maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me
I’ve been having this dream that we can fly
I was friday morning. I was getting ready like every morning and I decided to send a text message to Sarah. We practically hadn't talked since the incident of the party, mostly because I felt bad because I didn't wanted to blame her. I asked her if she was going to the party today and she said yes, and that she could drive me there and home again, if I wanted to. I said yes. I actually didn't know if the fact that she was going was a good thing. Maybe, the thing of the other friday it's going to repeat and I didn't wanted to cry in public again. When I was ready, I headed to work.
The day went faster than I imagined. There were lots of customers, so I didn't have much time to think about my decision of tomorrow. When finally the time of go home again arrived, I just came back and started getting ready. I got a message of Sarah telling me that she was coming for me at 7. I had time. It wasn't necessary, but I took another shower. I looked at all the scars and felt disgusting. But, well, tomorrow all it's gonna be better. If I succeed, of course. I grabbed some underwear and put it on. I decided I was going to wear some black high-waisted shorts and a simple white long-sleeved shirt. I put on some high vans in my feet. I dried and straightened my hair and did my makeup, not too charged, just some eyeliner and mascara.
It was still a little early, so I sat on the piano and started playing. The last time I've sat there, I practiced a piano version of Tangled In The Great Escape that I found on the internet. It wasn't bad, so I played again until Sarah came for me.
When she arrived, she called me and I didn't answer, I just went out. I slipped in her car and drove to Jaime's house. I didn't said anything to her about the Mike thing. And obviously, absolutely nothing about what I was going to do tomorrow. Basically because she don't give a flying fuck about it, and she told me so in the past.
We arrived to Jaime's place and there were a few cars outside. We knocked the door and Jaime opened it. ''Heeeeey, look what we have here!'' said with a big smile. Sarah and I smiled as we came inside. There were a considerable amount of people. I saw Mike standing next to a table, talking with his brother, Vic. I got really nervous, and I needed to go away. I wanted to go home. But it was too late, I had to stay in there. He looked at me and smiled. I turned around and went with Sarah to the living room. We seated on a huge couch and started talking with other people.
The night passed and Mike was sitting on another couch, facing me. He occasionally look at me and laughed at my jokes, or said me a few things, but always funny thing, and didn't actually said anything ''important'' to me.
It wasn't a very entertaining party, so I decided I wanted to make some drinks. I asked who wanted a drink, and after few people told me that they wanted, I headed to the kitchen. Mike stood up fast and said ''I'll help you!''. I smiled without looking at him. My heart started beating extremely fast. It was time. Maybe he'll say me something. We reached to the kitchen, I grabbed some cups and before Mike could say a word, Vic came to help us. Mike looked at him with a hatefull look and Vic just smiled. He probably didn't understand what was going on. Fuck you, Vic. He was super funny and such a nice guy, but in that moment, I hated him. After we've done the drinks, we came back to the living room. Mike stared at me, but didn't say anything.
A while after, Sarah was bored and wanted to leave. I obeyed. While Sarah was saying goodbye to everyone, I went to the kitchen to grab my phone, because I accidentally left it there. Mike came up to me. I didn't notice he was following me, so when I turned around, I got scared. He laughed. I asked what was going on, and he told me, in a kinda shy way, ''Jaime told me something.'' I freaked out. I didn't know what to do. I felt like my heart was going to explode because it was beating too fast.
''Yeah? What?'' I tried to look normal, like nothing was going on.
''Well, he told me something like you like me, is it true? Because I felt like he was just fooling around with me...''
''Yeah, it's true, it's all true.'' I said fast. I felt like a release inside me. I breathed deeply. He smiled. Sarah broke the tension screaming ''COME ON, GINA! I'M LEAVING!!!''. I nodded and looked at Mike. He was kinda disappointed.
''Give me your number'' he said. ''I'm gonna call you today for talking about this.'' I smiled, like I never did. I gave him my number and I asked his. I wrote the number on my phone. My hand was shaking. Too much. He noticed that, and said ''Wow, you're fucking nervous'' as he smiled. ''Don't be''. I smiled. Then, I just said goodbye and went out fast, looking at the floor.
I got into Sarah's car, looked at the window and a tear ran down my face. It was a tear of happiness? Yep, it was. Weird. I was completely used to crying, but never of happiness. Sadly, my mind was trying to convince me that it was all a lie. He's not gonna call. And if he call, he's just going to say how cute I am, and he just looks at me like a little cousin. Not even as a sister, because we don't know each other that much. But in a little part of me, hope came back.
Maybe, just maybe, he's gonna be the one that saves me.
The day went faster than I imagined. There were lots of customers, so I didn't have much time to think about my decision of tomorrow. When finally the time of go home again arrived, I just came back and started getting ready. I got a message of Sarah telling me that she was coming for me at 7. I had time. It wasn't necessary, but I took another shower. I looked at all the scars and felt disgusting. But, well, tomorrow all it's gonna be better. If I succeed, of course. I grabbed some underwear and put it on. I decided I was going to wear some black high-waisted shorts and a simple white long-sleeved shirt. I put on some high vans in my feet. I dried and straightened my hair and did my makeup, not too charged, just some eyeliner and mascara.
It was still a little early, so I sat on the piano and started playing. The last time I've sat there, I practiced a piano version of Tangled In The Great Escape that I found on the internet. It wasn't bad, so I played again until Sarah came for me.
When she arrived, she called me and I didn't answer, I just went out. I slipped in her car and drove to Jaime's house. I didn't said anything to her about the Mike thing. And obviously, absolutely nothing about what I was going to do tomorrow. Basically because she don't give a flying fuck about it, and she told me so in the past.
We arrived to Jaime's place and there were a few cars outside. We knocked the door and Jaime opened it. ''Heeeeey, look what we have here!'' said with a big smile. Sarah and I smiled as we came inside. There were a considerable amount of people. I saw Mike standing next to a table, talking with his brother, Vic. I got really nervous, and I needed to go away. I wanted to go home. But it was too late, I had to stay in there. He looked at me and smiled. I turned around and went with Sarah to the living room. We seated on a huge couch and started talking with other people.
The night passed and Mike was sitting on another couch, facing me. He occasionally look at me and laughed at my jokes, or said me a few things, but always funny thing, and didn't actually said anything ''important'' to me.
It wasn't a very entertaining party, so I decided I wanted to make some drinks. I asked who wanted a drink, and after few people told me that they wanted, I headed to the kitchen. Mike stood up fast and said ''I'll help you!''. I smiled without looking at him. My heart started beating extremely fast. It was time. Maybe he'll say me something. We reached to the kitchen, I grabbed some cups and before Mike could say a word, Vic came to help us. Mike looked at him with a hatefull look and Vic just smiled. He probably didn't understand what was going on. Fuck you, Vic. He was super funny and such a nice guy, but in that moment, I hated him. After we've done the drinks, we came back to the living room. Mike stared at me, but didn't say anything.
A while after, Sarah was bored and wanted to leave. I obeyed. While Sarah was saying goodbye to everyone, I went to the kitchen to grab my phone, because I accidentally left it there. Mike came up to me. I didn't notice he was following me, so when I turned around, I got scared. He laughed. I asked what was going on, and he told me, in a kinda shy way, ''Jaime told me something.'' I freaked out. I didn't know what to do. I felt like my heart was going to explode because it was beating too fast.
''Yeah? What?'' I tried to look normal, like nothing was going on.
''Well, he told me something like you like me, is it true? Because I felt like he was just fooling around with me...''
''Yeah, it's true, it's all true.'' I said fast. I felt like a release inside me. I breathed deeply. He smiled. Sarah broke the tension screaming ''COME ON, GINA! I'M LEAVING!!!''. I nodded and looked at Mike. He was kinda disappointed.
''Give me your number'' he said. ''I'm gonna call you today for talking about this.'' I smiled, like I never did. I gave him my number and I asked his. I wrote the number on my phone. My hand was shaking. Too much. He noticed that, and said ''Wow, you're fucking nervous'' as he smiled. ''Don't be''. I smiled. Then, I just said goodbye and went out fast, looking at the floor.
I got into Sarah's car, looked at the window and a tear ran down my face. It was a tear of happiness? Yep, it was. Weird. I was completely used to crying, but never of happiness. Sadly, my mind was trying to convince me that it was all a lie. He's not gonna call. And if he call, he's just going to say how cute I am, and he just looks at me like a little cousin. Not even as a sister, because we don't know each other that much. But in a little part of me, hope came back.
Maybe, just maybe, he's gonna be the one that saves me.
8/13/13