I woke up the next morning in the same position that I fell asleep yesterday. It was very comfortable. I looked at Mike, and damn, he looked so hot while sleeping. I checked out a clock on a little table beside the bed, it was 9.30am, alright, it was good. I slightly moved, to release my boob that was pressed against my arm and Mike's chest and it was kinda hurtful. I thought it wasn't gonna wake him up, but I was wrong. What an idiot, Gina. He moved softly, then hugged me a little tighter, looked down at me, kissed my forehead and whispered ''good morning, pretty girl''. I smiled. I loved when he said I was pretty. I still didn't believe it, since I'm disgusting, but it made me smile. I buried my face on his neck. He smelled so good. We stayed like that for a few minutes, until a voice screamed ''who wants breakfasssst?!'' Jaime. We got up and headed to the kitchen. Tony and Jess were waiting for their pancakes, Jaime was cooking them very smily. Vic was sitting on a chair with his head on the table, probably sleeping. Mike and I sat at the table, his hand resting on my thigh. Jaime served us some pancakes. I can't eat that. ''I just want some tea'' I said, very low, with a kinda shy tone. ''Nothing to eat?'' Jaime responded, very quickly and loudly. ''I'm not used to eat for breakfast''. Everybody looked at me with discomfort, as Mike took my pancakes and placed them on his plate.
We stayed in that house for lunch. The guys proposed making a mini-barbecue. We were in the kitchen, some of them eating chips as they decide what they had to buy at the market, while watching TV. Casually, it was set in Discovery Channel, when suddely a program about anorexia started. I wasn't actually paying attention, until they started talking about it. Jaime and Vic were discussing about beauty and social pressure, Mike made commentaries about the extremely skinny girls, their bones prick while fucking. Tony and Jess were adding that it's important to love yourself and all that speach. Nobody was paying me attention. I was quiet, looking at a fixed point, completaly numb, with a huge knot in the stomach.I felt my eyes glassy. I didn't wanted to cry. They couldn't know. If they only knew what I've been through this last ten years... If they found out now, they'll think I'm a psychopath, or maybe worst, an attention seeker. I couldn't let that happen. I focused on the tears don't fall. Finally, the guys interrupted the conversation to go to the market to look for the necessary things for lunch. Before exit the house, Mike came to me and kissed me, I faked a smile to hide the tears that were forming in my eyes. Jess and I stayed alone in the house. We sitted there in silence for a few seconds, and then I brutally got up from my seat and went to the bathroom. I looked at me in the mirror. God, I'm a fucking whale. And when Mike find out that I'm mentally fucked he'll leave me, like everybody else. I'm not what I seem. I'll disappoint him. I'm a failure. I bursted into tears. And shit, I'm ugly when I cry. I tried to be quiet, but between the silence of the house, Jess listened to me. He knocked the bathroom door, I didn't answer it. She asked if I was okay, and I didn't responded. Finally, she knocked the door even harder, and before she can say a thing, I screamed ''I'm fine''. ''No, you're not'' she said. ''What's wrong?''. I didn't answer. ''Gigi, come out, talk to me'', I didn't answer. I tried to breathe, my tears kept falling, but stopped a little the sob. ''Gina, please''. I took the deepest breath I could take, opened the door and put a smile on my face. She hugged me and I couldn't help it, I started to cry in her shoulder. She guided me to the living room, we sitted on the couch, and I leaned resting my head on her lap. With one hand she began to stroke my head, and with the other, she rubbed my back with little circles. What was I doing? I knew this girl last night, why am I acting like a freak with her? She interrupt my thinking, telling me to tell her what happened to me. I didn't say much, just the basics and what triggered me, without giving any detail. At that moment, I was crying uncontrollably. Then, I heard the door opened. It hadn't been long since the boys were out. I didn't move, I just kept crying, because I couldn't do much more than that. I couldn't help it. Mike's voice was heard above the sound of my crying, ''girls, I forgot my-''. He stopped and stayed there without saying a word, stunned. I didn't see it, but I felt how Jess moved the hand in my back, and apparently gave Mike a sign to go out. I heard how he grabbed something from a little table near the door, and then, the door closed. I felt like an idiot. He saw me. He saw me crying uncontrollably, being a total different person that he knew. And now, he'll ask me. And I'm not going to have another way out, I'll have to tell him everything. I ruined it all. Again. It's been less than a week that we are in ''something'', and I already screwed it up. I'm a failure.
About ten minutes later, I was dry. I didn't have any more tears, I was just there, with my head in Jess's lap, numb. She lifted me up, and took me to the bathroom, where I washed my face. I was red. Then, we headed to the kitchen and we started making some home-made french fries, for when the boys come back. Around ten minutes later, they were here again. Their eyes opened wide when they saw the fries. They jumped to the plate to grab all the fries that they could. While they were eating, Vic looked at me, ''what happened to your face? it looked like you've been crying!'' said with concern. The other three guys looked at me, with worried expressions. I looked at Jess nervously, trying to find help to get out of that situation. She broke the silence saying ''she been drugged herself'' as she let out a nervous laugh. I faked my best smile, ''don't tell them, if they know I'll have to share'' I joked. They all laughed, but they knew I wasn't okay. Mike was looking at the floor, he just smiled with my joke, but he quickly became serious again. He looked very worried, and almost mad. He didn't do anything, not even looked at me, he just started walking to the backyard, with the market bags on his hands. I was devastated. I wanted to keep crying, but I held. I fucked things up. He probably hated me. I was so weak. Stupid worthless bitch. Jess placed a hand on my shoulder, showing support.
He didn't talked to me in the whole afternoon. Every once in a while, he gave me little kisses on the cheek. When it started to get darker, I decided it was time to leave. I said goodbye to everyone and started walking to the front door. Mike reached to me. I opened the door and before I could exit the house, he took my arm, approached me and planted a firm but sweet kiss on my lips. I missed that feeling. ''We need to talk'' he whispered. I nodded, but I was terrified. We both smiled a little, and I headed to my car. I started driving to my house as a tear fell down my cheek. I fucked things up. Shit. I arrived to my destiny. Left my purse and shoes on my bedroom floor. Finally, I looked for my blades. I fucked things up, so he won't notice anyway...

Notes

alright, I think this chapter is grammatically a shit (fucking spanish), sorry
I already wrote the next chapter on paper, I just have to translate it, I'll make it as fast as I can
thanks to all the people who's reading this, I love you :3