The next morning the four of them woke around the same time and decided to go out for breakfast. It would be the first time Erica has left the apartment; she was nervous but knew she would have to face the world at some point. She had text Jane and the other artists and told them she probably wouldn’t be in work for the next 2 weeks or so. They had seen her post on instagram and understood completely.

Chad and Zeke joined the gang for breakfast. Erica was so happy to see them; they were good friends of Mike’s and were feeling the pain as well. They needed to be surrounded by Erica as much as she needed them. They had actually found out on Friday, the night of the accident, when they rang Jaime who was supposed to be hanging out with them. They decided they would give Erica some time though.

When they got to the diner the twins were already there and had a booth. Erica sat between Vic and Jaime while Tony sat on the side with the twins. They ordered their breakfasts and sat there talking about nothing in particular when a new waitress approached them.

They guessed that their other one had got off work, or had a break or something. This new waitress was no older than 17 and she had a sad look in her eyes.

“Hi guys, can I get you another coffee or anything?” She asked, a few of them nodded and she filled their cups. She went to walk away but turned around slowly

“I know you probably don’t want to hear this or anything right now but I just wanted to say I’m really sorry for your loss. Mike was the reason I started to play drums a few years ago and he’s going to be missed by so many people. I’m sorry” She smiled warmly and turned around when Erica spoke up

“Thank you, it means a lot” She gave the girl a smile and the waitress went back to working. It was hard for each of them to hear those words. They hadn’t heard them out loud. Nobody had giving the condolence speech yet, other than the doctor that broke the news. They weren’t prepared for it to hit them so hard. These next few months were going to be treacherous. Erica just hoped people wouldn’t start making her casseroles and bringing them over. She giggled a little at her own thoughts and sparked attention from the boys.

“What are you laughing at?” Chad asked

“I was just thinking that I hope people don’t make me a load of condolence casseroles and bring them over. I don’t even like casserole” This earned a laugh from everyone around the table.


Erica and Jaime were back at her apartment; Vic had gone to see his parents with Emily. Tony was going to see his fiancé. Tony hadn’t seen her since the night of the accident either. Emily had been really supportive though; she stayed strong for Vic who broke down in her arms as soon as he got home and told her what had happened. Isla had been at her dads in LA so Tony wouldn’t have seen her either way, he was glad he could see her now though. He missed her and her bump. Their baby was due in 2 months and Tony was so excited. Jaime had been giving Tony some dad to dad-to-be advice which was always fun to listen in on. Jaime was an amazing dad and his kids adored him. Jacob was now 5 and Amanda was 4 and they were beautiful children, so beautiful. They were smart too; they picked things up really quickly. Erica loved having them around; even though she never wanted children herself she loved spending time with them, especially when they were as adorable as these two.

When Erica got in she decided she should Skype her father, who apparently had the same idea because as soon as Erica signed in her father was calling almost immediately. Jaime was taking a shower at this point so it was just Erica and her father, as soon as she saw him she burst into tears.

“Erica baby” Her father said in a worried tone. He didn’t have things like instagram and Facebook so wouldn’t have seen either post about Mike. Trent was away with his girlfriend in Japan so he either didn’t know yet or hasn’t been able to contact anyone.

“He’s gone daddy. Mike’s gone” She wiped away her tears as her father continued to look worried

“What do you mean gone? Did you guys break up?” Erica sobbed harder at that, she would have to tell him, in words, what happened and she couldn’t bring herself to.

“No daddy, he’s gone like Caleb gone” She stared at her screen and Huw now had tears of his own streaming down his face

“Oh Erica, baby I’m so sorry. I’m going to come out and see you okay? As soon as I can get a plane out, I’m coming” He assured her and gave a smile that held as much love and hope as he could fit into it.

“Okay, I miss him. I just want him to come home already” Jaime had come out of the bathroom, freshly washed and clothed and wrapped himself around Erica. He gave a smile to Huw through the screen as he tried to comfort his best friend as much as he could.

“Erica, I’m going to book a ticket now okay? I’ll be out in a few days. You don’t look like you want to talk to so I’ll leave you guys to it. I love you sugar plum” She waved at her father and closed her laptop. She was glad he would be coming to see her, she needed him there.

“Come on now. What happened to being a big pansy?” Jaime joked, hoping it would lighten the mood. Erica let out a soft chuckle and the pair decided they would go to the beach for the day, they made a little picnic and went on their way.

“Thank you Jaime, if I didn’t have you I would have probably crashed my car into a wall on purpose so I could be with him. You haven’t skipped on the best friend duties and it means a lot” Erica smiled at Jaime as she took a bite from her sandwich.

“Neither have you. We all need each other right now and none of us are going anywhere. We’ve got to look out for each other now and that’s what we’re going to do. We’re family, we stick together” Jaime consoled and placed his arm around Erica’s shoulder as they finished their food and watched the people on the beach.

Erica found herself watching Jaime more than the other beach goers. She watched as his facial expression would change quite a bit. She read anger, love, sadness, loneliness, hurt; a whole array of emotions was going through that man’s head.

“You miss her don’t you?” Jaime nodded; he knew Erica was talking about Jess. Jess and Erica were still in touch, barely though. Jess didn’t want to leave, she didn’t want to leave Jaime or her children or her friends but she couldn’t cope with it all. It got too much and she needed out.

“Yeah, of course I do. We were meant to be together forever. I thought we would be. I get why she left but I love her still, so much and now I’ve lost Mike too all I have are the kids. Well I have you guys but it’s not the same. I really thought she would have stayed” He wiped a tear away and managed to stop the rest from falling.

“I’m sorry, I miss her too. Obviously in a different way but I still do. She still loves you though and maybe one day she’ll be able to manage everything and come back to you” Erica said hopeful.

“I hope you’re right because I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to find someone else” Erica knew what he meant right there. She couldn’t imagine ever being in another relationship, Mike was her first and he was meant to be her last.

“I know how you feel” She said and nudged him in the side a little.

They spent another couple of hours on the beach, trying to take their mind off the negative things that were surrounding them. When they got home they ordered take out and Jaime stayed the night again. Erica liked having someone in the apartment; it was too weird being alone. She has spent nights, weeks and months alone in that place but this was a different loneliness. One she couldn’t escape and she needed the presence of someone to help her with it.

“Vic rang and said that you guys have to do some stuff for the funeral. I always thought they waited longer to bring that up but I guess not. I know you don’t want to but like I said earlier, we’ll all be here okay?” Jaime told her.

“Well we’d have to do it sooner or later right?” She chuckled and kissed his cheek before going to the bathroom to brush her teeth then went and got into bed.

-2 weeks later-

“Jaime, I don’t think I can do this. I don’t want to have all their eyes on me, pitying me. I can’t go” Erica said as she took off the shoes that she had not long been wearing.

“Erica, none of us want to go but you have to do it. You have to say goodbye” Jaime replied

“I said goodbye at the hospital and that was hard enough, I’m only going to breakdown and then people will keep telling me how sorry they are and I don’t want that” Vic had walked into the lounge, they were all at his house.

“Erica, it’s going to be hard for all of us okay sweetie? We’re all going to be there, I’m going to be by your side the whole time just remember that” He looked into her eyes and she picked her shoes up, putting them back on.

Erica couldn’t help but feel selfish, Mike was a massive part of Vic, Tony and Jaime’s lives as well but she was the weak one. They had been comforting her more than anything. She tried to be strong and let them cry on her shoulder but they wouldn’t have it. She felt guilty and they wouldn’t have that either. Vic had constantly told her to stop worrying and that things will be okay in the end, she believed him but right now it was difficult; so damn difficult.

“I know you guys are hurting too and I’m sorry I’ve been too weak. You’ve been so strong for my sake and it’s not fair on you, you need to release everything too and I’m sorry I’m keeping you from doing that” She gave an apologetic look and walked to the door about to get in the car that was waiting for them

“Erica, I’ve told you before that that is not the case. We’re not as strong as you think. Ask Emily, I bet she probably thinks she married a fourteen year old girl with the amount of crying I’ve done.” Vic solaced her which brought a smile to her face; Erica thought Vic sometimes looked like a girl.

“Thank you” She got in the car and the boys followed her.

The funeral service was short. Erica didn’t want an open casket funeral because she knew how painful that would be for her, Vic felt the same way. Erica and Vic did the speech but cut it short after they both turned into emotional wrecks. Erica was right about the looks of pity that she would receive; she got them from everyone in attendance. She got the sympathy speeches from people too. She just wanted to scream at everyone and tell them to talk to her like normal but she couldn’t do that.

Her family, Trent Huw and Aubrey, were there. Her father had been there since 2 days after their Skype call. He couldn’t leave his baby girl when she was in her most fragile state. Erica was glad they were there, them and the boys kept her sane. Like she told Jaime at the beach, she doesn’t know what she would do without them all.

They were all back at Vic and Emily’s for the wake and it basically turned into a party; plenty of booze, food on the grill and good laughs. Erica was finally happy with the guests, they were being normal or as about as normal as you could get at a wake. They made sure it was a celebration of life, Mike’s life. They all shared stories of him. Just like Erica, Vic and the rest of the gang did a few weeks ago.

Erica loved hearing the memories that people shared with her. Some of them she had heard many times but she would never tire of them. Arielle and Jonathan had both passed away a few years prior to this so they weren’t in attendance so whenever they were mentioned, especially in a story with Mike, her heart would feel like it had just been stabbed. She made it through the day though, they all did.

Erica hasn’t got a tour until March but she feels bad. Bad that she gets to go on tour again while Vic, Jaime and Tony don’t. They probably don’t even want to look at their instruments right now. Erica felt bad for them, like it’s her fault somehow. She has work booked at the shop for the next couple of months but not even that is going to be the same.

Most people had left and it was only Mike’s parents, Vic, Jaime, Emily, Tony and Isla, Trent, Huw and Aubrey and Erica. They were in the backyard and were about to take a shot
“For Mike” his father toasted and the clan raised their shot gloss before necking the burning liquid.

“You did good today Erica” Vivian said in a whisper. She was doing as well as Erica was these last couple of weeks, but like Erica had the remaining musicians, Vivian had her husband.

“Thank you, I think we all did well to be honest” She smiled around at everyone and they nodded in agreement. They spent a little while longer outside, watching the sky; there was a meteor shower that night and they all enjoyed it.

Erica liked to tell herself that it was Mike and Caleb chasing each other around heaven’s playground.

Since Vic was still living in the house that he once shared with Mike, Erica stayed in his old room. It had never been redecorated or anything. It was pretty much the same as it was when Erica stayed there on her first night in San Diego. She replayed that night in her head a few times when she pulled the covers over herself. It was the first time she surprised him; when he was wearing a beanie in ridiculous heat and she thought he was an idiot for doing so. There was nothing that could part that man from his beloved hats. She smiled at the thoughts that were filling her head.

“I think I’m going to be okay” She breathed out and looked at her phone one final time, Mike was her screensaver. She said goodnight to him and drifted into a deep sleep.

Notes

I have the next chapter already written and I can tell you that it is nowhere near as emotional as these first 3. So you can put the tissues away haha

Thank you for all the love (or hate) so far :)