The Tour Life Of Adriana Perry
Blackmail Brings Out The Truth
I paced the bus up and down, everyone was still sleeping, the Asking Alexandria lads had gone and it was fair to say I didn't know what to do with myself. He branded me his property, I had to do anything he said otherwise my affair would be revealed. But then again, who would believe him?
“Morning...” A voice made me jump, I turned to see Justin Hills slouching at the table doing an awkward stretch. I greeted him with a smile before continuing my thing of pacing the bus. They didn't know, no-one else knew apart from my Uncle's and Kellin. That's exactly how I'd like to keep it, but the guilt inside me keeps rising. I know I'll crack, I feel too guilty for doing what I did.
“Justin? I need your advice.” I finally stopped, turning to face him. I was chewing on my lip so much it began to bleed.
“Spit it out then.” he grumbled. Not a morning person, I see.
“I may or may not of hurt someone and they're blackmailing me now. I don't know what to do.”
“Kill them.” his tone was serious, was he really being serious? I shook my head and laughed at the ridiculous idea. I told him it didn't matter, that I'd figure a way round it. But to be very honest with you, I didn't see a way out of this. Maybe I should come clean about my minor affair? I'd forgotten about that, that's why I never felt guilty. But now, I feel even more guilty than ever. Stepping off the bus, I lit up. Sighing heavily as I leant against the bus.
“Hey!”
“I thought you lot had left.” I snapped a little.
“2 hours to go before we do. Something's bothering you.”
“Someone know's about our little fling.” My voice went quieter as I spoke. Each time I mentioned it or thought about it, the guilt built up even more. I was such a silly girl for getting into this mess. I didn't know what to do and neither did the boy to my left.
This was all too confusing.
♠ ♠ ♠
We were now on the road, I spent a lot of time on my own. In the back room, with the boy who was blackmailing me. Have you guessed yet? No? Well I'll tell you in a little while.
“If you don't tell them, I will.” he spoke, resting his hand on my thigh.
“I'll tell them, just give me time.” He hand began travelling, I put my hand over his to stop it. Why on earth were we travelling with him? It didn't make sense, why was he even blackmailing me? Oh that's right because he wants to ruin my life again. God, I hated boys sometimes, they were so damn confusing.
“1 hour.” he snapped, motioning for me to leave. I stood up, quickly exiting the room. I put on the best smile I could and headed down to join the others. We had all the bands on here so it was crowded to say the least. I stood observing them for a second, trying to figure out what to say. There were 4 bands here, 2 of which needed to know whereas the other two didn't.
With a deep breath, I just went for it. Everyone seemed to suddenly notice me, everyone went quiet. Did they know? “I cheated on Kells at the beginning of the relationship.”
A few gasps escaped, a few comments were heard. “Did I hear you right?” my boyfriend spoke up. I looked at the ground, I couldn't look at him. Guilt had officially took over me. The tears formed, god I was a horrible human being. In fact I couldn't even be classed as that. I was a disgrace. I nodded my head in response, I couldn't speak. I knew he was listening from the back of the bus, I could almost see his smirk. He was destroying me slowly.
“Who was it?” Kellin spoke up again.
“Dude it doesn't matter, you're no better than the rest.” Jesse spoke up. I was going to retaliate but he was right.
“What did you just say about my niece?” Mike spoke up, standing up. This is not how I predicted this to turn out.
“Uncle Mike, why don't you go ask your son why he's blackmailing me into this huh? Or maybe why he tried to attack me?” My voice shook. Why was I admitting all this? This was my personal life, not anyone else's. The words didn't stop there. “Or why don't you ask him why he drugged me the other night? I nearly lost a friend through him, I'm going to lose Kellin and everyone. So if you want anyone to blame, blame me and your son.”
I wiped my eyes, I couldn't let them see me cry. Right now I wish dad was here, he'd know what to do. I just wanted to hug him and have him tell me things would be alright. “Who was it Ads?”
“Cassells” well there was no point in lying anymore was there?
“That's why he was in your bunk last night then?” I shot Justin a look. I shook my head. Now how I was suppose to explain that after admitting I had cheated on someone with him? I could feel the gaze from Kellin, burning into me. I got a quick glance at him, he had anger written all over it.
No-one else said anything as I left that room and climbed into my bunk. My whole life is beginning to crumble again and I had no control over it this time. I couldn't fix things this time. Taking out a piece of paper and a pen, I decided now would be right the right time to write a letter.
Dear Dad,
Everything's messing up again. Things were going great, we're on our fourth day of the tour and it's just gone wrong. Dylan came back to get me back, he tried attacking me. I did what I thought was right, but I hurt him. I didn't want to hurt him. But I didn't have a choice. I hope you and mom forgive me.
I've had to admit being a cheater, Kellin now knows about my small fling with James. I think he hates me, I think everyone hates me. What would you do right now? If you can, just please give me the answer. I can't do this on my own.
I miss and love you lots.
Adriana x
Folding it up, I placed it in a envelope and into the box that contained other letters I had written to him. Sighing I led back down, checking my phone. I had 2 new messages
James AA
Hey, did you tell them? Call me?
Ben AA
James just told me, shame you're with Kellin I ship you and James so bad! (Yes I know what shipping means ha) love you x
I tapped out my replies and put it away. Right now I just wanted sleep to consume me. I could hear shouting, the bus had also stopped moving. I grabbed my pillow, covering my ears with it as the silent tears began. I didn't mean to make a mess of this tour, I just wanted one normal life but I couldn't have it could I?
♠ ♠ ♠
We arrived at the venue, I never got out of my bunk. I didn't want to face everyone but I had to sooner or later right? Well I pick later because I wasn't ready for the 20 million questions I would get, the snide comments, the dirty looks. Yes I was a slut and guess what? I'm not proud of it either. I was perfectly happy and because I was scared, I've gone and ruined it. How fantastic am I?
1 New Message; Ben AA
Tour is finished!! How about we come hang out with you for a while? x
I laughed a little, typical. Instead of going home for a well earned rest he'd rather keep travelling and doing what he does best. I agreed, his way of life was perfect. He didn't care, why couldn't I be like him? But think about it this way, I'd have 3 people all trying and fighting to make me their girl.
“Ads?! You coming sweetheart?” I heard my Uncle Vic's voice. I quickly shoved my phone under my pillow and pretended to be asleep. Hopefully if he saw me like this he'd leave me alone. I heard the curtains of my bunk open. “I know you're not asleep.”
“Damn you for being smart.” I grinned at him. “Where is everyone?”
“Already inside. Come on, don't let them ruin this tour.” he petted my hair, like he used to do when I was younger.
“I already did.” I shrugged.
“No you didn't, Dylan did. Now chop chop, I want to see my favourite niece back to her normal self.” he laughed, clapping his hands as he said chop chop. I couldn't help but laugh at him. I rolled my eyes and agreed. After getting ready, I walked into the venue, after meeting a few fans that were already outside.
Well here goes nothing.
“Morning...” A voice made me jump, I turned to see Justin Hills slouching at the table doing an awkward stretch. I greeted him with a smile before continuing my thing of pacing the bus. They didn't know, no-one else knew apart from my Uncle's and Kellin. That's exactly how I'd like to keep it, but the guilt inside me keeps rising. I know I'll crack, I feel too guilty for doing what I did.
“Justin? I need your advice.” I finally stopped, turning to face him. I was chewing on my lip so much it began to bleed.
“Spit it out then.” he grumbled. Not a morning person, I see.
“I may or may not of hurt someone and they're blackmailing me now. I don't know what to do.”
“Kill them.” his tone was serious, was he really being serious? I shook my head and laughed at the ridiculous idea. I told him it didn't matter, that I'd figure a way round it. But to be very honest with you, I didn't see a way out of this. Maybe I should come clean about my minor affair? I'd forgotten about that, that's why I never felt guilty. But now, I feel even more guilty than ever. Stepping off the bus, I lit up. Sighing heavily as I leant against the bus.
“Hey!”
“I thought you lot had left.” I snapped a little.
“2 hours to go before we do. Something's bothering you.”
“Someone know's about our little fling.” My voice went quieter as I spoke. Each time I mentioned it or thought about it, the guilt built up even more. I was such a silly girl for getting into this mess. I didn't know what to do and neither did the boy to my left.
This was all too confusing.
♠ ♠ ♠
We were now on the road, I spent a lot of time on my own. In the back room, with the boy who was blackmailing me. Have you guessed yet? No? Well I'll tell you in a little while.
“If you don't tell them, I will.” he spoke, resting his hand on my thigh.
“I'll tell them, just give me time.” He hand began travelling, I put my hand over his to stop it. Why on earth were we travelling with him? It didn't make sense, why was he even blackmailing me? Oh that's right because he wants to ruin my life again. God, I hated boys sometimes, they were so damn confusing.
“1 hour.” he snapped, motioning for me to leave. I stood up, quickly exiting the room. I put on the best smile I could and headed down to join the others. We had all the bands on here so it was crowded to say the least. I stood observing them for a second, trying to figure out what to say. There were 4 bands here, 2 of which needed to know whereas the other two didn't.
With a deep breath, I just went for it. Everyone seemed to suddenly notice me, everyone went quiet. Did they know? “I cheated on Kells at the beginning of the relationship.”
A few gasps escaped, a few comments were heard. “Did I hear you right?” my boyfriend spoke up. I looked at the ground, I couldn't look at him. Guilt had officially took over me. The tears formed, god I was a horrible human being. In fact I couldn't even be classed as that. I was a disgrace. I nodded my head in response, I couldn't speak. I knew he was listening from the back of the bus, I could almost see his smirk. He was destroying me slowly.
“Who was it?” Kellin spoke up again.
“Dude it doesn't matter, you're no better than the rest.” Jesse spoke up. I was going to retaliate but he was right.
“What did you just say about my niece?” Mike spoke up, standing up. This is not how I predicted this to turn out.
“Uncle Mike, why don't you go ask your son why he's blackmailing me into this huh? Or maybe why he tried to attack me?” My voice shook. Why was I admitting all this? This was my personal life, not anyone else's. The words didn't stop there. “Or why don't you ask him why he drugged me the other night? I nearly lost a friend through him, I'm going to lose Kellin and everyone. So if you want anyone to blame, blame me and your son.”
I wiped my eyes, I couldn't let them see me cry. Right now I wish dad was here, he'd know what to do. I just wanted to hug him and have him tell me things would be alright. “Who was it Ads?”
“Cassells” well there was no point in lying anymore was there?
“That's why he was in your bunk last night then?” I shot Justin a look. I shook my head. Now how I was suppose to explain that after admitting I had cheated on someone with him? I could feel the gaze from Kellin, burning into me. I got a quick glance at him, he had anger written all over it.
No-one else said anything as I left that room and climbed into my bunk. My whole life is beginning to crumble again and I had no control over it this time. I couldn't fix things this time. Taking out a piece of paper and a pen, I decided now would be right the right time to write a letter.
Dear Dad,
Everything's messing up again. Things were going great, we're on our fourth day of the tour and it's just gone wrong. Dylan came back to get me back, he tried attacking me. I did what I thought was right, but I hurt him. I didn't want to hurt him. But I didn't have a choice. I hope you and mom forgive me.
I've had to admit being a cheater, Kellin now knows about my small fling with James. I think he hates me, I think everyone hates me. What would you do right now? If you can, just please give me the answer. I can't do this on my own.
I miss and love you lots.
Adriana x
Folding it up, I placed it in a envelope and into the box that contained other letters I had written to him. Sighing I led back down, checking my phone. I had 2 new messages
James AA
Hey, did you tell them? Call me?
Ben AA
James just told me, shame you're with Kellin I ship you and James so bad! (Yes I know what shipping means ha) love you x
I tapped out my replies and put it away. Right now I just wanted sleep to consume me. I could hear shouting, the bus had also stopped moving. I grabbed my pillow, covering my ears with it as the silent tears began. I didn't mean to make a mess of this tour, I just wanted one normal life but I couldn't have it could I?
♠ ♠ ♠
We arrived at the venue, I never got out of my bunk. I didn't want to face everyone but I had to sooner or later right? Well I pick later because I wasn't ready for the 20 million questions I would get, the snide comments, the dirty looks. Yes I was a slut and guess what? I'm not proud of it either. I was perfectly happy and because I was scared, I've gone and ruined it. How fantastic am I?
1 New Message; Ben AA
Tour is finished!! How about we come hang out with you for a while? x
I laughed a little, typical. Instead of going home for a well earned rest he'd rather keep travelling and doing what he does best. I agreed, his way of life was perfect. He didn't care, why couldn't I be like him? But think about it this way, I'd have 3 people all trying and fighting to make me their girl.
“Ads?! You coming sweetheart?” I heard my Uncle Vic's voice. I quickly shoved my phone under my pillow and pretended to be asleep. Hopefully if he saw me like this he'd leave me alone. I heard the curtains of my bunk open. “I know you're not asleep.”
“Damn you for being smart.” I grinned at him. “Where is everyone?”
“Already inside. Come on, don't let them ruin this tour.” he petted my hair, like he used to do when I was younger.
“I already did.” I shrugged.
“No you didn't, Dylan did. Now chop chop, I want to see my favourite niece back to her normal self.” he laughed, clapping his hands as he said chop chop. I couldn't help but laugh at him. I rolled my eyes and agreed. After getting ready, I walked into the venue, after meeting a few fans that were already outside.
Well here goes nothing.
10/16/13