“So this is my office, where I do all my editing and what not” Delphi said as she finished up giving Tegan a tour of her workplace.
“This is a pretty nice office” Tegan said surprised, she was expecting a rubbish little cubicle and a weird plant that never gets watered but still maintains its colour.
“Well I earned it” Delphi joked “What made you start to like writing?” She asked Tegan.
“I don’t know really. I actually had no care for writing until this year at school, I picked up this book on writing skills mainly to help with my essays and stuff but it made reading different for me too. Then I wrote this story for an English assignment and I really enjoyed it so yeah” Tegan rambled.
“Fair enough” Delphi responded.
Throughout the rest of the day Tegan was shown the basics at the office. How things would be written and edited, how all the pages are designed and the importance of image in a magazine. She read through a few articles of theirs before and after editing and most things in general.
After spending the day in Delphi’s office Tegan was beginning to think more about her offer of an internship but like Delphi said, she doesn’t have to make her mind up just yet. Who knows, Tegan could find something else she really wants to do and totally throw the idea of a career in writing away.
The second week of Tegan’s visit was pretty much the same thing, she travelled around the city. Some days she would go out on her own and just take loads of photos. She Skyped with Vic once or twice and visited Delphi’s office again.
Tegan was sad to be leaving New York but at the same time couldn’t wait to get home. She missed Mama and Papa Fuentes, she missed Vic, she missed her own bed and she missed San Diego.
“Call me when you land okay?” Delphi insisted.
“Of course I will” Tegan replied.
“It was nice to meet you, I hope we get to see you again soon” Marcus said, they had both gotten on really well; Tegan already knew Delphi but she had to form a new relationship with her uncle and fortunately they were as similar as Delphi said, and that caused for a decent friendship to have been created.
“It was nice to meet you too, I can’t wait to come back and visit” They shared a hug and Tegan went off to catch her plane.

~~
“You’re home” Vic exclaimed as he pulled Tegan into a rather tight hug. “It feels like it’s been two months not two weeks” He said as he parted and took Tegan’s bag from her.
“I know, I’ve missed you” She pecked him on the cheek and took his free hand, lacing her fingers in his and walked out of the airport to Vic’s car.
The ride home didn’t take too long and was filled with mindless chatter about Tegan’s trip. When they got home the smell of dinner filled the house and Tegan ran into the kitchen to greet her parent figures.
“Mama” Tegan called as she hugged Vivian and kissed her on both cheeks. She did the same to Victor and they all chuckled at how much energy Tegan had. She didn’t realise she had missed being at home this much until she was back.
“We have lasagne for dinner” Victor informed her.
“It smells delicious. I’ve missed Fuentes home cooked meals” Tegan admitted.
“We’ve missed having our little lightning bolt telling us how good our cooking is” Vivian joked as she handed Tegan a glass of orange juice.
Tegan took her bags up to her room and sighed as she walked past Mike’s room. The sound of terrible music and the smell of weed filling her senses. She shook her head and placed her suitcase on her bed. She changed into something a little more comfortable and returned to the kitchen.
When she got there the table had been set and dinner was being plated up. Mike was called and joined the family fairly quickly.
“Oh, you’re back. Great” Mike mumbled as he sat opposite Tegan at the dinner table.
“Nice to see you too” She retorted. Tegan didn’t want to bother with Mike, she was happy to be home and his little comments weren’t going to dampen her mood.

After dinner Vic and Tegan went to the beach, it was only about 8pm and the sun was still setting. They decided to find a nice quiet spot and sit down. Looking out at the horizon Tegan snuggled closer into Vic. She missed being wrapped in his arms, his scent and the way she felt in his presence.
“I love you” She whispered. Vic kissed the top of her head and whispered those three words back to her. This led to a little bit of a make out session, making up for the last two weeks.
When their lips were no longer attached Tegan bought up the Delphi’s offer.
“So Delphi said that I could intern with her at the magazine, after school, if I wanted to” She said, nervous of how Vic would take it.
“That’s awesome. Are you going to go?” He asked.
“I don’t know yet. I don’t even know if I want to get into writing, I mean it was just a thought but I have a few more months until I have to make my mind up” She said.
“Yeah that’s true. How long would it be for?” Vic asked, this was the part of the offer that made Tegan nervous.
“It would 6 months to start with but then a job or an extension could come from that. I don’t know if I could be away from home for 6 months though” She told him.
Vic sunk a little at the thought of his best friend and his girlfriend being away from him for so long. “That’s a lot of time, but it could be good for you. If you take it I mean” He tucked some hair behind her ear and looked into her eyes.
“It would be hard to be away from you for so long but then I might be on tour then so we would both be occupied with our futures” He said, he felt quite guilty saying it because it sounded as if he couldn’t wait to be apart, sort of.
“I know. But we’d have to get used to being apart from each other for months at a time, with you going on to rule the world in your band and everything” She joked, they both chuckled.
“Exactly” Vic started “We start recording next week. Then we’re doing a few shows when it’s done” He informed Tegan.
“Are you guys dropping out of school?”
“Probably but we’ve spoken to some people and we can still take our exams; there are like online schools and stuff so we can finish on the road. I don’t think we’d get a long tour straight away though, so we might be able to wait until the end of the school year. It all depends on the record and the label and stuff like that” Vic said.
“Oh, it’s crazy how fast this is all happening. I’m so happy for you” She smiled sadly.
“You should be happy for both of us. You’ve got one offer already, and you’ve been looking at colleges. With your grades getting better you could be ruling the world right alongside me.” Vic comforted.
“Maybe I could be the first female president.” Tegan joked.
The pair of them stayed at the beach until 10:30 before making their way home. They stayed in Vic’s room and it was like Tegan had never left. They go back to school in two days and then Vic and the boys start recording next week. Vic fell asleep first but Tegan just couldn’t shut her mind off.
Tegan was genuinely happy for Vic, she was but she was scared that she would lose him. She was scared that he was going to get this album done, go one tour and forget her. She knew it was unlikely but she feared. They had been through everything and she was worrying that when Vic’s life comes together and she’s still stood at the crossroads, figuring out which path to take, he’ll give up with her and focus on the band more than them.
Tegan began to well up and decided she wanted to be along right now, even though Vic was sleeping. She managed to slip out of his room without waking him and made her way up to her own room. Mike’s door opened as she passed it and she was hoping he wouldn’t say anything to her.
“Sneaking around at night makes you look super suspicious”
“Fuck off Mike” She spat back, without looking at him and entered her room.
When she was inside she sat in the middle of her bed and let the tears flow. She was still suffering with all her tangled thoughts and hoped that her sudden interest in writing would help to untangle them. But it only made things worse. Was that the path she really wanted to take? Could she really be happy with her and Vic being away from each other so much, even if she didn’t go to New York?
The tears were beginning to subside but the thoughts still had a tight grip on her mind and Tegan couldn’t take it anymore. She hopped off the bed and walked over to her wardrobe. Going into that box in the very back, hoping that she had a least a small packet of white powder in there. She wasn’t going to go back to cutting; that would be too obvious. But this… how could Vic find out about this?
When Tegan opened the box she smiled and wiped away a tear. There was a reasonable sized bag of drugs and she pulled them out. She knew she shouldn’t do it but in her mind, at that moment, it was the only thing to do.


The first school week, of the New Year, went by fast and easy. Tegan filled Amelia and Simon in on her visit to the Big Apple; including Delphi’s offer. Vic had been practising with the band a lot, in preparation for recording which gave Tegan a lot more time on her own; meaning she had slipped back into her old ways. She felt so guilty for relapsing since Vic had helped her so much but she was dependent on cocaine, again. She needed it to help with her problems, her tangled thoughts, her confusion and lack of true happiness at the minute.
Amelia and Simon threw a party that weekend and everyone attended. The party was so much fun but Tegan still wasn’t happy, not genuinely anyway. She had worn her fake smile that everyone believed so she got away with it but that hurt her a lot too. It hurt her to know that nobody could see how much pain she was in. Well Vic saw, that night after he had done a round of shots with Simon he went to find Tegan. He found her out on a bench in the backyard. She was staring out at the city, solo cup in hand, not paying attention to anything around her. That’s when Vic could see it. In that moment Tegan had let her guard down, the expressions on her face were real and Vic had seen them far too many times. If he could rub a lamp and have a genie appear, willing to grant wishes his would be to take the pain and hurt away from the people he loved. He just wants them to be happy.
“There you are” He said just above a whisper, pulling Tegan back into reality. She turned to look at him as he sat next to her on the bench. She offered him a sad smile.
“Hey” She responded, the reflection of the moonlight on Tegan’s beautiful green eyes made Vic’s heart skip a beat, she had the most amazing eyes. But it also broke his heart too because the pain was so much more evident then.
“Do you want to get out of here?” Vic asked.
“Yeah, I want to take you somewhere actually” Tegan replied.
“Where?”
“It’s a surprise” She hopped up, the smile on her face a little more genuine.
They said their goodbyes and left the party. Tegan hadn’t had that much to drink so drove. She was taking Vic to her quiet place, Vic hadn’t yet been there. Tegan thought since she knows where Vic’s is, it’s only right he knows where hers is.
“Pass me your hand” Tegan said and Vic put his right hand out. Tegan took it and pulled him up.
“This is… wow” was all Vic could get out.
“It’s great isn’t it?” Tegan asked.
“It’s amazing” He said.
Tegan had taken Vic to a jumping rock. There were tall rocks that surrounded a little lake. Opposite the one that the couple were sat on was a waterfall. Tegan comes here when she needs some time to herself, sometimes she jumps off and swims around for a bit. It was really cold tonight though so that wasn’t going to happen.
“This reminds me off that scene in the Hannah Montana movie when they go on that rope swing” Vic said.
“I know, when I found this place I thought of that actually.” They both giggled a little, more at the fact that they have watched the Hannah Montana movie several times than the fact that this place reminded them of it.
“I think it beats my quiet place” Vic said.
“They’re equally beautiful” Tegan replied softly.
They sat in silence, cuddled up next to each other, for about fifteen minutes before Vic decided to speak.
“Tegan, what’s wrong?” you could hear the concern in his voice. Tegan knew immediately what he was on about.
“Let’s just enjoy this place, don’t ruin it with that stuff” She said, hoping to avoid the topic but if she knew Vic then she knew they were going to be having this conversation right there.
“No, you’ve been sad for a few days now and I want to know what’s bothering you. Please?”
Tegan sighed, shuffled around a bit and then began, hoping that words wouldn’t fail her right now.
“It’s just… I feel the same way I did before school. But I’m scared. I’m scared that when you get big and famous you’ll forget about me. I know that’s ridiculous but I worry, even if I don’t go to New York you know? I don’t even know if I want to do this whole intern thing but I doubt I’ll figure anything else out in the next four months. In four months I’m no longer a school student and you’ll probably be on longer tours already and I’ll be sat at the apartment still trying to work out where I want to go in life and it’s so scary. Everything you’ve done lately has helped but I don’t know” She sighed once again not knowing if there was anything else she should say or if what she said even made sense.
“It’s okay to be uncertain, Tegan. But one thing I am certain about is that I will never forget you, ever. I will never leave you, I mean to go on tour I won’t be hear but we’ll be together forever. I want to be with you forever and me being in a band isn’t going to change that. I promise you. Four months doesn’t sound like a long time but we can do a lot in that time, you can figure a lot out in four months. Just don’t give up on anything okay. You shouldn’t get so worked up over these things; you’ll work it out in the end.” Vic comforted her, something Tegan felt bad for, Vic was always comforting her and she felt like she never comforted him. She felt guilty that she had all these problems and that Vic was the only person she went to with them. That’s part of the reason she turns to cocaine, so she doesn’t burden Vic too much.
“Come on, let’s get home. It’s getting really cold” Vic suggested and Tegan agreed. The pair went home, both hoping that the next four months would be kind to them.

Notes

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