The Thing I Think I Love, Will Surely Bring Me Pain.
Chapter 5.
"Add, you good?" Dave asked as he finished setting everything up and sat next to me. I laughed and made a bubble with my gum.
"Peachy." I said. He furrowed his eyebrows and sighed.
"Wow, no need to be mean about it.."
"Look I'm sorry. I didn't get much sleep, and I have alot on my mind." He just nodded.
"Wanna talk about it?" I shook my head and he nodded and took out his phone. I pulled out my ipod and played some music, being as no bands would be playing for awhile since we just got here.
How could Tony know so much about me like that? Nobody has ever understood me like that, which scared me, but it was somewhat relieving to know I wasn't the only one who has felt like this. I don't think I could ever tell anyone my past. I've never told anybody, I've refused to. It will be kept locked in my brain until the day I die, because if I tell anyone, they'll run away. If they don't then they'll still leave me alone one day, and I can't handle that. Something about Tony though, something about him is so inviting, almost like he knows what I've been through and he won't leave me. Last night, the only thing that was on my mind was Tony, the almost kiss, and my past, which was bitter sweet. Maybe I should tell him..
"CAN YOU TELL -Addie..- FROM THE LOOK IN HER EYES? WE'RE -ADDIE!- GOING-"
"God, what?!" I screamed and took out my headphones. I saw Tony looking at me wide eyed and I immediately felt like shit.
"Tony, I didn't know it was you. I'm sorry. It's just I'm kind of on edge today." I whispered. He nodded and pulled me into a hug. I smiled and shyly pulled away after a minute.
"You gotta rest that leg Tony, you can't keep walking if you want it to heal." He nodded and sat on the gernie.
"Well, luckily, the guys found someone to play guitar so they can still perform." He said with a relieved smile.
"Oh awesome!" I said and put some ice in a bag and setting it on his knee. He chuckled and nodded.
"I came to talk to you, you don't need to take care of me."
"Might as well. You walked all the way over here, And talk?" I asked and raised my eyebrow.
"Yeah.. um, about the.. kiss thing-"
"It's fine. I know you have a girlfriend and everything. Let's just..move on from it." It hurt a bit to say, and I didn't want to really mean it, but it had to be said. He bit his lip and nodded.
"Yeah, okay. Uh another thing, well I obviously can't perform, so I was wondering if on your break, we could grab a coffee or something.." He asked as he blushed and twiddled his thumbs. I couldn't help but giggle at how cute 'Nervous Tony' was.
"Sure, but what about..Steph?" His head snapped up and he rolled his eyes.
"You're my..." He gulped. "friend, she'll get over it." I raised my eyebrow at him.
"What was that abo-"
"5 MINUTES UNTIL OPENING!" I heard a voice scream through the walkie talkie. I sighed and he frowned and got off of the bed.
"You have 5 minutes to get back to your bus before you get mobbed." I warned. He laughed and nodded.
"Yeah, no shit. Being crippled doesn't help either."
"You're pretty much fucked." I said. We both busted out laughing and he pulled me into another tight hug.
"Text me when you're on break okay? Shit text me all day. The guys are gonna be gone and I'm gonna be bored." He said. I nodded and pulled away.
"Sure, go. There's now..." I said and looked at my phone. "3 minutes until doors open."
"Shit." He muttered. "Alright see ya Addie."
"Bye Tone." He walked off and I sighed. I really didn't want him to leave. Wait, do I.. No, I don't like him. I mean he's cute and sweet, but he has a girlfriend, and I can't get attached. You get attached, the harder it is to see them leave you. I think it's a bit too late for that now. Addie, you fucking idiot.
-------------------
"Dave is it cool if I take my break?"
"Yeah sure. You got 2 hours." I nodded and thanked him. I went to call Tony, until he seemed to beat me to it. I laughed and answered the phone.
"Hey Tony."
"Addie! Wassup!" He screamed down the phone.
"Nothin. Actually just got on break.."
"Awesome, you still up to chill?" I bit my lip and sighed. Don't get attached, don't get attached. My brain repeated, sounding like a broken record.
"Aaaaaddddiiieeeee." He said in a sing song voice, making me giggle and blush.
"Yes Tone?"
"You wanna meet up?"
"Yeah." Came out of my mouth before I could stop it. I face palmed myself and sighed.
"Okay, Outside of the gates, there's a starbucks. That sound good?"
"Sure, but how are you supposed to leave without getting trampled by fangirls?"
"I'll find a way for you, just stay there and wait okay?"
"Okay, just please don't get hurt Tony." I noticed the own worry in my voice and furrowed my eyebrows. Why do I care so much?
I heard him chuckle over the phone, making me smile and blush. "I won't don't worry. See you in a few Add."
"Bye." I said and hung up, getting excited the closer I got to the Starbucks, but also wanting to turn around at the same time.
----------------------
I saw Tony walk into the shop and my God, did he look good. He looked around and saw me. He smiled and took off his sunglasses. I got up from my seat and he gave me a hug.
"Hey."
"Hey, so I see you made it out alive." He chucked and nodded.
"Barely." My smiled dropped.
"Seriously? Shit. I could've just came to the bus and-"
"Adeline, chill. Only about 10 people asked for pictures, nothing serious happened. Thank you for worrying about me though." He said and winked. I blushed and nodded.
"So, I never really got the chance to get to know you."
"Are you serious?" He pursed his lips and shook his head. "You know like everything about me."
"Says who?"
"Says the one who explained my whole life in about 5 minutes last night."
"That doesn't mean I know you Add, it just means I know how you feel." I sighed and looked up at him.
"Wait, how DO you know how I feel?" He shrugged.
"Because I feel the same. We have like the same thoughts, but it's different circumstances, i'm sure." I nodded.
"It's kind of nice to know I'm not the only person who like.. thinks like this."
"Yeah..it is." He said and smiled.
"So, whatever you want to know, ask away."
"Okay, so did you want to be a medic?"
"Actually, I did once I realized my other options wouldn't work. I decided in Freshman year that I wanted to pursue it because I like to help people."
"Wait, other options?"
"Oh, yeah. I wanted to be a musician when I was like 7, and realized how impossible it is to get into that industry. I wanted to be a tattoo artist when I was like 10, but I'm a horrible artist, so that wouldn't exactly work out." I said and laughed. Tony laughed under his breath and shook his head at me.
"So.. You wanted to be a musician? What did you play?" I shrugged.
"Guitar and piano. I would write songs on a daily basis, but they were never good enough, so I just ditched them and stopped. I still play, I just don't write anymore."
"WHAT?! Why? I wanna hear some of your songs!" I laughed and quickly shook my head.
"No. I doubt you'll ever hear me sing or play, much less my originals."
"Stop, I'm sure your really talented. At least promise me we can jam sometime." He said and nudged me with his shoulder. I looked up at him and he winked, causing my head to snap back down as my cheeks heated almost immediately.
"Please?"
"Fine. but not until I get to know you better." What the hell am I doing? I can't even name enough people on one hand that have seen or heard me play. Why am I giving in so easily, I barely know him.
"Fuck yes! Okay well we're hanging out everyday until you 'get to know me' " He said and laughed. I smiled and rolled my eyes.
"Right, if you say so." I mumbled. He smirked and went to talk again but his phone went off. He pulled it out and looked at the name and groaned. I raised my eyebrow and he sent me an apologetic smile. What is going on?
"Hey Steph." Oh. "Just out with a friend.... Yes, she's a girl. It's Addie?...No, just stop. I'll be there when I get there." He said coldly and hung up. Even though I only heard one side of the conversation, the tension was thick and definitely didn't go unnoticed.
"Go see her, it's cool. I gotta get back to work anyways." He frowned.
"You still have like 15 more minutes though right?"
"Yeah, but obviously you're going to get bitched out for being with me.."
"Well I guess I'm already fucked then, what's another 15 minutes gonna do?" He asked with his eyebrow raised and an amused smile across his face. I laughed and shook my head.
"It's going to get you into some deeper shit, Perry. This was fun though, next time, it's your turn though." He sighed and smiled.
"Deal. C'mere." He said and stood up, wrapping me in a hug.
"You give alot of hugs."
"You like it, don't lie." When I didn't say anything he pulled back and smiled as he ran his finger across my now bright pink cheek. I did, what could I say?
"I'll see you later Tony. Text me."
"Definitely. See ya Addie." I waved and walked out, heading back to work.
I'm still scared to get attached, but something in me is screaming to risk it. Maybe he wouldn't leave and run, maybe none of them will. Should I open up? It's going to be hard, but maybe I can, just maybe.
"Peachy." I said. He furrowed his eyebrows and sighed.
"Wow, no need to be mean about it.."
"Look I'm sorry. I didn't get much sleep, and I have alot on my mind." He just nodded.
"Wanna talk about it?" I shook my head and he nodded and took out his phone. I pulled out my ipod and played some music, being as no bands would be playing for awhile since we just got here.
How could Tony know so much about me like that? Nobody has ever understood me like that, which scared me, but it was somewhat relieving to know I wasn't the only one who has felt like this. I don't think I could ever tell anyone my past. I've never told anybody, I've refused to. It will be kept locked in my brain until the day I die, because if I tell anyone, they'll run away. If they don't then they'll still leave me alone one day, and I can't handle that. Something about Tony though, something about him is so inviting, almost like he knows what I've been through and he won't leave me. Last night, the only thing that was on my mind was Tony, the almost kiss, and my past, which was bitter sweet. Maybe I should tell him..
"CAN YOU TELL -Addie..- FROM THE LOOK IN HER EYES? WE'RE -ADDIE!- GOING-"
"God, what?!" I screamed and took out my headphones. I saw Tony looking at me wide eyed and I immediately felt like shit.
"Tony, I didn't know it was you. I'm sorry. It's just I'm kind of on edge today." I whispered. He nodded and pulled me into a hug. I smiled and shyly pulled away after a minute.
"You gotta rest that leg Tony, you can't keep walking if you want it to heal." He nodded and sat on the gernie.
"Well, luckily, the guys found someone to play guitar so they can still perform." He said with a relieved smile.
"Oh awesome!" I said and put some ice in a bag and setting it on his knee. He chuckled and nodded.
"I came to talk to you, you don't need to take care of me."
"Might as well. You walked all the way over here, And talk?" I asked and raised my eyebrow.
"Yeah.. um, about the.. kiss thing-"
"It's fine. I know you have a girlfriend and everything. Let's just..move on from it." It hurt a bit to say, and I didn't want to really mean it, but it had to be said. He bit his lip and nodded.
"Yeah, okay. Uh another thing, well I obviously can't perform, so I was wondering if on your break, we could grab a coffee or something.." He asked as he blushed and twiddled his thumbs. I couldn't help but giggle at how cute 'Nervous Tony' was.
"Sure, but what about..Steph?" His head snapped up and he rolled his eyes.
"You're my..." He gulped. "friend, she'll get over it." I raised my eyebrow at him.
"What was that abo-"
"5 MINUTES UNTIL OPENING!" I heard a voice scream through the walkie talkie. I sighed and he frowned and got off of the bed.
"You have 5 minutes to get back to your bus before you get mobbed." I warned. He laughed and nodded.
"Yeah, no shit. Being crippled doesn't help either."
"You're pretty much fucked." I said. We both busted out laughing and he pulled me into another tight hug.
"Text me when you're on break okay? Shit text me all day. The guys are gonna be gone and I'm gonna be bored." He said. I nodded and pulled away.
"Sure, go. There's now..." I said and looked at my phone. "3 minutes until doors open."
"Shit." He muttered. "Alright see ya Addie."
"Bye Tone." He walked off and I sighed. I really didn't want him to leave. Wait, do I.. No, I don't like him. I mean he's cute and sweet, but he has a girlfriend, and I can't get attached. You get attached, the harder it is to see them leave you. I think it's a bit too late for that now. Addie, you fucking idiot.
-------------------
"Dave is it cool if I take my break?"
"Yeah sure. You got 2 hours." I nodded and thanked him. I went to call Tony, until he seemed to beat me to it. I laughed and answered the phone.
"Hey Tony."
"Addie! Wassup!" He screamed down the phone.
"Nothin. Actually just got on break.."
"Awesome, you still up to chill?" I bit my lip and sighed. Don't get attached, don't get attached. My brain repeated, sounding like a broken record.
"Aaaaaddddiiieeeee." He said in a sing song voice, making me giggle and blush.
"Yes Tone?"
"You wanna meet up?"
"Yeah." Came out of my mouth before I could stop it. I face palmed myself and sighed.
"Okay, Outside of the gates, there's a starbucks. That sound good?"
"Sure, but how are you supposed to leave without getting trampled by fangirls?"
"I'll find a way for you, just stay there and wait okay?"
"Okay, just please don't get hurt Tony." I noticed the own worry in my voice and furrowed my eyebrows. Why do I care so much?
I heard him chuckle over the phone, making me smile and blush. "I won't don't worry. See you in a few Add."
"Bye." I said and hung up, getting excited the closer I got to the Starbucks, but also wanting to turn around at the same time.
----------------------
I saw Tony walk into the shop and my God, did he look good. He looked around and saw me. He smiled and took off his sunglasses. I got up from my seat and he gave me a hug.
"Hey."
"Hey, so I see you made it out alive." He chucked and nodded.
"Barely." My smiled dropped.
"Seriously? Shit. I could've just came to the bus and-"
"Adeline, chill. Only about 10 people asked for pictures, nothing serious happened. Thank you for worrying about me though." He said and winked. I blushed and nodded.
"So, I never really got the chance to get to know you."
"Are you serious?" He pursed his lips and shook his head. "You know like everything about me."
"Says who?"
"Says the one who explained my whole life in about 5 minutes last night."
"That doesn't mean I know you Add, it just means I know how you feel." I sighed and looked up at him.
"Wait, how DO you know how I feel?" He shrugged.
"Because I feel the same. We have like the same thoughts, but it's different circumstances, i'm sure." I nodded.
"It's kind of nice to know I'm not the only person who like.. thinks like this."
"Yeah..it is." He said and smiled.
"So, whatever you want to know, ask away."
"Okay, so did you want to be a medic?"
"Actually, I did once I realized my other options wouldn't work. I decided in Freshman year that I wanted to pursue it because I like to help people."
"Wait, other options?"
"Oh, yeah. I wanted to be a musician when I was like 7, and realized how impossible it is to get into that industry. I wanted to be a tattoo artist when I was like 10, but I'm a horrible artist, so that wouldn't exactly work out." I said and laughed. Tony laughed under his breath and shook his head at me.
"So.. You wanted to be a musician? What did you play?" I shrugged.
"Guitar and piano. I would write songs on a daily basis, but they were never good enough, so I just ditched them and stopped. I still play, I just don't write anymore."
"WHAT?! Why? I wanna hear some of your songs!" I laughed and quickly shook my head.
"No. I doubt you'll ever hear me sing or play, much less my originals."
"Stop, I'm sure your really talented. At least promise me we can jam sometime." He said and nudged me with his shoulder. I looked up at him and he winked, causing my head to snap back down as my cheeks heated almost immediately.
"Please?"
"Fine. but not until I get to know you better." What the hell am I doing? I can't even name enough people on one hand that have seen or heard me play. Why am I giving in so easily, I barely know him.
"Fuck yes! Okay well we're hanging out everyday until you 'get to know me' " He said and laughed. I smiled and rolled my eyes.
"Right, if you say so." I mumbled. He smirked and went to talk again but his phone went off. He pulled it out and looked at the name and groaned. I raised my eyebrow and he sent me an apologetic smile. What is going on?
"Hey Steph." Oh. "Just out with a friend.... Yes, she's a girl. It's Addie?...No, just stop. I'll be there when I get there." He said coldly and hung up. Even though I only heard one side of the conversation, the tension was thick and definitely didn't go unnoticed.
"Go see her, it's cool. I gotta get back to work anyways." He frowned.
"You still have like 15 more minutes though right?"
"Yeah, but obviously you're going to get bitched out for being with me.."
"Well I guess I'm already fucked then, what's another 15 minutes gonna do?" He asked with his eyebrow raised and an amused smile across his face. I laughed and shook my head.
"It's going to get you into some deeper shit, Perry. This was fun though, next time, it's your turn though." He sighed and smiled.
"Deal. C'mere." He said and stood up, wrapping me in a hug.
"You give alot of hugs."
"You like it, don't lie." When I didn't say anything he pulled back and smiled as he ran his finger across my now bright pink cheek. I did, what could I say?
"I'll see you later Tony. Text me."
"Definitely. See ya Addie." I waved and walked out, heading back to work.
I'm still scared to get attached, but something in me is screaming to risk it. Maybe he wouldn't leave and run, maybe none of them will. Should I open up? It's going to be hard, but maybe I can, just maybe.
Notes
Long one for you guys, more soon ;*Love ya<3
:D YUSSS OMF I CAN' WAIT. lel fuck yeah.
10/14/13