I could Sing You A Song

The guys all went to dinner and I stayed behind with Austin. He didn't want me to be alone and sick when everyone was out.

"I will be right back I am going to go call Evan" I said getting up.

"Okay i'll be here, I'll make you some soup to make you feel better" I smiled but I couldn't help but to feel bad that I lied about not feeling good.

I walked to the back lounge and called Evan.

"Hey baby how are you? I miss you so much" He said as he picked up the phone. I tried to fight back my tears.

"I miss you to, I did something bad today" I said and I heard him sigh on the other end.

"You cut again didn't you?" He asked

"I did, I feel so bad about it. I feel like I let you down" I had broken down into tears by this point.

"I'm not mad, everyone breaks down at one time or another. I am just happy you felt that you could tell me about it. I think you should talk to Austin about this. He can help you more than I can right now" I nodded and then mentally face palmed myself because I knew Evan couldn't see me.

"You just nodded into the phone didn't you?" I chuckled

"Yeah I did, You know me so well. I should probably go. Tell my mom and dad I love them. Love you baby bye" We said our good byes and I mustered up the strength to talk to Austin about the events that happened earlier in the day.

"Hey, How was everyone on the other tour?" He asked as he set a bowl of hot soup in front of me.

"Umm they were good"

"You okay? You seem down ever since the guys left" I shrugged and Austin sat at the table across from me.

"I am just feeling guilty thats all" He seemed to be confused

"I did a bad thing today," I took a breath and rolled up my sleeves "I cut and broke the clean streak that I had going, I feel like such a failure. I just couldn't be strong anymore, I am so sorry" I wiped a tear away deciding that I wasn't going to let myself break down.

"Why didn't you just come to me? I could have helped you. I am not mad but just know that you can always talk to me when you feel like doing this" He took my hands in his and rubbed circles on the back of them.

"I ..I felt like going to someone was a sign of weakness but now I know it would have been a sign of strength. I just I couldn't do it, there was this girl who called me fat and told me that is why my dad pawned me off on your band" He shook his head.

"There are always going to be people in this world that try to hurt you and get under your skin but you have to tell yourself that you are better than them. I will always be there for you, no matter what" I got up and hugged him so tight I thought I might break him.

"Thank you so much Austin I really am thankful for you" He smiled and I finished my soup.

About an hour later the guys came back with a big box.

"Hey guys how was your night?" Phil asked as they walked into the bus. Austin looked at me and smiled.

"It was good we just talked about some things. How was your night?"


"It was fucking amazing dude, I saw a really hot chick and I almost got her number too" Alan said in an excited voice

"Yeah until she told you to fuck off and stop being a creep" Aaron stated lamely.

I laughed so hard but then something didn't feel right. I started to cough. I couldn't stop.

"I can't breath I need a drink" I said and Tino ran to get a bottle of water from the fridge. I took it but it didn't help. I felt nausea creep up on me. I ran to the bathroom and threw the contents of my stomach up. I look closer to see blood.

"AUSTIN!" I yelled and he came running into the bathroom with the guys right behind him.

"Are you okay?" He asked and I shook my head

"N-no there is blood in my vomit, this isn't good Austin." I flushed the toilet but soon needed to throw up again. This time everything that I had thrown up was blood and I handed Alan my phone and told him to call my mom and dad and tell them. Austin sat on the bathroom floor with me while I threw up.

"It is going to be okay." I looked at him and tried to be strong but this thing worried me a lot.

"I hope s-" My vomit cut me off again and he just ribbed circles on my back.

Alan ran in and picked me up and ran out of the bus and into a rental car with me . The guys jumped in soon after we got in.

"You dad told me that you need to go to the hospital before the blood gets worse" I let the tears fall.

"G-guys I'm scared" I said as I clutched onto Phil.

"I know you are but it will be okay because we are going to be right here with you every step of the way" Tino said

"I hope so because this hurts like a motherfucking bitch" Alan chuckled and Austin hit his arm

"I know it probably does hurt and we are almost to the ER" Aaron said

We arrived and I was immediately taken to a room. The doctors hooked me up to an I.V and told me that they were going to run some tests on me to find out what was going on with me.

"Okay Ms. Perry, We are sending each of the tests that we ran on you to the lab they should be back within an hour but for now is there anything that you would like?" He asked and I shook my head.

"No thank you" He left and everyone stood and looked at me.

"This is pretty much a normal for me guys so don't be nervous" I stated and they loosened up a bit.

"You look tired why don't you try and get some sleep before the doctor comes back in" Austin said.

"Okay" I rolled over to try to sleep. Austin had turned the light out in the room so I could sleep.
I rolled over and sat up.

"Alan?" He sat up

"Yeah? are you okay?" He asked and I giggled

"Umm yeah but do you think you could lay with me ? I just need someone to hold me right now. My dad usually cuddles me when I am here" He smiled and climbed into the bed with me.

"I would love to cuddle my bestest friend" He chuckled as he threw an arm over me and a blanket over himself. I nodded off to sleep but not for long because the doctor came in.

"Ms.Perry I have some good new and some bad news" I sighed and then looked him in the eye

"I want the bad new first"

"Well the cancer has spread to your stomach" I didn't cry because I am used to bad news by now

"The doctors said that this cancer couldn't spread" I said

"Yes we have recently found out in a study that it is fully capable of spreading b-" Austin cut him off

"What is the good news?" He asked in a panicked tone.

"Well, We can treat it with some medicine and she will have to start medical marijuana" I laughed

"But I already used medical Marijuana, so what is that going to help if I already use it?"

"We are aware that you use it, but you only use it when your in pain correct?" I nodded and he continued "You will have to smoke it about twice a day and as time progresses you will be using it three times a day and as for the medicine it is a small pill that you only have to take before you eat in the morning" okay well I could live with this

"Will this prevent with it spreading?" Alan asked

"Umm well the pill does and as for the marijuana it will help with the pain because throwing up blood every once in a while will start to take its toll on her body" We all nodded

We all went back to the bus and I called everyone back on the other tour to let them know what is going on and that I am okay.

Notes