Innocent Blood

I actually woke up with a clear mind. The last bit of my sleep made me feel a lot more at ease, even though I technically didn’t resolve anything. I sat up and rubbed my face with my hands and then ran my fingers through my hair. I frowned, seeing that Alyssa wasn’t with me. Then, I sighed, realizing that she probably went home last night because she had to go to school today.

I glanced at the clock, seeing that it was nine in the morning. I cursed myself because I didn’t get to say bye to Alyssa—I had simply slept through everything. Even though I felt a little better, I knew that sleeping my problems away wasn’t a good idea.

I slid out of bed and walked to the bathroom to take a shower. I made sure to keep the water neutral—not too hot and not too cold—and the shower itself short. If I stood there for too long, I would think too much and things would escalate from there. I wasn’t about to let that happen.

I sighed and freshened up quickly. Stepping out of the shower, I wrapped a towel around my middle and walked back into my bedroom. I fished my closet for jeans and a real shirt to wear. I knew I’d feel better if I actually got dressed.

I put on my khaki colored skinny jeans and a black t-shirt. I flipped my hair and towel dried it, letting damp curls remain. I sighed, tracing my exposed arm. They were basically healed, but they still were unpleasant to look at. I grabbed my red and grey flannel, putting it on over my shit. I slid on my vans and shook my hair out one more time before walking out of my room.

“Hey Vic!” I jumped a little, startled by my brother’s voice.

“Hey, Mike,” I greeted him. I walked to wear my pills were and counted them, making sure I hadn’t taken any in my sleep or anything. I quickly popped two in my mouth and swallowed them dry, smiling softly at Mike when I turned back to him. “What’s going on?”

“Just me and you buddy,” he grinned. “Tony’s at work, Jaime is… well I don’t know what Jaime is doing, and Alyssa’s obviously at school,” he explained. I nodded, stepping into the main room.

“Hey, listen, Mike,” I started. I scratched the back of my neck. “I’m sorry for sort of ignoring you lately. I’m beyond happy that you’re here, and I should be spending more time with you, catching up…” my voice trailed off.

“It’s no big deal, Vic. I’m just happy to even see you again. I know you’ve got a lot going on.”

“We all do!” I said quickly.

Mike’s eyes widened a bit and I sighed lightly. “Sorry,” he tried. I growled and rubbing my face with my hands again.

“No, no, I’m sorry,” I shook my head. “I’m just sick of that,” I said. I hated being the only one with “a lot going on”. Even if it was true, I didn’t want to think or talk about it.

“That’s understandable,” he nodded. “It’s okay now. I’m alive, you’re alive. We’re both alive. That’s all that matters.”

“Yeah,” I mumbled, gazing at the floor.

“So let’s do something together today, maybe? Make up for lost time?” he smiled.

“Yeah, that’d be nice,” I approved. “What do you want to do?”

“Alyssa was telling me that you like to write music,” Mike said. I smiled broadly and then frowned. “What’s wrong?”

“We always… never mind,” I shook my head. It was silly to be sad over the fact that Mike didn’t remember how we used to always talk about being in a band together. We used to always jam together.

Mike must have known what I was thinking about, and he grimaced slightly. But the expression only remained briefly before he smiled again. “Even though I don’t remember I still think it’s awesome.”

I smiled. “Yeah? What do you think about the drums?” I asked, hoping that he would have this natural inclination towards them. Mike’s smile broadened.

“Drums are the shit. Did you know Jaime plays the bass? He used to be in a band, but they broke up. He’s got all this cool stuff at his house for recording, though,” Mike said with enthusiasm. “Maybe some day soon he can show you!”

“That’d be cool! Have you played drums since, y’know?” I asked.

“I haven’t,” Mike frowned. “But whenever I listen to music, I find myself tapping along. I had a feeling I used to play drums or something, back before the accident. I wonder if I could remember any beats,” he mused quietly.

“Let’s find out,” I grinned. I walked back to my room quickly and put on a backwards hat before grabbing my keys.

“Where are we going?” Mike asked.

“How about the music store? We can get you a new drum kit,” I suggested. Mike’s face lit up like a little kid on Christmas morning.

“What if I don’t remember how to play?” he frowned suddenly. “And I don’t have a job, meaning I have no money,” he added seriously.

“Nonsense,” I dismissed the possibility with the wave of my hand. “You were so passionate about them. There’s no way you would forget. You loved the drums, it was almost annoying,” I teased, skipping over his statement that he didn’t have money. I had enough to buy him a kit, and that was what I planned to do.

“But I loved you, too,” Mike said quietly. My head shot up and I stared at him sadly, a strike of pain slicing through my chest.

“But you remember now, it’s okay. Everything will come back eventually,” I reassured, my throat tight as I remembered life and how horrible it was without Mike, especially the first few months after his “death”.

“Right,” Mike nodded.

“Yeah. Let’s go!” I smiled before he could object.

We walked downstairs to my car, and I sat in the driver’s side while he bounced happily in the passenger seat. “Calm down,” I laughed.

“I’m sorry! I’m just so excited!” he tapped his fingers on the dashboard while his knees bounced up and down. I laughed and shook my head, driving to my favorite music store.

“I haven’t been here in a while,” I whispered to myself, parking the car. I haven’t been here since before Mike “died”. “This used to be my favorite place,” I smiled softly.

“Used to be?”

I sat on the stool, holding the Taylor acoustic delicately in my hands.

“What do you think?” the worker, Dave—we both knew each other by name—smiled at the guitar.

“It’s beautiful,” I whispered, tracing my fingers along the neck of the wood.

“Give her a go!” he encouraged. I smiled; Dave always let me play around with the various pieces of equipment here. He knew I was always very respectful with the instruments. He was one of the only people—besides my brother—who knew I wasn’t a bad person. Everyone at school thought lowly of me, but Dave had graduated three years ago and didn’t know me in school. He wasn’t aware of the hate that he was supposed to feel for me.

I settled the guitar against me carefully, tentatively brushing my thumb across the strings. I bit my lips and placed my other hand against the frets, almost afraid to start. This guitar was very intimidating. I didn’t feel very worthy to play it.

I looked up at Dave, seeing him still smiling encouragingly at me. I sighed and started to strum the guitar and plucking at the strings every so often, as my other hand danced up and down the neck. After a few minutes, I eased to a stop and looked up. Dave’s smile had impossibly grown even bigger—he was a very enthusiastic guy.

“So?” he urged.

“It’s amazing,” I approved. I handed back the guitar reluctantly. “Really crisp sound. I like it a lot,” I nodded.

“It sounded great,” Dave said. “You should get it! And I’m not just saying that to get your business,” he laughed. I smiled and shook my head.

“Too expensive. I don’t know why I even come here. It’s all such a tease,” I said honestly.

Dave gasped in exaggerated offence. “You keep me sane, Fuentes! Don’t say that!”

I smiled and shook my head again. “I love coming here, dude. My parents will kill me if I buy anything, though. Sorry, man,” I said. I knew Dave didn’t really care if I actually bought anything big though. We genuinely enjoyed each other’s company, hanging out and occasionally jamming together.

I usually came here just for small things—guitar strings, picks, and other accessories for my old, ratty, yet still great guitar I have at home. Although it would be nice to get something new, I was fine with what I had for the time being. They all had the same purpose, anyway—a distraction, something to make me feel a little better.

Dave just nodded in understanding and ran his tattooed fingers through his dark, wavy hair. “That sucks. It really suits you,” he nodded to the guitar. I gazed at it longingly, but, breaking myself out of my spell, I shook my head again.

“One day,” I smiled positively.

“That’s the spirit,” Dave patted my shoulder. I chuckled and stood up.

“I should probably get going,” I checked the time on my watch, seeing that it was pushing seven o’clock. Mom and dad would be angry if I missed dinner again. “I might start saving up for something nice, though,” I smiled, gazing back at the guitar.

“Good idea,” Dave nodded. I shook his hand and turned to leave the store, waving when he called out to me again. “Don’t be a stranger, Vic!”

“Yeah,” I replied to Mike after zoning out. “I haven’t been here in way too long.”

“I wonder if Dave still works here,” I thought out loud. I suddenly felt bad. I used to come in here at least once a week—we sort of had a routine, and I always forgot everything bad when I came here—but then I suddenly stopped once Mike fell and, of course, once my parents forced me away to a mental institution. I frowned, wondering why I haven’t come back here in so long. I was actually shocked at myself for not racing here the minute I came back to San Diego. Everything has been so hectic since being released from the hospital, though, but still. It would have been nice of me to check in.

“Who’s Dave?” Mike asked.

“I used to come in here a lot. This guy always worked consistently here, and we became good friends. I sort of…” I scratched the back of my neck, angry with myself. “…I sort of forgot about him,” I regretted.

“Aw, well, you have had a lot going—”

“Don’t,” I snapped quickly before he could finish.

“Right,” Mike stammered. “Sorry,” he said in a short breath. I sighed and apologized to him. “It’s okay, dude. Honestly. Let’s go inside, yeah?” he smiled. I smiled back and nodded.

“Oh my God,” I heard someone say. I turned to see Dave, staring at me incredulously as he walked around from behind the counter. “Holy shit, it’s really you,” he said, squinting his eyes at me. “Fuck,” he muttered, slumping back and crossing his arms over his chest. “You look good, buddy.” He looked conflicted.

I smiled weakly. “So do you,” I said. “It’s been so long, shit,” I shook my head.

“Yeah, really…” his voice trailed off. “It’s been a year since you’ve been in here,” he concluded. I nodded.

“I, uh, had to go a way for a while,” I gulped. “And then when I came back… a lot has been going on…” I hated saying that—especially since I just snapped at my brother for saying the exact same thing—but I had to face it: it was true. Coming here completely slipped my mind with everything else so prevalent in my battered head. I felt insanely guilty.

“Yeah, I, uh, heard about some of that,” he said quietly. “But you’re okay, now?” he asked. I wondered what he heard, but I let it pass.

“Yeah,” I gulped.

“I’m glad. So are you here to finally buy that guitar?” his eyes brightened and I chuckled.

“Actually, no. I wanted to look into a drum kit for my brother here,” I said, turning to Mike. I frowned, seeing that he wasn’t behind me like before. “Aha,” I laughed. “He’s already looking into some,” I nodded over to the drum section of the store, seeing Mike investigating all the different display pieces. Dave chuckled.

“Of course,” he said. We started walking over to him, but Dave grabbed my arm. “Hey, listen… I’m glad things are better now. I hope to see you more often. I really missed you, man,” Dave said. I smiled weakly and couldn’t stop myself as I brought him in for a hug. I didn’t reciprocate the words because they weren’t honest—I haven’t even thought of him, which sickened me to my core. I felt like a horrible, selfish person.

“I’m really sorry,” I said honestly. I really was sorry. I couldn’t imagine how confused he must have been when I just never came back.

“It’s alright, dude. I’m just surprised and really happy to see you! I’ve been waiting to see you walk through those shitty doors for a while. Better late than never,” he said, patting my shoulder. I smiled softly at him and we walked to where Mike was.

“I don’t even know where to start,” he sighed, gazing at all of the pieces of equipment. Dave chuckled and jogged up next to Mike.

“Well, what kind of drummer are you? That’s a good place to start. Beginner, intermediate…”

“Uh,” Mike scratched his head. “I don’t know.”

“Well have you ever played before?”

“Apparently,” Mike said. I laughed and walked up to them.

“He has played before. He used to be really good. He doesn’t remember because he was in an accident, but I think he can start with a kit a little better than a beginner one,” I explained. Dave nodded, understanding.

“Ah, I see. Alright, well this one is really great for intermediate level players…” he said, guiding Mike to a silver set. I stayed behind, letting Dave do his job with Mike. I didn’t care which one Mike got—as long as he was happy. I knew drum kits were slightly expensive, but I didn't mind. He was my brother, after all. I was definitely going to buy it for him, no matter how much he objects.

I wandered off to the guitar section, for old time’s sake. I smiled as I heard Mike starting to play the drums. He sounded just like he used to.

I picked up a guitar and sat down on a bench. I strummed the guitar carefully, smiling as the strings created such a wonderful sound. It was so much better than my guitar at home. I closed my eyes as I played.

“It’s getting dark, we should go back. But what’s the use if what you love is what you have?” I started to sing words I’ve never sung before. I kept my voice soft and unstrained so no one would hear—an action I seemed to always be doing. “And I could die… right… now… for something beautiful to take me somewhere else…” I stopped playing for a second, sitting back and thinking about what I was singing. I wish I had my note book so I could write down the lyrics, but I knew if they actually meant something to me I would remember them again later. “Oh, I try to calm down, as I drag myself along these severed hands… severed hands are doing the very best they can…”

I stopped playing and sniffed a little, realizing that tears were forming in my eyes. I didn’t know why, though. I wiped away some moisture from my cheek. “I’m gonna buy a cheap bouquet, before it dies on the display… gonna break down the better side of me… better side of me… well I know, I know… oh, oh… if I die young… then we can wake up screaming in your bed, and our lungs are begging us to calm… down… And I scared myself with all that talk of severing, doing the best or so it seems!” I growled at the last three words, my voice gradually growing louder and more confident, even though I didn’t really want it to. I was too lost in my own head, though, to really care or stop myself.

“You’ve been mistaken! Your finger’s on the scale!” I slapped the base of the guitar in between my strums, really getting into the song, almost forgetting where I was. “Burn like you never have before! Stop, drop, and roll don’t work in hell! So what… if I… forget regret, so what if I… so what if I forget regret?” my voice had escalated, but then I brought it down to a whisper as I slowed my guitar playing, as well. “So what if I… so what if I… so what if I… so what if I… I want you to know that I… that I’ve wrote this line… a thousand times! Yeah, forget regret…” I closed my eyes. “This must be the way it ends…

“Calm down, as I drag myself along these severed hands… are doing the very best the can! As I drive my car into the sea, I taste you like a hammer through my teeth! Will someone tell me what it means to be alive? It feels just like the feeling when you die!” I wanted to scream the last lines, but I slowly brought myself back into reality. I whispered them, instead. “Oh, all right, I’m dead and I don’t care if it’s cold outside anymore… so come on… let’s have some fucking fun!”

I sighed and put down the guitar seconds after I ended the song. I looked up, seeing both Dave and Mike staring at me. Luckily no one else had been in the store.

“Er, sorry,” I mumbled, putting the guitar back in its place.

“You were in your own little world there, Vic. That was fucking incredible!” Dave said. “That’s true musician shit right there!” he exclaimed excitedly. Mike stared at me, not saying anything, his eyes searching through mine. I gulped and smiled weakly.

“Er, thanks,” I mumbled again. “Did you find something you liked, Mikey?” I asked, standing up and quickly changing the conversation.

“I mean, yeah, but I don’t have the money for that right now. It was really awesome to play, though!” he said. I was surprised to find that Mike’s eyes held no sadness at all over that fact. He truly just found joy in playing the drums, even if it was for a little while only. That made me want to get them for him even more; he was so innocent. He deserved it.

“How much, Dave?” I asked. Mike’s eyes widened and he stared at me, confused.

“You actually expected me not to buy it for you?” I asked rhetorically. I smiled softly at my brother who still looked surprised. I turned to Dave for the price.

“Vic, no, I—”

“I'm getting it for you no matter what you say, Mike,” I said. “Early birthday present, okay?”

“Er, okay…”

“It’s seven hundred. But just for you, Fuentes, I’ll give you my twenty-five-percent employee discount,” Dave grinned. I smiled; that wasn’t nearly as bad as I expected. Not that it mattered, though.

Mike coughed, and I patted his back. “It’s fine, seriously. You can’t ever stop playing the drums, Mike,” I said gently. He smiled at me, his eyes thankful. There was also something behind them that I didn’t quite understand, but I brushed it off.

“Okay, so your official total is five-twenty-five,” Dave rang us up.

“Awesome,” I grinned, handing him my card. I had plenty of money in the bank to cover it, but I wasn't even worried.

“Oh, God, this is awesome,” I heard Mike breathe, bouncing excitedly on his toes.

“Lemme go to the back and get the pieces,” Dave said. Mike and I followed him to help take the few boxes to my car. Once we had loaded it up, I could sense Mike was dying out of anticipation. “You know how to set them up?” Dave asked.

Mike nodded, and I looked at him curiously. “I remember, Vic,” he smiled. Tears were in his eyes. I was now even happier that I had gotten them for him—they triggered his brain to remember more.

I smiled and patted his arm. “Thanks for your help, Dave,” I said.

“Anything for you. Thanks for finally bringing in good business,” he joked, lightly punching my arm. I extended my arm and shook his hand. “Don’t be a stranger, alright?” he whispered. I frowned a little and swallowed the pit in my throat.

“Right, yes. See you,” I said quietly. Mike thanked Dave for his help and after saying goodbye, we got in the car. Mike was bouncing in his seat with excitement, overflowing with joy. He wouldn’t stop thanking me, rambling on and on about how awesome they were and how excited he was to keep me up all night while he played them as loud as possible. I rolled my eyes.

“Mike you’re going to flip because I just realized that Tony’s room is sound proof in our apartment—” I stopped suddenly, pain striking through my chest. I covered my hand with my mouth.

“Vic? Buddy, what’s wrong?” I shook my head and swallowed. Bree. She knew I played music. She knew Tony played music, too. So of course she would have found an apartment with the appropriate space to play music in without getting noise complaints. A small tear rolled down my cheek. “Hey,” Mike said gently.

“It’s nothing, sorry,” I shook my head. “I just remembered something, it’s nothing, I promise,” I said, sending him a convincing smile. He nodded slowly and stared at me carefully. I focused on the road.

“That song was really amazing, Vic,” Mike whispered. I bit my lip.

“Thanks, Mike. I don’t know where it came from,” I admitted.

“I do,” I thought I heard him whisper.

“What do you mean?”

“It came from your heart, Vic. That’s the… that’s the best kind of music,” Mike said quietly, although he sounded sad. “Powerful,” he added. I nodded slowly.

“Do we need to talk about something?” Mike asked, his voice a little wary. I wondered why.

I shook my head, avoiding his eye contact and focusing on the road. “Nope,” I said, popping the “p”.

Mike sighed lightly and the rest of the ride was quiet. It wasn’t a tense quiet. It was comfortable. Enjoying the simple company of my brother, just like things should be.

“Hey, I’m going to pick Lissy up from school,” I said when we got to the apartment. I helped him carry the boxes up the stairs and set them down inside.

“Wait, can I talk to you about something?” Mike asked slowly.

“Sure.”

“…Vic… uh… you’re not… I mean I don’t think you are… but—”

“Mike,” I said impatiently.

“You’re not still suicidal, right?” he asked. I sighed roughly.

“No!” I said a little too quickly. “Can’t you all just leave me alone about that? It was an accident!”

“I know,” he rushed. “I just… I don’t know Vic. I get that vibe,” he said carefully.

I growled at him. “It really frustrates the shit out of me that everyone keeps bugging me about things like that. I’m not the only one who has problems. But I’m over everything. I’m fine,” I snapped.

“Okay, okay,” Mike said warily. “Sorry I asked.”

“You should be,” I mumbled. “I really should go get Alyssa now. I don’t want to be late,” I said quietly.

“Okay, Vic,” Mike nodded. I smiled weakly and turned to the door. “Hey Vic?”

“Yeah?” I turned back around, raising an eyebrow at him.

“I love you, okay? If you tell me that there’s nothing to worry about, then I won’t worry anymore. I just care about you a lot.”

“There’s nothing to worry about,” I assured quietly. “Thank you Mike. I’m sorry I snapped… it’s just…” I shook my head. “Thank you. I love you too,” I said. Mike smiled weakly and I waved a little before turning away again.

It was about three-ten when I arrived to Alyssa’s school. She was waiting patiently in the front, sitting on a bench and listening to music. She had papers in her hand and was reading them over. I drove up next to her and rolled the window down.

“Hey, cutie! C’mere, I have puppies and candy!” I called out to her wickedly.

Her head shot up at my voice, and she smiled at me widely. “Hi Vic!” she said with excitement in her voice. “You’re creepy,” she laughed, referring to my previous words, as she climbed into the car. She threw herself across the console and hugged me tightly, her arms wrapped around my neck.

“Hi, baby,” I said quietly, kissing her softly when she pulled away a little.

“Hey,” she replied breathlessly, sitting back and putting her seatbelt back on.

“What do you got there?” I asked as I drove away, gesturing to the papers in her lap.

“Oh, nothing!” she said.

“That really looks like nothing,” I laughed.

“They’re just forms.”

“Oh, do you have a field trip or something?” I asked.

“No,” she said.

“Oh, what’s it for then?” I asked. Before she answered, I spoke again. “Yours or mine?” I asked.

“Mine, please,” she said, and I nodded, taking the appropriate route to her house.

“So,” I continued.

“Oh, uh, they’re permission slips for prom,” she said.

“Oh my god, Prom!” I squealed like a girl.

Alyssa snorted. “Oh my lord, Vic,” she breathed, shaking her head. She grabbed my right hand from the wheel and held it in her own. “Hey…” she said, brushing her thumb across the back of my hand.

“What?”

“Your hand is shaking. What’s wrong, Vic? Did something happen?”

“Oh, it is?” I didn’t even notice. I bit my lip. “I’m probably hungry or something. I didn’t really eat today,” I realized.

“Oh, you know you can’t do that with your meds, Vic. You need to eat,” she scolded gently.

I rolled my eyes and pulled my hand away from hers, putting it back around the wheel as I drove. “I fucking know,” I growled lowly. “Stop treating me like I’m fucking two,” I sighed roughly.

Alyssa didn’t say anything, and I immediately felt bad for snapping at her. First Mike, now her…

I glanced at her and saw her sitting stiff in her seat, her eyes wide but facing directly straight, her hands neatly folded in her lap.

“Shit, I’m sorry Lissy,” I sighed.

“It’s fine,” she answered curtly.

I frowned but focused on the road. When we got to her house, I parked and turned the car off. I unbuckled and sat back in the seat, turning my head to look at her. She was still in that same position. “I’m sorry for snapping, Lis,” I whispered. “I’m really high-strung right now for some reason,” I admitted. Alyssa sighed, and then she turned to me.

“So you can say it but we can’t?”

“What do you mean?”

“All you say is how much you hate us asking how you are, when we’re just trying to look out for you!” she raised her voice.

“It’s getting old,” I said, my tone a normal volume.

“Want to know what’s getting old?”

“What?” I sighed, gritting my teeth.

“This. Why can’t you just accept that you’re sick and need help?” she yelled. My eyes widened. “You’re always tired of people babying you, but we only do because we care about you a lot! But if you insist, I won’t do that anymore, okay? I’ll just… I’ll just fucking ignore your lost eyes and not check up on you even though it hurts to see you like this! I just want you to be okay… But don’t be a goddamned hypocrite and moan about how high-strung you feel when the people who love you aren’t allowed to do anything about it!”

I bit my lip and sat back again, furrowing my eyebrows. She was right. I was always annoyed when they were just trying to help me. Yet here I was admitting that I was feeling on edge even though every time they tried to point that out and try to help me relax I just got angry. I was being selfish and self-centered. It wasn’t fair to them.

“I’m sorry,” I said, really meaning it this time.

“I know you are,” she said gently. “But don’t fucking rip your hand out of mine,” she whispered. I knew she meant something a lot more than what I had done a few minutes ago—it was deeper than just returning my hand to the wheel out of annoyance. I nodded and closed my eyes.

“Come inside with me, please?” she asked. I opened my eyes and stared into hers. They were glossed over with moisture. I reached out and placed a hand on her cheek, brushing my thumb under her eyes.

“Okay,” I murmured. She tilted her head into my hand and kissed my palm. Then, she unbuckled and we got out of the car together.

“My mom is working late tonight,” she said as she set the papers and her bag on the table.

“Oh, okay,” I said. Alyssa looked at me and scrunched her mouth up.

“Here,” she said, handing me a granola bar. “Want a peanut butter and jelly or something?” she asked. I shook my head. “Too bad,” she said, and I laughed lightly as she got out peanut butter, jelly, and a loaf of bread.

I snaked an arm around her waist and kissed the side of her head. “I can do it,” I said.

“Shut up and let me help you,” she said, a hint of annoyance in her tone. I nodded and pulled away, standing a little to the side. I looked at the table, seeing her prom forms. I noticed that she had two, and one of them was for a prom date that didn’t go to the school that was hosting the prom. I smiled.

Alyssa made two—one for me and one for her. She wrapped them in paper towels and walked past me towards the stairs. I followed her up to her room, and we sat together on her bed.

“Thanks princess,” I smiled when she handed me mine. She sat in between my legs, her back on my chest, as she unwrapped her own.

“You’ve never called me princess before,” she noted.

“I know. I don’t know why I haven’t, though. You are a princess,” I kissed the top of her head.

“You’re so corny,” she giggled. She licked her thumb a little when she finished her sandwich. I tossed my paper towel to the side after finishing mine, as well.

“Thanks for the sandwich,” I whispered in her ear.

“Anything for you,” she chimed. “Honestly,” she added seriously. She turned around in my lap and kissed my lips.

“Hey,” I said softly. She looked up at me. “Can you be my princess?” I asked with a sly smile.

She laughed. “What do you mean?”

“Prom. I saw your papers, Lissy. Do you want to go to your prom?” I asked.

“Oh,” she blushed. “No, I don’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because. I mean, I’d rather just stay home and be with you,” she said.

I frowned. “Alyssa—”

“Don’t even say it, Vic,” she glared. I sighed and nodded. “I have a few friends who are going, but I’ve never actually seen myself going to prom,” she said.

“I think it’d be fun for you to go! I’ve heard that the end of senior year is great,” I said, frowning because I never did make it to the end of my senior year.

“Yeah, because people start realizing that we are all going separate ways and decide that it’s worth being nice to everyone at this point,” she scoffed.

“It’s true.”

“Yeah, but I’d rather just hang with you!”

“We’ve never really been on an official date, remember? What if I… what if I took you to your prom?” I asked. She smiled and looked down.

“And be with a bunch of high school kids that you don’t know? I don’t think so,” she shook her head.

“I don’t care about them! I’ll only be looking at you, anyway,” I said.

“You’re so cheesy,” she said. “But… maybe, okay?”

“Alright,” I chuckled. Alyssa groaned and fell backwards on the bed.

“I have a calculus exam tomorrow,” she covered her face with her hands. I crawled over to her and took her hands in mine. I kissed her nose.

“Calculus is my forte, remember?”

“You’ll help me study?” she asked hopefully.

“I have nothing else better to do,” I shrugged my shoulders.

“I beg to differ,” I thought I heard her mumble. Her face was in a smirk so I guess I was meant to hear that.

“Study first,” I leaned down and kissed her lips passionately. She raised her arms to tangle her hands in my hair and she opened her mouth a little, but I rolled away from her before things escalated. “Study,” I grinned. She groaned and rolled off of the bed, too, darting down stairs to grab her books. I followed, and when she was going through her backpack, I came up behind her. I settled my hands on her waist and pulled her into me. She had put her hair up into a bun when she got home, so I had easy access to her neck. I ducked my head and sucked on her skin, causing her to moan slightly. I chuckled against her and planted a light kiss there.

“How about that calculus?” I asked.

“Asshole,” she grumbled, and I laughed again. She grabbed her notebooks and we walked back up the stairs to her room.

She plopped down on her bed and started to review her notes, asking me questions along the way.

I texted Mike, telling him that I’d be back later. I chatted with him a little as Alyssa continued to work on practice problems. She wasn’t a very focused girl when she was studying on her own, but I always encouraged her when I was with her, so she did a lot better.

“I think I understand everything,” she said, nodding at her papers. She stacked them up neatly in front of her, putting everything away.

“You studied for an hour and a half. Good job, babe,” I approved.

She smiled. “I’m going to get an A!” she sang.

“Yay!” I grinned, crawling over to her. Her eyes glazed over a little as she stared at me, and I chuckled when she slid her previously neat stack of papers and books to the ground. She gnawed on her lip as I ran my hands up and down her side, connecting my mouth immediately to the spot on her collarbone that made her crazy.

She gripped my hair tightly and squirmed underneath me as I kissed all over her body. I slid my hands under her shirt and traced her chill bumps. I lifted her shirt up and kissed up and down her stomach. Her shirt was bunched up at the top, but I didn’t bother with it as I was too preoccupied with her skin. I heard the rustled of fabric and felt Alyssa’s body move a little. I glanced up and saw that she had taken care of the shirt, tossing it to the floor.

I glided my lips across her skin, savoring every part of her. I pressed my lips firmly to hers, and she almost immediately opened her mouth. Our tongues fought for dominance, but the battle was at a stale mate. This only caused us to get even more heated, neither of us winning but the intensity between us growing. Alyssa tugged down the sleeves of my unbuttoned flannel my shirt, and I shrugged it off and quickly discarded the black shirt I had underneath it. She traced her hands all across my chest, around to my back and up to my shoulders and neck.

I kissed her hard as she pushed me back with her hands on my chest. She snaked her arms around my neck, and I was no longer hovering over her. She was facing me in my lap, both of us sitting up, but together.

Alyssa let out an impatient moan against my mouth as she started to fumble with my belt.

But then I heard her door swing open and she gasped, colliding into me and burying her face into my shoulder. I furrowed my eyebrows and wrapped my arms around her, turning my head to see who was at the door.

“Ever heard of a lock?” Tony groaned, face-palming. I chuckled as Alyssa mumbled into my bare skin.

“My brother just walked in with us half-naked and my hands down your pants. Can I die now?”

“Hi Tony,” I laughed.

Tony kept his hands over his face as he talked. “Hi. I just came over to check on you, Lis, because you weren’t at the apartment so I figured you were here but mom isn’t home and I wanted to make sure you were alright.”

“Obviously I’m fine,” she groaned into my skin. I rubbed her back for moral support; she was so embarrassed.

“Yeah… I didn’t really connect the fact that Vic would be here, too,” Tony rambled on. “Okay I’m going to go now. I’ll see you guys later,” Tony said. I chuckled and shook my head.

“Ugh, is he gone?”

“Yes, sweetie,” I kissed the side of her head.

“Fucking cock-block of a brother!” she exclaimed. She peeled herself away from me and scooped her shirt off of the ground. I pouted.

“I’m sorry,” she cooed. “I’m traumatized, now! I can’t have sex like this!”

I laughed. “I think he’s a little more traumatized than you are,” I noted. “Come on, love, we’re going back to my place,” I said, hopping off the bed, re-buckling my belt and slipping on my shirt. “I didn’t even realize you had knocked this off,” I laughed, picking up my hat from the floor after I slid on my flannel.

“Aw, shit,” Alyssa said.

“What is it?”

“Er, uh… are you, uh, okay, down there?” she asked, biting her lip. “’Cause I know guys have a harder time, y’know, getting over it without—” I cut her off by kissing her lips.

“I’m completely fine, thank you,” I smiled, brushing my thumb across her cheek. She blushed and looked down. “Ready to go?”

“Yeah. Why are we going there?”

“Mike made dinner for all of us—you, me, Tony, Drew, Jaime. He used to be a good cook… let’s hope he still is!”

“Ah, okay,” she said, taking my hand.

Together, we made our way to the apartment. “What’s the rush, babe?” she asked as I nearly dragged her upstairs.

“Oh, nothing,” I said, a little flustered. She stared at me curiously for a moment before I opened the door to the apartment. Her eyes went wide and I grinned. As she stared at the decorations Mike had so kindly agreed to get, I kissed her cheek lovingly.

“So?” I murmured against her skin. She broke out into a huge smile as she stared at the word “Prom?” on a banner hanging over the living room. Around it were flowers and balloons—I owed Mike a lot. Then again, I just bought him a drum kit. That was probably why he agreed so easily. Mike snuck to my side and slipped me a single rose to give her—Alyssa didn’t notice. My lips still at her cheek, I put the flower into view. She gazed down at it in awe.

“Yes, Vic!” she cheered excitedly. I chuckled because I didn’t expect her to get so excited over it—I knew I was being very romantic though, and girls got excited over that. “Thank you,” she whispered in my ear after throwing her arms around my neck. I smiled and closed my eyes, pressing my face into the soft skin of her neck. This was exactly how I wanted her: happy.

Notes

Ah, one more chapter guys! :)
This one’s jam packed and I actually really like it. I have a lot prewritten, so I’ll probably be updating soon! :) but also :(

I just wanted to say a quick thank you and stuff. All of your comments are so lovely and make me so happy, it's unbelievable. You guys are fantastic! And if you ever need to talk about anything, please please please message me, okay? Even though I don't personally know you guys I really do care about you all! Especially those who have said they empathize with some of the characters in this, if you need to talk, I’m here. Love you all tons <3