. I was in a really bad place and my only healthy outlet was music." Vic put extra emphasis on the word healthy and looked at Fae to make sure that she knew what he meant.

"Got it." Fae nodded.

"I wrote the melody for Besitos then - when you guys left. But I only wrote the melody, no lyrics or anything. Then Julie and I started talking again and it was great. She was back in my life and I was really happy."

"But you guys stopped talking..." Fae gave Vic a confused look, his story wasn't adding up.

"Because we got signed. The band became my life and my main focus"

"I call bullshit" Fae rolled her eyes and slouched deeper in her seat. "The one thing that Julie always told you was that she wasn't a second option or a back up plan, yet you constantly treat her like one...even when she left."

"I am aware of that. But she told me she couldn't come back so in my eyes, we were totally done"

Fae took a deep breath in an attempt to calm herself down. Vic's examination was really stupid and she had a hard time holding her tongue around stupidity. "So you couldn't be her friend. We didn't even know you guys were signed until Julie got your interview. Don't you think that at least, after everything you two went through, a little friendship is what she deserved?"

"You can't be just friends with someone you love. It’s impossible. Are you still friends with Erik?" Vic raised an eyebrow and smirked a little.

Fae laughed as she thought about her first boyfriend. They were as serious as you could be when you were fifteen and scared of sex. "Nice try Vic but Erik and I were NOTHING compared to you and Julie and you know that."

"Are you still friends?"

"We stopped talking after graduation, so no, we are not friends."

"Because it hurt too much to be just friends" Vic said knowingly, with way too much confidence in his voice.

"No you idiot, we stooped talking because he told everyone I didn't put out and I was an uptight virgin."

Vic was silent after that. Fae just smiled and nodded, loving the feeling that she had won. "Can I ask you a question?" She spoke up after a few moments of extremely awkward silence.

Vic looked at Fae and she saw sadness in his eyes. She wondered if it was because of the memories that the song brought to the surface or the fact that his best friend ran to help Julie and they weren't back yet. "Why did you have to include the part about the walls? You two were in a really bad place then so then why bring back the past?"

All Vic did was shrug. "Good song writing I guess..."

"You are going have to explain that one to Julie yourself. She might kill the messenger"

"I have to explain a lot to her." Vic stood up to go to the bar. He asked Fae if she wanted anything. She just shook her head. On his way to the bar he thought about the lyrics he wrote: sometimes the bedroom walls become my only friend.

Vic heard his door open followed by a thud on his bed. He quickly ran water over the new marks he made on his forearm and cursed under his breath.

---

"Viiiiiic!" Julie sang from his bed. "I wanna watch Prisoner of Azkaban"

"Give me a second" Vic replied as he dried his arm and rolled down his sleeves. Moments like this he wished he didn't have a bathroom connected to his bedroom. He opened the door to his room and looked at Julie. She was lying down on his bed looking at TV with a goofy smile on her face. Her eyes moved from the TV and toward Vic.

"Hello handsome" She giggled and patted the spot besides her signalling for Vic to sit beside her.

"You're awfully happy." He smiled. "I like it"

"Sorry for just stooping by unannounced. I just REALLY wanted to watch this movie." She snuggled into Vic's side once he sat down and held onto his tightly. "My favourite movie and my favourite human. Perfect day"

"Stop by more often" Vic laughed and kissed the top of Julie's head. That's when he realised why Julie was in such a good mood. "Why do you smell like my brother?" Vic asked as he pushed Julie off of him.

"Pardon me?"

"You smell just like my brother when he comes home late..."

"What exactly are you saying?" Julie crossed her arms in front of her chest and scowled.

"I'm saying you smell like weed and it reeks!" Vic realised that his voice was raising and gave Julie an apologetic look. "Sorry for yelling, I just... I thought you said you stopped smoking."

"Yeah well I started again" Julie still sat with her arms across her chest but her face fell. "I'm sorry"

"Why?"

"I was hanging out with Laura and Ryan came up to us" Julie was looking everywhere but at Vic. She knew that there would be disappointment in his eyes. "Old habits really do die hard I guess"

"Ha...yeah." Vic replied. He lifted Julie's chin and met her gaze. He grabbed onto her hands and spoke softly. "I know that we haven't been in a good place lately, and I'm really sorry. But the last thing I want is for you to go back to the girl you were around Ryan. I know I can't make you feel the way Mary, Joe and Anna do but I can try. You were never yourself when you smoked. You had the worst comedowns and you were violent. I like the sober Julie a lot better. She’s the one I want to be around, okay?”

"I just smoked today because I still had a little bit left from what Ryan gave me. Then I had the urge to watch Harry Potter and I remember that Mike had the movie so I walked over." Julie rambled, something she did often while high. Still looking into Vic's eyes Julie could feel her high starting to fade and for the first time, she didn't mind. "Smoking isn't that bad, it brought me here"

"If you can only be high to see me, I'd rather you not come over" Vic smiled but Julie knew that he had meant what he said.

"Oh shut up,” she said as she leaned in and kissed him. Julie smiled into the kiss once Vic kissed her back. She was never one to do something so bold but what Vic said made her heart skip a thousand beats and she was still quite high, even during her comedown.

Vic pushed Julie backwards onto his bed so he could lie on top of her. He loved having control over Julie. Whenever he was around her he felt so weak and vulnerable but here she was in his bed, ready to do whatever he said. As they kissed his hands roamed all over her body. Even with his eyes closed he could see how absolutely beautiful this girl was. Julie’s lips left Vic's but were immediately on his neck kissing and biting. Julie and Vic never talked about the things they enjoyed when it came to making out and sex but Julie seemed to already know exactly what to do to get Vic excited. Vic moaned at the feeling of Julie's hot breath on his skin. He pushed himself higher and looked at her. His eyes grew dark with lust and hers did the same. Vic smirked and lowered himself just a bit.

"Take off your shirt" he whispered in her ear.

"Mmhm" was all Julie could say and she did exactly as told. She was on cloud 9. The feeling from the weed and the feeling of having the boy she loved sent her mind and body to a different space. A space where her parents didn't lie and her dad acted like a father. A place where she could dance for the company of her dreams and Vic would be in the audience every night. She pulled her tank top over her head and smiled, as Vic's eyes looked her over. She lifted her hands and pulled Vic's shirt over his torso before she heard Vic yell: "Don't!"

"What? I thought you..." Julie propped herself up, extremely confused.

" I do. Oh I do, but I can't. Not today." Vic sat up and handed Julie back her tank top. "I'm sorry"

"Why not today?" Julie said as she put on her top and sat in front of Vic. Her legs wrapped around his hips and she locked her gaze with his. "Tell me"

Vic closed his eyes and sighed. With his eyes still closed her rolled up his sleeves to reveal the marks he had made moments before Julie stumbled in.

"No." Julie gasped as tears flooded her eyes.

"I'm sorry" Vic said, forcing the tears back. "Old habits really do die hard, I guess" Vic shrugged, mimicking Julie's words.

"So we both made really bad mistakes today?" Julie asked and unwrapped herself from Vic to lie back down.

With her back on the bed Julie pulled her legs up to her chest and held them there.

"You look so fucking weird when you lie down like that" Vic laughed and lay down beside her.

"Shut up, I like it" Julie muttered and stuck her tongue out at Vic. "Can I...never mind"

"Julie Portilla! What's rule number 3?"

"When we start a sentence we finish it" she mumbled under her breath. A few months into their friendship Vic had to lay down some rules so that they didn't cross any lines and didn't get on each other’s nerves too much. The problem was that Julie never liked the rules and hardly followed them.

"So, please finish. You know how much I hate that"

"Fine. Mr. Grumpy Pants today aren't we?" When Vic only looked at her with no reply Julie figured she had to finish her sentence.

"Its going to sound stupid so don't laugh. But do you ever think about your friends and realise that no one REALLY knows you? "

"What do you mean? You know me pretty well. I know you pretty well" Vic was clearly confused.

"You only see the me that I allow you to see. Like you don't know the Julie that dances around her room in her underwear and pretends to be the Mexican Hayley Williams. You know of her, but you don't know her. You don't know that I mutter really stupid shit to myself when I'm alone" Julie, still holding her legs to her chest, closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I was thinking that my bedroom walls are my only friend. They know me, and that's really fucked up."

"Only your walls know the weird shit you do alone,” Vic whispered, agreeing with Julie.

"Only they know why you cut..."

"And why you need to get high to feel happy..."

Julie’s face got serious as she looked at Vic. He knew that feeling happy wasn’t the reason why she smoked. She smoked because she liked it and it made it forget why she was unhappy.

“You make me happy Vic. Being with you makes me feel happy. Not smoking and you know that. You know that I’m in love with you but you’d rather be young, wild and free than to really see what’s right in front of you. I never want to hurt you, and really want you to get better so that’s why I’m staying. But I’m not too sure how much more I can handle.” Julie sat up, grabbed hold of Vic’s forearm and very gently placed her lips to the marks.

Vic winced but he was more shocked than in pain. “You know how I feel about you,” he whispered, bringing Julie’s face close to his.

“Sadly enough, I don’t. You’ve never told me; and I’m too sure it would be enough to just know it either” Julie kissed Vic on his cheek and left his room. Leaving him alone and wondering if that was the last time she’ll be in his room again.

---

“Did you find what you were looking for?” Julie asked as she walked up behind Vic. He was swirling around the ice in his glass cup that once held whiskey. He looked up from his glass to be met with Julie and Tony standing so close together it was as thought they were trying to join themselves at the hip.

“Huh?” Vic asked confusion flooding his brain – confusion and alcohol.

“You used to say that the only way some people find what they’re looking for is at the bottom of their glass” Julie smiled at him and sat in her original seat next to him. She placed her hand on his thigh and squeezed gently. “Did you find what you were looking for?” Julie searched his eyes for the answer but only found the effects of the whiskey and a tinge of sadness.

“Nothing that I didn’t already now.” Vic said, his voice sounded harsh despite his effort to not sound jealous and rude.

“I think it’s time that you and I talk. About everything” Julie whispered, leaning so close to him that he could feel her warm breath on his neck.

“It’s getting late” Vic stood up suddenly, knocking his chair backward. “We should go…” Vic looked down at Julie, the girl he always loved and turned around to go find Jaime and Mike.

“Did I so something?” Julie asked looking at Fae with a worried expression.

“He’s probably just upset. He’s had a few of those drinks and he did open up to me about the song” Fae explained, trying her best to make it sound like everything was okay. She too noticed how close Julie and Tony were and knew that it was going to cause trouble. Even now, Tony’s entire body was directed toward Julie, even though he sat beside the both of them at the round table.

“Oh shit,” Tony spoke and stood up, remembering how hard it was for Vic to write the song because of the girl he had just asked out. “I should take him and the rest of the guys home. Goodnight ladies” He smiled politely at Fae.

“Talk to you later?” Julie asked sweetly. She felt butterflies rise in her stomach and hoped it didn’t show on her face.

“Definitely” Tony winked and took off in the same direction as Vic.

When Julie turned around, her eyes were met with Fae’s smirking and all-knowing expression. “What?” She asked with a wide smile on her face.

“Oh you are so fucked!” Fae yelled jokingly and nudged Julie’s arm.

“Yeah, I know” Julie said, grabbing her bag and picking out her keys. “Now lets get of here before Stephen steals you away for a booty call.”

On the way home Julie thought about her moment with Tony in the bathroom. It wasn’t the most romantic setting and she didn’t look her best but Tony still seemed interested and neither of them cared where they were. She thought about how comfortable she was in his arms and how easy it was to talk to him. Then she started thinking about his lips and how they would feel on hers – how they would feel on her body, kissing and sucking…

“Wow, you’re so into him” Fae snapped Julie out of her thoughts.

“I am not. He’s just really sweet and happens to be really attractive” she retorted and as soon as it was out she knew that she was screwed. “Oh fuck me, I am into him.”

“HA!” Fae screamed in Julie’s car, almost causing her to hit on her breaks on the freeway. “Have fun telling Vic.”

Julie said nothing. Did she have to tell Vic about Tony? He hadn’t told her about any of the girls he hooked up with. But they were much younger then. Julie wasn’t going to play Vic’s childish games. However, Julie really liked Tony…a lot. This wasn’t a game to her, this was her heart and there was no time for games when it came to love. Julie drove home in complete silence but her mind was racing with memories of Vic and the new excitement of Tony. She had a lot of thinking to do; either way, someone was going to get hurt.

Notes

Sorry it took so long to update. Already working on Chapter 9 so don't you fret.

Julie and Tony are a thing now. We'll see how this goes

Again, thank you so much for reading and rating. Means a lot.

Love yourself, love this band, Love each other
xoxo