"I regret to inform you of this Miss. Rowledge and Mr. Fuentes, but you had a miscarriage,"the doctors words repeated in my head over and over again on the way home. I was clinging to the side of the car, crying like there was no tomorrow. Mike was driving slowly, trying to keep the car on the road himself as he cried also. He kept his hand clamped tight around mine the whole ride home. When we pulled into the driveway I didn't make any move to get out of the car, I couldn't move. It felt like I was paralyzed.
"Baby, come on please come inside," Mike sniffled, crouching down in front of the door that was now open.
I didn't say anything, I couldn't. The only thing I wanted more was for my child to be back in my stomach where he/she was safe. I wanted to have the aching back and swollen ankles, due to my child. I wanted that feeling, I wanted to be able to hold my baby in my arms, hear it's crys throughout the night. I wanted to feel it's first kick in my stomach, I longed for that feeling. And it was eating me alive that I wouldn't be able to do just that.
Mike placed his head in my lap, crying into my legs as I had my hands covering my eyes crying. "Please," Mike cried out. Pounding his fist on the side of the car.
"Mikey, our baby is gone," I cried, clamping my hand over my mouth to quiet the sobs.
"Shh, I know. But everything will be ok-"
I cut him off and pointed my finger at him, "dont you dare tell me everything will be 'okay' Micheal! Don't you dare!"
Mike looked at me wide eyed and sniffled, "I'm sorry, just please come inside."
I nodded my head slowly and turned to get out of the car, almost falling to the pavement due to my weakness. Mike scooped me up into his arms, kicking the car door shut behind him and walking up the passageway to the front door. Mike placed me on the couch and turned back to close the door, soon joining me on the couch and pulling me into him. I put my face in the crook of his neck and started crying again, "what are we going to do Mikey?"
"I don't know baby. But we're going to get through this together, I can promise you that," he whispered.
"Should we call the guys?" I asked.
"I-uh. Yeah I'll call them," he said leaning forward to grab his phone out of his back pocket.
"Hey, can you get everybody together and come over?" Mike asked into the phone. "We- we have some news. Just please?"
"We'll talk when you get here.. God damn it Vic! Just get everybody here and stop asking questions!" Mike snapped, slamming his phone down onto the table beside him.
I jumped at his sudden actions and scooted away from him, "shit Michelle I'm sorry. Come here," he said holding his arms out for me to come back into.
Ten minutes later everybody had arrived. And by everybody I mean everybody. Vic, Tony, Jaime, Anne, Jess, Vivian, Victor, Casey, and Matt. Basically everyone who knew about the baby was here.
"Whats going on?" Tony asked, uneasy.
"We have something to tell you," Mike spoke out.
"What is it man? The baby's okay, right? Nothing happened, everything's fine, right?" Vic asked, looking back and forth between Mike and I.
I shook my head no, "I had-I had a miscarriage."
I looked around at everyone's faces, sad, confused, disbelief, shocked, surprised, and empty. It was on everyone's faces, I broke down once again, running off into the direction of the bedroom. I jumped onto the bed and put my face into the pillow, crying and gripping onto the sheets pulling at them. I felt a hand placed onto my back, I didn't even hear the door open.
I looked up and saw Ton sitting there with a sad look, "come here," he said holding his arms out to me. I crawled into his embrace and I sat there crying for God knows how long. I couldn't even stop, violent sobs just kept making there up through my body. I was pissed for not being able to carry my first child. I couldn't even keep it out of danger when it was in my own stomach, how could I keep it safe when it wasn't? Why couldn't I be the one to die instead of my own baby? Why couldnt I be up there with it? I want to be able to comfort it, hear my child say it's first words for the fist time. I wanted to see Mike come home and the child wwould go screaming running towards him as he walked through the door. It broke my heart that I wouldnt be able to witness these little things.
I wanted to be with my baby..

Notes

Wasn't too sad for you was it? I'm sorry :( don't kill meh.
One more day of freedom guys. Don't make me go back! Why can't my internet friends be the people I go to school with?! You're all so kind and just border line awesome fucking people.
Thank you for reading, commenting, subscribing, and rating it means a looot.
Love you all!
-Schuyler