Daughter of Kellin Quinn
Let Love Bleed Red
*Copeland’s POV*
Vic woke me up and suggested to drive me home to get fresh clothes and then off to school I went. We tried our hardest not to wake Tony up because he was still asleep on the couch. I still can’t believe he didn’t feel a thing when I kissed him. I’m so grateful that I acted like nothing happened when he woke up in the middle of the night.
---
School was going by so damn quickly that it was already lunch time. I don’t even recollect going to my first and second hour. I do remember third because I just came from there.
Now that it was lunch time, I decided to sit by myself. I didn’t feel like communicating with all the guys and Alli’s friends. I wanted to see how it would feel in Mountain View to be an outcast. But another thing is that I just didn't wanna sit with her friends. They weren't really...you know...me. So far, I didn’t like it. I glanced at everyone eating, gossiping, and walking around. I thought to myself this is what it feels like to be a loner.
I’ve never been inside a school before to know what being secluded feels like. Now, I know. It didn’t seem so bad but the stares I got from people weren’t pleasant. Some tall girls with long, blonde hair snickered at me as they walked by, meeting up with some cute guys. They all stood in one spot near the vending machine and one of the girls and a couple of guys kept rotating around to gawk at me. I tried to ignore them but I just had the urge to keep looking at them. I didn’t know if they were laughing at me or not. Did they wanna talk to me or something? I mean I was fucking sitting by myself and a new friend might be nice. Or maybe they were calling me names without me knowing.
---
It was the middle of 5th hour when I felt a vibration in the pocket of my blue hoodie. Placing my hands in my pocket, I slickly rotated my phone to the side to see who texted me. It was Tony. That wasn't a damn surprise.
“Alright class, you’re five minute break starts now so get up and stretch or something. Get water and use the bathroom because you’re not doing it later so don‘t ask me,” said our teacher who usually doesn’t do any breaks. She told us straight up on the first day of school yesterday that she hates doing bathroom breaks because when that five minute break is up, no one remembers what they were just doing and we get off topic really easily. I don’t understand why she was doing it today. It’s still the first week so maybe it’s an exception.
I forcefully unlocked my phone and read my text.
Turtl3<3: can you come over after school? Yesterday was fun(: none of us r practicing later but 4 the next week, we will be.
And right before I could type in the text I wanted to write, I got another message. This time, it wasn’t from Tony. Wait, it was my…my dad?! He never texts me just for anything. This must be something serious. The text read…
Dad: come home right after school. I wanna talk to you…
I know I said I’m not riding the bus to school but I was stuck taking the bus home. Great, something I did not want to be sitting on. My mom was busy during the day and from time to time, my dad was with his band so there was nothing I could do.
I texted my dad back quickly before the five minutes were up. I said ok to him and sent the message. I also texted Tony back saying idk if I can 2day. dad and mom want me home 4 some reason. It sounds serious but I’ll let u know.
Our five minutes were up and the class got back to business.
---
6th hour came and went. I left the school immediately, not even saying by to Alli. I just ran out of school and into the big yellow bus I went.
I sat in the front seat by myself. No one cared to sit next to me. For the first time, I felt so…alone. No one cared for me. Not even Alli. She didn’t even come to sit by me at lunch when she clearly saw me perched at a table by myself. This felt so sickening. Now I realize the sadness that some people go through when they have no friends.
My stop was next. I got off the bus, not looking back to see if people were staring at me from the windows. I didn’t care. I wasn’t in the mood. Today was shitty and I hated it.
I walked through the doors of my house and my parents were sitting on the couch watching TV. I pretended like I didn’t see them sitting there but there was no leaving now. “Copeland, have a seat on the stool over there,” my mom said to me as her and my dad turned off the TV and got up to sit by me.
“Did I do something?” I wondered. I saw my dad whisper something to my mom and she quickly got up and walked up stairs. “Where is she going?” I asked.
“It’s better if I talk to you alone.” My dad sat up straight and began to speak. “Is there something you wanna tell me first?”
What the fuck? No, I have no secrets. There’s nothing to tell. “N-no. I’m g-good.” Damn it, why did I stutter? Now he might think I’m hiding something.
“Are you sure?” he asked.
What is this about? “Is there something wrong?”
My dad crossed his arms over his chest. “When you went over Pierce the Veil’s place, did something happen between you and Tony?”
Oh. My. God. He fucking didn’t. Please tell me Jaime didn’t tell my dad?! “No, nothing happened. Why?” I kept a straight face the whole time. If Preciado told my dad, I’m never fucking talking to him ever again. I’ll never forgive him!
“Jaime told me that you have a crush on Tony. Like a little love connection. Is that true?” My dad inspected me for fidgeting signs. My hands turned all sweaty and nervous like.
JAIME ALBERTO PRECIADO…you‘re fucking dead! “What? No! He’s lying. I d-don’t know w-what you’re talking about.”
“Oh really? I asked Vic about it and he said he walked in on you and Tony and he was on top of you.”
“I said that I’ve always wanted to fly so he picked me up and held me in the air. I was too heavy so he lost his grip and threw me on the bed, with him falling on top of me, I swear!” I was trying so hard to keep my cool. If I raised my voice any higher, then he knew I would try to rebel against him and he would figure out that I’m lying to him. “You can even ask Tony! He’ll tell you the whole story. I promise I’m telling the truth.”
“But Vic told me-”
I cut him off. “Uncle Vic doesn’t know anything! He walked in right when Tony fell on me! It was a little trip and fall. No harm.”
“If you ever talk to me like that again, you‘re never leaving your room except for school! And if I catch you sneaking over to their bus, you‘ll see what I‘m going to do to you. You're gonna wish you weren't my daughter!” I got up and sprinted to the bathroom. I quickly slammed the door behind me, locking it. I stood in front of the mirror crying my eyes out. I can’t believe this is happening to me.
I looked at my ugly reflection but there was a blur from crying. Mascara ran down my red cheeks. You’re worthless and a piece of shit! How could you think for one second that Tony would ever want you? You have no friends. You sit alone in every class. No one likes you. You’re opinion is irrelevant to the world! You’re voice is stupid and doesn’t need to be heard. You can never be beautiful and you’ll never reach your goals. You’re personality is terrible! Just do it! End it all now. Nobody cares about you so what the hell are you waiting for? You stupid fucking whore. You look like a fat, ugly pig. Fucking do it! No one will miss you anyway.
These bad thoughts danced around in my brain. I opened the cabinet and searched for the nearest blade. I’ve never done this before but now was the time.
One cut. It hurt like a bitch. Two cuts, this one deeper than the other. Three, four, five cuts. My wrist was pouring blood all over the floor. The pain killed me but it also felt so damn good at the same time. Maybe this is what I needed. I think for once in my life, I hit depression. School was already stressing me out as it was, my dad starts bitching at me on what I can’t do, and now he says that I’ll never see Pierce the Veil again? I have to see them!
I sat on the floor weeping. I hugged my arms around my legs. I saw the blood trickle down my leg as it slid down my wrist. I didn’t care about the stingy feeling that I was getting from my wounds.
I felt so alone and helpless. This didn’t feel right. I wish everything would just go back to how it was before I started this new school. Being an outsider was no fun at all. I wanted to tell Tony everything that just happened. I wish Tony was here with me. He would know exactly what to do. I wanted him to help me through this and tell me that everything will be ok. But no one could help me now.
Vic woke me up and suggested to drive me home to get fresh clothes and then off to school I went. We tried our hardest not to wake Tony up because he was still asleep on the couch. I still can’t believe he didn’t feel a thing when I kissed him. I’m so grateful that I acted like nothing happened when he woke up in the middle of the night.
---
School was going by so damn quickly that it was already lunch time. I don’t even recollect going to my first and second hour. I do remember third because I just came from there.
Now that it was lunch time, I decided to sit by myself. I didn’t feel like communicating with all the guys and Alli’s friends. I wanted to see how it would feel in Mountain View to be an outcast. But another thing is that I just didn't wanna sit with her friends. They weren't really...you know...me. So far, I didn’t like it. I glanced at everyone eating, gossiping, and walking around. I thought to myself this is what it feels like to be a loner.
I’ve never been inside a school before to know what being secluded feels like. Now, I know. It didn’t seem so bad but the stares I got from people weren’t pleasant. Some tall girls with long, blonde hair snickered at me as they walked by, meeting up with some cute guys. They all stood in one spot near the vending machine and one of the girls and a couple of guys kept rotating around to gawk at me. I tried to ignore them but I just had the urge to keep looking at them. I didn’t know if they were laughing at me or not. Did they wanna talk to me or something? I mean I was fucking sitting by myself and a new friend might be nice. Or maybe they were calling me names without me knowing.
---
It was the middle of 5th hour when I felt a vibration in the pocket of my blue hoodie. Placing my hands in my pocket, I slickly rotated my phone to the side to see who texted me. It was Tony. That wasn't a damn surprise.
“Alright class, you’re five minute break starts now so get up and stretch or something. Get water and use the bathroom because you’re not doing it later so don‘t ask me,” said our teacher who usually doesn’t do any breaks. She told us straight up on the first day of school yesterday that she hates doing bathroom breaks because when that five minute break is up, no one remembers what they were just doing and we get off topic really easily. I don’t understand why she was doing it today. It’s still the first week so maybe it’s an exception.
I forcefully unlocked my phone and read my text.
Turtl3<3: can you come over after school? Yesterday was fun(: none of us r practicing later but 4 the next week, we will be.
And right before I could type in the text I wanted to write, I got another message. This time, it wasn’t from Tony. Wait, it was my…my dad?! He never texts me just for anything. This must be something serious. The text read…
Dad: come home right after school. I wanna talk to you…
I know I said I’m not riding the bus to school but I was stuck taking the bus home. Great, something I did not want to be sitting on. My mom was busy during the day and from time to time, my dad was with his band so there was nothing I could do.
I texted my dad back quickly before the five minutes were up. I said ok to him and sent the message. I also texted Tony back saying idk if I can 2day. dad and mom want me home 4 some reason. It sounds serious but I’ll let u know.
Our five minutes were up and the class got back to business.
---
6th hour came and went. I left the school immediately, not even saying by to Alli. I just ran out of school and into the big yellow bus I went.
I sat in the front seat by myself. No one cared to sit next to me. For the first time, I felt so…alone. No one cared for me. Not even Alli. She didn’t even come to sit by me at lunch when she clearly saw me perched at a table by myself. This felt so sickening. Now I realize the sadness that some people go through when they have no friends.
My stop was next. I got off the bus, not looking back to see if people were staring at me from the windows. I didn’t care. I wasn’t in the mood. Today was shitty and I hated it.
I walked through the doors of my house and my parents were sitting on the couch watching TV. I pretended like I didn’t see them sitting there but there was no leaving now. “Copeland, have a seat on the stool over there,” my mom said to me as her and my dad turned off the TV and got up to sit by me.
“Did I do something?” I wondered. I saw my dad whisper something to my mom and she quickly got up and walked up stairs. “Where is she going?” I asked.
“It’s better if I talk to you alone.” My dad sat up straight and began to speak. “Is there something you wanna tell me first?”
What the fuck? No, I have no secrets. There’s nothing to tell. “N-no. I’m g-good.” Damn it, why did I stutter? Now he might think I’m hiding something.
“Are you sure?” he asked.
What is this about? “Is there something wrong?”
My dad crossed his arms over his chest. “When you went over Pierce the Veil’s place, did something happen between you and Tony?”
Oh. My. God. He fucking didn’t. Please tell me Jaime didn’t tell my dad?! “No, nothing happened. Why?” I kept a straight face the whole time. If Preciado told my dad, I’m never fucking talking to him ever again. I’ll never forgive him!
“Jaime told me that you have a crush on Tony. Like a little love connection. Is that true?” My dad inspected me for fidgeting signs. My hands turned all sweaty and nervous like.
JAIME ALBERTO PRECIADO…you‘re fucking dead! “What? No! He’s lying. I d-don’t know w-what you’re talking about.”
“Oh really? I asked Vic about it and he said he walked in on you and Tony and he was on top of you.”
“I said that I’ve always wanted to fly so he picked me up and held me in the air. I was too heavy so he lost his grip and threw me on the bed, with him falling on top of me, I swear!” I was trying so hard to keep my cool. If I raised my voice any higher, then he knew I would try to rebel against him and he would figure out that I’m lying to him. “You can even ask Tony! He’ll tell you the whole story. I promise I’m telling the truth.”
“But Vic told me-”
I cut him off. “Uncle Vic doesn’t know anything! He walked in right when Tony fell on me! It was a little trip and fall. No harm.”
“If you ever talk to me like that again, you‘re never leaving your room except for school! And if I catch you sneaking over to their bus, you‘ll see what I‘m going to do to you. You're gonna wish you weren't my daughter!” I got up and sprinted to the bathroom. I quickly slammed the door behind me, locking it. I stood in front of the mirror crying my eyes out. I can’t believe this is happening to me.
I looked at my ugly reflection but there was a blur from crying. Mascara ran down my red cheeks. You’re worthless and a piece of shit! How could you think for one second that Tony would ever want you? You have no friends. You sit alone in every class. No one likes you. You’re opinion is irrelevant to the world! You’re voice is stupid and doesn’t need to be heard. You can never be beautiful and you’ll never reach your goals. You’re personality is terrible! Just do it! End it all now. Nobody cares about you so what the hell are you waiting for? You stupid fucking whore. You look like a fat, ugly pig. Fucking do it! No one will miss you anyway.
These bad thoughts danced around in my brain. I opened the cabinet and searched for the nearest blade. I’ve never done this before but now was the time.
One cut. It hurt like a bitch. Two cuts, this one deeper than the other. Three, four, five cuts. My wrist was pouring blood all over the floor. The pain killed me but it also felt so damn good at the same time. Maybe this is what I needed. I think for once in my life, I hit depression. School was already stressing me out as it was, my dad starts bitching at me on what I can’t do, and now he says that I’ll never see Pierce the Veil again? I have to see them!
I sat on the floor weeping. I hugged my arms around my legs. I saw the blood trickle down my leg as it slid down my wrist. I didn’t care about the stingy feeling that I was getting from my wounds.
I felt so alone and helpless. This didn’t feel right. I wish everything would just go back to how it was before I started this new school. Being an outsider was no fun at all. I wanted to tell Tony everything that just happened. I wish Tony was here with me. He would know exactly what to do. I wanted him to help me through this and tell me that everything will be ok. But no one could help me now.
@Adileneee__cx
thank you love:)
6/19/14