At around midnight, Phoebe had returned home with Vic. Mike and I had spent the rest of the evening simply talking to each other—I asked him about his band and what it was like to tour all of the time, and he asked me about my social working job back home. Well, we talked most of the night—by the end, I had fallen asleep on his shoulder for the second time; although, I didn’t think he minded.

Phoebe gushed about her night with Vic at the carnival, saying that they had a lot of fun. I bet it was nice to get out, worry-free, like that, with someone knew. I asked her if he kissed her goodnight with a wiggle of my eyebrows, and she said that he only kissed her on the cheek, which I thought was really sweet. Phoebe didn’t sound overly excited about it—she was a pretty calm person and wasn’t known to freak out over dates with guys. I knew she was happy, though, and I knew it went well. I could just sense it.

It has been a few days since Phoebe had her date with Vic and since I hanged out with Mike. Vic called Phoebe a few times, which I thought was cool. For the longest time, both Phoebe and I had been boyfriend-less. I had a feeling something was stirring between her and Vic, and I was happy for her. I always felt like I was holding her back, and I had a feeling she was a little lonely in that department. I never suspected that she would meet someone when we came to San Diego; although, I should have—a new city, full of many new faces. We were bound to meet some people, especially moving to a larger area compared to the North Carolina town we grew up in. San Diego was cool and new, especially since everybody knew everybody in our hometown—it was refreshing, meeting and starting friendships with new people. It was nice having other people in our lives for the time being in San Diego. Although we didn’t know how long we were going to be here for, making new friends made the time a tad more bearable.

“Stop biting your fingernails,” Phoebe swatted my hand away from my mouth as I nervously gnawed on my fingers, my thoughts raising the level of anxiousness in my nerves.

“Sorry,” I muttered.

“Relax, buddy,” she patted my head. “You think too much.”

“What else is there to do?” I sighed.

“I know,” she whispered. “C’mon, let’s go!”

“Do I have to?” I foolishly asked. She laughed.

“Yes!”

I groaned but grabbed her hand, walking out of the house and to the car. “Oh,” I heard Phoebe say, along with the jingle of her cell phone ringtone.

“Hi, Vic,” she said calmly into the phone. “Aw, that’s sweet. Yeah, here she is!” she said. I raised my eyebrow until I felt Phoebe place her phone into my hands.

“Mike wants to talk to you,” she whispered. I nodded, raising my eyebrow again yet putting the phone to my ear. I continued to the car with the phone against my ear.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Faye,” Mike said.

I couldn’t help but laugh a little. “Hi, Mike. What’s up?”

“Oh, nothing much. I—” he paused, and I heard a muffling sound from the other end. I giggled, hearing Mike mutter inaudible things to his brother. “Er, sorry,” he said. I laughed and waited for him to carry on. “Anyway. Do you want to come over tonight? We’re organizing for next year’s tours all week but I have a free night tonight.”

“And you wanted to spend that with me?” I couldn’t help but blurt out as I buckled my seatbelt. Phoebe started the car and I felt it jerk back into reverse, turn, and then go forward to the doctor’s office.

“Of course, silly,” he said easily. “I have all of these thematic Disney and Pixar movies but nobody to cry with!” he teased.

“There will be none of that,” I laughed.

“Nah, I’m just messing with ya. I was just curious. It’s okay if you don’t want to or don’t feel comfortable,” he rushed.

“No, that sounds like fun, Mike,” I said, genuinely surprised at how easily I accepted his offer to do whatever the hell we could do at his house.

“Really?”

“Yeah, sure, why not?” I shrugged my shoulders.

“Great! I didn’t think you’d actually say yes. I thought you wouldn’t because you’ve never been here before, and you’d probably feel more comfortable at your own house, but I just wanted to—”

“Stop rambling, it’s fine,” I reassured. “A change of scenery—er, atmosphere—sounds lovely.”

“Sweet,” he said happily. “Vic and Phoebes are going out tonight, so she can just drop you off here when she comes?”

“Yeah, sure, that sounds good,” I said, feeling a little deflated because Mike invited me over only because his brother was going out with my best friend. I didn’t know why that bothered me, though.

“Awesome. See you later, then,” he said.

“Yeah, see ya,” I smiled into the phone even though he couldn’t see and handed it back to Phoebe.

“What did he want?” she asked.

“He invited me over. I don’t know why I said yes,” I frowned.

“You’re branching out a little. You’ll be safe there, don’t worry,” she patted my shoulder. I nodded just as we arrived to the office. I completely forgot about Mike and our plans as my nerves began to get the best of me.

I heard Phoebe get out of the car so I robotically followed, but when I got out and closed the door I remained pressed against the side of the car, my feet unwilling to move.

“Ph-Phoebe…” I whined.

“It’s okay, Faye, c’mon,” she tugged on my arm gently. I pulled it back, though, holding my hands into my chest.

“No, Phoebes…” I whined again, shaking my head. “I don’t want to go,” I said quietly. I legitimately sounded like a child, but I didn’t care.

“Nothing bad is going to happen, babe, just relax,” she soothed. I shook my head, blinking away tears that decided to fall anyway.

“I can’t relax, Phoebe. I’m scared,” I cried.

“There’s nothing to be scared about, Faye, I promise. This is a good thing,” she reminded me.

I took a few moments to calm myself down—the last thing I needed was an anxiety attack. I’ve heard that those were bad for normal people, but, for me, they were a million times worse. Everything being pitch black, your chest compressing and not being able to breathe, but you couldn’t look into calming eyes. You were completely and utterly lost, like anywhere you turned was the wrong direction. The air surrounding you could skim the surface of your cornea when your eyes were open, but everything was dark, as if you were clenching your eyes shut. The monsters that appeared didn’t go away when you closed your eyes. Everything was the same. The only difference in keeping your eyes wide or clamped shut was the pressure in your head.

It was a horrible, horrible sensation.

“Faye, shh,” Phoebe whispered gently, petting the back of my hair.

“O-Okay,” I breathed. “I’m sorry,” I said quietly, beginning to feel ridiculous for freaking out over a doctor’s appointment.

“It’s okay, sweetheart, I understand. The only reason why I’m pushing you is because I know how much you want this. I’ll be there with you every step of the way. You don’t have to be afraid,” she murmured, gently holding my hand and drawing calming circles on the back of it with her thumb.

I nodded. “I just hate hospitals,” I whispered.

“I know you do. It’s okay. We’re not even at one today,” she soothed. I nodded, taking a deep breath.

“Phoebes, no matter what I say or do, don’t let me back out of this, okay? If it works out. Don’t let me chicken out. I need this,” I said, a new determination in my tone.

“Okay, darling,” she whispered, giving my hand a squeeze.

“Thank you,” I whispered.

“Of course,” she said. “Now, let’s go in, okay? They aren’t doing anything, today. We are just talking, okay?”

I nodded. “Okay,” I gulped. Just talking. “Yes, let’s go.” I grabbed her hand and together we walked into the office building. The door swung open and a chill rushed over my body.

We waited in the lobby for a few minutes before a woman called us into her office. Phoebe helped me sit down with her. My hands were trembling.

“Hello, Miss Wilson,” a warm voice said, placing her hand tenderly on mine.

“Hi, nice to meet you,” I said shyly. I tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear and shifted in my seat.

“Great to meet you girls, too. My name is Dr. Rivera, but feel free to call me Sara. I hope you’ve settled into San Diego well?” she asked politely. I smiled softly but allowed Phoebe to do the talking.

“It’s a great area. We love it,” Phoebe said.

“That’s great to hear. Now, I’m sure you girls are ready to get all of this started!” she said, excitement in her voice. I snorted a little, excitement not really what I was feeling. I didn’t think they noticed though, luckily.

Phoebe’s hand touched my arm from beside me. “We’re definitely ready. A little nervous, though,” she said.

“I understand completely,” Dr. Rivera said warmly. “So, today Faye you don’t have to be nervous. It’s just a quick orientation for the program, okay?”

I nodded. “Okay,” I said quietly.

“So here’s what’s going to happen. We have to run several tests to make sure you are compatible with the operation. That will be the majority of our time together. We have to prepare you for it in stages, which means smaller operations along the way. Now, obviously this is an experimental operation, which is why you’re here for free. We think, because of the way in which you lost your eyesight, that you will be a perfect candidate for the operation. I’d explain to you how it’s going to work, but that’s not important right now. If you are suitable for it, then we’ll explain how it works. So you don’t have to worry about any technical things, just enjoy your time in San Diego and show up to your appointments,” she said with a small laugh at the end. I smiled weakly and nodded.

“If I am able to have the operation, what are the chances it will work?” I asked tentatively.

“Ah, well. The chances of you being suitable are nearly one hundred percent. We don’t want to put you under if there’s no chance at all. However, because it’s experimental, we can’t say for sure. I’m afraid to say that the chances are on the lower side, hence why our company is basically paying you to be here. But we have a lot of hope for it, too,” she said. I nodded and bit my lip.

“Do you have any questions for me right now?” she asked after a few moments of silence.

I shook my head, and Phoebe murmured the word “no.”

“Okay, great! I’ll give you my card and if you have any questions, don’t hesitate,” she said.

“Thank you,” Phoebe said.

“Of course. Now, the fun stuff,” she laughed lightly. There was a rustling sound and Phoebe laughed lightly, as well. I furrowed my eyebrows because I had no idea what they were talking about. “Paperwork,” she said in a mocking cheer.

I nodded in acknowledgment and sat back a little, knowing that I wasn’t needed for this part of our appointment. I sat quietly and let my thoughts wander. I was still nervous about the whole thing, especially with the new information that I was going to have to undergo several pre-surgeries, but I was glad we weren’t rushing into it.

The appointment was short; Phoebe filled out the appropriate papers and Dr. Rivera said a few more things, but that was it. This was just an introductory appointment, where we were sort of just “checking in” officially.

“See you next week,” she said happily when we went to leave. I shook her hand goodbye with a smile—as did Phoebe, I presume—and we turned to the car.

“What do you think?” Phoebe asked when we settled into the car.

I sighed. A lot of things were in my head; I didn’t know how to process them. One in particular stood out, one that I hadn’t considered before, and a pang of guilt shot through me the more and more I thought about it: there were other applicants for this experimental operation, other people who didn’t have eyesight but could probably use it, and I was taking away their opportunity. I was crushing other’s dreams. I’ve at least experienced eyesight once in my life, so shouldn’t people who’ve been blind their entire life get the chance? Why did I deserve this?

“Mike is right about you and your starry eyes,” Phoebe chimed. I shook my head of my thoughts. I suddenly felt Phoebe’s lips at my ears. “I know what you’re thinking,” she whispered, and I frowned because she could read me so well. “And I want you to stop thinking that, understand?” she asked, her severe tone highlighting the very mild southern accent that came out only when she was being serious. I nodded slowly. She patted my arm before pulling away, starting the car, and driving back home.

I tried my hardest to relax my overworking head. After a while of playing tug-of-war with my mind, I finally settled on a topic that I could think about while feeling peaceful. I smiled, suddenly glad that I had accepted Mike’s offer because I knew his company would help me get my mind off of things.

Notes

Kind of short and fillery and eh chapter, but necessary, too.

A lot of you were right about the whole doctor appointment stuff. I figured it was kind of obvious, anyway hahaha

Anyway, next chapter is fun, and should be up within the next 24 hours because I was going to make it connected with this chapter, but decided it would be too long and scattery so I split it up!

comment/rate/subscirbe!! :D