The Thing I Think I Love, Will Surely Bring Me Pain.
Chapter 32.
I dropped the microphone, it making a screeching sound boom through the speakers. We all jumped out of our state of shock and covered our ears, the crowd screaming at us.
"OW WHAT THE FUCK!"
"I KNEW YOU WERE A WHORE!"
"AUSTIN FUCKING LIED!"
I ran off stage in tears and booked it to the bus.
------------------------
"I-I thought things would be okay Jaime! We were both drunk and he apologized to us both! I don't know why he did that! I pushed him away too I swear! I-" I rambled as he stepped on the bus. He shushed me and wiped my tears before pulling me in a hug.
"I saw you push him away, you did nothing wrong Adds. We're not mad, well not at you, anyways."
"Wh-Where are they." I said and pushed away from him.
"Um 'Talking' to austin." He said, his voice changing at the word.
"Are they going to hurt him?! Oh God.." I said and went to run to the door, but Jaime's arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me back, just as I got to the door.
"Oh no you don't." He said. putting me back in front of him.
"JAIME WHAT IF THEY-"
"Then he gets what he deserves. Adds, you gotta understand that Austin is treading waters that he needs to stay away from. You're with Tony, and he's with you. If anyone kisses their friends girlfriend, they need to get their ass beat."
"But he could hurt Tony! He's so much taller and-" He sighed and grabbed my hands.
"He can handle his own Adds. besides, the guys are with him. We all want to fucking kill him, but you're not good by yourself when you're like this. Just relax okay? You have nothing to worry about, nothing's your fault and you'll be o-" The door clicked open and I saw Austin walk in. His eyes were trained on the ground and he kept his hands in his pockets. Jaime's head snapped around and he kept a grip on my hand and looked at him.
"Get out."
"Just, Addie, can we talk?"
"You can talk while I'm fucking with her." Austin finally looked up from the ground and I noticed he had a black eye starting to form and a big gash on his eyebrow.
"Please.." He whispered, his eyes looking so helpless that it broke my heart. I nodded and went to walk forward, but Jaime's grip never left my hand.
"Jaime it'll be fine." I said. His eyes burned into Austin and he let my hand go.
"So help me God, you even touch her.."
"I won't." He said and opened the door for me as I walked through and hopped out closing it behind him and leaning his shoulder against the bus.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that."
"And until now, you thought it would be okay! What the fuck were you thinking Austin?!"
"I-I wasn't.." He whispered.
"Yeah, no shit. I would understand the fact that we were drunk, and neither one of us remembered-"
"But I did." My eyes widened and my jaw dropped.
"Y-You told me you didn't.."
"But I did Addie, and I-I just really like you and-"
"No, Austin stop. I can't hear this. I have Tony, and you know I do. If you want this to even be close to being fixed, our friendship, you can't just go kissing me. You gotta control yourself."
"I know, I know, and I'm sorry."
"Sorry's not gonna fix it for a while. Do you know the shit I got for the picture your 'Girlfriend' found?! Ask Tony, I fucking cried myself to sleep . Imagine the hate I'm going to get for this shit! I'm already insecure as hell, and I can't handle the shit that's going to come. I've heard it all already, and everytime I do, it still breaks my heart, and makes the urges even worse. Austin, you don't fucking understand!" I screamed at him. His head shot up and worry flashed through his eyes.
"U-Urges? You don't..."
"NO OF COURSE NOT. I ONLY WEAR A SHIT LOAD OF BRACELETS BECAUSE THEY'RE IN FUCKING STYLE!" I screamed and shook my wrist, the several bracelets jingling and moving.
"N-No.." He whispered and looked at me with tears in his eyes. "C-Can I see them?"
"Austin for fucks sake! They aren't up for display! You don't fucking realize the shit I've gone through, and you don't just ask people if they'll show you that shit. You're pissing me off so bad right now, just get the fuck away from me before I give you another fucking black eye to match the one they gave you." He looked back at the ground and stood there. "GO! FUCK OFF!" He sighed and held out his wrist. I looked down, but all I saw was his tattoos.
"What Austin! What?! Leave." He grabbed my hand and ran it across, feeling the scars across his wrist, like little speedbumps marked into his skin. I gasped and looked up at him.
"You can't tell anyone. I don't anymore, I haven't for a few years, but-"
"CARLILE WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" I heard Tony scream. I ran up to him and held his shoulders, trying to get him to stop walking.
"TONY STOP!" I screamed.
"YOU'RE FUCKING OKAY WITH THIS?!"
"He was just apologizing!" I looked back at Austin. "Go, we're talking later." He nodded and took off.
"Calm down okay? Calm down."
"NO! THAT FUCKER GOES BACK TO YOU WHEN I SPECIFICALLY SAID TO NEVER-"
"Tony, I'm allowed to talk to him. He came to apologize, and he did, until you came. You need to stop." He sighed and nodded.
"I-I'm sorry, I just can't lose you.. We perform in 20, do you wanna come watch?"
"I don't know if-"
"Please?" He whispered and kissed me. I sighed and nodded. He smiled and pounded on the bus door.
"HIME TIME LET'S GO!" He screamed. The door flew open and he jumped out.
"It's about time.. Everything was okay, right Adds?" I nodded and we headed back stage.
-----
"Tony."
"Yeah?"
"I have to go back to work in a few days."
"Oh, shit.. that's right. No." He said and wrapped his arms around me.
"Yes." I said laughing. "I've left Sarah hanging for almost 2 weeks now, And Warped ends in 3." I said. Fear and sadness washed over me quickly at the realization of leaving Tony in less than a month. I pushed him away and he furrowed his eyebrows.
"You okay?" I shook my head, causing a tear to fall. Worry crossed his features and he wrapped me back in his arms.
"Babe, it's okay. Tell me what's wrong.."
"Y-You're going to leave me.." He sighed and pulled me closer.
"We'll figure it out okay? I'm not going to leave you. What state do you live in?"
"Minnesota.." I whispered. I heard him mumble a 'Fuck..' .
"Okay, um-"
"PTV! STAGE! 2 MINUTES!"
"We're talking about this soon, I promise okay? I have to go get Mic'ed and everything." I sighed and pulled away, wiping my tears.
"Y-Yeah.."
"Hey.." He whispered and picked up my gaze. "I love you.." I nodded and kissed him.
"I love you too."
"TONY! LET'S GO!" Vic screamed. I sighed and he gave me an apologetic look and kissed me once more before running off.
----------
For some reason, watching them play cheered me up. Just watching the crowd go crazy, jumping around with the guys as they played and sung their hearts out. I looked up to see a light fixture that lit up the stage, being as it was the evening time, but it seemed to move back and forth, a little too much. I kept my eyes on it, watching as it turned a certain way that the silver screw unscrewed a little bit more each time. I bit my lip and looked back at the stage to see Jaime hop off of his plat form and almost right under the light.
Maybe I was just worrying too much. It was their last song and it was almost over. Nothing's going to happen. I tried to tell myself, but saw the screw drop onto the stage, the light fixture falling right after it.
"JAIME!" I screamed and ran out, shoving him out of the way, leaving me to take the hit. I fell straight to the ground, the shattering of glass and the crowd screaming in horror being the last thing I heard as I blacked out almost immediately.
"OW WHAT THE FUCK!"
"I KNEW YOU WERE A WHORE!"
"AUSTIN FUCKING LIED!"
I ran off stage in tears and booked it to the bus.
------------------------
"I-I thought things would be okay Jaime! We were both drunk and he apologized to us both! I don't know why he did that! I pushed him away too I swear! I-" I rambled as he stepped on the bus. He shushed me and wiped my tears before pulling me in a hug.
"I saw you push him away, you did nothing wrong Adds. We're not mad, well not at you, anyways."
"Wh-Where are they." I said and pushed away from him.
"Um 'Talking' to austin." He said, his voice changing at the word.
"Are they going to hurt him?! Oh God.." I said and went to run to the door, but Jaime's arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me back, just as I got to the door.
"Oh no you don't." He said. putting me back in front of him.
"JAIME WHAT IF THEY-"
"Then he gets what he deserves. Adds, you gotta understand that Austin is treading waters that he needs to stay away from. You're with Tony, and he's with you. If anyone kisses their friends girlfriend, they need to get their ass beat."
"But he could hurt Tony! He's so much taller and-" He sighed and grabbed my hands.
"He can handle his own Adds. besides, the guys are with him. We all want to fucking kill him, but you're not good by yourself when you're like this. Just relax okay? You have nothing to worry about, nothing's your fault and you'll be o-" The door clicked open and I saw Austin walk in. His eyes were trained on the ground and he kept his hands in his pockets. Jaime's head snapped around and he kept a grip on my hand and looked at him.
"Get out."
"Just, Addie, can we talk?"
"You can talk while I'm fucking with her." Austin finally looked up from the ground and I noticed he had a black eye starting to form and a big gash on his eyebrow.
"Please.." He whispered, his eyes looking so helpless that it broke my heart. I nodded and went to walk forward, but Jaime's grip never left my hand.
"Jaime it'll be fine." I said. His eyes burned into Austin and he let my hand go.
"So help me God, you even touch her.."
"I won't." He said and opened the door for me as I walked through and hopped out closing it behind him and leaning his shoulder against the bus.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that."
"And until now, you thought it would be okay! What the fuck were you thinking Austin?!"
"I-I wasn't.." He whispered.
"Yeah, no shit. I would understand the fact that we were drunk, and neither one of us remembered-"
"But I did." My eyes widened and my jaw dropped.
"Y-You told me you didn't.."
"But I did Addie, and I-I just really like you and-"
"No, Austin stop. I can't hear this. I have Tony, and you know I do. If you want this to even be close to being fixed, our friendship, you can't just go kissing me. You gotta control yourself."
"I know, I know, and I'm sorry."
"Sorry's not gonna fix it for a while. Do you know the shit I got for the picture your 'Girlfriend' found?! Ask Tony, I fucking cried myself to sleep . Imagine the hate I'm going to get for this shit! I'm already insecure as hell, and I can't handle the shit that's going to come. I've heard it all already, and everytime I do, it still breaks my heart, and makes the urges even worse. Austin, you don't fucking understand!" I screamed at him. His head shot up and worry flashed through his eyes.
"U-Urges? You don't..."
"NO OF COURSE NOT. I ONLY WEAR A SHIT LOAD OF BRACELETS BECAUSE THEY'RE IN FUCKING STYLE!" I screamed and shook my wrist, the several bracelets jingling and moving.
"N-No.." He whispered and looked at me with tears in his eyes. "C-Can I see them?"
"Austin for fucks sake! They aren't up for display! You don't fucking realize the shit I've gone through, and you don't just ask people if they'll show you that shit. You're pissing me off so bad right now, just get the fuck away from me before I give you another fucking black eye to match the one they gave you." He looked back at the ground and stood there. "GO! FUCK OFF!" He sighed and held out his wrist. I looked down, but all I saw was his tattoos.
"What Austin! What?! Leave." He grabbed my hand and ran it across, feeling the scars across his wrist, like little speedbumps marked into his skin. I gasped and looked up at him.
"You can't tell anyone. I don't anymore, I haven't for a few years, but-"
"CARLILE WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" I heard Tony scream. I ran up to him and held his shoulders, trying to get him to stop walking.
"TONY STOP!" I screamed.
"YOU'RE FUCKING OKAY WITH THIS?!"
"He was just apologizing!" I looked back at Austin. "Go, we're talking later." He nodded and took off.
"Calm down okay? Calm down."
"NO! THAT FUCKER GOES BACK TO YOU WHEN I SPECIFICALLY SAID TO NEVER-"
"Tony, I'm allowed to talk to him. He came to apologize, and he did, until you came. You need to stop." He sighed and nodded.
"I-I'm sorry, I just can't lose you.. We perform in 20, do you wanna come watch?"
"I don't know if-"
"Please?" He whispered and kissed me. I sighed and nodded. He smiled and pounded on the bus door.
"HIME TIME LET'S GO!" He screamed. The door flew open and he jumped out.
"It's about time.. Everything was okay, right Adds?" I nodded and we headed back stage.
-----
"Tony."
"Yeah?"
"I have to go back to work in a few days."
"Oh, shit.. that's right. No." He said and wrapped his arms around me.
"Yes." I said laughing. "I've left Sarah hanging for almost 2 weeks now, And Warped ends in 3." I said. Fear and sadness washed over me quickly at the realization of leaving Tony in less than a month. I pushed him away and he furrowed his eyebrows.
"You okay?" I shook my head, causing a tear to fall. Worry crossed his features and he wrapped me back in his arms.
"Babe, it's okay. Tell me what's wrong.."
"Y-You're going to leave me.." He sighed and pulled me closer.
"We'll figure it out okay? I'm not going to leave you. What state do you live in?"
"Minnesota.." I whispered. I heard him mumble a 'Fuck..' .
"Okay, um-"
"PTV! STAGE! 2 MINUTES!"
"We're talking about this soon, I promise okay? I have to go get Mic'ed and everything." I sighed and pulled away, wiping my tears.
"Y-Yeah.."
"Hey.." He whispered and picked up my gaze. "I love you.." I nodded and kissed him.
"I love you too."
"TONY! LET'S GO!" Vic screamed. I sighed and he gave me an apologetic look and kissed me once more before running off.
----------
For some reason, watching them play cheered me up. Just watching the crowd go crazy, jumping around with the guys as they played and sung their hearts out. I looked up to see a light fixture that lit up the stage, being as it was the evening time, but it seemed to move back and forth, a little too much. I kept my eyes on it, watching as it turned a certain way that the silver screw unscrewed a little bit more each time. I bit my lip and looked back at the stage to see Jaime hop off of his plat form and almost right under the light.
Maybe I was just worrying too much. It was their last song and it was almost over. Nothing's going to happen. I tried to tell myself, but saw the screw drop onto the stage, the light fixture falling right after it.
"JAIME!" I screamed and ran out, shoving him out of the way, leaving me to take the hit. I fell straight to the ground, the shattering of glass and the crowd screaming in horror being the last thing I heard as I blacked out almost immediately.
Notes
Well, school starts tomorrow, so updates will either slow waaaayyy down, or I'll be forced write shorter chapters, but I'm planning on having this finished by the end of the week.I'm thinking MAYBE asequel, but that depends on school and homework, yadda yadda, but there will be like a *Bonus chapter* thing when I'm done, so you can see the drama that comes later unfold (You guys are gonna fucking flip, I can't wwwaaaiiitt :D)
But, I just wanna say I love you all and thank you for sticking with my story so far<3
:D YUSSS OMF I CAN' WAIT. lel fuck yeah.
10/14/13