I could barely sleep and I spent half the night being half asleep. At three in the morning, after having laid awake in bed for a while, I got up. I heard the sound of my mom coughing in her room and went to check on her.

I opened the door and turned on the lights to see my mom sitting in the middle of the bed in her pajamas. There was blood everywhere and she was leaning down.

”Mom?” I mumbled and walked closer.

She lifted her head up and I saw blood dripping down her chin. She quickly tried to wipe it away with her hand.

”I think we should head down to the hospital,” she whispered. I nodded and helped her up from the bed.

”It's hard to breathe,” she mumbled as I helped her walk down the stairs. I didn't know what to say so I just walked her out and in to my car.

”I need to get dressed,” I mumbled, ”I'll be right back, okay?” She nodded and I pretty much ran back in. I found my way back in to my room and grabbed a dirty hoodie from the floor. While pulling it on, I grabbed my keys and phone and headed back out.

The whole town was still asleep as we drove to the hospital. The radio was turned off and all I could hear was my mom breathing heavily in the seat next to mine. She had her eyes closed and I was sure she had passed out but I didn't dare look at her. As long as she was breathing, everything was okay.

The drive to the hospital felt too long and when we finally got there, mom wouldn't wake up. She was still breathing but I couldn't wake her up and I started to panic. I started to dial 911 but quickly realized that there was no point because I already was right in front of a hospital. So I shut the door and ran inside to find help.

I got to go home at six in the morning. A couple of nurses had helped me get mom inside and apparently she was in a weak condition, but she was still alive. I didn't dare tell the nurses about the cigarettes she had smoked the previous night. They had taken her into one of the rooms and given her some medicine. Then they told me that it was no use to wait for her to wake up, because it could take a while, so I drove back home.

Hours, even days passed by before I heard anything from Vic. I had just come home from the hospital after seeing mom there when my phone started buzzing in my pocket. I looked at the screen and much to my surprise I noticed it was my dearest ex-boyfriend.

”Hello?”

”Hey, Lucy, I can't talk for long, I just had to hear your voice. Is everything okay over there?” Just hearing the sound of Vic's voice made me smile like an idiot.

”Yeah, everything is fine,” I said, ”How's the UK?”

”It's been amazing, the crowds over here are awesome,” he told me, ”But I miss you. I wish we could have taken you with us.”

”I couldn't have come, Vic. I have to take care of mom.”

”How is she, by the way?”

”She's... She's good,” I lied. I wasn't able to tell him the truth because I didn't want to make him worry by telling him that she actually wasn't good at all.

”That's good,” he said, ”So we're coming home next week, do you want to pick me up from the airport?”

”Uh, yeah, sure. Make sure you have lots of fun while you're there!”

”I will. I love you, Lucy,” he said and my heart skipped a few beats.

”I love you, too. Bye.”

Finn was playing on his Xbox in the livingroom as I walked in. I sat down on the other couch and watched as he played for a moment.

”How was mom?” he asked without moving his eyes away from the screen.

”She was... The same,” I shrugged, ”I don't know. You know, Finn, she... She's not doing well.”

”I know.”

”And she might not... I mean, she might not be here for long anymore...”

”I know.”

”How are you doing, Finn? With all this going on?”

”I'm playing now, Lu, can we talk about this some other time?” he muttered.

”No, Finn,” I shook my head, ”We're never going to talk about this, it's never a good time.”

”Fine, okay, let's talk about this,” he muttered and paused the game. He turned to look at me.

”How do you think I'm doing? My mom is dying and there's nothing I can do about it. It's all I can think about it and it's killing me. I don't know what to do or how to act,” he said, ”I wish you would stop asking how I'm doing because I really don't know.”

”I'm sorry,” I mumbled, ”I had no idea. I just... I have to make sure you're okay.”

”I know that but I can't tell you I'm okay. This is hard for me,” he admitted. I just wanted to get up and hug that boy and tell him that everything would be alright. But I couldn't.

The next morning I got a call from my mother's doctor. He asked me to come down to the hospital as soon as possible. Apparently it was something important, and I expected the worst. I woke Finn up and we made our way to the hospital.

There was a lump in my throat as we walked in. Much to my surprise, my mother was still alive and kicking in her room. She didn't look good, she never really did, but she was alive and I let out a sigh of relief. While Finn went to chat with mom, the doctor asked me to step outside for a moment, and I did.

”Listen, your mother isn't doing well,” he said right away, ”And I'm afraid she won't make it through the night.”

”Oh, wow... That's... That's quite a lot to take in,” I mumbled and took a step back. My back hit the wall behind me and I leaned against it, trying to somehow keep myself together.

”Is there anybody we could call? Your father? Some of your mother's siblings?”

”No,” I shook my head, ”My father lives on the other side of the world and mom doesn't really have anyone left but us.”

”Ah, okay. I'm sorry, this must be tough,” he said and I just nodded. He had no idea.

When I walked back in to the room, I tried my best to force a smile on my face. It was better if Finn didn't know that it would be his last day with mom, I thought, so I had to pretend like everything was fine. My eyes met my mother's and I could tell she knew exactly what the doctor had just told me. I quickly looked away and tried to pretend like it hadn't just happened.

Finn and I spent the whole day with mom. The medicine they gave her made her sleepy and she passed out every once in a while and every time I was just as scared that she wasn't going to wake up. But she did, thankfully, and life could go on. When it got really late, we had to leave. Finn kissed mom goodbye and I waited outside and let them be alone for a moment. When he came out, I handed him the car keys and went in to say goodbye to mom. But when I walked in, she was unconscious so I sat down and looked at her for a moment. I reached closer and grabbed her cold hand. I held it for a moment and a few tears rolled down my cheeks.

When I got up to leave, I leaned down to kiss her cheek.

”I love you, mom,” I whispered and touched her cheek carefully. She wasn't breathing.

Finn was sitting in the car when I got there. He was listening to the radio, not knowing what had just happened, and I was going to keep it that way because I wanted him to have some sleep before breaking the news to him. We didn't talk much as we drove and I only said goodnight to him when we got home.

As I laid in bed that night, the tears started rolling down my face again. She was gone, I thought, I no longer had a mother. But even when I thought of it, it didn't really feel real. I mean... I couldn't nor did I want to believe that she was gone. So I didn't. I imagined that nothing had happened. She was still there, somewhere out there.