“Are you sure about this, Vic?” Mrs. Perry asked. I nodded.

“Yes, if that’s okay,” I said.

“Of course it’s okay, dear. I just want to make sure you are okay,” she said. I smiled thankfully.

“Thank you, Mrs. Perry. It means a lot. I just need to get this over with,” I said, nodding along as if I still needed to convince myself that this was the right thing to do.

“I understand,” she said. She pulled me into a loving hug, squeezing my gently. “Just be careful boys, okay?”

“Of course,” Tony said.

“See you later. Tony, your sister will be home later, too, make sure you aren’t out all day,” she said.

“This won’t take very long,” Tony said, and Mrs. Perry nodded. She was easily letting us go—both Tony and I were nineteen years old, so Mrs. Perry gave us a lot of freedom. I wasn’t going to abuse it, but we were technically adults. I would never defy her, though, and I didn’t think Tony would, either. We both needed her in our lives right now, no matter how old we were.

“Ready?” Tony looked at me, and I nodded.

“Bye, Mrs. Perry,” I waved politely, and Tony gave his mom a quick kiss on her cheek before we got in his car together. The drive to my house was only a short ten minutes drive, and my nerves were electrifying.

“You okay?” he asked. I nodded.

“Yeah,” I said. “I’ll be okay,” I said. “I wonder if they are even going to be home,” I said.

“Yeah, I wonder,” Tony said quietly.

“I guess I’ll find out,” I breathed shakily when Tony parked on the curb outside of my house. “What an ugly fucking house,” I muttered. Tony smiled weakly.

“Should I go in with you?” he asked, taking the keys out of the ignition.

I bit my lip. “Um,” I thought for a second. “Maybe I’ll go in alone, first. I’ll text you if I need you,” I said. “I’ll be fast; I’m just going to grab some of my things and the last of the blades,” I said, determined.

“Okay,” Tony said.

“Alright,” I sighed, unbuckling and getting out of the car. I jogged up to the front of the house—should I knock? Or should I just walk in? I tested the handle, finding that the door was unlocked. I figured that my parents wouldn’t open the door for me, so I let myself in.

The house was quiet, still. I couldn’t find my voice to call out to the house, so I simply darted up to my room, focusing on the mission at hand. I walked straight into my old room, not daring to look across the hall at Mike’s room.

“Fantastic,” I muttered, seeing that they had boxed up my room. I rolled my eyes and tossed the duffle bag I brought onto my bed. I rummaged through the boxes and found a few of my favorite shirts and pants, stuffing them into the bag, along with other essentials, like boxers and shoes and socks. The bag basically full and all of the clothes and other stuff—like my iPod, cell phone, and headphones—I wanted packed away, I sighed in satisfaction. I swung it over my shoulder and headed to my bathroom where I knew all of my blades were hidden.

I opened a cabinet and took out the small pencil case that was hidden in the back. It was full of sharp objects, and I didn’t dare open it, afraid that if I did so, all of my demons would escape from it and haunt my insides again.

I didn’t linger in my room at all. Almost as quickly as I came, I walked out of the room. I glanced at Mike’s room one time, my heart wrenching a little for my passed brother. I smiled weakly at his door, hoping that he was at peace somewhere, hoping that he was okay that I was on my way to peace.

“How are you holding up?” I halted at the top of the steps, hearing voices down stairs after hearing our sliding back door open and close.

“We are getting better,” I gritted my teeth at the sound of my father.

“It’s still so hard,” I heard my mother. I wondered what they were talking about.

“Did they ever find his body?” the voice I didn’t recognized asked in a hushed tone.

“No,” my father answered harshly.

“I’m so sorry for your losses,” the woman said.

“Thank you, that means a lot,” my mother cried. A low growl escaped my mouth when I realized that those weren’t real cries. They were forced, not genuine.

“We are still healing,” my father sighed dramatically.

“I can’t imagine. Losing both of your sons within a month of each other…” the woman sighed.

“They say time heals, but it’s been over sixth months and it still hurts,” my mom cried.

I gritted my teeth as realization hit me.

They were telling people that I was dead.

I laughed out loud, and I heard them gasp. I smiled, knowing I could have fun with this.

“Thanks for the consideration, mom, dad,” I waved at them, revealing myself. They stared at me with wide eyes, and the woman I didn’t know looked at me like she was seeing a ghost—well, in her eyes, she thought I was dead. So she literally thought that she was seeing a ghost.

“Hey!” I laughed. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” I joked. My parents blubbered incoherently, and the woman shook in terror.

“You can relax, sorry for scaring you,” I rolled my eyes. Then, I looked at the woman. “I’m not really dead. Apparently it’s a bad thing to have a kid in a mental hospital, so they told everyone I was dead,” I said. “Thanks, guys,” I glared at my parents, who stared at me with ice in their eyes.

“Sorry to ruin your perfect charade. I was just stopping by to get my stuff. I am doing really good, in case you were wondering,” I said.

“Don’t worry, you won’t be seeing me again. I have other, better living arrangements. Thanks for nothing, assholes,” I spat.

I angrily headed to the door, my body shaking in rage at what they did.

“Oh, one more thing,” I stopped, turning around. “Fuck you,” I spat, flipping them both off. Then, I turned back around and exited the house, slamming the door behind me.

I shook my head and angrily reentered Tony’s car.

“How’d it go?” he whispered, noticing my demeanor.

However, my anger suddenly slipped away, being replaced with a thick coat of sadness.

“They told everyone that I was dead,” I cried.

“What?” Tony asked.

“They were ashamed of me,” I shook my head, burying my face in my hands.

“I’m so sorry, Vic,” Tony said. I shook my head.

“Whatever,” I breathed roughly, shaking my head a final time. “I won’t get upset over them, they don’t matter,” I said.

“Did you at least get everything you needed?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I said, throwing the duffle bag into the back seat. I held onto the case of blades, though.

“Where to?” Tony asked, eying the case.

“Can you stop the car for a second?” I asked.

Tony slowed the car to a stop. “What’s up?”

“Can I drive?” I asked. “I know where I’m going,” I said lowly.

Tony nodded. “I don’t see why not,” he shrugged his shoulders. We quickly changed seats, and I restarted the car.

The truth was that I just didn’t want to talk—I didn’t want to have to give him directions. I needed to be at peace in my own mind with silence.

“Are you okay?” Tony asked after a long period of silence. I nodded, driving numbly.

“Almost there,” I said. As we got closer and closer to the destination, I began to realize something: I never did tell Tony how my brother died.

I took a deep breath, parking the car at the side of the bridge. The bridge I tried to kill myself on. The bridge Mike fell to his death on.

“What are we doing here?” Tony asked.

“It's a good place to get rid of them,” I nodded to my collection of blades, along with Tony’s single one.

I got out of the car. The second I swung the door open, a rush of air swept over me. The wind tousled my hair and forced its way into my lungs.

“I thought we were going to see your brother?” Tony asked curiously.

“We are,” I whispered. I walked up to the railing of the bridge, my brain clouding with memories. I fought back all of them, trying my hardest to stay conscious of the reality around me. I fought back the images of my hat floating down, of me falling, of Mike falling. I refused to let them be prevalent in my mind. Instead, I silently stared down at the water, which, ironically, was relatively calm.

“Our bad habits are going to die here,” I declared. “Just like Mikey,” I added with a whisper.

“He died here?” Tony’s eyes widened. I nodded.

“Right there,” I pointed at the spot on the railing where he had slipped and fallen to his death.

“Vic…” Tony said my name warily, and it was then when I noticed that I had been staring longingly at that spot for a while, a crazed expression inhabiting my features.

“It was an accident,” I sighed, nodding. “Yeah, an accident,” I repeated. The words sounded right as I came to the realization that Mike’s death wasn’t truly my fault. It wasn’t his fault, either.

It was gravity’s fault.

“I’m sorry, Vic. Are you okay? Is it okay to be here?” Tony asked nervously. I nodded; this was going a lot better than I had thought it would go, actually. I smiled, like I could feel Mike patting my on my shoulder as a gust of air blew by.

I couldn’t see him, though, but that was better. It was normal to sense him, but I wasn’t seeing him. I wasn’t reliving the experience, I wasn’t falling down to hell, I wasn’t losing my mind. I was calm. I was even happy.

Tony took his blade out, and I took out my case of them. I imagined that I would see dark, wispy skulls slithering out of the box when I opened it to dump out my demons.

But when I opened it up, I was relieved to find that I saw nothing. I only saw several pieces of dull metal, just sitting there. They weren’t animated, and they didn't speak to me. They simply existed—that was all there was to them. I smiled as I turned the box over, watching as the glittering pieces of metal fell into the water--into nonexistence--with various, tiny splashes. I barely even heard them make contact with the water, but I knew they were gone. For good. Satisfied, I tossed the box that once held my darkest enemies.

I turned to Tony just in time to see him toss his single blade over the side, too.

“Wow that felt good,” Tony mumbled, and I nodded in agreement.

“I feel all symbolic,” I laughed. Tony patted my back.

“Now what?” he asked.

“I, uh, I think I should actually visit Mike, now. I haven’t been to his grave, yet,” I whispered.

“Are you sure you’re up to it, today? You’ve done a lot today,” Tony asked.

“Maybe you’re right. I don’t want to over do it…” I considered. I didn’t want to press my luck. I didn’t know how much I would be able to handle—I was still pretty fragile, and I knew I should take it easy.

“Yeah, let’s go home, and we can come back another time, okay?” Tony suggested.

I nodded. “Okay, sure, let’s go home.”

Home.

Notes

Short and uninteresting but it needed to happen.
I hope the next ones (idk when I'll upload again though) will be more interesting.

Yay