Our Love Feels Like War
Chapter Diez
Push him away, push him away, push him away! My mind screamed inside of my head. Why am I enjoying this? Why do I want this? God dammit. I felt a hand grab my shoulder and pull me back.
“What the fuck Vic?” Mike exclaimed.
Vic glanced at Mike before glaring at me. “I need you out of my life Nicole. First you kill my best friend, and now you’re fucking with my head.”
I sighed, exasperated. For someone so smart, he sure was stupid. “I’m not fucking with your head Vic, you’re head is just naturally fucked up,” I shot back.
“You fucking bitch,” He hissed, pointing at me, “At least I’m not trying to kill myself.”
“I wanted to kill myself because of you! You made me feel so worthless, so fucked up, that I wanted to kill myself! And you know what? If I killed myself, it would be your fault. You would be responsible for my death.”
“I didn’t do anything! Why would I be responsible for you death?”
“Like how I didn’t do anything when Jake walked into that building?”
“That was completely different!”
“How is that different?”
“If you hadn’t started that damn fire, then he would still be alive and you wouldn’t have those scars!”
“Those burn scars aren’t from that fire Vic.”
“What do you mean?”
I stared at him, not sure of what to say, “Nothing. I don’t mean anything.”
He gripped my wrist tightly and stared intently into my eyes. “Tell. Me. Now.”
Ripping my hands out of his grasp, I glared at him. “Why should I tell you Vic? Huh? You abandoned me when I needed you. You would bully me at school; you would do anything to see me suffer! Now tell me why, why I should tell you anything. You were my best friend and you left me. You were the reason for all my attempts to kill my self.”
“All your attempts,” Vic choked out.
Fuck. I did not just tell him all that, “I’m just going to go now,” I muttered quietly, turning around.
“Wait do-” Tony held his hand out towards me.
“Don’t.” I said quietly, before leaving.
The bridge. The fucking bridge. It was so tempting; I wanted to jump so badly, to feel the water in my lungs.
Do it. The voice taunted me. I dare you to fucking do it.
Vic’s POV
I never intended her to feel that way. I never wanted her to torture herself. Guilt washed over me. So bad, I wanted to run after her and wrap her in a hug so bad. To tell her I’m sorry and that I didn’t want her to kill herself.
You’re head is just naturally fucked up.
It was true. I was fucked up. I mean, who does that? Who tells their own best friend to kill themselves? Who leaves their best friend like that? I do. And I fucking regret it so much. And the thing is, I might not see her ever again.
“What the fuck Vic?” Mike exclaimed.
Vic glanced at Mike before glaring at me. “I need you out of my life Nicole. First you kill my best friend, and now you’re fucking with my head.”
I sighed, exasperated. For someone so smart, he sure was stupid. “I’m not fucking with your head Vic, you’re head is just naturally fucked up,” I shot back.
“You fucking bitch,” He hissed, pointing at me, “At least I’m not trying to kill myself.”
“I wanted to kill myself because of you! You made me feel so worthless, so fucked up, that I wanted to kill myself! And you know what? If I killed myself, it would be your fault. You would be responsible for my death.”
“I didn’t do anything! Why would I be responsible for you death?”
“Like how I didn’t do anything when Jake walked into that building?”
“That was completely different!”
“How is that different?”
“If you hadn’t started that damn fire, then he would still be alive and you wouldn’t have those scars!”
“Those burn scars aren’t from that fire Vic.”
“What do you mean?”
I stared at him, not sure of what to say, “Nothing. I don’t mean anything.”
He gripped my wrist tightly and stared intently into my eyes. “Tell. Me. Now.”
Ripping my hands out of his grasp, I glared at him. “Why should I tell you Vic? Huh? You abandoned me when I needed you. You would bully me at school; you would do anything to see me suffer! Now tell me why, why I should tell you anything. You were my best friend and you left me. You were the reason for all my attempts to kill my self.”
“All your attempts,” Vic choked out.
Fuck. I did not just tell him all that, “I’m just going to go now,” I muttered quietly, turning around.
“Wait do-” Tony held his hand out towards me.
“Don’t.” I said quietly, before leaving.
The bridge. The fucking bridge. It was so tempting; I wanted to jump so badly, to feel the water in my lungs.
Do it. The voice taunted me. I dare you to fucking do it.
Vic’s POV
I never intended her to feel that way. I never wanted her to torture herself. Guilt washed over me. So bad, I wanted to run after her and wrap her in a hug so bad. To tell her I’m sorry and that I didn’t want her to kill herself.
You’re head is just naturally fucked up.
It was true. I was fucked up. I mean, who does that? Who tells their own best friend to kill themselves? Who leaves their best friend like that? I do. And I fucking regret it so much. And the thing is, I might not see her ever again.
Notes
Omfg I'm on the first page in the popular section!! Haha. This was Vic's lame wake up call but we got him feeling guilty now right? :PSong: Do You Want Me (Dead) by All Time Low
Quote: "I need a second to catch my breath, do you want me, or do you want me dead?"
Love this song haha it fits so well.
xx (:
Oh okay. Yay!l!!
11/10/13