*Copeland‘s POV*-5 months later-

“Hey, Tone!” I leaped onto the couch next to him and Jaime. He smiled at me.

“Hey, Cope! What’s up?” Tony said, giving me a hug.

“Oh I don’t get a ‘hey’ from you?!” Jaime frowned in a funny way, folding his arms.

I stood up from the couch and gave him a hug. “Hey, Hime Time,” I saluted him, laughing a little.

“Jealous much?” Tony smirked, not looking at Jaime.

“Uh... yeah! I am!” Jaime spat out but laughed after.

“Guys, don’t argue. It’s not worth it.”

“Yeah ok…” Jaime rolled his eyes and turned his body away from us for a second.

“So, Tony…” I started. I perched myself in front of him to make sure he was listening. “I was thinking about how sweet and nice you are.” They both gave me baffled glares. “I hope you know how much of a king you are. You are so generous and kind. And trustworthy. Plus, you’re super funny and-”

“Don’t sweet talk me, peasant!” he shot up, laughing. “What do you want?” A smile spread across his face.

“I was just…wondering…if you…uh, wanted…”

Jaime faced us. “Just say it!” he sprang up from his seat from over excitement. He was listening in on the conversation I was having with Tony.

“Can you go to Prom with me?” I concealed my eyes with my hands but peeked through the crack it made in between.

*Tony‘s POV*

“Can you go to Prom with me?”

My eyes widened with bewilderment. “You want ME to go to Prom with you?”

“Well yeah,” she blushed. “It’s in a week and it’s going to be the bomb. I heard everyone is going to be there! I don’t have date so I was wondering if you could take me out and be my date?”

Prom. She wants me to go to Prom with her. I didn’t even go to Prom when I was a Senior. This one girl asked me and I said no to her. Not because I didn’t like her or that I thought she was ugly but because I know how it works. What the girl wants from me.

People show up in a tux or in a long dress. They dance and get drunk. They grind a whole lot and then grind some more. The guy takes her back to his place and fucks her. Or Prom goes on to have an after party and they get so drunk, they won’t be able to wake up the next day. Not that it’s all bad. But in the end, someone gets fucked over and it breaks into a fight.

I just prefer not to go. That’s why I don’t want to go.

But I can’t tell her that. Wait, why can’t I? Yeah, I shouldn’t. She’s gonna get hurt if I tell her.

But I hate Prom. Ok, not really but ugh…

“Oh my god! Tone you’re so lucky! You better go!” Jaime hollered at the top of his lungs. I can see he’s more charged and pumped than I am and he’s not even going.

“I don’t really know, Copeland. I didn’t even go to my Prom. It’s not my thing.” I was somewhat skeptical. I’ve wanted to go to Prom my Senior year but I chose not to. And it’s too late now. I’m old for this. I…I just can’t.

“Please?! I have no one to go with! You’re the only one I’ve ever wanted to go with. P-Please, Tony?” I could tell by the way her voice scratched that she was frustrated and mad. But her facial expression didn’t seem to show sorrow or anything.

“I can’t. I’m too old for Prom. Go with your friends. You made a lot since the beginning of the school year. I’m sure you’ll have a bundle of fun.”

“B-But, I wanted to go with you. I was so confident that…th-that you…would be my date.” A tear trickled down her cheek. I wiped it away with my thumb.

I sadly looked in her red eyes. “I’m sorry, baby girl. I…I can’t go with you.” I bowed my head towards the ground and stared at my shoes. I didn’t want to see her cry in front of me.

I can’t go. I said I was sorry. She can go with her friends, right? But maybe it’s not the same. She really wants me to go with her.

She poised herself from the position she was in and scrambled her way out of the bus. I watched her throw her hands against her face and burst out crying.

I felt like I just ripped her heart out and threw it in a blender. I didn’t mean to hurt her feelings.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Jaime said furiously, getting up in my face.

“What?” I peered at him.

He pounded me on my shoulder. “Why didn’t you say yes?! She wanted to go with you so damn badly and you blew it! You’re terrible, Tony!”

“I’m not going to her Prom! All these little ass teenagers staring at me and giving me rude looks? I don’t want that. It’s wrong to have an older guy there with a bunch of kids dancing around in a suit…And I‘m not terrible. You don‘t understand.”

“YOU don’t understand,” he pointed his finger in my face. “You don’t get it, do you?”

“What are you talking about?” Confused, I shot him a mysterious glare.

“You’re such a freaking turtle!” He pounced on the couch next to me. “Copeland was planning on asking you to Prom from weeks now. She wanted it to be perfect and you just had to go and ruin it.”

“How do you know?” He was grabbing my attention quickly.

“She explained everything to me. She wanted to have an amazing Prom with someone special…like you. She wants to go with YOU. Not anyone else. YOU. But no, you don’t think about her feelings, only yours.”

“Thanks for making me feel like shit, asshole.”

“You’re welcome. You deserved it.” He stood up and walked to the bedroom. “And by the way, are you only not going because of what others will think about you? If they see an older guy there with a younger girl? You two KNOW each other…for a very long time now so it’s not disgusting at all.”

I reflected for a second. Everything Jaime was saying was right. I feel like such a douche bag for rejecting her.

“And don’t forget,” he said before shutting the door, “YOU’RE the one that told her in the first place that she shouldn’t care what other people think of her. That she’s beautiful and nothing can change that. You really believe that she gives a damn what the kids at her school are going to think? No…you ruined it. But you obviously don’t care. So think about that while you sit in that seat by yourself.” He slammed the door.

God. Fucking. Damn it. I’m such a screw up!

Jaime was right. I’m only not going because of what others will think of me. An older guy with a younger girl. I do know her really well and it shouldn’t be awkward at all.

But for some strange reason, I’m regretting my answer that I told her. I want to go back and change it so badly. But is it too late? Never. This time, I’ll make you proud.

*Copeland‘s POV*

I sprinted upstairs and into the bathroom. I locked the door and slammed it.

No one was home so I could do anything I wanted and no one could stop me.

I searched high and low in the cabinet. I hid my blade from my family so they wouldn’t notice it the next time my mom or dad had to open it. It’s been a while. I needed this though. I just have to.

Good. You finally picked me up again. Now just slide me right over that clean wrist you have right there. I love the feeling of you‘re skin when I cut you deeply. I like when you bleed all over. I like when I leave scars all over your arms. That means you couldn‘t stay strong. That‘s it, more slices. More! MORE!

It’s like the razor was talking to me, telling me all these commands and ordering me to hurt myself.

I was doing so well and everything is falling down hill again. Why couldn’t I stay strong like Tony told me to? I’m beautiful, right? No, you‘re ugly! Keep cutting, you whore. Tony doesn‘t like you. He doesn’t care about how you feel towards him. You love him so much and he hates you. Keep cutting. Deeper. Harder. More cuts.

I slit my wrists 5 times. I watched as the blood dripped from my arm onto the tiled floor. Tony doesn’t like you. He doesn‘t love you. He absolutely hates the way you look. Just keep cutting away. Keep going. I now had 14 cuts going up and down my forearm.

Fuck Tony. Maybe I will go to Prom with my friends. At least they care about my feelings. He obviously doesn’t so why should I give a shit?

-1 week later-

I pulled out my dress I bought yesterday for Prom. It was a short light blue ruffled dress. I have these black stiletto-looking high heels with studs on the side.

I can’t wait to go! I found a couple a friends that were willing to go with me and have fun. I don’t really know them that well but we’re still friends.

I’m still upset that Tony said no to me. I really wanted to go with him. I’m learning to just deal with it. It would’ve been so wonderful if he would go with me and be my date.

I curled my long hair and applied my makeup. I sat on my bed and slipped on my heels. I walked up to the mirror on my dresser and double checked my appearance. I look amazing, no doubt.

I placed my hands on the dresser. I quickly skimmed my arms. There was no chance of me hiding my scars. It was way too hot to be wearing a jacket outside and it wasn’t going to get cold when I come home either. I guess I’m stuck showing them off. I didn’t want to though. Maybe no one will notice them.

I slowly walked down the stairs, my heels clinging to the hardwood floor as I stepped off. I scanned the living room. My dad was no where in sight. God, he’s never in sight. I’m always trying to look for him around the house. Was no one home? I swear I heard someone walk in earlier.

I turned around the corner and saw my mom in the kitchen. Her eyes lit up as she gazed at me with shock.

“Oh my god, Copeland! You look so beautiful, baby!” She ran over to me and gave me a hug. “We need to take pictures before you leave. You‘re so gorgeous!” My mom insisted on taking photos. I’d prefer not to but why not? It was a once in a life time thing. It was Prom and it only comes once. So yeah, why not? I can’t disappoint my mom.

She grabbed her camera from her room and we walked outside in front of the porch. Jack snapped some photos of me standing by the tree. I saw my dad running toward me in order for him to get in the picture as well.

“You’re growing up so fast, Cope,” dad said holding my waist while the flash of the camera took a picture of us together.

“I want a picture with the Prom girl!” Jesse yelled running up next to me while my dad was on the other side of me.Great. We posed for the camera while mom got the car ready.

“Make sure to print those out for me later!” Jesse said, practically dancing his way back to the house.

I hope I have fun at Prom. It’s only a one time thing but I want to have the time of my life. Being with Tony would’ve made it so much more amazing. I can’t blame him for not wanting to go. I mean it is only going to be a bunch of annoying, drunk Seniors grinding on each other and shit. I’m going to stay away from those people.

I'm letting myself forget all about the negative things that pop up in my mind at Prom. I wanted to have a good time and not let anything get to me.

Now off to Prom!

Notes

*title credit: Of Mice & Men;)
*Second & Sebring reference<3..............and sorry for errors!
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